Finally Ran Out Of Excuses Of Why I Can't Go.

[Griffin]

I have been coming up with evermore elaborate excuses as to why I can't visit her home and extended family, but now I have given in. I have met her mother here in Bangkok and know her brothers, so it won't be a huge shock.

I'd like to hear a few of your experiences during your first trip in to darkest Isaan. I have seen photos of her home village, so, once again, it won't come as a total surprise.

I admit to being a creature comforts kind of person, but I have traveled around Asia and have 'roughed it' in the past. Just how rough is it? It's more the reaction from the locals that I'm interested in. How will they perceive a non-Thai speaking westener?

Is it OK if I go for a wonder round on my own? (please don't insult me with comments along the lines of "they eat stray farangs") It's more that I don't want to scare/annoy/surprise anyone and possibly ruin the trip.

Any tales to tell would be gratefully read.

[emwobberlydee]

My first visit to Issan was a lot of fun yet occasionally a little painful.

Plenty of food was laid on as they knew we were coming, plenty to drink as well, the house at the time was an old style building with low beams (for me). I 'examined' several of these beams up close with my forehead as well as a few low flying door frames.

Sleeping directly under a ceiling fan seemed a great idea at first until beatles flying into the fan are deflected down at great velocity and typically smack you in the head as well.

Some mosquito repellent as the sun goes down greatly improved my mood, as sitting swatting and scratching for the remainder of the evening was not something I relished the idea of.

It was truely incredible how many in-laws were crammed into the car when we went off to the nearest bigger town.

I live up country permanantly now and wouldn't move for the world but that first visit is always one to remember.

Get up there and have a good time!

[SanukJoe]

I have been coming up with evermore elaborate excuses as to why I can't visit her home and extended family, but now I have given in. I have met her mother here in Bangkok and know her brothers, so it won't be a huge shock.

I'd like to hear a few of your experiences during your first trip in to darkest Isaan. I have seen photos of her home village, so, once again, it won't come as a total surprise.

I admit to being a creature comforts kind of person, but I have traveled around Asia and have 'roughed it' in the past. Just how rough is it? It's more the reaction from the locals that I'm interested in. How will they perceive a non-Thai speaking westener?

Is it OK if I go for a wonder round on my own? (please don't insult me with comments along the lines of "they eat stray farangs") It's more that I don't want to scare/annoy/surprise anyone and possibly ruin the trip.

Any tales to tell would be gratefully read.

It depends for a large part in what quality you visit her village. Are you marrying her there? Or get engaged? Or are you just a bf who comes to see how the gf lives? Different approaches with different reactions.

In all case don't go alone, let your gf show you around, first because she will be proud to show her farang bf, second she speaks the language and knows the people. Learn to "wai" the people according to their status or age, that helps a lot. Smile a lot, that's what they do too.

As for comfort, don't count on anything. My first trip was ok because I didn't expect anything and my (now) wife told me several times how poor her family is (not true, with a lot of land) she even feared I would be so disappointed I would leave her (of course that would not happen, I love her and was prepared to forget western comfort and start again thai style).

So I was sitting on the floor, eating Tom Maak Houn with sticky rice (fingers) but I was prepared so ok. The parents, who take care of 2 grandkids too, sleep with our 3 kids plus my wife plus me on the floor on a thin matrass. If you realise I'm over 100 kg you can imagine it was not very comfortable. Next day we went to Udon and bought a better matrass, problem solved. Sitting on the floor is also not what I can do for hours, but her sisters husband constructed in one evening a chair for me, small but very comfortable. This is called "Farang chair" and nobody but me is allowed to sit in it except the kids.

Showering by throwing a pan of cold water over you is another experience I made. Luckily my wife made it up by showering together with me...

No need to say that the same day that I bought the matrass I also bought a water heater and from that moment all have warm water shower with even a shower head...

I love it, our house will have more comfort like airco, beds, table and chairs, but it is good to have been back to zero, no comfort at all.

