Age Gaps In Relationships

[grapetable]

You used the word 'nature'................yes have a look at nature and animal group dynamics.

BTW whats "not right" about it?

Can you explain your assumption of 'sociology'?

Do you mean that it is socially unacceptable for there to be a large age gap in an intimate relationship?

[Fun2Fun]

In a perfect world age differences does not mather, and for some couples it even works out in real life too.

But that is the exception and not the rule

Edited December 13, 2006 by Fun2Fun

[grapetable]

maybe fun2fun..................whats your source of reference, research etc?

[ourmanflint]

You used the word 'nature'................yes have a look at nature and animal group dynamics.

BTW whats "not right" about it?

Can you explain your assumption of 'sociology'?

Do you mean that it is socially unacceptable for there to be a large age gap in an intimate relationship?

If only you could read.... you wouldn't ask such silly questions of me. I said there should be a gap of at least ten years.... I wasn't being completely serious either but I believe it's best

[Fun2Fun]

maybe fun2fun..................whats your source of reference, research etc?

No formal research, sorry. (But i am sure some clever bugger could dig up some googeling)

Just observation and info gatherered through conversations with various people in or out of realtionships, friends and familly of people in such situations and so on.

And as a side note , when i were staying in farangland me and my friends used to be very thankful to the old geesers for bringing a fresh supply of young and beautiful asian ladies for us young blokes to date

[jumnien]

I am 48 years old, my Thai wife is 35. I contribute a sense of naivete and adventure to the relationship while she supplies the wisdom and maturity; it works, it really does!

[VanZam]

VanZam you seem to assume that older man + young Thai (asian) = sex and money?

Rather presumptuous perhaps?

People love to fullfill needs and wants..........ergo if they are happy what does it matter?

I suggest you read through my previous posts. I do not deny the existence of emotionally viable relationships with large age gaps, however my experience as a psychologist in Bangkok suggests that more the most part, money is a large factor in many of these situations.

Fulfilling wants and needs does not constitute "love", as I'm sure the cliental of Nana and Cowboy would confirm.

All humans strive for happiness, but alas, that is not the topic being discussed here.

[Livinginexile]

I'm curious to know how many people still believe in love, especially when we're talking about 15, 20, 25 or 30 years of age gap.

I'm talking about love, the real deal; a relationship where both lovers are completely very much in-love with each other, happy, contented; one that's very nurturing where couples connect mentally, shares a lot of jokes, phone calls, lots of intimacy, conversations, etc. I'm talking about a real relationship, but one plagued with an age gap. Do you think a relationship like this is for keeps? Do you think a relationship like this still exists?

(I am not talking about the different kind of love which exploits a partner in one way or another, love with benefits, broken wings, etc. I do not condemn people who believe or practic this kind of relationship. This thread is not written to condemn.......)

I'm curious to know how many people in ThaiVisa still believe in love and how far these beliefs go.

You have to ask yourself, would these women marry the farangs here in Thailand if they met them on an equal footing in thier own country. The answer in is NO they would not. The reality is they would not even get a second glance.

But then again, Thailand has the best love money can buy

[Fast Eddie]

I'm with The Donz and Vanzam on this one. I'm sure there are instances in which genuine loving relationships with significant age differences do occur, however i suspect that they happen much less frequently than the denizens of this forum are likely to have you believe.

I would imagine that if the OP were to start this topic on a forum predominantly populated by young Thai women, she might get a better idea of how genuine and viable the majority of these relationships are.

Edited December 13, 2006 by Fast Eddie

[ourmanflint]

do you actually think Thai women prefer younger men then??

[Fast Eddie]

All other things being equal, i believe that young Thai women (like women all over the world) prefer to have relationships with guys not too distant in age from themselves, if a genuine loving relationship on their part is what they are after. I suspect there are few who would prefer a relationship with a guy 20 or 30 years older than them.

[Francis Maube]

Love does not mean the same thing to everyone even from the same culural background. If you bridge it across the Western and Thai culture, then the interpretation of love explode in an exponential curve. I anticipate this thread to compete for the longest ever on Thai visa....

[ourmanflint]

All other things being equal, i believe that young Thai women (like women all over the world) prefer to have relationships with guys not too distant in age from themselves, if a genuine loving relationship on their part is what they are after. I suspect there are few who would prefer a relationship with a guy 20 or 30 years older than them.

