Age Gaps In Relationships

[Jared]

A Thai girl has the choice but It her background and social status you have to take into account and if she is from a village, she has pressure from the family to find a man with money so maybe its not always her choice.

[john1000]

John1000, So youve spent a whole 3 weeks in Thailand and that makes you an expert on Thai Falang relationships, Maybe you should read the whole of the thread before you start coming out with that crap old man. Not all relationships are like that, what about the younger couples like myself or the several females i know who are married to thai men.

Just stating facts they speak for themselves. ( all the hard luck stories on this forum alone ) And I was talking about age difference situations between Farang and Thai not young couples.

I have friends who have been coming for years and also got to know alot of ex pats. Lets face it why choose LOS in the first place??? No guesses needed.

[Fun2Fun]

nonsense, if a thai girl has anything here, she has choice! There are not only 50- 60 year old men here, there are plenty of others, so for whatever reason it is a choice, her choice not yours or mine.

You can't possibly be that dense, so i have to assume you are joking...

Edited December 15, 2006 by Fun2Fun

[terry57]

A Thai girl has the choice but It her background and social status you have to take into account and if she is from a village, she has pressure from the family to find a man with money so maybe its not always her choice.

mate,

i must say you impress me with your posts as your knowledge of this subject is shining through.

your only a young dude but you are nailing this subject.

keep plugging away.

cheers

[ourmanflint]

nonsense, if a thai girl has anything here, she has choice! There are not only 50- 60 year old men here, there are plenty of others, so for whatever reason it is a choice, her choice not yours or mine.

You can't possibly be that dense, so i have to assume you are joking...

Yes I must be that dense then... are we all to assume then that these "underage" girls are being coerced into something??

Get real... there maybe a very tiny fraction who are pressured into these things by family, but I will not believe it is the majority.

We seem to be drifting into areas in which everyone is speculating without the slightest shred of evidence...

[Diablo Bob]

John1000, So youve spent a whole 3 weeks in Thailand and that makes you an expert on Thai Falang relationships, Maybe you should read the whole of the thread before you start coming out with that crap old man. Not all relationships are like that, what about the younger couples like myself or the several females i know who are married to thai men.

Just stating facts they speak for themselves. ( all the hard luck stories on this forum alone ) And I was talking about age difference situations between Farang and Thai not young couples.

I have friends who have been coming for years and also got to know alot of ex pats. Lets face it why choose LOS in the first place??? No guesses needed.

Well John, I don't see any facts, just your observations, flawed as they might be.

We have over 26,000 members on TV and by your 1 in a 100 ratio(?) only 260 are in a "Loving relationship".

While some of the TV family has been given the short end of the stick, many if not most haven't.

Your assumption that we all have chosen Thailand for "Cheap dates and young girls" is blatantly BS. Unlike you, a 3 week wonder, some of us have a history in this country that goes back decades, and some of us believe it or not actually moved here before we were old enough to even date.........

Lighten up, present facts if you have them. But please keep your jaded opinions to yourself.

Edited December 15, 2006 by Diablo Bob

[jing jing]

Calling someone a pedophile for dating a 19 year old female is just plain ignorant... the fact that such a ludicrous statement comes from an alleged psychologist boggles the mind.

All those claiming how wonderful true love is in Western society are obviously unaware of the higher than 50% divorce rate resulting from all that "true love."

Love is something that develops between people over time -- not to be confused with lust at first sight.

[goldenmile]

my singaporean wife is 10 years older than me.

got married at 22

what a mistake that was.

oh well only another 10 years until the kids are grown up.

[GracelessFawn]

Mostly a big age differnece is someone with money taking advantage of someone with no money in Thailand.

I believe its not fair, but life isnt fair so these things will happend

Donz you were saying that someone with money takes advantage of someone without money? How so? I do not live in the past so I know that some relationships out there exist for practical reasons: monetary, security, debts, etc. Arrangements like this happen not because an old rich guy/woman is rich, but because the relationship is symbiotic. Each party gets something out of the other. While the rich partner provide financial stability and a security blanket, the other (poor) partner on the other hand takes good care of the old rich partner. That's a business arrangement. And some would see it as practical, but this thread is not about this kind of arrangement.

I am talking about a real relationship......... A relationship founded on friendship and respect; strengthened by constant communication, shared jokes, a few simple words of encouragement and/or a few simple words that show we care for each other.

[GracelessFawn]

Some women are in it for financial reasons, and some actually love who they are with. Not a hard concept to the Cynics.

Yeah!

