Do You Help Support Your Thai Wifes Family?

[Neeranam]

QUOTE(Heng @ 2007-01-06 03:49:21)

QUOTE(Neeranam @ 2007-01-05 15:56:48)

The amount I could give wouldn't affect the family, so no.

QUOTE

I think this all depends on the social class your wife/gf comes from.

I think it depends on the financial difference between the farang man and the Thai family.

Not all farang are richer than their outlaws.

Not all, but most are. Whether the farang is an English teacher or executive at Trane or Shell, his/her local partner is still typically an Issan villager or farmer. As another poster mentioned, it's maybe 1% who will marry a fellow teacher or executive.

I worked as an English teacher for 10 years and many friends married well to do Bangkok women. One married a girl, who lived in Isaarn, whose great-grandfather was the King of Laos. Most of my friends, and I didn't marry anyone from Isarn. It's the older guys who haven't been in Thailand for any length of time that generally marry Isarn girls.

[soic]

I guess I'm lucky. My wife is ummmmm thrifty. She doesn't like to give anything to anyone. We help her Mom and youngest sister, "when they need it". We don't give them a regular stipend, we only give when they have a real need and no other way to meet it. Her's is a very proud family and have never liked asking anyone for anything. When I go home on vacation, I usually give everyone a little bit of spending money, for the kids, I find some minor chore that needs doing and give them money for their work. As for Mama, I just give her some money and tell her thanks for being Mama... The wife documents every penny that comes in, so I'm not too worried about her sneaking money to everyone. We have a terrific family. Wife, Sons, Mama, Sisters and brother.

[Heng]

QUOTE(Heng @ 2007-01-06 03:49:21)

QUOTE(Neeranam @ 2007-01-05 15:56:48)

The amount I could give wouldn't affect the family, so no.

QUOTE

I think this all depends on the social class your wife/gf comes from.

I think it depends on the financial difference between the farang man and the Thai family.

Not all farang are richer than their outlaws.

Not all, but most are. Whether the farang is an English teacher or executive at Trane or Shell, his/her local partner is still typically an Issan villager or farmer. As another poster mentioned, it's maybe 1% who will marry a fellow teacher or executive.

I worked as an English teacher for 10 years and many friends married well to do Bangkok women. One married a girl, who lived in Isaarn, whose great-grandfather was the King of Laos. Most of my friends, and I didn't marry anyone from Isarn. It's the older guys who haven't been in Thailand for any length of time that generally marry Isarn girls.

Yeah, one's results may vary. The majority that I am acquainted with, some friends, some just loosely acquainted, married or 'settled' (long term relationship - no marriage) with the Issarn villager working in the city type. True, other regions are represented as well, north, south... but still typically villagers.

Without being condescending and certainly not meant as an insult, I'd say more than half of these farangs (and more than a few foreigners of non-western origin as well) married then current or former prostitutes. I've seen a couple marry well to do locals as well. I certainly wasn't saying it doesn't happen.

[Johpa]

I worked as an English teacher for 10 years and many friends married well to do Bangkok women. One married a girl, who lived in Isaarn, whose great-grandfather was the King of Laos. Most of my friends, and I didn't marry anyone from Isarn. It's the older guys who haven't been in Thailand for any length of time that generally marry Isarn girls.

I am sorry to see that you have assimilated the typical "well-to-do" Bangkok racist attitude towards Isaan folks. Do your adopted values also hold negative views towards other ethnic Tai people and the indigenous minorities in the Kingdom or only towards Isaan/Lao folks?

But I should note that well-to-do Bangkok folks are likely (90%) to be Thai-Chinese whose culture is almost a polar opposite of traditional Tai culture (patrilineal vs matrilocal).

[Neeranam]

QUOTE(Neeranam @ 2007-01-07 21:15:09)

I worked as an English teacher for 10 years and many friends married well to do Bangkok women. One married a girl, who lived in Isaarn, whose great-grandfather was the King of Laos. Most of my friends, and I didn't marry anyone from Isarn. It's the older guys who haven't been in Thailand for any length of time that generally marry Isarn girls.

I am sorry to see that you have assimilated the typical "well-to-do" Bangkok racist attitude towards Isaan folks. Do your adopted values also hold negative views towards other ethnic Tai people and the indigenous minorities in the Kingdom or only towards Isaan/Lao folks?

