We are a non-married couple who want to have the right to decide what happens to each other’s body incase of death in Asia. I am a 51 year old UK national and my boyfriend’s Dutch and 60. We spend all year in Asia moving between Thailand, Malaysia and Indonesia. We don’t live in Europe.

 

We are in contact with each other’s families and know they would agree with whatever either of us decides to do with the other’s body [cremation in Asia]. That’s not the problem. The problem is that we need an official document to show the relevant authorities in Asia to show we have a the right to make the decision.

 

We’d appreciate any help with this.

Getting married would be the easiest way; however, a notarized statement to that effect from each other's embassies may do it.

Might have to be in the language and notarized in the foreign country that you'll die in if not married and family member isn't available.

 

Power of Attorney is the best option normally. You would both need to give power of attorney to each other. Apart from dealing with death it would allow you to obtain funds if either of you is hospitalised and is unable to act for themselves.

I included in my Thai will that my Thai heir is to be able to proceed with funeral and burial/cremation without any interference. I contacted my embassy (US) and asked about that and I was told that if it was specified in my Thai will, they would not attempt to interfere. 

Perhaps you better contact UK & Dutch consulate regarding this matter 1st before doing anything else. 

Thanks for all the advice. We'll contact the UK and Dutch embassies to see what they advise.

I think in your case it is probably best you sit down with your Spouse and come up with a Will, and also Power of Attorney, so you are able to handle each others affairs and finances.

 

I think you know, or afraid of at least, that in Asia a Live-in Boyfriend does not have many rights over you,. So it is best to get this done legally first. Of course getting married helps, but both or either of you may have very good reasons not to get married at this time. But this should not stop either of you from getting what you both want. 

Everyone should have three important documents:  A Final Will, where the you can specify who makes the decisions controlling your "final arrangements" about burial, cremation, etc; an Advance Health Directive (aka Living Will) that appoints a Health Care Representative to make decisions about your medical care in the event you are unable to do so and spell out your wishes for treatment if you have a terminal illness, permanent incapacity, etc;  and a Power-of-Attorney that permits another person to access and control your finances if you are unable.  It is possible to specify your wishes for your "Final Arrangements" in your Advance Health Directive.

 

In situations where you have an unmarried life partner, it is imperative that you have these documents in place.  Otherwise, you may find yourself closed out of his/her hospital room at a time when you're most needed, unable to access funds to pay for medical care and not in control of funeral arrangements.  There is no recognition of "life partners" in Thailand.

I am in the process of drawing up a Power of Attorney, Thai will, and Thai Advanced Directive (Living Will). I already have all 3 in the US, these will be specific for my assets within Thailand and health care received in Thailand.

 

If anyone is interested cost of these done by lawyer in both Thai and English with notarization:

 

POA - 7,000 (4,500 if only in Thai)

Simple will - 12,000 (9,500 if only in Thai

Advanced Directive- 12,000 (9,500 if only in Thai)

 

These are the rates for lawyer I will be using, there are others who will charge more

 

It is of course possible to do your own will and file with ampur  saving money but unless fluent in written Thai you'd still have an issue as to accuracy of translation.