Some women prefer mature men because they are more understanding, patient and very sensitive towards our feelings (or mood changes).

[Jonson83]

Youve really gotta define love,lust etc

IMO,There is very little chance that a 20 year old thai girl will fall in a love with a 45 year old farang bloke just by his looks.I think only a tiny ,tiny minority will find their older western partners that sexually attractive either,if they find them attractive at all(sorry not trying to offend anyone)...

Saying that.It doesnt mean they can't ever love their older partners.What if he treats her well? takes care of her? etc etc Better than any other person ever has in her life? Well,then i think the girl could come to love this chap.Maybe this is what these young thai girl/older farang man relationships are like? Althought it may take time,she will love him for being so good to her? Nothing strange about that.

'i hope thai women like younger guys'

Yeh i hope so to bilfo!

My Thai GF is 4 years older than me,i'm only 23.She doesnt seem to complain

[Jonson83]

Some women are in it for financial reasons, and some actually love who they are with. Not a hard concept to the Cynics.

Yeah!

Some women prefer mature men because they are more understanding, patient and very sensitive towards our feelings (or mood changes).

I think most women would prefer their partner to be older,but not by much..ahem 30..40..50 years

[Don Quixote]

I think is wrong, When i was in Phuket with my gf and old bloke about 60 years old tried to pick up me gf, My gf started to tell him off, like asif he would have a chance with her.

If I have a daughter and when she reaches 20, if a old bloke tries to pick her up there will be hel_l to pay.

Its worng, its as simple as that

Unfortunately you won't have much say over it mate - she's an adult and your a bystander at that stage.

REALY??? She is a child up until the age of 20 in Thailand, you should do your homework. Just like Tropo's child/girlfriend should be doing hers.

Edited December 15, 2006 by Don Quixote

[Douggie Style]

It's interesting, in the last week or so, there was a study published (in our paper) which found the majority stayed with partners who made them feel good about themselves and cared for them.

As other posters have said there is a difference between the short term and long term (note: term not time!).

[tropo]

Some women are in it for financial reasons, and some actually love who they are with. Not a hard concept to the Cynics.

Yeah!

Some women prefer mature men because they are more understanding, patient and very sensitive towards our feelings (or mood changes).

I'm particularly lucky in my relationship.

As you already know, she's Filipina, therefore there is not such a cultural and language difference. Before we met, she walked out on a rich BF she'd been with for almost a year....he was loaded, but she had just had enough...she realised that money is not everything. She had a decent bank account too at the time I met her...she was never short on money.

She's a very attractive, sexy girl and was one of the most sought after girls in the town where we met....men used to fall at her feet. I knew her for a full 6 months before we started going steady, so I had lots of time to observe her. Before we met, she had a major crush on me after a friend introduced us, and tried for 2 months to get my attention.

She was very attracted to me physically as I'm a young looking 40 plus guy who works out regularly and keeps my body in tip top condition...she particularly likes big, muscular guys....which I am.

Sorry to all you people that are convinced that a 28 year age gap is business only...in my case, and many others, you are wrong.

Get over it, young ladies can and do fall in love with much older guys. My girl is just not attracted to young guys. She doesn't find them appealing much to the chagrin of many young guys that used to chase her...and they too had a hard time accepting that she preferred much older guys.

[Jonson83]

'I'm particularly lucky in my relationship. '

'Get over it, young ladies can and do fall in love with much older guys. My girl is just not attracted to young guys. She doesn't find them appealing much to the chagrin of many young guys that used to chase her...and they too had a hard time accepting that she preferred much older guys.'

By saying your 'lucky' ,surely you can admit that it is very rare that a young woman will fall for a much older guy just for his looks.Like is much more common with younger couples?

[jing jing]

My dad always told me that his forties were the best time of his life: younger women were attracted to him, older women were attracted to him; he had money, physical vitality, confidence... in short, everything was working in his favor.

It's true that not all men remain physically fit and highly attractive into their forties, fifties, or beyond, but let's face it -- not all men are fit and attractive in their twenties or thirties. Some guys are lucky and don't go bald at all, while some start losing hair in their twenties. Some guys weigh the same at 45 as they did in college, some were already chubby in college.

The most attractive women usually end up with good-looking, powerful men at least ten years older than themselves because those men can offer things the youngsters haven't got yet: superior sexual experience and prowess (better believe it!), financial security, sophistication... the list goes on.

