pattayadingo

I find it difficult to believe that anyone with experience of Pattaya is surprised (or bothered) by any girl that decides to try and improve her income by working in a bar. And it's rather naive to assume that because she's turned to bar work it automatically makes her a "bad" girl.

I'm not surprised. Saddened is a better word.

Yes, I know it happens all the time in Pattaya and other similar places to other women. To me, to have known her before and to hear her now, is sad because it is more personal. I do not like to see someone who could have been a good friend - or maybe more - be sucked into this sort of life.

Sad? I guess so.

Did the bar work change her? maybe.

Can you do anything? Probably not.

Was this post from me helpful? Hard to say.

I suppose he could have looked after her when he had the chance. And then, once she had screwed up the courage and reached the point of desperation to ask him outright, he could still have looked after her. But 10,000 baht a month was more important to him.

I reckon if I stopped sending my wife money every month, she'd be in pretty dire straits, but I don't begrudge it. I see it as my role in life to go out and wrestle mammoths or fill in pointless forms or whatever it is that I do for a living, to feed the clanspeople back home

SC

EDIT: I suppose there's

I refuse to be held to ransom.

There is a difference between a relationship with any woman and helping out than demands being made.

I've been in the village with family ( not her and hers ) on a couple of occasions and helping out. That seems a natural course to take when living with someone, not being told I have to pay.

The OP does not tell us how old the woman was - Let me make a guess at 25 and then make the observation that 25 years of being raised and living life as a good woman does not go down the pan in two months.

I say the OP has had a narrow escape.

Did I not mention mid 30's? 36 as I recall. Her friend in the same bar and from the same village is 42 and she does look 'rough'.

I think its a chronic shame that this young lady could not even work out the situation for herself.

Follows like sheep, subjected to peer pressure... yep thats life.

This woman worked out her situation very well. Don't fall into the trap "they are all vicitims". Western thinking.

There are dozens of Thai cities where you can work in a laundry for 10K or slightly less. But she chose Pattaya, because she knows very well about her options of extra income, which may not be that good in other Thai cities.

But many like to go where they have family and her Aunt having a salon here and a job offer was, I think, and incentive to change jobs. Less hours, more money and family.

I think its a chronic shame that this young lady could not even work out the situation for herself.

Follows like sheep, subjected to peer pressure... yep thats life.

One thing for sure is that she has lost out on a very good man!

You will meet your Mrs Pattayadingo, never accept second best.

As long as I do not have to marry her!!

Why does a girl move to Pattaya to work in a laundry?

Think about that!

Many ladies come to Pattaya to earn big money. They can earn a lot more here in Pattaya than they can back up in Issan. Where do you think the waitresses, shop girls, laundry ladies come from? Not all come to get involved in the P2P industry. My wife was ill and at her wits end when she came to Pattaya at the invitation her cousins. She worked with them in a very respectable bar/restaurant, rooming house and with tips was earning over 10K per month. She was able to send home more to her father who cared for her two children than she earned in Buriram.

At the moment my wife's daughter, husband and small child are staying with us. Their crops have been planted in the fields in Petchabun and most days they would have sat around watching them grow as there was no alternative work that they could find. Now she works as a waitress and is pulling 10K plus per month and her husband is delivering 50kg bags of rice and earning 9k with the occasional tip. Eventually they will have enough banked to complete the building of their little dream house and return home. Meanwhile the family will help out at harvest time so that the couple can continue to gather in their golden harvest.

Look around and I think that you will find that there are more ladies making their way through life without selling themselves than scraggy tarts working in bars and gogos.

Great post. A lot of truth and reality in that too, especially the extra money they can earn here, even in restaurants. Money that helps parents and helps their children through school.

I'm shocked you think it's worthy of comment PD, she must have meant something to you.

Pattaya is a trap, most village girls turn up either oblivious or naïve. Even if their friends told them that 'come here, sleep with farang, make big money', it wouldn't have a clue about the casual brutality of the place.

