The week that was in Thailand news: Thailand – it’s as safe as houses!

[rooster59]

The week that was in Thailand news: Thailand – it’s as safe as houses!

 

 

In their inestimable and undeniable wisdom a succession of headmasters delegated Rooster as their choice to deliver the keynote address at the orientation of new teaching staff to Thailand at my prestigious international school every August.

Maybe they felt that I could give some guidance about what awaited the usual two dozen expatriate hopefuls arrayed before me in my classroom. Or was it just that none of the other expats on the staff had a clue what to say about Thailand most living as they did in their British bubble of bliss in the kingdom.

My talk had all the usual elements you might expect, from feet to the Royal Family and back, and was liberally sprinkled with vital local language tips for teachers – like how to pronounce Carlsberg in Thai or order a Coke in a bag with ice.

My musings were invariable well received – I was after all the head of Thai so I should have been able to impart something! One could always tell those few who had been hired locally – they had that smirk of skepticism at a farang telling them about Thailand though it was easy to bring them round by giving face. It is not just the Thais that appreciate that after all…

My talk was meant to be uplifting and positive at the start of a school year and so it was, but without laboring the point I wanted to mention a few matters where the new arrivals might want to take care.

It was always my feeling that Thailand had dangers but I had felt since my earliest days in the kingdom that it was essentially a safe place. But I drew everyone’s attention to three things in particular.

These boiled down to looking when crossing the road, only engaging the local population intimately when clad in latex and not going out of your way to make trouble, especially if you had enjoyed a glass or two of Teachers.

Fail to observe these and you may go home in a box, was my refrain.

So it has been with some wistful memories of that past existence that I have mused on several stories recently that have graced the Thaivisa news as the authorities try to downplay the dangers of a visit to Thailand and the forum Thai bashers rant on about it being the most dangerous place on earth.

Unlike Rooster they probably had never been in the Leppings Lane end at Hillsborough, Sheffield, for a cup semi-final…..

For me Thailand remains a place of relative safety where natural disasters are few, coups and barricades are restricted to a few streets and the worst we have to worry about are soi dogs on four legs, soi dogs on four wheels and an angry missus.

Probably doubting my assertions of safety this week was the tourist on Samui who uncovered, literally, the story of the week. He had noticed a bit of a smell on the beach, something that most of us would probably have put down to yesterday’s som tam re-fermenting.

But he dug a little deeper and the grisly secret of Lamai was revealed – a Burmese lady called Rucie well known in the area as a friendly vagrant. Her mistake seems to have been possessing a gold chain.

Soon the police were looking for more Burmese as the cops echoed the famous line from Casablanca – “round up the usual suspects!”

Of course this brought the usual conspiracy theorists crawling from the Thaivisa woodwork as if it is only those from Myanmar who are picked on.

Come on guys – don’t you realize that it was those nasty Burmese who were responsible for the sacking of Ayuthaya? And in the great run of things 1767 was just yesterday.

Certainly The Samui Times were bucking the Burmese bashing trend with their claims that Koh Tao is deserving of the name “Death Island”. The editorial team there – or is it actually abroad – came out with a statement to say that no libel writ had been issued against them and besides, they were sticking to their guns about what they stated previously.

The Surat Thani governor had said he intended to sue but methinks there is more than enough circumstantial evidence to point to a prima feces case against the southern islands.

In reality it is the authorities themselves who should take a long hard look at what is going on in “paradise”.

For things may not be as rosy as they believe.

Providing some light relief as ever was the general purpose PM who has come up with the cunning plan to make sure Thailand is ready for the future by demanding that all his army chiefs learn and are tested in English. This seemed to fly in the face of his earlier claims that Thai was the lingua franca of planet earth.

One would hope that some of the vocabulary taught might include tricky long words like “democracy”, “accountability” and the slightly shorter and easier to grasp concept of “elections”.

Ever amusing Prayut had told reporters that learning English would be good for his minions so that they “won’t be dumb like me”.

Naturally he said this in Thai.

For Rooster it brought to mind a story some years ago connected to foreign languages when Suphanburi dynamo Banharn Silapa-Archa was prime minister.