Guys in their twenties are generally very immature and not ready for long term relationships. Knowing what I know now, I have to wonder why in the world any man under 35 would even consider getting married... of course those young guys don't have the benefit of experience to understand why it's such a mistake. Those are the same guys who think a man in his forties is unattractive to younger women, I guess.

[tropo]

'I'm particularly lucky in my relationship. '

'Get over it, young ladies can and do fall in love with much older guys. My girl is just not attracted to young guys. She doesn't find them appealing much to the chagrin of many young guys that used to chase her...and they too had a hard time accepting that she preferred much older guys.'

By saying your 'lucky', surely you can admit that it is very rare that a young woman will fall for a much older guy just for his looks.Like is much more common with younger couples?

I would not say that it is VERY rare, but I'm not about to put any figures on percentages as there are so many variables. Guys can be attractive to girls at quite advanced ages. Many (Asian) girls find youthful (boyish) looking males distinctly unattractive.

There are many very unattractive young males in despicable physical condition, while there are many older men in superb condition.

Some girls (I've met quite a few Filipinas with this attitude) actually prefer more ordinary looking husbands/boyfriends because they geniunely are not guided by looks at all and prefer a guy that is not too attractive to other girls.

Each relationship should be treated as unique and we should not over generalise as was the case when VanZam immediately labelled me as a pedophile based on age difference alone...he's a geniune fool.

I said I'm lucky in that I've found a very attractive young lady that digs me, however it's not all luck in that I'm in good condition because I make an effort to be physically appealling to women and can easily compete with the 20 - 30 year olds.

Edited December 16, 2006 by tropo

[rtaxron]

I assume most of the Guys on this forum have been married before to a female farang in UK/USA/Aussie etc.

How would you react if your Daughter brought home a bloke who was 20/25/30 years older than her?

[PhilHarries]

Mate im 24 and Ive had girlfriends for as long as I can remember. I was with the same girl from 14 to 18, being young had several other women during that time. Had a few more year or so long relationships up until 21, also living with a few of these women, Some younger most older. Id say im a good looking young lad Ive never had a problem picking up beautiful white women. My first trip to thailand consisted of picking up hot scandinavian or Australian women, didnt go near one Thai girl. It wasnt until I came here with a group of older lads all over 40 that I discovered Thai women and I say it was a treat for the Thai women to have a younger man.

Anyway I certainly didnt come to Thailand to marry as ive spent the last 3 years being single at university and enjoying every minute of it. Also spending every long summer holiday in Thailand enjoying myself. No one in my family or friends can believe im married or have a kid coz Ive never been interested in having children or a serious relationship. I was normally getting stick of everyone for being such a scum bag to women. But i meet my wife and everything changed, you cant help the way you feel about someone and you could be dead tommorrow. Lifes to short. Plus whilst all my mates are back home in the uk in the shitty weather working trade jobs going out at the weekend and trying to pull over weight dogs with serious attitude problems, im living in a beautiful hot country working only a few hours aday and raising my son. On top of that saving a nice lump of money which i would never be able to save in the UK.

As long as you can remember eh? You seem a bit young for Alzheimers but hel_l what do I know about these things?

Scum bag you were? So you came to Thailand where people don't see you as you are. There's a saying regarding leopards and spots, the exact details escape me at the moment but it is early morning.

[jumnien]

I assume most of the Guys on this forum have been married before to a female farang in UK/USA/Aussie etc.

How would you react if your Daughter brought home a bloke who was 20/25/30 years older than her?

How would you react if your daughter brought home a girl 3 years younger than her; politely I hope!

[Grover]

A younger, inexperienced lady, say in her late teens/early 20s who has not much love experience, and falls head over heels in the arms of a man 20 years older then her, is often looking for a fatherly love 'replacement'. Is it as sick as it sounds? Kind of... but not quite.

If for example the girls father was obnoxious and arrogent, she will also seek out these same qualities in an older man, to somehow continue her unresolved father/love tension. This has been demonstrated over and over again in the psychological literature.

This theory can also be applied to the mind of the man. Perhaps this is why age differences of, say, 20 years to a young/girlish woman attract raised eyebrows & uncomfortable feelings in some people - especially, say, the father of the daughter (who is being challenged).

So, in a way, the cradle snatchers are tinted with this perception.

Edited December 16, 2006 by Grover

[ourmanflint]

My dad always told me that his forties were the best time of his life: younger women were attracted to him, older women were attracted to him; he had money, physical vitality, confidence... in short, everything was working in his favor.