The best experience is the food. Simple but absolutely first class. Rice is always available, vegetables too. Mae (mother in law) prepares the meat or the (just caught from own pond) fish on a fire, papaya salad is made, asking everytime if I can eat it (my answer: phaet) and you eat outside for hours, as a social gathering.

I realise I'm drifting away, sorry if this is too long, I'm just totally in love with not only my wife, but also Isaan culture and the people in Isaan!

Joe

[SanukJoe]

My first visit to Issan was a lot of fun yet occasionally a little painful.

Plenty of food was laid on as they knew we were coming, plenty to drink as well, the house at the time was an old style building with low beams (for me). I 'examined' several of these beams up close with my forehead as well as a few low flying door frames.

Sleeping directly under a ceiling fan seemed a great idea at first until beatles flying into the fan are deflected down at great velocity and typically smack you in the head as well.

Some mosquito repellent as the sun goes down greatly improved my mood, as sitting swatting and scratching for the remainder of the evening was not something I relished the idea of.

It was truely incredible how many in-laws were crammed into the car when we went off to the nearest bigger town.

Absolutely true in my case too. The day after our marriage the WHOLE family wanted to go to Nong Kai and said that they would all fit in ONE Toyota pick up!!! As I learned to not come up with logical arguments I kept quiet and we drove to the village to pick up grandfather and grandmother. Then, to my pleasure, they found out that one car was not enough, so we drove with 2 cars. Their only concern was that 2 cars cost more petrol and I offered the trip so also paid. Just figures: family = 12 adults and 6 kids

I live up country permanantly now and wouldn't move for the world but that first visit is always one to remember.

Get up there and have a good time!

[stepenwolf1958]

I have been coming up with evermore elaborate excuses as to why I can't visit her home and extended family,

Just beware...Many surprises waiting you there...I was in Mukdahan town,made my life upside down to be,divorced because plans together to marry and after all - i found she have a husband there...even she said she is divorced...After all,many farangs,also Thai men,told me that is not so rare...some kind of habit,custom-whatever...man will push her to the farang just about money...I would not like you accept this as general acting of Thai women but not so rare as western people could think...

[JacknDanny]

Just beware...Many surprises waiting you there...I was in Mukdahan town,made my life upside down to be,divorced because plans together to marry and after all - i found she have a husband there...even she said she is divorced...After all,many farangs,also Thai men,told me that is not so rare...some kind of habit,custom-whatever...man will push her to the farang just about money...I would not like you accept this as general acting of Thai women but not so rare as western people could think...

Is this something along the lines of The Da Vinci Code ??

[SanukJoe]

name='stepenwolf1958' date='2007-01-02 00:30:05' post='1058328

Just beware...Many surprises waiting you there...I was in Mukdahan town,made my life upside down to be,divorced because plans together to marry and after all - i found she have a husband there...even she said she is divorced...After all,many farangs,also Thai men,told me that is not so rare...some kind of habit,custom-whatever...man will push her to the farang just about money...I would not like you accept this as general acting of Thai women but not so rare as western people could think...

I agree, it happens, but not often in Isaan. For Isaan women the language of the heart is much stronger than for other women IMO.

Also, there are so many tokens of real love and/or fake that one should be able to find out. I think most farangs want it to happen too quickly, I hear of men marrying one month after they met their thai woman!!! Some take more time and wait 3 months! At home they would take at least 6 months to get to know their gf, but in Thailand it has to be quick quick. Why? Speedy love is bound to collaps.

I'm not pointing at anyone, please don't consider it this way, but I think if farang would take more time they would be more sure about their loving woman...

Joe

[old wanderer]

When I went with my "wife to be" she comes from a very small village. I had proposed to marry her in the USA. All the relitives came, and we had a BIG meeting about this. Finally it was agreed she could come to America with me, but we had to return and get married in her village also.

Well it took 6 years to fulfill that part of the deal, but it did get done.

Do yourself a favor, and eat a lot of Thai food from various sidewalk vendors, see what you like and what you do not. Looks bad to take a mouthfull with 30 people watching and just spit it out in front of them..

