I want to move my wife and baby to a new area of Thailand away from her thai family

[sead]

I totally agree. You should try it out. I am also born to the sea and i always choose to live in cities close to sea. The food is more expensive. Its more dirty. Have bad traffic but i dont care. Theres more to see for you as a foreigner. Right now i guess you only see Thais and i couldnt stand that. Taking strolls at the beach. Sitting at starbucks or other and just enjoy the seabreeze. Chatt with different foreigners. Her salary would also be much higher. Schools cost more but are better then some small villageschool.

I say go for it...

[Emster23]

 Your "reasons" for wanting to move seem bogus to me and I don't buy them. You said it right off, tho trying to minimize it "I feel a bit selfish"... more than "a bit". What, pray tell, is "the good life by the sea"?

" I see it as a way for her to grow up and evolve and start a new life with her family (my baby and I)."

 Sounds like your wife has got her sh*t together: good job, good friends, mostly good family. You have none of that.

I suggest it is time for YOU to grow up and evolve. This move sounds like dragging her down rather than any positive move for the two of you. Maybe you should do the work and get a good job, good friends and appreciate her family.

[Khon Kaen Dave]

6 minutes ago, jeab1980 said:

"Currently, my wifes family is quite good to me but there is always a bad apple- the eldest brother. From the start he was quite aggressive and disrespectful to me but it has been resolved now as we don't see him much at all. He basically doesn't come to our house at all thankfully. "

Resolved being the main focus.

He is moving not beacuse of the brother its beacuse he wants to swim in the sea. 

Where has this he hasnt got a lot of money come from! All ge says us his wife earns more than him. So does mine so does that mean i dont have the power of money behind me. Quite a leap there.

Read the post, my friend, he says he is on low pay. I live in a village and i know that the power of money is a real advantage. My wife's two sisters live either side of us. I often have a little party for them, or take us all out for a meal to the local fish restaurant. I do them  favours but i never lend them money. My sisters husband's drill broke, so i bought him a new one. I built some wardrobes for the other sister. Its called being the good brother in law. The matriarch of the whole family will not have a thing said against me. Thats called having the power of purchase.If  a felang has no purchase power, it is considered a weakness, and he loses face within the family circle.For what i spend, which is nothing to me, i get a lot of cudos in return, and it makes my wife feel good. Now tell me that doesnt matter, and i will call you a fool. I still say, beware the brother.

[whatawonderfulday]

Seems like the poster has a good idea. They say that all families have their 'black sheep' but in Thailand so many families tends to have a whole flock of them !!

[jeab1980]

5 minutes ago, Khon Kaen Dave said:

Read the post, my friend, he says he is on low pay. I live in a village and i know that the power of money is a real advantage. My wife's two sisters live either side of us. I often have a little party for them, or take us all out for a meal to the local fish restaurant. I do them  favours but i never lend them money. My sisters husband's drill broke, so i bought him a new one. I built some wardrobes for the other sister. Its called being the good brother in law. The matriarch of the whole family will not have a thing said against me. Thats called having the power of purchase.If  a felang has no purchase power, it is considered a weakness, and he loses face within the family circle.For what i spend, which is nothing to me, i get a lot of cudos in return, and it makes my wife feel good. Now tell me that doesnt matter, and i will call you a fool. I still say, beware the brother.

Low pay doesnt mean no money. Its called working to stop being bored as i did. Not about the money

. If you like to treat family so they suck up to you good for you. Petsonaly i look after my family not extended family.so no cudos to me does not matter. Sounds as though you think your a god amongst men. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[thhMan]

How old is your wife? 10

 

Im sure she is a big girl now and can do things on her own

 

Dont stress it... :)

Edited June 21, 2017 by thhMan

[jenifer d]

1 hour ago, Alexpho said:

In your particular case, I wouldn't move. I think you said the key word, " finances ", meaning you are on the low income. Worst case scenario, you move and she does not land another good job or does not like the new area, then everyone is miserable and the repeated trips back home because more and more painful. Living near bangkok or the beach is so over rated. Now if you were wealthy, its a different ball game

 

i agree with most of what you say, except for the beach part-

i live a 1-minute walk from a breathtaking, CLEAN white sand beach w/gorgeous, clear blue water and no jet skis, power boats, or prostitutes anywhere to be seen (but of course, i'm way in the south and far away from any city,

there aren't any cities larger than 40,000 people within 100+ km of us;

it seems as if the OP wants the company of other expats, otherwise why move? Thai village life is so much more

peaceful and cheaper- and if it's Pattaya or Hua Hin he's contemplating, he may love it but the wife probably won't

(especially Pattaya) IMHO, living in or near Bangkok is heinous,

although i love it there, the pollution attacks my skin and health rapidly every time i visit

[kkup]

I'm in a similar situation, I live in Isaan and planning to move near Hua Hin in 2 years. It will be far from the in laws. But im moving so my daughter can make friends with English speaking kids and have a better education. If it's best for our daughter then its best for everyone. I'm the main bread winner so I where ever I go people follow. I'm like the pied piper. Good luck with the move!

[KIWIBATCH]

7 hours ago, colinneil said:

Maybe you are not interested in what others think.

In my opinion not a good idea taking your wife away from her family.

At the end of the day they are family, you are the husband.

In Thailand, family comes first above and before all others, you are the farang husband.

She can get rid of you, but not her blood relations, be very careful.

Well said...colineil......and absolutely 100% true....particularly the words "..in Thailand family comes first above and before all others..."

 

I would also like to add....be very very careful...! 

[Khon Kaen Dave]

2 minutes ago, jeab1980 said:

Low pay doesnt mean no money. Its called working to stop being bored as i did. Not about the money

. If you like to treat family so they suck up to you good for you. Petsonaly i look after my family not extended family.so no cudos to me does not matter. Sounds as though you think your a god amongst men. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

3 minutes ago, jeab1980 said:

Low pay doesnt mean no money. Its called working to stop being bored as i did. Not about the money

. If you like to treat family so they suck up to you good for you. Petsonaly i look after my family not extended family.so no cudos to me does not matter. Sounds as though you think your a god amongst men. 

 

 

 

 

Answer. You speak rubbish. When you marry into a Thai family you have certain responsibilities. I didnt want my wifes family to think that she had chosen badly. My Thai family have respect, and thats what you have to get when you marry into one. If they have no respect for you, you are 'kee Nok' birds shit. My wife is respected and so am i. We even got an invitation to the bank managers daughters wedding.Me thinking that i am a god among men only shows your insecurity in your position. But if you wantbto know, i am noe thief or London wise boy. I had to get a university degree in plumbing design, to earn the big bucks in my country. i worked like a bastard to get where i was. I paid into every pension i could. 20 years. Now i have what i deserve. Nobody gave me anything.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Dumbastheycome]

The  basis  of  your  reasons  to move seem to  say  you  just  want  out. But best  of  luck  to  you.

[Altalake]

It is nice to be a "kept man" - is it not?

 

Stay where your wife is happy, it is not all about Me Me Me.

[billybog]

be careful, i am not saying your life will or will not work. Most thai ladies (wifes) will not tell you honestly how they feel. you may think all is well, but inside she may be hurt, resentful...who knows. One thing i can tell you for sure though. YOU are not #1, #2 or even #3 in line of whats most important to her. you may not know until it happens...but then again...she may be willing to be away from family because you are the one. Something as big as this...you just never know for sure.  I have lived and been going to thailand for 20 years now.  I have met 2 woman that i actually believe when they tell me something. Thats 2 out of god who knows how many.  I am not saying the majority of women in thailand are not good...just saying i take what they are saying with a grain of salt, as the saying goes.