It's true that not all men remain physically fit and highly attractive into their forties, fifties, or beyond, but let's face it -- not all men are fit and attractive in their twenties or thirties. Some guys are lucky and don't go bald at all, while some start losing hair in their twenties. Some guys weigh the same at 45 as they did in college, some were already chubby in college.

The most attractive women usually end up with good-looking, powerful men at least ten years older than themselves because those men can offer things the youngsters haven't got yet: superior sexual experience and prowess (better believe it!), financial security, sophistication... the list goes on.

Guys in their twenties are generally very immature and not ready for long term relationships. Knowing what I know now, I have to wonder why in the world any man under 35 would even consider getting married... of course those young guys don't have the benefit of experience to understand why it's such a mistake. Those are the same guys who think a man in his forties is unattractive to younger women, I guess.

Thank you... at last! Someone who actually knows what they are talking about. I think this thread has polarised two very opposite camps, and the split is mostly one of age. Younger guys in their early twenties here as elsewhere really just don't understand women one tiny bit, they may think they do because they've had a few girlfriends, but they have no clue what women want. It is really funny and gratifying to know that.

That is reason they cannot see that a beautiful young girl would choose someone much older than them. It doesn't make sense in their tiny illogical brains that they are not the best thing since sliced bread... this is exactly why there is such a difference of opinion, because we older guys just know women so much more. At least you young whipper snappers have a lot of good things to look forward to as you get older, and as jing jing has said , you are never more attractive to women of all ages than in your late 30's and 40's.

Give it another 15 years lads and you may understand.

[Fun2Fun]

Regarding looks, I'd have to disagree, I find Asian women look fine up until about 25/30, and then go down hill real fast....

Very romantic, so when your current gf reaches 25 or if shes luck 30, she is due to be replaced by a younger model?

Edited December 16, 2006 by Fun2Fun

[Heng]

The most attractive women usually end up with good-looking, powerful men at least ten years older than themselves because those men can offer things the youngsters haven't got yet: superior sexual experience and prowess (better believe it!), financial security, sophistication... the list goes on.

At the same time, I don't think anyone living in the real world would deny that the younger guys and gals that DO have 'it' DO indeed have an edge and are preferred by young and old alike. Older women aren't the only folks using hair dye.

Edited December 16, 2006 by Heng

[Little Black Duck]

Mate im 24 and Ive had girlfriends for as long as I can remember. I was with the same girl from 14 to 18, being young had several other women during that time. Had a few more year or so long relationships up until 21, also living with a few of these women, Some younger most older. Id say im a good looking young lad Ive never had a problem picking up beautiful white women. My first trip to thailand consisted of picking up hot scandinavian or Australian women, didnt go near one Thai girl. It wasnt until I came here with a group of older lads all over 40 that I discovered Thai women and I say it was a treat for the Thai women to have a younger man.

Anyway I certainly didnt come to Thailand to marry as ive spent the last 3 years being single at university and enjoying every minute of it. Also spending every long summer holiday in Thailand enjoying myself. No one in my family or friends can believe im married or have a kid coz Ive never been interested in having children or a serious relationship. I was normally getting stick of everyone for being such a scum bag to women. But i meet my wife and everything changed, you cant help the way you feel about someone and you could be dead tommorrow. Lifes to short. Plus whilst all my mates are back home in the uk in the shitty weather working trade jobs going out at the weekend and trying to pull over weight dogs with serious attitude problems, im living in a beautiful hot country working only a few hours aday and raising my son. On top of that saving a nice lump of money which i would never be able to save in the UK.

As long as you can remember eh? You seem a bit young for Alzheimers but hel_l what do I know about these things?

Scum bag you were? So you came to Thailand where people don't see you as you are. There's a saying regarding leopards and spots, the exact details escape me at the moment but it is early morning.

Phil..Don't you think you were a wee bit hard on the lad ???

He sounded to me like a healthy boy growing up and gaining some experience

that enabled him to find a suitable wife..

No need to take the scum bag thing out of text my friend..

We had a PM in OZ that loved those two words..

[PhilHarries]

John1000, So youve spent a whole 3 weeks in Thailand and that makes you an expert on Thai Falang relationships, Maybe you should read the whole of the thread before you start coming out with that crap old man. Not all relationships are like that, what about the younger couples like myself or the several females i know who are married to thai men.

Just stating facts they speak for themselves. ( all the hard luck stories on this forum alone ) And I was talking about age difference situations between Farang and Thai not young couples.

I have friends who have been coming for years and also got to know alot of ex pats. Lets face it why choose LOS in the first place??? No guesses needed.