Practice a few Thai phrases as well.

Most of all be aware your GF is going to be very proud bringing you there, do not allow her to loose face...Just go with the flow, and if something you did not like, save it for later. She is also going to be nervous about you, suck it up, and quit woring about yourself.

Drink with the men, but don't allow yourself to get drunk...as it could compromise your reasoning, and you never know what might come out of your mouth. This is your GF time, make it special

[bkkandrew]

Just getting my gear together to get to the airport to fly to Udon now. The annual yearly chore. Make the best of it though and recognise that it is "her time"...

No internet there though...

[Bryan in Isaan]

My first visit to Issan was a lot of fun yet occasionally a little painful.

Plenty of food was laid on as they knew we were coming, plenty to drink as well, the house at the time was an old style building with low beams (for me). I 'examined' several of these beams up close with my forehead as well as a few low flying door frames.

Never assume there is any sort of code when it comes to obstructions, low clearance or any thing for that matter. I lost count of all the things I have run into or tripped over.

Sleeping directly under a ceiling fan seemed a great idea at first until beatles flying into the fan are deflected down at great velocity and typically smack you in the head as well.

...

How about those kamakazi grasshoppers? Often I will be walking around the yard, drifting off, contemplating the meaning of life and one of those things will ping me right in the face going 90 kph. They don't even need a ceiling fan.

[LoveDaBlues]

If they don't have a mosquito net over the bed where you will be sleeping I would get one and take it with you. And forget about taking a decent shower if they have a traditional Issan house. Your 'shower' will consist of a large clay pot with a plastic dipper! If you can't handle crickets, cold fish and rice for breakfast I suggest you take what you like with you.

Some people can adapt and live in a traditional Issan village but I have no desire to do so. Nothing to do up there and only local food. I do enjoy a short visit as the family and other village people are nice.

Good luck.

[calibanjr.]

As a walkabout general rule in Thailand ANYWHERE, especially upcountry, even at the TGF's family place, I always make sure that I bring TP and at least one good book.

[Vegemite]

I have been coming up with evermore elaborate excuses as to why I can't visit her home and extended family, but now I have given in. I have met her mother here in Bangkok and know her brothers, so it won't be a huge shock.

I'd like to hear a few of your experiences during your first trip in to darkest Isaan. I have seen photos of her home village, so, once again, it won't come as a total surprise.

I admit to being a creature comforts kind of person, but I have traveled around Asia and have 'roughed it' in the past. Just how rough is it? It's more the reaction from the locals that I'm interested in. How will they perceive a non-Thai speaking westener?

Is it OK if I go for a wonder round on my own? (please don't insult me with comments along the lines of "they eat stray farangs") It's more that I don't want to scare/annoy/surprise anyone and possibly ruin the trip.

Any tales to tell would be gratefully read.

I was the same as you, basically dreading going upcountry.

When I finally did it wasnt so bad and it sort of grows on you for some strange reason that I cant put my finger on.

The wifes village is very small and primative.

The food was a worry for me so I took some cans of baked beans and sausages and a couple of loaves of bread, I just cant eat that upcountry food, and it worked out really well. The local shop lady could cook up some good Thai food ( as aposed to Issan food ) so that helped but it was just living on a basic level for me. A bit like camping for to long.

A chair is a good thing if you can get one. Sitting on the hard bench things that they spend most of thier time on starts to wear thin after a while. Your back is allways curved and not a lot of soft stuff under your bum.

Sleeping on a tiled floor ( I was a lucky one ) on a thin matress was the pits so I never got a good nights sleep. I am thin so it may make a difference.

The chickens wake you up before the crack of dawn and it all starts again.

No english.

The locals are really friendly in a proud sort of a way and great people. The best.

We will be up there again in March but this time there will at least be an air bed and we will have our own room thankyou to the gods.

People told me on this forum that I wouldnt apreciate it until after I had been and this is true for sure. I cant wait to go back.