So like I said 10 years difference is OK almost natural??

[Fast Eddie]

I imagine it would be okay for some, not for others, but it's not unusual to find ten year age differences in developed countries where women have a lot of freedom choice without additional economic pressures to consider. It would appear that a lot of people find that to be quite viable. I would imagine the numbers of people would drop off quite sharply from there though.

It also has to be said that a twenty year age difference between a 40 year old and a 20 year old is somewhat more significant than one between a 70 year old and a 50 year old.

Edited December 13, 2006 by Fast Eddie

[sbk]

I anticipate this thread to compete for the longest ever on Thai visa....

Compete with rain? Wow, mindboggling

[autonomous_unit]

do you actually think Thai women prefer younger men then??

My wife did! I'm nearly 6 months younger.

[ourmanflint]

do you actually think Thai women prefer younger men then??

My wife did! I'm nearly 6 months younger.

I wonder if you're the only toyboy on TV??

[Billfo]

do you actually think Thai women prefer younger men then??

I hope so!!

[ourmanflint]

Once when I was at some disco in Patong, so you can see this is going to be scientifically accurate!! The DJ asked the girls in the club what they preferred? Was it " a young man with lots of power and little money" a big scream let out all across the club as girls shouted in agreement, then the guy asked "or an older man with little power and lots of moneY'

Well I tell you the roof was lifted off the club there and then... the noise was staggering, every woman and every ladyboy in the building screaming yes!!

I love science

Edited December 13, 2006 by ourmanflint

[GracelessFawn]

I believe its rare when the age difference is huge, more to do with other things.

But im sure many here will disagree, let the flamming begin

How do you know? Donz, Sex is not everything! There are other things! Of course, s e x is also important, but I don't think that it will be a problem. Money is nothing! Working will obviously fix monetary problems.

Do you want to know something Donz? I don't care if the guy is 2x or 3x older than me. As long as we're both happy, respect each other, sensitive to each other's feelings and needs, then it's all good.

As the saying goes.... different strokes for different folks!

[mrbojangles]

different strokes for different folks!

But what if he's so old, he can't "swim" anymore

[Fun2Fun]

I believe its rare when the age difference is huge, more to do with other things.

But im sure many here will disagree, let the flamming begin

How do you know? Donz, Sex is not everything! There are other things! Of course, s e x is also important, but I don't think that it will be a problem. Money is nothing! Working will obviously fix monetary problems.

Do you want to know something Donz? I don't care if the guy is 2x or 3x older than me. As long as we're both happy, respect each other, sensitive to each other's feelings and needs, then it's all good.

As the saying goes.... different strokes for different folks!

Easy to say, in the infatuation stage of a relationship almost anything is acceptable, but soon many of your partners habits which you now find so cute and indeering turns into grating and irritating.

So think beyond the fairy tale land of infatuation and consider how such differences will affect your relationship in the long turn.

[BambinA]

Money is nothing! Working will obviously fix monetary problems.

sour grape?

Money is a thing!!

Do you live in this world.. you need it .. even in past world , u still need to barter for living .

let me ask you a question ..

Mr. A and M.r B are identical twins

both look hot , nice manner and too good to be true

Mr.A is a super rich bloke, he can please you with everything you want except the sun ,the moon and stars (and yes you can work for supporting him aswell)

Mr.B is a poverty bloke, he can please you just only salt and plain rice.. (and yes you can work for supporting him aswell)

)

don't tell me you choose Mr. B

BACK to The topic ..

Age gaps are pretty important to me ... i dont want to have a BF who is older than my dad... you know.. differrent generation is difference .

NOWADAYS ... Loving is not enough for living ... you seem to be from Utopia ...

well..nothing personal..just my opinion.. i may be wrong or right .. please dont think im trying to attack you then

different strokes for different folks!

But what if he's so old, he can't "swim" anymore

lol

[GracelessFawn]

Just curious GF, are you talking about a relationship where the man is older or the woman, or both?

Also, do you think it matters if both partners come from the same culture or one is Thai (or other Asian) and one is not?

Personally, I think it depends on the couple. I think it is more difficult if there is a great age gap but not necessarily impossible. And has been said, if two people really love each other and are committed to the success of their relationship they will work through their difficulties rather than throw in the towel at the first sign of trouble.

I'm talking about a relationship where one partner is older. The older partner can either be a man or a woman.

