Thais generally stick their heads in the sand. They have taken the "see no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil" philosophy to the extreme so that it impacts truthfulness, righteousness and direct communication. While the younger generations have started to free themselves from the traditional ways that Thais communicate with, or rather the inability thereof, Thailand's traditions still require adherence to stifling communication. Those Thais that are dishonest, who know of this oddity within Thai society, abuse it to easily scam other Thais. I have discussed this with many Thai people over the past 20 years. Their insights highlighted a huge issue in Thai society which are caused by kreng jai, such as racism, discrimination, breaking the law, spousal abuse, infidelity and rude behaviour to name a few. These and more behaviours are unchecked and occur regularly throughout Thailand. Instead of addressing these issues directly, it is more important to save face, whether it is your face or another Thais face, then to stand up to insults, racism and injustice or defend someone in need. A polite smile allegedly solves everything. I read online that kreng jai can be key to building trust and genuine connections in Thailand. Really? The whole kreng jai philosophy may have been well meant hundreds of years ago but it has morphed into a tool where Thais believe that wrong-doing is none of their business and therefore look the other away. They avoid and ignore confrontation. Likewise, a shonky tradesperson will use this same approach to obfuscate his responsibility to rectify poor workmanship. This whole kreng jai philosophy has enabled tradespeople in my own home to get away with leaking rooftops, leaking gutters, cracked walls and peeling paint and a house and yard that stinks like a sewer. All of this happened despite me instructing them how to repair these items. Although they all agreed to do it my way, they did it the Thai-way - behind my back, which included superficial make-believe repairs. My wife would rather live with defective workmanship, waste money on dodgy operators than demand rectification because kreng jai practically forbids her to appear in any negative way or put demands on a Thai or to show them up for poor workmanship. That applies to any situation between Thais. When we bought our last home, the tenant left her dogs there. My wife kept on telling me: "I'll handle it. Give me time..." but 2 months later, the dogs were still there, interfering with us and posing risks. Eventually, my wife called the former tenant and threatened to involve the police. To me, it sounded more like a lighthearted conversation where she laughed, made jokes and groveled before the former tenant. Even today, I wonder where the threat was. The dogs were eventually removed. It appears that I am the bad guy now. I love my wife but I can't stand her siding with a Thai person who is in the wrong and throwing me in front of the bus instead. She gets angry at me in front of Thai people and wants to tell me off but this would never happen to another Thai person in front of me. I guess I'm less worth than an Asian. I'm expendable. I hope my wife reads this one day so that she may reflect on her behaviour.
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