All the best.

[BigSnake]

I have been coming up with evermore elaborate excuses as to why I can't visit her home and extended family, but now I have given in. I have met her mother here in Bangkok and know her brothers, so it won't be a huge shock.

I'd like to hear a few of your experiences during your first trip in to darkest Isaan. I have seen photos of her home village, so, once again, it won't come as a total surprise.

I admit to being a creature comforts kind of person, but I have traveled around Asia and have 'roughed it' in the past. Just how rough is it? It's more the reaction from the locals that I'm interested in. How will they perceive a non-Thai speaking westener?

Is it OK if I go for a wonder round on my own? (please don't insult me with comments along the lines of "they eat stray farangs") It's more that I don't want to scare/annoy/surprise anyone and possibly ruin the trip.

Any tales to tell would be gratefully read.

Go man!! Bet it will be a very enjoyable time, maybe even the time of your life. I had the same feeling many years ago. May I suggest talk to her or some other farangs to get an ideal about the surrounding area(ie nearby hotels, 7/11 etc) Truth me "been there, done that"

[Griffin]

Thank you ten times oven gents. I should pad out details of our relationship as Thai-Visa has its fair share of holiday love losers. I, like you, am not one of them.

We have been together for 4 years, so no! there is no 'husband' waiting in the wings. Just me. I have met her direct family many times. In fact when the kids visit their parents in Bangkok they tend to stay with us. I guess a well stocked fridge, a playstation and a big sofa to play/sleep on is like a trip to Disney land for them. So I am comfortably intergrated into the family. When I upgrade anything the old one is passed or sold (at a nominal fee) to her family. Indeed I have seen pictures of her house and can see my old things in the background.

I am not bothered by the fact I may have to sleep on floors as I have done it in Burma or that I may have to have a cold shower. I am very bothered I will have to spend some time away from all my gadgets (i can hardly recall a life before downloading MP3 files), but I guess it's ok for 3 days.

After your tales I'm sure I can cope with the rusticness of it all. Thanks for that.

My next worry is what is expected of me? In the 4 years I have NEVER been asked for money and my better half knows better than to ask. I have never had a hand out in my life and nor do I think people should. Over Songkran I laid on a good spread on the roof and bought the kids guns etc and everyone had a jolly good time.

I explained to her that culture is a 2 way street and that people who turn up empty handed to a party are not invited back and her brothers and wives turned up with food and drink aswell. Although mine was consumed I liked the gesture. So in short I have the balance here in Bangkok pretty well sorted.

Now, when I find myself in a small village close to the boarders of Cambodia I feel that that I won't know anything.

I understand that it is her time and don't want to screw it up (hence my post) by doing or saying the wrong thing. Will I be expected to pay for everything? Will I be expected to buy her family new stuff? The answer would be NO. However I would be happy to help stock the larder a bit as I am staying there.

So, any pointers on what I am expected to give/offer/leave behind would be great.

Thanks in advance.

Griff

[Vegemite]

I have been coming up with evermore elaborate excuses as to why I can't visit her home and extended family, but now I have given in. I have met her mother here in Bangkok and know her brothers, so it won't be a huge shock.

I'd like to hear a few of your experiences during your first trip in to darkest Isaan. I have seen photos of her home village, so, once again, it won't come as a total surprise.

I admit to being a creature comforts kind of person, but I have traveled around Asia and have 'roughed it' in the past. Just how rough is it? It's more the reaction from the locals that I'm interested in. How will they perceive a non-Thai speaking westener?

Is it OK if I go for a wonder round on my own? (please don't insult me with comments along the lines of "they eat stray farangs") It's more that I don't want to scare/annoy/surprise anyone and possibly ruin the trip.

Any tales to tell would be gratefully read.

Go man!! Bet it will be a very enjoyable time, maybe even the time of your life. I had the same feeling many years ago. May I suggest talk to her or some other farangs to get an ideal about the surrounding area(ie nearby hotels, 7/11 etc) Truth me "been there, done that"

[Vegemite]

Things have changed a bit. Try again.

