Single "farang" ladies...

[Talin74]

I'm a single mom, 42 years old and moved to bangkok with my teenager for work.. almost a year now.. but socializing without hitting the pubs almost non existence ..am I the only one with this dilemma ?!? 

 

[johnmell]

 

Could try this website.

 

Meetup.com.bangkok-expat-women

 

[BigKahuna]

Lots of competition

[Talin74]

3 hours ago, johnmell said:

 

Could try this website.

 

Meetup.com.bangkok-expat-women

 

 

3 hours ago, johnmell said:

 

Could try this website.

 

Meetup.com.bangkok-expat-women

 

Today I requested to join that group .. thanks johnmell :)

[eldragon]

Bangkok is a tough place for socializing if you're in your late 30s/early 40s. Especially if you're not into the high-end scene. Then again, I don't know what people do at night back home if they're not into bars. Dinners and movies, I guess. Night markets are good, but they're a bit young. To be frank, you're gonna have a hard time meeting men, even for a platonic relationship. In case you haven't noticed, many of us enjoy the local women. I suggest cooking. Find a place with a proper kitchen. Experiment with some local ingredients. There's also travel. Take advantage of cheap flights, hotels, etc. if you can afford it.

[Talin74]

On 4/11/2017 at 11:50 PM, eldragon said:

Bangkok is a tough place for socializing if you're in your late 30s/early 40s. Especially if you're not into the high-end scene. Then again, I don't know what people do at night back home if they're not into bars. Dinners and movies, I guess. Night markets are good, but they're a bit young. To be frank, you're gonna have a hard time meeting men, even for a platonic relationship. In case you haven't noticed, many of us enjoy the local women. I suggest cooking. Find a place with a proper kitchen. Experiment with some local ingredients. There's also travel. Take advantage of cheap flights, hotels, etc. if you can afford it.

I didn't mean only men ( although that sounds good too .. lol).. back at home we all have our friends, neighbors, soccer moms .. heck even mail man.. hehehe..  I will be here for very long time and it's sad that chances of having meaningful human connections, building friendships are very slim. 

 

[BigKahuna]

6 hours ago, Talin74 said:

I didn't mean only men ( although that sounds good too .. lol).. back at home we all have our friends, neighbors, soccer moms .. heck even mail man.. hehehe..  I will be here for very long time and it's sad that chances of having meaningful human connections, building friendships are very slim. 

 

Learn the local language. Living anywhere and not speaking the language is going to make it hard to meet locals. Dont be one of those sad foreigners who cant speak Thai and has no local friends.

 

 

 

 

[2unique]

There are quite a few Facebook groups and there is a single dad's Bangkok do should be a single moms.

 

To be honest most of my western female friends are older from the British Club but clubs like these and Rotary are out there.

 

Men hmmmm most  (from observation) won't go near a 42 year old Thai let alone the feared and dreaded white woman!!! Hahaha

 

Do you live centrally?

Do you work?

Kid in school?

[BigKahuna]

42 yo asians can look 30 and lots of foreigners are married to them.

 

 

[2unique]

42 yo asians can look 30 and lots of foreigners are married to them.
 
 

True and my wife is older - however from observation (and I spend most of my week in Pattaya) most don't meet their partners at age 42 for the first time.

Anyway let's not derail the topic even though your point is quite interesting.

[BigKahuna]

I wouldnt use pattaya as a guide to anything substantial.

 

If you plan on living somewhere for 5 or 10 years learn the language at least to an immediate speaking level. Doing a language course is also a way to meet people.

 

Hanging out in bars not so good for making good friends but you never know.

[orang37]

I think this a type of query for which there's no one-size-fits-all answer: so much depends on who you are; what your interests/life-styles are; the types of relationships you'd like to develop; the extent of your desire and motivation to become more involved in learning the Thai language, or participating in some aspect of Thai culture.

 

Casual acquaintances ? Good long-term friends ? Intimate companion(s) ?   Gender preference ? Hang out with ?  Party-down with ? Meditate with ? Shop with ? Trek with ?

 

There's a wealth of resources ranging from female only groups, to expat groups, to Craigslist personals, to on-line dating sites, to FaceBook groups, etc.

 

All that said, imho, the older we are, the more finding "true friends," and intimacy, is a challenge, and there is more risk involved. At the risk of "triggering" the gender-snowflakes here, imho, there is much more risk for a farang woman here, particularly with males.