[Rc2702]

7 minutes ago, Khon Kaen Dave said:

 

Sorry KKD I do believe you inherited a house in battersea from your old man God bless. So not entirely correct. Sorry to say I read your posts from time to time. And I'll respond generally to the BS about family first.

[Lucky mike]

You don't just marry the girl, you marry the family ! You can easily take some holidays on the coast....

[Khon Kaen Dave]

8 minutes ago, jenifer d said:

i agree with most of what you say, except for the beach part-

i live a 1-minute walk from a breathtaking, CLEAN white sand beach w/gorgeous, clear blue water and no jet skis, power boats, or prostitutes anywhere to be seen (but of course, i'm way in the south and far away from any city,

there aren't any cities larger than 40,000 people within 100+ km of us;

it seems as if the OP wants the company of other expats, otherwise why move? Thai village life is so much more

peaceful and cheaper- and if it's Pattaya or Hua Hin he's contemplating, he may love it but the wife probably won't

(especially Pattaya) IMHO, living in or near Bangkok is heinous,

although i love it there, the pollution attacks my skin and health rapidly every time i visit

I read in one of your earlier quotes that the Thai people gave you your Thai name after your 4th day there. when they knew it was your home. I would only guess what that name was. I also read the information of where you live and i know it is on Samui. How you describe it is beautiful, but i ask myself, is this the real world of a ' native Thai' I guess you must be a published author? are you a Jackie Collins or an Emil Zola. Your luxurious lifestyle must be a real inspiration to your 'real Thai friends' 

 Post me no more with your twee insults and criticisms of people that dont speak Thai, as you demand they must.Post me no more of your thai life style, when it is far more than any Thai could ever hope to aspire to.

[Khon Kaen Dave]

9 minutes ago, Rc2702 said:

Sorry KKD I do believe you inherited a house in battersea from your old man God bless. So not entirely correct. Sorry to say I read your posts from time to time. And I'll respond generally to the BS about family first.

It was from my grandad. If you have something to say,please do it, i have no secrets.I have never made a penny out of that house. I do not rent it, nor do i let anybody stay there.That house will never pay me anything because it is already in the ownership of my daughter. My family solicitor has control over this. Of course if i die then my wife will receive a percentage of it, which is in writing.If she decides to sell it.which is my wish. I am sure that my daughter would rather have the money than a dusty old house in a part of London that she does not wish to reside. So my threatening friend, bring it on.

Edited June 21, 2017 by Khon Kaen Dave

[swissie]

Rural-Thailand is not for everyone.

OP may have realized, that the Thai-Sticks are not the most exiting place on the Globe. (Boredom setting in?)
Let's face it, most Farangs, staying in the sticks are firmly anchored in a "Family-Environment" and are quite comfortable with this situation. Always assuming Family-Life is "Harmonious".

It must be: How many Farangs are living in the sticks alone without Wife/Family? NOT MANY, because the "Boredom-Factor" is likely to become worse, not better as time progresses.

 

OP may feel that a certain "Boredom-Factor" is rearing it's ugly head, hence his desire to head for the coast (more Farang Company, more choices of Farang-Food etc, etc).

Before "ratteling the cage" in such a dramatic way, OP should head for the coast for 4 weeks (alone). Possibly, after this time, he will find that "the coast" is not necessarily the place where milk and honey flows and his "Home-Base" is not such a bad place after all. Always keeping a close eye on this militant male family-member, well understood.
Cheers.

[Rc2702]

11 minutes ago, KIWIBATCH said:

Well said...colineil......and absolutely 100% true....particularly the words "..in Thailand family comes first above and before all others..."

 

I would also like to add....be very very careful...! 

This is the biggest BS a Thai woman gets a mug to believe IMO.

 

Everything you do you do for your children and providing you do right by them chances are they will do right by you should a time come you need support. 

 

So siblings are not really in that equation and neither should they be unless they are true hard working people like us all I hope.