But I should note that well-to-do Bangkok folks are likely (90%) to be Thai-Chinese whose culture is almost a polar opposite of traditional Tai culture (patrilineal vs matrilocal).

Nonsense - I live in Isarn and love the people and place.

I can't stand the nouveau riche chinese Bangokonian Thais.

[Heng]

QUOTE(Neeranam @ 2007-01-07 21:15:09)

I worked as an English teacher for 10 years and many friends married well to do Bangkok women. One married a girl, who lived in Isaarn, whose great-grandfather was the King of Laos. Most of my friends, and I didn't marry anyone from Isarn. It's the older guys who haven't been in Thailand for any length of time that generally marry Isarn girls.

I am sorry to see that you have assimilated the typical "well-to-do" Bangkok racist attitude towards Isaan folks. Do your adopted values also hold negative views towards other ethnic Tai people and the indigenous minorities in the Kingdom or only towards Isaan/Lao folks?

But I should note that well-to-do Bangkok folks are likely (90%) to be Thai-Chinese whose culture is almost a polar opposite of traditional Tai culture (patrilineal vs matrilocal).

Nonsense - I live in Isarn and love the people and place.

I can't stand the nouveau riche chinese Bangokonian Thais.

What bothers you most? The nouveau, riche, Chinese, or Bangkokian part? From what I've seen, the nouveau riche in the city are fairly low key... unless you count those in the entertainment industry. They buy homes and cars they can't afford and are usually too busy to bother anyone while plugging away at their debt. If it'll make you feel any better, a good number of the 'nouveaus' will collapse under the weight of their own decadence and debt... leaving most of the same old school Thai Chinese. Surely you don't have a problem with the old money, yes?

What happens when folks in the country become well to do? More often than not it's 'superfly gold rings + chains' time. **Bom-chika-bom-bom**

Edited January 8, 2007 by Heng

[Casanundra]

I bet most of you ignore the beggers on the street too, they aren't there for pleasure, they are there because they have no other means.

I'm sorry but this black and white response is too ignorant not to make a point about it. yes, your point is taken and I agree with you about the genuine beggers out there but not all beggers on the streets are there because they have no other means and I am not only talking about those in Bonking Bangers either.

Did you never read about the Romanian woman in the UK who was arrested several times for earning 250 pounds per week from the social services (aka tax payers money) and then going out onto the street and begging and harassing people left right and centre with her baby in arms.

How about those farangs in Bangkok who are walking around with bill boards asking for contributions towards paying to help them get home and who then go off and grab a Singha beer with the proceeds.

Many of the so called beggers in Bangkok are known to be part of an organised troop who are out there collecting money on behalf of some lazy Thai male somewhere who is using the funds to fund his drink and gambling habits.

Someone on here wrote that the best thing to do is never to give anyone any money and I agree. If they are hungry, then feed them, even better follow the adage of 'giving a man the means to fish so that he can feed his family for a lifetime' but most certainly don't give them any money. Of course this only works if they aren't too lazy to bother making an effort in the first place and many would simply just sell the fishing rod, but you get the idea.

As for my contribution to the wifes family, well I don't do it because I have given the means for the wife to do it herself and by that I mean she is 1 year in to doing an MBA that I am funding so that she can get a better job to help support her family.

Another example, myself and a mate here had an encounter with some scraggy looking kids in the street who were begging for money so we gave them a choice. We said we can buy each of them something to eat or we could give them 20 baht instead. They ALL chose the food and it was their choice and I bet it was made from the fact that had they received the money instead they would have had to give it to their lazy assed parents and would have got nothing for themselves for their efforts.

Most people are not adverse to giving to beggers on the streets but it's a very fine line to being a begger on the street because you have no other choice (i.e. you are physically impaired) to one who is there simply because they are scamming the kind hearted public out of their funds for other means... so please before you come out with black and white statements, at least try and make them balanced ones first.

Edited January 8, 2007 by Casanundra

[thaihome]

I certainly agree with the posters that say they don't send money because it would be wasted. I do wish these same people would acknowledge that not all poor Thai rural families are that dysfunctional. Many are not racked with alcoholism, drugs, and gambling but are just poor and as they are our wives’ families that they care deeply about them.

TH