There are a lot of toxic relationships / marriages based solely on the exchange of money here. I have no problem with that. There are many western women in "kept relationships / marriages" as well.
If one enters into a financial agreement with a Thai lady, that's fine, but they should pay as they go, not buy land, build a house, throw in a bar, shop, or farm, all up front, and expect the Thai lady to then uphold her end of the deal, especially when it's all in her name.
Often, when the Thai lady accepts the financial agreement, and thinks now she got the guy on the hook and start to go to work on him, she can manipulate that agreement and he will bend. As you say, guys don't put their foot down. I suppose it's guys feeling comfortable in the relationship and are too afraid to start again, so, they bend, and it's all downhill from there. So funny to hear the threat, "I'll have to go back and work bar again." I'd be saying, "See ya." ???? A lot of guys don't call their bluff, and even if they were serious and did go back to the bar, what's that say about the relationship or financial agreement you entered into? Neither were real in the first place.
Foreigners can't own land here, but there's some ways to cover yourself. One way is to have the Thai lady take a mortgage out on a property and you pay the bank every month. Paying the loan interest can be looked upon as insurance. The money in your own bank earns some interest, so it's only the difference you are paying. She leaves, you stop paying the mortgage, the bank can have the house back, and both can move on.
The guy you met is correct. It's his house, just not the land it sits on. It's my understanding he would be perfectly entitled to put a bulldozer through it and face no criminal charges.
Another phenomenon that you see in these relationships if when the Thai lady starts to compare the money, assets, or wealth of one of their friends or family's foreign partners. The Thai scammer version of "keeping up with the Jones" and what does the foreigner do, he goes and buys a bigger car, or more expensive gold, or more land etc. The two Thai ladies play the foreigners off on each other for spending on them, because each foreigner doesn't want to be seen as not "taking care" as good as the next guy. Too funny. ????