 

Were moving 100m away from her family because it makes complete sense for the future of our family (son)

 

Better hospitals

Better education

Better leisure options

Better value in property

 

The above are my reasons for the move and I add also should a time come when her parents need help they can live with us. Not dictate what they need.

 

The BIL can absolutely sling his hook and after 37 years of life and not a weeks work done I rest my case.

 

In the OP case I think you are very selfish and you are risking a lot by making such a move without definitive plans that all are happy to do but it's your life and your family so the decision is partly yours but if you have a good support system around your family I think you are very lucky and you may regret the move and if you come back I would not expect the same warm re eption in the future.

[Rc2702]

3 minutes ago, Khon Kaen Dave said:

It was from my grandad. If you have something to say,please do it, i have no secrets.

Ok but you said no one gave you nowt so that's not entirely true is it. I said it twice.

[Khon Kaen Dave]

3 minutes ago, Rc2702 said:

Ok but you said no one gave you nowt so that's not entirely true is it. I said it twice.

Its true, i never wanted the house, but it fell to me. I have never made a penny from it. As i said, i do not rent it.but i pay the insurance on it and the repairs if i have to.What is your problem that you feel you have to prove that i am a store bought prince?

[Rc2702]

Just now, Khon Kaen Dave said:

Its true, i never wanted the house, but it fell to me. I have never made a penny from it. As i said, i do not rent it.but i pay the insurance on it and the repairs if i have to.What is your problem that you feel you have to prove that i am a store bought prince?

I simply corrected you.

[jenifer d]

9 minutes ago, Khon Kaen Dave said:

I read in one of your earlier quotes that the Thai people gave you your Thai name after your 4th day there. when they knew it was your home. I would only guess what that name was. I also read the information of where you live and i know it is on Samui. How you describe it is beautiful, but i ask myself, is this the real world of a ' native Thai' I guess you must be a published author? are you a Jackie Collins or an Emil Zola. Your luxurious lifestyle must be a real inspiration to your 'real Thai friends' 

 Post me no more with your twee insults and criticisms of people that dont speak Thai, as you demand they must.Post me no more of your thai life style, when it is far more than any Thai could ever hope to aspire to.

umm, as it says just below my picture, i live in Lanta; i have never even visited Samui, nor would i...

i am a published author who also professionally edits manuscripts from other authors for my publisher;

since i am not so distantly related to 2 of the last 5 US presidents, i was raised to NOT show off my class and breeding,

and was imbued constantly with the fact that "every person, every life, is a book- don't judge the book by its cover, read the story"-

i have no need to live a luxurious lifestyle or to "show off", and i am equally at home hanging out with a governor, big police, mayor,

kamnan, mafia chief, laborer w/dirt shack, street food seller, drug dealer, kratom partiers, and anybody and everybody in between

 

so, since we know that you can't be bothered to read, (for, indeed, in other posts- even recently- i have stated my Thai nickname)

so sorry that you feel so guilty about not speaking or reading or writing Thai (as well anybody who lives here should),

or about your only having Thais hang out with you when you're buying- i am never expected to pay for anything anywhere 

here that i am invited to go, unless you count the obligatory pulling out my guitar and singing for everybody as all join in,

and welcoming an and all comers to sing/play/jam with me...

[jeab1980]

31 minutes ago, Khon Kaen Dave said:

 

How boring whos the fool!