No 7/11s where we were even 20kms away this is this best we could do.

[SanukJoe]

Thank you ten times oven gents. I should pad out details of our relationship as Thai-Visa has its fair share of holiday love losers. I, like you, am not one of them.

We have been together for 4 years, so no! there is no 'husband' waiting in the wings. Just me. I have met her direct family many times. In fact when the kids visit their parents in Bangkok they tend to stay with us. I guess a well stocked fridge, a playstation and a big sofa to play/sleep on is like a trip to Disney land for them. So I am comfortably intergrated into the family. When I upgrade anything the old one is passed or sold (at a nominal fee) to her family. Indeed I have seen pictures of her house and can see my old things in the background.

I am not bothered by the fact I may have to sleep on floors as I have done it in Burma or that I may have to have a cold shower. I am very bothered I will have to spend some time away from all my gadgets (i can hardly recall a life before downloading MP3 files), but I guess it's ok for 3 days.

After your tales I'm sure I can cope with the rusticness of it all. Thanks for that.

My next worry is what is expected of me? In the 4 years I have NEVER been asked for money and my better half knows better than to ask. I have never had a hand out in my life and nor do I think people should. Over Songkran I laid on a good spread on the roof and bought the kids guns etc and everyone had a jolly good time.

I explained to her that culture is a 2 way street and that people who turn up empty handed to a party are not invited back and her brothers and wives turned up with food and drink aswell. Although mine was consumed I liked the gesture. So in short I have the balance here in Bangkok pretty well sorted.

Now, when I find myself in a small village close to the boarders of Cambodia I feel that that I won't know anything.

I understand that it is her time and don't want to screw it up (hence my post) by doing or saying the wrong thing. Will I be expected to pay for everything? Will I be expected to buy her family new stuff? The answer would be NO. However I would be happy to help stock the larder a bit as I am staying there.

So, any pointers on what I am expected to give/offer/leave behind would be great.

Thanks in advance.

Griff

Griff, keep one thing in mind. In Thailand a person who is either having a higher education or in a better financial position is regarded higher standard. If people go out for dinner (example) this person will always pay, without any question, it automatically works like that.

So bearing that in mind it would be nice if you would offer to go out with the family or pay for food and drinks during your stay.

That way you will stick to thai culture and they will be even more proud of you.

Joe

[pumpuiman]

You will love it. Dont hesitate....go and enjoy yourself.

[soihok]

Griffin.

My first trip into Issan was to visit my Mrs at her place with her family ,and as it happens, she was pregnant with our daughter.

As luck would have it ,she went into labour in the hotel we were staying at,really early in the morning.

No taxi so it was the hotel van into the sticks.

I met my father-in-law for the first time at the hospital,,,,he did,nt have much to say.

Birth took all day and the Missus was out for the count , so I was put into a pick up and wisked into the darkness to the families home.

I had only a few words of Thai in my vocab. at the time ,but I did have a small English-Thai dictionary.This proved to be the best thing I could have taken with me(other than money and a smile).

I spent three days in the village ,without a farang in sight ,with mostly smiles and hand guestures ,while the Missus was in the hospital.

These people did,nt know me

I was looked after like a king

Fours years on,I love going there,the communal spirit that we once had,and have (largely)lost in the west, is alive and kicking in Issan.I dont live there ,as I am now working in Singapore for my retirement.

I now have a home where I can say that I am happy to go to(unlike the sad ,depressing North England where I came from).

Hearts of gold and salt of the earth?

Jing Jing

I have no interest in going any where else.

Good Luck

[Griffin]

Vegemite, now I remember why I became a vegetarian in Laos. Nothing like fly carpeted meat to make one love the sight of a vegetable.

SoiHok, your trip makes mine seem like a stroll to the Paragon. I look forward to something less dramatic.