 

It's been a pleasure for me that in my years on the Chiang Mai forum, I've connected with some very intelligent, literary, people, some of whom share my interests in the art history of S.E. Asia, or computer programming, creative writing, etc.

 

best wishes, ~o:37;

 

[Wilsonandson]

Your in Thailand! Why did you come here? To socialize with westerners? Should have stayed at home.

I came here because of the Thai people not the westerners living here. I couldn't speak Thai. It's not important just get outside where ever you live and mix with the locals. After a week or two you'll start making friends and learning Thai. After a year you'll be semi fluent and have many friends. Just remember the golden rule, don't let them in the house.

[eldragon]

8 hours ago, Talin74 said:

I didn't mean only men ( although that sounds good too .. lol).. back at home we all have our friends, neighbors, soccer moms .. heck even mail man.. hehehe..  I will be here for very long time and it's sad that chances of having meaningful human connections, building friendships are very slim. 

 

I know you didn't mean only men, but it seems to be a reason many single women eventually get tired of Thailand, so I thought I'd mention it. You'll meet people though. Just seek out the activities you enjoy and let things happen naturally. You may want to consider a part-time job teaching English. That's a nice way to meet Thais and other expats. Or if you have enough money and don't need to worry about making your money back, open a little business. Coffee shop or something.

 

Now, are you going to tell us your story about the mailman or not?

[fish monger]

41 minutes ago, orang37 said:

I think this a type of query for which there's no one-size-fits-all answer: so much depends on who you are; what your interests/life-styles are; the types of relationships you'd like to develop; the extent of your desire and motivation to become more involved in learning the Thai language, or participating in some aspect of Thai culture.

 

Casual acquaintances ? Good long-term friends ? Intimate companion(s) ?   Gender preference ? Hang out with ?  Party-down with ? Meditate with ? Shop with ? Trek with ?

 

There's a wealth of resources ranging from female only groups, to expat groups, to Craigslist personals, to on-line dating sites, to FaceBook groups, etc.

 

All that said, imho, the older we are, the more finding "true friends," and intimacy, is a challenge, and there is more risk involved. At the risk of "triggering" the gender-snowflakes here, imho, there is much more risk for a farang woman here, particularly with males.

 

It's been a pleasure for me that in my years on the Chiang Mai forum, I've connected with some very intelligent, literary, people, some of whom share my interests in the art history of S.E. Asia, or computer programming, creative writing, etc.

 

best wishes, ~o:37;

 

Could not have said it any better...;-)

[12DrinkMore]

On 4/11/2017 at 11:50 PM, eldragon said:

Bangkok is a tough place for socializing if you're in your late 30s/early 40s. Especially if you're not into the high-end scene. Then again, I don't know what people do at night back home if they're not into bars. Dinners and movies, I guess. Night markets are good, but they're a bit young. To be frank, you're gonna have a hard time meeting men, even for a platonic relationship. In case you haven't noticed, many of us enjoy the local women. I suggest cooking. Find a place with a proper kitchen. Experiment with some local ingredients. There's also travel. Take advantage of cheap flights, hotels, etc. if you can afford it.

In summary,

 

"just get back in the kitchen and clear off"???

[pmarlowe]

You might want to try joining  Internations. They have get togethers every month. Mostly at restaurants (with bars), But its an exclectic group of 20, 30, 40 somethings.

 

https://www.internations.org/bangkok-expats?&utm_source=google_adwords&utm_medium=cpc&utm_term=internations bangkok&matchtype=e&utm_device=c&utm_content=Brand_-_Bangkok&utm_campaign=_Brand&gclid=CJDT0_ayoNMCFdOKaAodfMQIig

[Kabula]

There is an old saying, "there is a reason she is single!" What is yours?  Be self critical.  We all make mistakes and have to work harder to be better and find happiness.

 

There is another fact that most women don't remarry over 40! We all have a shelf life that money can override.

 

It has been my observations over the last 69 years that women that are attractive, no matter what age, smart, self confident, positive, dress well, initiate conversation, help others and are nurturing, don't have to socialize as everyone wants to be their friend!

 

I believe it's time for you to look in the mirror, and ask yourself how can I make changes to attract friends?  Sometimes all it takes is to initiate conversation,  listen, show an interest in them and help them in ways others never do.