[roo860]

umm, as it says just below my picture, i live in Lanta; i have never even visited Samui, nor would i...

i am a published author who also professionally edits manuscripts from other authors for my publisher;

since i am not so distantly related to 2 of the last 5 US presidents, i was raised to NOT show off my class and breeding,

and was imbued constantly with the fact that "every person, every life, is a book- don't judge the book by its cover, read the story"-

i have no need to live a luxurious lifestyle or to "show off", and i am equally at home hanging out with a governor, big police, mayor,

kamnan, mafia chief, laborer w/dirt shack, street food seller, drug dealer, kratom partiers, and anybody and everybody in between

 

so, since we know that you can't be bothered to read, (for, indeed, in other posts- even recently- i have stated my Thai nickname)

so sorry that you feel so guilty about not speaking or reading or writing Thai (as well anybody who lives here should),

or about your only having Thais hang out with you when you're buying- i am never expected to pay for anything anywhere 

here that i am invited to go, unless you count the obligatory pulling out my guitar and singing for everybody as all join in,

and welcoming an and all comers to sing/play/jam with me...

 

In between all that socialising and hob nobbing can you spare 5 minutes to find a cure for cancer?

 

Sent from my SM-G920F using Thailand Forum - Thaivisa mobile app

 

 

 

[dexjnr555]

I totally agree. You should try it out. I am also born to the sea and i always choose to live in cities close to sea. The food is more expensive. Its more dirty. Have bad traffic but i dont care. Theres more to see for you as a foreigner. Right now i guess you only see Thais and i couldnt stand that. Taking strolls at the beach. Sitting at starbucks or other and just enjoy the seabreeze. Chatt with different foreigners. Her salary would also be much higher. Schools cost more but are better then some small villageschool.
I say go for it...

If you cant stand seeing Thais, why are you living here in their country?

Sent from my Pixel using Thailand Forum - Thaivisa mobile app

[dexjnr555]

To the OP, give it a shot. If it doesn't work, you can always move back right? May I ask how old you guys are?

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[jenifer d]

2 minutes ago, roo860 said:

 

Are you Monica Lewinsky's mother? In between all that socialising can you spare 5 minutes to find a cure for cancer?

Sent from my SM-G920F using Thailand Forum - Thaivisa mobile app
 

 

answer to first question: no

2nd question: been there, done that, threw away the t-shirt...

[Khon Kaen Dave]

4 minutes ago, jenifer d said:

umm, as it says just below my picture, i live in Lanta; i have never even visited Samui, nor would i...

i am a published author who also professionally edits manuscripts from other authors for my publisher;

since i am not so distantly related to 2 of the last 5 US presidents, i was raised to NOT show off my class and breeding,

and was imbued constantly with the fact that "every person, every life, is a book- don't judge the book by its cover, read the story"-

i have no need to live a luxurious lifestyle or to "show off", and i am equally at home hanging out with a governor, big police, mayor,

kamnan, mafia chief, laborer w/dirt shack, street food seller, drug dealer, kratom partiers, and anybody and everybody in between

 

so, since we know that you can't be bothered to read, (for, indeed, in other posts- even recently- i have stated my Thai nickname)

so sorry that you feel so guilty about not speaking or reading or writing Thai (as well anybody who lives here should),

or about your only having Thais hang out with you when you're buying- i am never expected to pay for anything anywhere 

here that i am invited to go, unless you count the obligatory pulling out my guitar and singing for everybody as all join in,

and welcoming an and all comers to sing/play/jam with me...

I have read your post with interest, i can only say that i can see you singing 'Kumbaya' with your extended Thai 'family". You represent your self as a thai wanna be. There are many of you about. You are obviously so far up your own @rse that you cannot see that you are simply a felang woman with 'hangabouts' As for your guilt about my thai,i get by, but i dont speak Thai, i speak Isaan, which if you didnt know is a different dialect.You seem to think that you have the 'call' on thai culture. But i think you are going to be very disappointed later on in life. I also think that you are here because of some hidden problem that you had in your own country. But anyway, thats not here nor there YET. Enjoy your plastic life with your plastic friends. You wouldn't know real Thailand, if it came up and bit you on the arse.

[catman20]

8 minutes ago, roo860 said:

 

In between all that socialising and hob nobbing can you spare 5 minutes to find a cure for cancer?

 

Sent from my SM-G920F using Thailand Forum - Thaivisa mobile app

 

 

 

Ouch