What's the most important thing to learn in chemistry?

A: Never lick the spoon.

Chemists are the *cleanest* people you'll ever meet...

they wash their hands even *before* they go to the restroom!

First law of Laboratorics: Hot glass and cold glass look alike

top ways to get thrown out of chemistry lab

10. Pretend an electron got stuck in your ear, and insist on describing the sound to others.

9. Give a cup of liquid nitrogen to a classmate and ask, "Does this taste funny to you?"

8. Consistently write three atoms of potassium as "KKK."

7. Mutter repeatedly, "Not again... not again... not again."

6. When it's very quiet, suddenly cry out, "My eyes!"

5. Deny the existence of chemicals.

4. Begin pronouncing everything your immigrant lab instructor says exactly the way he/she says it.

3. Casually walk to the front of the room and urinate in a beaker.

2. Pop a paper bag at the crucial moment when the professor is about to pour the sulfuric acid

Little Tommy Snow

Alas, he is no more,

For what he thought was H2O

Was really H2SO4.

gulp

Why do Chemists prefer shift work?

Because of the nitrates.

1 or 2 of the artifical sweeter were found because chemists eat or smoke while working and their finger or what sprayed arround was tasting sweet.

I can't recall but LSD has also some crazy story.

Potassium ethoxide rules...C2H5OK?