I want to move my wife and baby to a new area of Thailand away from her thai family

[jeab1980]

10 hours ago, HooHaa said:

an old man who marries  for a caregiver can hardly have the same expectations as a younger man who has married an equal.

 

i reckon advice from some sad sack on his second or third marriage doesnt apply to many genuine relationships.

What a complete load of crap an old man can bring as much to the table as any young buck can. Married his equal whats that supposed to mean?

When it comes to sad old sacks im afraid you win hands down. Old/ middle aged/ young all can have a genuine relationship you sad sack

[wildewillie89]

18 hours ago, colinneil said:

Sorry i totally disagree with you.

You believe your wife loves you before her family ?

Dream on, my wife and i have a fantastic relationship, no man could wish for better, but no way will i ever be number one in her life before her family, no way.

For your sake i hope you never find yourself in a position where your wife has to choose between you and blood relatives, because you are guaranteed to lose.

This is a joke yeah? The wife initially had screaming matches with her family before they met me (as they were very conservative so skeptical of a farang entering the family). I think one main reason all the Thai relatives now make my life so easy and will do anything I suggest is because they know if they don't, then the daughter will leave them and come and live with me back home.

 

Obviously the only other reason is that they (since getting to know me) respect me...seeing as I have 0 baht to my name.

 

If the wife can't stand up against the relatives (in any culture) then not much point being with her. 

[Will E Vormer]

Bad move. Literally.

 

Resentment all round, more so if it affects income from her job.

 

Why not invest in a small condo by the sea to rent out? Then use it for short breaks?

[thaibeachlovers]

On ‎7‎/‎6‎/‎2017 at 1:10 AM, kevozman1 said:

Ultimately as the man in the relationship you should be the one making the big calls. As randoms on the internet how can we possibly help you?

From our personal experiences of that sort of situation. It's always harder if one does not have any advice to help make a decision.

[BEVUP]

6 hours ago, wildewillie89 said:

This is a joke yeah? The wife initially had screaming matches with her family before they met me (as they were very conservative so skeptical of a farang entering the family). I think one main reason all the Thai relatives now make my life so easy and will do anything I suggest is because they know if they don't, then the daughter will leave them and come and live with me back home.

 

Obviously the only other reason is that they (since getting to know me) respect me...seeing as I have 0 baht to my name.

 

If the wife can't stand up against the relatives (in any culture) then not much point being with her. 

Wow ! No actually this is & is it that you only been here for a year or just on this forum ( I'm going to guess the prior)

So ok I guess you you may have read some posts on Thai culture & guess what you missed the parts about STATURE & MONEY as this society survives on it from top to bottom

The screaming matches weren't prior they were as soon as they knew a Farang was entering the family = GET MONEY NOW

Conservative = NO MONEY but will never happen as mother is ruling

Anything you suggest = THEY don't give a rats arse about you

Taking daughter back home = A LOT more oppurtunity to get more MONEY

Falang with zero bht = WILL NEVER BELIEVE THAT , it will only be a matter of time till we find it & bleed it

 

Oh & by the way it looks like they stand up because they are actually being pressured by the family

A man of Italian decent in home country said he came hear long ago & as soon as the family knew he said they were like the homeland local natives - the whole family came looking for money so he bailed

[wildewillie89]

46 minutes ago, BEVUP said:

Wow ! No actually this is & is it that you only been here for a year or just on this forum ( I'm going to guess the prior)

So ok I guess you you may have read some posts on Thai culture & guess what you missed the parts about STATURE & MONEY as this society survives on it from top to bottom

The screaming matches weren't prior they were as soon as they knew a Farang was entering the family = GET MONEY NOW

Conservative = NO MONEY but will never happen as mother is ruling

Anything you suggest = THEY don't give a rats arse about you

Taking daughter back home = A LOT more oppurtunity to get more MONEY

Falang with zero bht = WILL NEVER BELIEVE THAT , it will only be a matter of time till we find it & bleed it

 

Oh & by the way it looks like they stand up because they are actually being pressured by the family

A man of Italian decent in home country said he came hear long ago & as soon as the family knew he said they were like the homeland local natives - the whole family came looking for money so he bailed

I seriously wonder about the types of families people marry into within the country...Like sure, if you are happy paying then that is great, but surely people cannot be happy with the arrangement if they categorise every family within the country as being the same. Kind of a sad existence. 

The father-in-law is the Mayor (ex-Colonel in the Army), the wife is a Director of Public Health, the brother used to be in the Army but now has decided to follow his interests, and the sister is a teacher. If it is going to be a farang she marries, do you really think they are wanting some old fat grandpa with money to marry their daughter? Or a young farang, of a similar age, that the girl will not feel embarrassed to be in public with. 