It had come to some reporters’ attention that said Banharn was not in possession of one of the prerequisites of the highest elected office in Thailand – namely having a degree.

So one cheeky hack asked Banharn what was his qualification? Quick as a flash he said that he had a degree in French. A reporter followed up with a question to test this assertion asking the diminutive politico:

“Comment allez-vous?”

Banharn’s response is unlikely to go down in the annals of French literature:

“Alai wa?”, was all he could muster.

Yes, just as in these exalted times, politicians could pretty much do as they wished, all with that Thai smile on their collective faces that says “up yours Khun Jimmy”.

But while politicians often seem to do as they please they are proving no match for the giants of the internet world in their half-hearted effort to rein in adverse comment online.

The supposed crackdown on social media and sensationalism has predictably proved to be nothing more than saber-rattling as the Thai authorities realize they are no match for something they don’t truly understand and certainly cannot control.

Perhaps they should ask some children about it or the millions of people with their collective noses buried in their phones that I see every day – that may give them a clue as to where the country is headed – and what not to mess with.

No round up of the news could be complete without at least partial reference to my favorite seaside resort and I make no apology for referring once again to the 8th Wonder of the Modern World, namely the Pattaya road tunnel.

This is “wonder” in the sense of ‘I wonder why they bothered building it in the first place’ because I see no sooner have they claimed to have finished it than they are starting to repair it.

Apparently some “rogue water”, as the translator mischievously referred to it, has surfaced down by the sea.

Whether this will put the date back, forward or sideways remains to be seen in what is becoming as big a soap opera as the woman and her pals bashing the sex-seeking architect she met online.

Police chief Sanit put in his customary appearance for the cameras at Chok Chai nick on this vital case with perhaps the only surprise that he just had a few dabs of makeup forgoing the perm for the baying photogs.

Meanwhile my thanks to the poster on the column last week who drew my attention to the spelling on The Nation’s header of “Thailland’s Independent newspaper”.

“What the ‘el?” I hear you say.

I doubt those responsible would do very well at the international Scrabble tournament that was held in Bangkok this week attended by none other than New Zealander Nigel Richards, the best player in the world.

Maybe the guys at The Nation should join the army chiefs in a Spelling Bee.

Tourism minister Khun Kobkarn was rumored to be handing out the prizes for the Scrabble event, doubtless referring to Thailand being a hub of spelling and quoting an increase in tourist revenues of 87% as a result.

Due to cutbacks at Thaivisa there is only one Rooster award this week. The “Taking the Michelin Award” goes to the restaurant that gave its customers a whopping ten percent discount on top of providing them with some extra protein via a cockroach in the dim sum.

I always wondered what that Chinese term referred to – at least now I know it means the same as English – a bill lacking in any intelligence.

Finally a tip of the titfer to the Health Department who have been encouraging the population this week to give up booze for Buddhist Lent.

It got me thinking – if everybody gave up alcohol for three months I wonder what the effect would be on the statistics of domestic violence, murder, road death and assault by tanked up parents on their little children?

Let’s call that a rhetorical question.

Rooster.

 

 

 

-- © Copyright Thai Visa News 2017-07-09

[bbbbooboo]

hmm.... with the very poor building "standards"  in Thailand " as safe as houses" is a silly statement.... TIT

[off road pat]

"The Week That was" was one of the best this week !!! had a great laugh !!!

[All right]

I often hear that Thailand is a dangerous place. Don't think so. Here's why. The hot climate, different nationalities, drugs and alcohol, all contribute to crime, of course. But, if you come to relax, without drugs and ladyboys, no problem. I  did not sat in the hotel, we went and went where we  wanted, did what they wanted without drugs, of course, ladyboys, no problem. Thais really feel that if a tourist is no nonsense, they respect that and are very helpful. What's really dangerous in the Kingdom, so it is traffic (what can you do?) and business. But, if you simply relax - this is a safe place.

[sambum]

"concept of "ejections"? Sorry - spot of dust on the screen - OK now!

Edited July 9, 2017 by sambum

[williamgeorgeallen]

had not put the 2 stories together but the army is expecting higher levels of spoken english while school teachers english levels are being reduced.  wonder what that all means. probably not much. stay the course.

safe as houses has not applied  since the american government set up the 2008 housing crisis by funding freddy mac and fanny may.