Sanuk Joe, thanks a million mate. I have been to a few of those BBQ places around Bangkok with her brothers and wives and the odd friend of theirs. I was happy to notice it was the same guys that turned up in a truck when we moved house, so I had no problem paying for them. I also noticed when the bill came it was mine and mine alone. Once again I had no problems paying as nobody took the p#ss. They drank Chang and pushed more of the communal whiskey my way than their own.

It seems I have seen a watered down version of their life style. I have no desire to be treated like a king. One of the boys/family will do fine. However, you have shone a light on one thing I didn't understand. When I visited one of her brothers home in Bangkok they had found a chair for me (while they all sat on the floor) and seemed confused when I declined and joined them on the floor. As a working class Englishman I see myself no higher than them or anyone else higher than me.

It seems I am worrying for no reason.

One last thing. I wanted to take my camera equipment with me to capture the moments. Would I be better taking my compact camera? Will the locals be funny if they see me with a SLR camera with all the trimmings? It looks like more than they will earn in a year. I don't want to look like a show off.

I know I am bending your ears but as a poster pointed out it's her time and I am an also ran.

Once again, thanks. I know she loves her family and if I mess this up it will reflect badly on her.

Griffin.

[soihok]

No worries for Photos.

You could go one better and make a video,make a copy for all and everyones happy

The most important thing ,is ...........................to smile.

Have a good time

[SanukJoe]

Vegemite, now I remember why I became a vegetarian in Laos. Nothing like fly carpeted meat to make one love the sight of a vegetable.

SoiHok, your trip makes mine seem like a stroll to the Paragon. I look forward to something less dramatic.

Sanuk Joe, thanks a million mate. I have been to a few of those BBQ places around Bangkok with her brothers and wives and the odd friend of theirs. I was happy to notice it was the same guys that turned up in a truck when we moved house, so I had no problem paying for them. I also noticed when the bill came it was mine and mine alone. Once again I had no problems paying as nobody took the p#ss. They drank Chang and pushed more of the communal whiskey my way than their own.

It seems I have seen a watered down version of their life style. I have no desire to be treated like a king. One of the boys/family will do fine. However, you have shone a light on one thing I didn't understand. When I visited one of her brothers home in Bangkok they had found a chair for me (while they all sat on the floor) and seemed confused when I declined and joined them on the floor. As a working class Englishman I see myself no higher than them or anyone else higher than me.

It seems I am worrying for no reason.

One last thing. I wanted to take my camera equipment with me to capture the moments. Would I be better taking my compact camera? Will the locals be funny if they see me with a SLR camera with all the trimmings? It looks like more than they will earn in a year. I don't want to look like a show off.

I know I am bending your ears but as a poster pointed out it's her time and I am an also ran.

Once again, thanks. I know she loves her family and if I mess this up it will reflect badly on her.

Griffin.

Hi Griffin, I'm glad to have helped you one way or the other. You seem a guy who wants to do what is necessary to make your lady happy, she will reward you with the most love you can get.

As you know I have Sanuk in my name, it's sanuk that makes living in Isaan worthwhile. People smile, make jokes, have fun, give you a good feeling because they are flexible enough to accept a farang who is nice and respects their culture and traditions. The warm welcome I get everytime is not comparable to anything else. I'm sure this is paradise, at least for me...

About camera: I made (without knowing before hand) a big face as I had my expensive digital reflex camera with me. Why? Because I could show the pics immediately, imagine those people seeing their pic just after you took it.... tip!

Take care mate, enjoy your time, I'm sure you will.

Joe

[SanukJoe]

Things have changed a bit. Try again.

No 7/11s where we were even 20kms away this is this best we could do.

Funny enough, in my tiny little village they have all meat covered in plastic or aluminum foil. Very surprising it was to me to see that, as I hate flies on meat....

[Vegemite]

The live baby frogs were in plastic bags if that helps.

[Vegemite]

But the ants eggs came wrapped in a leaf.

[toptuan]

Hey, stop making excuses, and go!

