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The poisonous Brother in Law


Rc2702

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5 minutes ago, swissie said:

Nothing wrong with your "Remedy". But within a (large) Thai-Family, at least 1 "Black-Sheep" is always part of the extended family. They will accept this as a "Buddha given fact". Not likely, that the family will agree to expose the Black-Sheep to such "harsh-treatement". (After all, he is a family member).


I woulden't push the issue. You may be qualified as a heartless bad Farang. Not a good position to be in....
Cheers.

You mean like cutting off funding the parents who fund the fool. Already in motion. If people do not act now whilst they have the chance what hope in hell has this layabout got when they are gone. 

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7 minutes ago, Rc2702 said:

You mean like cutting off funding the parents who fund the fool. Already in motion. If people do not act now whilst they have the chance what hope in hell has this layabout got when they are gone. 

Cutting off funding the parents who fund the fool is something that I would do. But knowing, that Thai-Thinking would be: Farang is also taking bread off the table of the parents. = Opening a can of worms, me thinks. Go slow!

Cheers.

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2 hours ago, Rc2702 said:

I have only been on the scene 3 years and the go no where rant is based on uk tv shows who have found a revenue stream by outing fat people with fat camps, tools for boyfriends with that uk's biggest tool and many more similar shows so with such an epidemic proportion of lazy brother in laws why on earth can the same not be done here. The guys 37 not 17 a gentle hand is not going to brainwash a lifetime of doing bugger all its painful to see as he's my family but he's had a free ride his whole life and never committed to anything so I have a hard time contributing to my Mrs parents for them to waste it on him so that is where it is my business.

 

Personally I would like to hear a few bad turned good stories but maybe I'm dreaming and your right it's a go no where rant and I'll just accept he's a bad apple and stand by and do nothing.

Stand by and do nothing. Have a feeling that you are good at that. :post-4641-1156693976:

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Recommend to the parents that the idler becomes a monk.you can dress it up as claiming he need to learn actions, or non-actions in his case, have consequences, ie no work , no food.

Alternatively, as others wisely warn, cutting off funds for the parents will result in you being considered heartless. Do your sisters- in - law feel the same way as you, and does your wife? If there is agreement all round, then you could try to get the parents to move out for a while to live with one of the daughters ( if they live far enough away), and explain there is not enough room for brother-in-law to come too. Left at home alone with no funds, he may suddenly feel the urge to get a job.

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1 hour ago, bannork said:

Recommend to the parents that the idler becomes a monk.you can dress it up as claiming he need to learn actions, or non-actions in his case, have consequences, ie no work , no food.

Alternatively, as others wisely warn, cutting off funds for the parents will result in you being considered heartless. Do your sisters- in - law feel the same way as you, and does your wife? If there is agreement all round, then you could try to get the parents to move out for a while to live with one of the daughters ( if they live far enough away), and explain there is not enough room for brother-in-law to come too. Left at home alone with no funds, he may suddenly feel the urge to get a job.

I have never seen any change in No 1 BIL who is a grade A bludger and sponger.Takes from his miserably oppressed wife and any other female in the family and has astonishing delusions of grandeur-which certainly do not encompass the concept of work.

 

Unfortunately my wife and other members of the family contributed to his last enterprise which was a karaoke bar where he and his mates promptly drank all the profits.

 

"He my brother...we are family."

 

Fathers,uncles,brothers and sons-it really makes very little difference up here where I live.

Edited by Odysseus123
clarity.
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21 minutes ago, oldhippy said:

It is beyond my  understanding that Thais don't realize that this borrowing / subsidizing leads to nowhere.

 

My wife and her family were just about ruined by putting themselves up as guarantors for a bank loan of the elder brother. You would think that as a result the idea of lending money would have become taboo.

Recently my wife's son wanted to set up a coffee cart. He did not ask me - I am known to be keenoi (? stingy in English). So he borrowed 20.000 from BiL (yes, for a coffee cart) - 4 weeks later no more coffee cart, no more 20.000.

But lazy ass son and BiL still get along well!

 

Maybe it is that weird local abomination of buddhism?

 

 

 

It is funny that you say that..

The oppressed SiL,who runs a modest street cart,and now looks about 110 years old is mercilessly berated by ol' granny whenever she dares to complain about her husband and she is certainly encouraged to "accept" her lot in life as all part of the Buddhist cycle of life.

 

It is quite striking to note that female subservience is encouraged by the other,more elderly women,most of whose husbands have either never worked,deserted them or dropped dead from  the massive imbibing of Lao Kow long ago.

 

Sidestepping the demands of lazy,greedy males is an art form that I have never quite perfected tho' they do leave me alone now.A foreigner at the other end of the village has just about suffered the ultimate financial penalty for overlooking what his wife and her two male sons  were  up to.

Edited by Odysseus123
clarity.
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6 hours ago, colinneil said:

Thai families !!!! bloody frustrating being married to a Thai lady.

Family think they are everything, you the farang are only there as an ATM.

My wife was told before we married i will take care of you, but bot your family.

Now as most members know i am paraplegic, what help do we get from wifes family?

Absolutely sweet <deleted> never help for even 1 minute.

A while back my wife asked her father to remove some branches etc, from the garden.

He answered how much the farang pay me, my answer the second word was off.

 

Ha..ha.

 

There is an old British army saying.."To swear like the army in Flanders"probably from Marlborough's time but between the useless Bil and my wife's 24 year old son,I am probably swearing more like the Aussie army on Gallipoli.

 

Never mind,the issue will be resolved in two weeks time.

 

Strangely enough I do not blame my wife,intellectually she is as sharp as a tack,but the grinding,relentless demands have certainly worn her down too..she wants out.

 

Sorry to hear about your paraplegia-I am a monopedal (one legged) ATM.

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The problem here is most Thai boy's are treated like little emporers and never subject to discipline,my ex wife stepson was the same,at 13 he had the brain and attitude of an 8 year old,so no wonder they grow up to to be useless ,feckless adults,really no more than adult children,this does not apply across the board,many richer Thai familys take a much more disciplined approach. My current girlfriends children are wonderful,polite,well bought up,and actually do work around the house,such as cleaning,sweeping ect,polar opposites from my ex wife's son.

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