Edited July 9, 2017 by williamgeorgeallen

[Roger Harris]

I often hear that Thailand is a dangerous place. Don't think so. Here's why. The hot climate, different nationalities, drugs and alcohol, all contribute to crime, of course. But, if you come to relax, without drugs and ladyboys, no problem. I  did not sat in the hotel, we went and went where we  wanted, did what they wanted without drugs, of course, ladyboys, no problem. Thais really feel that if a tourist is no nonsense, they respect that and are very helpful. What's really dangerous in the Kingdom, so it is traffic (what can you do?) and business. But, if you simply relax - this is a safe place.

 

 

What a load of B/S you are talking, It appears that you have no experience here at all. I lived a lot of countrys, there is crime everywhere, however living in Thailand these are poor people with little but no education. There living is scrounging on the falang and robbing them. Read the news its always the farang that are being sought after not the Thais

[eeyang wah]

12 hours ago, rooster59 said:

soi dogs on four wheels

Almost missed that one!

Rooster I love your work.

[The Deerhunter]

Cut the booze for 3 months and look to a huge drop domestic violence in every family........... except where there is someone addicted to said compound or financially dependent on it as an owner, financier or worker in the alcohol manufacturing, distribution or retail sales.  Also anyone with the same selection of relationships  to any bar, club, cafe, pub restaurant  etc; in other words, pretty much anywhere in the hospitality industry with the possible exception of some guest houses.   So 50% of the population will be better behaved and the other 50% much worse.   No change!!!

Edited July 9, 2017 by The Deerhunter

[All right]

6 hours ago, Roger Harris said:

It appears that you have no experience here at all. I

maybe.

6 hours ago, Roger Harris said:

I lived a lot of countrys

I also some where were. For example, in Beijing, I felt less comfortable than in Bangkok sort of a Scam. .

6 hours ago, Roger Harris said:

Read the news

I just think that the news is distorting the picture. Many pulled out of context, so people think there is hell. .

[whaleboneman]

9 hours ago, Roger Harris said:

I often hear that Thailand is a dangerous place. Don't think so. Here's why. The hot climate, different nationalities, drugs and alcohol, all contribute to crime, of course. But, if you come to relax, without drugs and ladyboys, no problem. I  did not sat in the hotel, we went and went where we  wanted, did what they wanted without drugs, of course, ladyboys, no problem. Thais really feel that if a tourist is no nonsense, they respect that and are very helpful. What's really dangerous in the Kingdom, so it is traffic (what can you do?) and business. But, if you simply relax - this is a safe place.

 

 

What a load of B/S you are talking, It appears that you have no experience here at all. I lived a lot of countrys, there is crime everywhere, however living in Thailand these are poor people with little but no education. There living is scrounging on the falang and robbing them. Read the news its always the farang that are being sought after not the Thais

It appears you have no experience outside of the red light district.

[sanemax]

10 hours ago, Roger Harris said:

What a load of B/S you are talking, It appears that you have no experience here at all. I lived a lot of countrys, there is crime everywhere, however living in Thailand these are poor people with little but no education. There living is scrounging on the falang and robbing them. Read the news its always the farang that are being sought after not the Thais

Robberies by Thais against foreigners is quite rare, thats why, when it does happen, its headline news .

    

[All right]

I don't know what is "red light district". Went where wanted and when wanted, night and day.

[Stargeezr]

Good read, and I hope that Thailand is safer than the 150 high rises in Britain that are clad

in the non- fire proof stuff that the USA supplied.  At least I have heard that is where the cladding of

that poor structure that was on fire, was from. Please correct me if I am wrong about that.                                                                    I have been to

Thailand many times, and even though I have been in a few questionable areas,   I have felt as safe in

most of Thailand as I feel in my own city here in Canada. I admit that I am usually in my room and in bed

for sleep by midnight most nights.  I also do not do drugs or frequent places where the lady boys are in

great attendance.  Maybe I have just been lucky so far. I am glad to read of other travellers who have had

frequent trips to LOS and have survived all right..

Geezer