I think that culture is a very important factor to consider when in a relationship. It's a lot easier when both partners come from the same culture. In cases where the partners are from different cultures, I believe that some things could be challenging. One, its mostly a challenge for both partners to look at the same page of a book. Two, it is another challenge to wear the same kind of eyeglasses. Love, commitment and compromise should fix these problems. Awareness and understanding towards the other partner's culture should do the trick and make the couple's life a lot easier.

You are right, sbk. The age gap could make things difficult, but you're also right when you said, it is not necessarily impossible.

If couples irregardless of age, culture, and etc, work through their difficulties, it will clearly show that they are definitely inlove with each other!

[meadish_sweetball]

Mr.A is a super rich bloke, he can please you with everything you want except the sun ,the moon and stars (and yes you can work for supporting him aswell)

Mr.B is a poverty bloke, he can please you just only salt and plain rice.. (and yes you can work for supporting him aswell)

)

That's easy, you'd choose A if all other things are equal. But they rarely are.

A more interesting scenario:

Mr. A is fat and ugly and super rich (so nobody tells him he is ugly). He can buy whatever you like for you and you know you will never lack any material things if you stay with him. But he is fat and ugly, and he will want to have sex with you.

Mr. B is young and handsome, but not rich. You know you will have to help out with making money if you choose him, because he can not offer you a future of secure finances.

Neither of them has a serious alcohol or drug problem, and neither is the violent type. Both are nice to you.

Who do you choose?

[britmaveric]

Easy - the one you love.

[bkkmadness]

I'm sure love was a whole lot easier before people tried to study it.

edit: Well Britmaveric seems to have it worked out.

Edited December 13, 2006 by bkkmadness

[BambinA]

Who do you choose?

who is a smarter one?

i choose that one..

you know.. being 30's .. looked is no more important for me.. just the guy looks like human .. but he's just smart enough for living in this world is enough for me..

but hope that guy is not that old ..

you know 30's vs 70's

[GracelessFawn]

Is that love?

Im sure many I see in Thailand are just together for there needs, the older guy wants to bed the younger girl and the girl wants to not worry so much about being broke and having abit of cash.

IMO they may love each other after awhile but I dont believe it is that at the start.

Not all women want money Donz. Not all of us sink that low! There's always money to be found if we are smart, efficient, hard working, etc.

6 years ago, I flew to BKK with only my college diploma/transcripts, shoes, books and a little bit of cash. I've always been fine on my own. (Been working...... studied for another diploma............ made loads of friends....... partying...... having fun.) Life is beautiful!

Some of (us) women are in relationships because we're happy and its fun to share life with someone else. Not all of (us) women are broke or miserable.

[GracelessFawn]

sour grape?

Money is a thing!!

Do you live in this world.. you need it .. even in past world , u still need to barter for living .

let me ask you a question ..

Mr. A and M.r B are identical twins

both look hot , nice manner and too good to be true

Mr.A is a super rich bloke, he can please you with everything you want except the sun ,the moon and stars (and yes you can work for supporting him aswell)

Mr.B is a poverty bloke, he can please you just only salt and plain rice.. (and yes you can work for supporting him aswell)

)

don't tell me you choose Mr. B

BACK to The topic ..

Age gaps are pretty important to me ... i dont want to have a BF who is older than my dad... you know.. differrent generation is difference .

NOWADAYS ... Loving is not enough for living ... you seem to be from Utopia ...

well..nothing personal..just my opinion.. i may be wrong or right .. please dont think im trying to attack you then

Hi Bambina, thanks for posting on this thread. You are somewhat right about the money thing, but I wasn't talking about it in that sense. Like you, I know for a fact that money counts! All I was saying was..... money is NOT reason enough why I would be in a relationship. Financial aspects might be considered when you start living together because of budget issues, but it is not a MUST HAVE. (Pls. take this in the realistic sense.) I don't think relationships should be based on money either.

About the identical twins........... You know, science has proven that we are all unique individuals. Noone is 100% the same as us, even our identical twin! In other words, identical twins may look the same, but they are actually not the same. They have different interests, different likes and dislikes, different manerisms, etc. They make different choices, they excel in different categories, etc.

So...... I will choose who ever it is that I am inlove with for he is unique and there is noone like him!

different strokes for different folks!

But what if he's so old, he can't "swim" anymore

Come on, you gotta be kidding!

Edited December 13, 2006 by GracelessFawn