So all in all the wife is on the same salary as me, the father twice as much as me as he not only gets his salary but also his retired pension.
,
Even the mother-in-law (who is not well educated) now has changed with even the most simple day to day things. Will not ride a motorcycle without a helmet around the village, will voluntarily put a seat belt on, and throw antibiotics, cough medicines etc in the bin, not only for our daughter, but the other grandchildren. All from my suggestions. 

The father-in-law stated to us the other day he wants 3 kids from us. We currently have 1 and the Mrs is pregnant with the second (kids cost a lot of money if you raise them the farang way).

We still currently owe him money he lent us when he built our car port (not the other way around). 

Edited July 7, 2017 by wildewillie89

[davidst01]

2 hours ago, thaibeachlovers said:

From our personal experiences of that sort of situation. It's always harder if one does not have any advice to help make a decision.

Exactly, thats the point of any forum. I have no one to bounce my ideas off and thus its good to hear views from other experienced farang who might have done what Im proposing. 

[bwpage3]

There are many, many, many farang men in Thailand that did it their way and are now divorced. Maybe even more than once.

 

Ask yourself is it worth the risk, to live with the worse possible outcome in that she leaves you and moves home?

 

If it is worth the risk, do what you want.

 

If it is not worth losing your wife and kid? Stay put and make visits to the sea every now and then when you can afford it.

 

Having limited income does not afford you a better life near the sea, because things are actually more expensive near the sea.

 

Remember the risk!

[scoutman360]

Who is the money provider? Is it you? Don't be a fool. If you want to move, then go  If they complain, cut them off. They are playing you as the fool.

[scoutman360]

13 hours ago, BEVUP said:

Wow ! No actually this is & is it that you only been here for a year or just on this forum ( I'm going to guess the prior)

So ok I guess you you may have read some posts on Thai culture & guess what you missed the parts about STATURE & MONEY as this society survives on it from top to bottom

The screaming matches weren't prior they were as soon as they knew a Farang was entering the family = GET MONEY NOW

Conservative = NO MONEY but will never happen as mother is ruling

Anything you suggest = THEY don't give a rats arse about you

Taking daughter back home = A LOT more oppurtunity to get more MONEY

Falang with zero bht = WILL NEVER BELIEVE THAT , it will only be a matter of time till we find it & bleed it

 

Oh & by the way it looks like they stand up because they are actually being pressured by the family

A man of Italian decent in home country said he came hear long ago & as soon as the family knew he said they were like the homeland local natives - the whole family came looking for money so he bailed

 

Let me set you straight. This is not the West. A middle class Thai man will NEVER marry a poor Thai girl for exactly the reason you describe. A Thai guy's family will never let him be sucked dry by a poor low class girls' family. Educated Thai guys are smart.  Are you?? You have the cards in your favor, but they are winning because of your stupidity and you are naïve. An Isaan, or any poor Thai girl has an only option to marry a motorcycle taxi driver or any other poor Thai guy with no money. You are the same as winning the lottery. Don't screw this up, because they are playing you as the fool.

[thaibeachlovers]

On ‎7‎/‎7‎/‎2017 at 11:31 AM, wildewillie89 said:

The father-in-law stated to us the other day he wants 3 kids from us. We currently have 1 and the Mrs is pregnant with the second (kids cost a lot of money if you raise them the farang way).

 

So having 3 because he wants you to, or because YOU want them?

 

If my father in law had told me I had to have his grandchildren I would have told him to naff off.

[thaibeachlovers]

19 hours ago, scoutman360 said:

Who is the money provider? Is it you? Don't be a fool. If you want to move, then go  If they complain, cut them off. They are playing you as the fool.

That's a different topic. I guess he loves his wife and doesn't want to leave her. If she will be unhappy, she will make him unhappy.

[wildewillie89]

31 minutes ago, thaibeachlovers said:

So having 3 because he wants you to, or because YOU want them?

 

If my father in law had told me I had to have his grandchildren I would have told him to naff off.

I think he wants 3 in case any of them decide to go and study in Melbourne, so the other 2 will still have each other here in Thai. But it is flawed logic because 2 of them may want to study overseas, or none of them lol. We haven't decided how many we are having yet. At least two obviously and then the Mrs will go on birth control for a while (whilst we assess our position and plan further).

 

The point was merely made as it countered what the other poster was trying to imply within his incorrect categorisation of all Thai families. Not all are just out for a few baht, many are happy to watch a lot of not only the 'farangs' salaries, but their own salaries, be spent on the kids having a safe upbringing. The father-in-law has paid for our daughters last few 'extra/non-core' vaccines for example. 

Edited July 8, 2017 by wildewillie89