 

A good heart is hard to find these days.  That may be the answer to your question.

 

Initiate conversation with two new people a day and soon you will find your phone directory will overflow.  Stay in touch with Line and remember birthdays.  Surprise other women with small gifts.

 

Start a small club others are interested in. Like meeting for walking, hiking, travel, investing, etc.

 

Only go to bars if you want to establish a close relationship with alcoholics, people with problems,  the downtrodden, drug addicts, the financial needy, scammers, psychotics, sociopaths, a various selection of personality disorders. And not forgetting the most  miserable, the covert narcissist with their gaslighting manipulations and flying monkeys.   

 

They are everywhere, but bars are their playground and supply.  Your chances of disappointment increases substantially.    You probably already know that.

 

The big secret is most bar customers don't want a meaningful relationship, because they know they can't have one, or don't want one.  Misery loves company. 

 

Your biggest competion, even if you like women,  are the romantics that savor the 18-30 age group.

 

Be careful what you wish for! There are caution signs everywhere. Sometimes solo is better in the long run until the right friend/s come alone.

 

Good Luck!

 

 

 

 

[bamukloy]

9 minutes ago, Kabula said:

There is an old saying, "there is a reason she is single!" What is yours?  Be self critical.  We all make mistakes and have to work harder to be better and find happiness.

 

There is another fact that most women don't remarry over 40! We all have a shelf life that money can override.

 

It has been my observations over the last 69 years that women that are attractive, no matter what age, smart, self confident, positive, dress well, initiate conversation, help others and are nurturing, don't have to socialize as everyone wants to be their friend!

 

I believe it's time for you to look in the mirror, and ask yourself how can I make changes to attract friends?  Sometimes all it takes is to initiate conversation,  listen, show an interest in them and help them in ways others never do.

 

A good heart is hard to find these days.  That may be the answer to your question.

 

Initiate conversation with two new people a day and soon you will find your phone directory will overflow.  Stay in touch with Line and remember birthdays.  Surprise other women with small gifts.

 

Start a small club others are interested in. Like meeting for walking, hiking, travel, investing, etc.

 

Only go to bars if you want to establish a close relationship with alcoholics, people with problems,  the downtrodden, drug addicts, the financial needy, scammers, psychotics, sociopaths, a various selection of personality disorders. And not forgetting the most  miserable, the covert narcissist with their gaslighting manipulations and flying monkeys.   

 

They are everywhere, but bars are their playground and supply.  Your chances of disappointment increases substantially.    You probably already know that.

 

The big secret is most bar customers don't want a meaningful relationship, because they know they can't have one, or don't want one.  Misery loves company. 

 

Your biggest competion, even if you like women,  are the romantics that savor the 18-30 age group.

 

Be careful what you wish for! There are caution signs everywhere. Sometimes solo is better in the long run until the right friend/s come alone.

 

Good Luck!

 

 

 

 

On top of all that, id ask if the OP is in reasonably good shape?

 

Normally you would have no trouble finding a guy who is tired of Thai women,

but to be honest, a 'large frame' western female will never look very appealing here due to the competition.

 

That may sound a bit shallow, but i suspect many guys were treated in similiar fashion for years by similiar superficial ladyfolk back  home.

[BigKahuna]

10 minutes ago, Kabula said:

There is an old saying, "there is a reason she is single!" What is yours?  Be self critical.  We all make mistakes and have to work harder to be better and find happiness.

 

There is another fact that most women don't remarry over 40! We all have a shelf life that money can override.

 

It has been my observations over the last 69 years that women that are attractive, no matter what age, smart, self confident, positive, dress well, initiate conversation, help others and are nurturing, don't have to socialize as everyone wants to be their friend!

 

I believe it's time for you to look in the mirror, and ask yourself how can I make changes to attract friends?  Sometimes all it takes is to initiate conversation,  listen, show an interest in them and help them in ways others never do.

 

A good heart is hard to find these days.  That may be the answer to your question.

 

Initiate conversation with two new people a day and soon you will find your phone directory will overflow.  Stay in touch with Line and remember birthdays.  Surprise other women with small gifts.

 

Start a small club others are interested in. Like meeting for walking, hiking, travel, investing, etc.