I just came back last night from a New Years visit to a little rice village five kilometers from the nearest paved highway. Think of it as camping (food, cold-water splash-showers, a lot of dirt underfoot)--but with the best, friendliest, and most laid-back group of fellow campers you will ever have an outing with.

If the physical creature-comforts of life are your first priority, you will hate it. If people are your first priority, and you are not self-centered, you will have a wonderful time.

[bina]

took my 19 yr old daughter with me to my wedding in a muu baan in korat:

we brought kids games and stuff (crazy eights cards/pick up sticks etc) and my husband and i ahd prepared her ahead of time about toilet things (the how toos, etc), modesty (no bellyshirts spagettie straps etc) mosquito stuff, she brought her own books, music etc.

she spent almost every evening teaching kids games and having a blast.

my daughter is a veggie, animal rights type non spicy eating very tall strapping young lady/ she was a hit. they made food specially for her, organized a 'real' bed and room with fan at cousin's falang husbands house, hot water shower and we supplied the toilet paper and bottled water

we nudged her in the ribs when we met people she had to wei to, we prepared her for the 22 people in the pickup for trips, the old grannies kneading her arms, the zillions of folks who came to see the farang bride and daughter, etc. neither of us freak out at spiders lizards bugs etc and floors are no problem. she learned to wash her hair every other day as the water splashing showers didnt seem to rinse out her very long very heavy silky hair. and hot shower had zero pressure. one day we ran out of water from the water jugs. another day we went hunting for food (frogs etc). she learned to eat cold fish and rice for breakfast, or chicken/eggs since she eats no other meat products.

lack of space/privacy was a bit difficult but people learned that a closed door means no entry and she learned to get up from the floor, yawn, and 'go to sleep', retreat to her room to get some space.

we decided ahead of time that we would take all close family members and kids to korat zoo on our expense and we would also pitch in with food buying (kanom waan, extra fruits that they dont normally buy, expensive tasty things,)

all in all, a trip to remember, and we did it for a month not three days.......

enjoy

bina

[SanukJoe]

The live baby frogs were in plastic bags if that helps.

I hate to see live animals that way, imcluding civilised western world throwing life lobsters is hot water...

I managed to convince both my mother in law and my wife to kill the fish before putting it on the fire. They do now and admit the taste is the same, not a lot of work and better for the fish

[khunandy]

I first made the journey to my wifes village after knowing her for about 6 months. It is a big deal for the G/F really although if the family are good people your visit should be a happy, eye opening experience.

My wifes family are fairly poor but truely rich in heart

I had to laugh at some previous comments about thin, hard matresses, sitting cross legged for extended periods of time and communal eating with the fingers. As it has been said before, treat it like going camping

Take a fold up camp chair just in case. Any one over 100 kg is not designed to sit cross legged for more than 5 minutes.

I have to say that I loved it all, the only time things got a bit frustrating was the unrelenting introductions and my frustration at not knowing much Thai but this was not a real problem.

My advise is to always have a ready smile, be prepared to share your beer, food etc and be prepared for the family to help themselves to it. I have been going up to the village many times now and can assure you that any kindness you show will be returned many times over.

Show a lot of respect to everyone (of course) and if you can get your hands on a car take time out to have your lady show you around, girlfriends love to show you where they grew up, went to school, swimming holes etc. It is really nice to get away for a few hours and digest it all.

A lot of my farang family members have also been to my wifes village over the last few years and have all raved about it afterwards. I do miss some creature comforts while I am there but the house we are currently building will be decked out to cater for the Farang as well as the Thai.

Gifts: Well I slipped a few people some notes when I left, I also gave the Grandmother a couple of thousand baht towards the rebuilding of the local Temple and that seemed to go down well.

I also took up some cheap woolly blankets that have been mentioned and appreciated many times, if it drops below 28 degrees Thais seem to freeze.

My second visit I added a hot water heater in the out house, a table and chairs downstairs...hmmm we still have that hard, thin matress though.

Mate, jump in with an open mind,both feet and a broad grin..you will love it.

Andy