That documentary thread, Girlfriend For Sale,see youtube, that re-emerged here a couple of months ago covered it well, with the single mother asking how much more difficult can it be to sleep with a farang, as she had had Thai boyfriends before. She didn't last long when she saw the reality.

Bit by bit, step by step, the girls get drawn in.

Anyway, sorry to hear that a lady you held a candle for has let you down. Another one bites the dust.

Shame.

Yes, Pattaya is a trap. I recall seeing a documentary in the UK about a girl who set off to London and became wrapped up in the bright lights and prostitution. In many ways maybe not so different here.

What I did like was her village attitude. Naive at the world we know and we can understand. I did feel for her a lot and would have gone up north to visit her and seen where it went. The thought did enter my mind that I might also like to get back to village life here. Sometimes I miss that laid back way of life.

As you say, another one bites the dust and all too often.

Why does a girl move to Pattaya to work in a laundry?

Think about that!

She was near family with a job offer and tired of what she had been doing previously. Working 12 hours a day + commuting time made long days previously.

The story you write OP has probably been used by many a Thai girl when they think they have a chance of netting a farang with different twists to each tale told, maybe it's not the case in your tale about J or maybe it is with the help of her aunt and freinds telling her what to say.

But I would say that Pattaya has really changed over the years and girls are getting very clever at their story telling tecniques, maybe some ones set up a school to teach the new arrivals on how to net and earn an income from farang.

Only thing I try to do is not tar em all with the same brush, and not sterotype em but when a place like Pattaya has the image it has then sometimes it's hard for some people not to think that their just out to con them.

Just my opinion.

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Her Aunt does not know what she is now doing. At one point on the phone, I mentioned her Aunt because I thought she might be staying there again and as it is close by I would have popped round. J was not happy that I might see and talk to her Aunt and give the Aunt an idea of what J is doing.

I agree there are many stories and as many twists to those tales here in Pattaya. I to hear many of them, but I did get to know her quite well before she went home to tend her mother and feel this was not a story.

Still at the end of the day it will seem like just another girl gone bad story and trying to screw us out of our money. Yet I feel things might have been different if the laundry she previously worked at had not shut down or if I'd been around to maybe help her out while she got a job. Now we will never know.

Nothing has changed the 'good woman'. She was always like that, you just didn't realize.

I do not think it was the 2 months working in a bar that changed the woman, it just brought out what was contolled/hidden or unseen by you.

I doubt that she was like this before hand. Having met some of her family they seemed decent hard working people. I feel I got to know her quite well. She had manners. I feel that her situation changed her and her beliefs have been altered by contact with others.

It is a gut feeling she really wanted out of the bar and when I refused what she was told she could financially get from a farang, she was shocked and surprised when I said no.

But, each to their own train of thought.

I too am not a big fan of women with tattoos, especially when they are on show all the time as on the breasts, arms or legs.

The odd discreet and well done tattoo is no problem.

Reminds me of the nose rings or studs some wear, They look terrible, yet a stud in the belly button can be quite sexy.

The gospel according to Tommo

Comments like this about me is a little bit sad, if you don't agree with my POV, why not post your own, much more productive.

I would also like to point out the behaviour you are exhibiting towards me is called stalking, and against forum rules, please refrain from doing it. If you don't like my posts I would suggest adding me to your IGNORE list.

Stalking , on a serious note you can always use the report button.

As for the OP, the problem i have with your POV's are that they are so outdated. You and a few others on here really do need to understand there are many of us here in normal, loving relationships, where both contribute to household chores etc. You seem to think because i do my own ironing or cook a dinner my SO now has no respect for me.

For the OP much has been said and it does seem that the relationship has run it's course. I would leave and try to arrange some sort of on-going contact with his step-daughter.

I agree with Bangkokhatter here. Nothing wrong at all with cooking, cleaning and ironing etc.

If a man is at home all day while the SO is out working why not do it yourself or at least help with the chores. It does not make you less of a man to do so.

And there is the added bonus that if your SO is out at work she is not getting under your feet or sleeping all day.

Every Thai knows the reason dogs howl. It is the presence of spirits . Start with mitigating the spirit presence and the dogs will calm down.