Well John, I don't see any facts, just your observations, flawed as they might be.

We have over 26,000 members on TV and by your 1 in a 100 ratio(?) only 260 are in a "Loving relationship".

While some of the TV family has been given the short end of the stick, many if not most haven't.

Your assumption that we all have chosen Thailand for "Cheap dates and young girls" is blatantly BS. Unlike you, a 3 week wonder, some of us have a history in this country that goes back decades, and some of us believe it or not actually moved here before we were old enough to even date.........

Lighten up, present facts if you have them. But please keep your jaded opinions to yourself.

You mean you moved to Thailand all by yourself before you were old enough to date? Fcukin' <deleted>! If, and I repeat if, you did indeed come to Thailand that young then you were brought here by mummy and daddy. Unless you are talking mental age in which case it seems that you haven't aged at all.

As you want facts then tell us how many of the "over 26,000" TV members are in loving relationships. I'll accept a plus/minus 5% tolerance being the generous soul I am.

[Fun2Fun]

My dad always told me that his forties were the best time of his life: younger women were attracted to him, older women were attracted to him; he had money, physical vitality, confidence... in short, everything was working in his favor.

It's true that not all men remain physically fit and highly attractive into their forties, fifties, or beyond, but let's face it -- not all men are fit and attractive in their twenties or thirties. Some guys are lucky and don't go bald at all, while some start losing hair in their twenties. Some guys weigh the same at 45 as they did in college, some were already chubby in college.

The most attractive women usually end up with good-looking, powerful men at least ten years older than themselves because those men can offer things the youngsters haven't got yet: superior sexual experience and prowess (better believe it!), financial security, sophistication... the list goes on.

Guys in their twenties are generally very immature and not ready for long term relationships. Knowing what I know now, I have to wonder why in the world any man under 35 would even consider getting married... of course those young guys don't have the benefit of experience to understand why it's such a mistake. Those are the same guys who think a man in his forties is unattractive to younger women, I guess.

Thank you... at last! Someone who actually knows what they are talking about. I think this thread has polarised two very opposite camps, and the split is mostly one of age. Younger guys in their early twenties here as elsewhere really just don't understand women one tiny bit, they may think they do because they've had a few girlfriends, but they have no clue what women want. It is really funny and gratifying to know that.

That is reason they cannot see that a beautiful young girl would choose someone much older than them. It doesn't make sense in their tiny illogical brains that they are not the best thing since sliced bread... this is exactly why there is such a difference of opinion, because we older guys just know women so much more. At least you young whipper snappers have a lot of good things to look forward to as you get older, and as jing jing has said , you are never more attractive to women of all ages than in your late 30's and 40's.

Give it another 15 years lads and you may understand.

You might be right that guys in their 20's does not have that much experience to draw their conclusions from...

You might also consider that very many mid 40 's and up suffers from accute mid life crises and Per Pan syndrome

Some buy a Harley Davidson, some get a sports car other chases young girls to regain their lost youth.

What can i say, when one day i get to that age maybe i will do the same...

Edited December 16, 2006 by Fun2Fun

[PhilHarries]

Phil..Don't you think you were a wee bit hard on the lad ???

He sounded to me like a healthy boy growing up and gaining some experience

that enabled him to find a suitable wife..

No need to take the scum bag thing out of text my friend..

We had a PM in OZ that loved those two words..

Hey, it's early morning and the caffein hasn't kicked in yet. Anyway SB was his description not mine. Personally I consider a lad of 24 with a wife and child already is taking things a little too fast but that is my opinion. Anyway, best of luck to the guy and his family and I hope them all the happiness they could wish for.

[In the Rai!]

I dont think the 2 sides are about the age gap as much as the age of the younger party. I think there is nothing wrong with age gaps as long as both parties are happy. Meaning that if there is a 30 year difference then so be it if they are genuinely in love. I think it has now turned into an issue of the age of the younger girl/boy. I mean there is a guy that is 62 married an 18 year girl. That I am afraid is sick. I am only 30 and havent been married in the west, had plenty of girlfriends (wish I had more) but now have a Thai wife. I know enough about Thailand to know that at 18 yrs of age Thai females especially have no idea about alot of things . I teach at a university to 3rd year students (20/21 years old) and I consider them too young mentally.

I am not saying that 20/21 is too young (18 is ) but I am saying that you either dont have a good understanding of the Thai language to see how immature these young girls are (my 18 yr sister in-law is a perfect examle) or you got one that is alot more mature for her age compared to the rest of the pond.