 

Only go to bars if you want to establish a close relationship with alcoholics, people with problems,  the downtrodden, drug addicts, the financial needy, scammers, psychotics, sociopaths, a various selection of personality disorders. And not forgetting the most  miserable, the covert narcissist with their gaslighting manipulations and flying monkeys.   

 

They are everywhere, but bars are their playground and supply.  Your chances of disappointment increases substantially.    You probably already know that.

 

The big secret is most bar customers don't want a meaningful relationship, because they know they can't have one, or don't want one.  Misery loves company. 

 

Your biggest competion, even if you like women,  are the romantics that savor the 18-30 age group.

 

Be careful what you wish for! There are caution signs everywhere. Sometimes solo is better in the long run until the right friend/s come alone.

 

Good Luck!

 

 

 

 

Thanks dr phil

[BigKahuna]

2 new people day is 730 a year. Unless you are in sales that is a bit much.

[dick dasterdly]

Apart from the obvious good advice from a couple of posters to contact various expat groups, I'd add that you're likely to meet other Western women in day to day life once you've been here a while.  (I'm assuming that you've only been here a very short time?)

 

Obviously there are far fewer Western women than men here, and the men are mostly interested in young Thai females for 'intimate' relationships, which can make it far more difficult to find female friends and male 'partners'.  Even so, give it time and I'm sure you'll make friends, both female and male.

[eldragon]

In summary,
 
"just get back in the kitchen and clear off"???

That cracked me up. Thx.


Sent from my iPhone using Thailand Forum - Thaivisa mobile app

[Khon Kaen Dave]

On 4/11/2017 at 2:20 PM, Talin74 said:

 

Today I requested to join that group .. thanks johnmell :)

My dear,, you can expect many pm's now. Good luck.

[portroyal]

Lord Budha is a wonderful companion

reading good books a wonderful experience

[Panda13]

Just smile ... a lot. Try saying hello to the ones you find interesting . You don't need to learn another language to attract your soulmate, if thats who your honestly looking for, you already know each other!

[Khon Kaen Dave]

1 minute ago, portroyal said:

Lord Budha is a wonderful companion

reading good books a wonderful experience

So,many say, is the Bible, The koran, Tom Sawyer,Magical beast's, and where to find them.

But this is not what this lady is after. She is after the companionship of other human being's.Not religious revelation, that is bought on by blind faith, or learning the way to Nirvana. Get real my friend.

[roath]

Try hash house harriers...tends to be mixed male and female farangs

Sent from my PE-TL10 using Thailand Forum - Thaivisa mobile app

[Katia]

Wow.  A woman asks how to meet new friends, and half of the posts assume she is looking for dates and some even advise her that she must not be attractive enough/a  good person if people aren't falling all over themselves to chase her down the street in order to be her friend.

 

OP,  feel free to PM me if you want some suggestions.  You're off to a good start with Meetup, I think. There are some other groups I can think of as well.

[seancbk]

11 hours ago, Talin74 said:

On 4/11/2017 at 11:50 PM, eldragon said:

Bangkok is a tough place for socializing if you're in your late 30s/early 40s. Especially if you're not into the high-end scene. Then again, I don't know what people do at night back home if they're not into bars. Dinners and movies, I guess. Night markets are good, but they're a bit young. To be frank, you're gonna have a hard time meeting men, even for a platonic relationship. In case you haven't noticed, many of us enjoy the local women. I suggest cooking. Find a place with a proper kitchen. Experiment with some local ingredients. There's also travel. Take advantage of cheap flights, hotels, etc. if you can afford it.

I didn't mean only men ( although that sounds good too .. lol).. back at home we all have our friends, neighbors, soccer moms .. heck even mail man.. hehehe..  I will be here for very long time and it's sad that chances of having meaningful human connections, building friendships are very slim. 

 

 

Facebook is a great way to keep up with what social events are going on around Bangkok.

I would recommend going along to the different Comedy Club nights, they are typically attended by Westerners in our age range.    https://www.facebook.com/groups/bangkokcomedy/
 

There are also lots of great cultural events happening all the time here.  Visiting orchestras, opera, art exhibits etc.   All places where you will meet a far more highbrow type of person than the typical misogynistic old blokes on here.

Internations and Meetup.com groups are also a good option (already suggested by someone else).

If you have a teenager then what about meeting other parents through his/her school?   

I've been here 8 years and to be honest it took me about half that time to meet the right type of people.  
 

Best of luck