This valuable information was passed to me from a reliable source - My Thai mother-in-law, who,incidentally, has refused my apparently "stupid" idea of relocating the family bathroom to the rear of the property for easier family access because, in her words, "can you imagine how much the water bill will increase because of the extra water we will use?"

You have to love them for their logic. Brilliant

I now use change booths all the time and I am getting a good rate with no 150 Baht fee. Credit card, passport and address needed.

In fact the other day the listed rate at the booth was 48.61 and I was actually given 48.7 when I checked my on-line statement.

As an aside I now use Halifax Clarity CC because there are no charges for withdrawing money abroad. I'm quids in all round now.

This does sound good. Could be a lot better with some extra information on times, timetables, places they start from and stop at, visa info. air con buses etc.

I generally tend to find out about the woman I am with at the time, though I'm not that bothered about some specifics.

Only really had one woman who lied through her back teeth but it was easy to know because Thai people do not seem to have the memory to remain good and convincing liars.

Depending where you meet the woman, if you see her family and her friends can give you some good indicators about her.

Liars the world over find it hard to remember past stories they have told.

I tend to ask women the same questions in a few different ways over time and see if I get consistent answers. At least I know where I stand and what I can believe that way.

And with some time between the questions gives the time to forget what they said originally. That always helps me too. All the better to know who you are dealing with. Correct answers gives you more confidence too.

as I described in another thread I went to the market with my 9 y.o. niece this afternoon and it was grand...we got some ice cream and per usual she unwrapped it and offered me the first bite...she doesn't realise how much I love her and that doesn't hurt...

the 15 y.o. niece just came in and wanted 40 baht for some khanom and she is getting big (the two nieces have been living with us for a long time) and I looked at her backside and her nice hair and wondered: 'will she stay in school or will she run off?' but she is a serious girl and I have confidence and do not expect to be disappointed...

and then the 2 y.o. nephew Phed (who I call 'Bubba' as he is a terror) comes toddling up and wants to be picked up and then his mum comes to attend and gives me look: 'I know that I am 40 years younger but if this was a different life, then etc, etc...' so that I am revealed as a still vital man even though I haven't had sex in 6 years...

simple pleasures...

Simple pleasures.... Yeah. They can be so good

Maybe that is what some people here are missing out on.

Sitting outside on several nights in the village with a beer in hand, some family members there too and watching the moon rise over the coconut trees. The children playing on the new patio instead of the mud and soil, their laughter and their happiness. Then seeing my first fireflies dancing around in the bushes. That was great too.

Maybe some need to stop raging against the world and see those simple pleasures

I generally tend to find out about the woman I am with at the time, though I'm not that bothered about some specifics.

Only really had one woman who lied through her back teeth but it was easy to know because Thai people do not seem to have the memory to remain good and convincing liars.

Depending where you meet the woman, if you see her family and her friends can give you some good indicators about her.

But if some people who are inclined to order others about and put them under the thumb, up to them. I'd rather talk and understand first and then if all else fails, leave the relationship.

I didn't suggest ordering anyone around, but if I did, I would suggest you took some comprehension lessons.

You need to learn to quote more text instead of part of the text to get fuller comprehension of the posts, not just picking out the bits that suit you.

Ice in Chang for me but not in the other beers.

I think idiots sending large sums of money to women in Thailand is often a figure plucked out of the air to make other women jealous. But certainly not all. And I think much of it has to do with location / employment. By that I mean places like Pattaya / Phuket and BG's.

A bunch of guys I know in Pattaya give between 10K and 24K per month for exclusive rights and for the woman to live in full time. The cheapest of these women is a woman from Chiang Rai at 10K a month and she is the only one who has never worked in a bar. The others are all 'ex' go-go girls. And that tells me a lot.

I think that many really beautiful women from go-go bars do get a lot of money in the high season from holidaymakers who throw money around like confetti. Recently I was in a bar on Soi Khao Talo (Pattaya) where a holiday maker on the last night here in Thailand gave each of the staff a 1,000 Baht note. That alone cost him about 15K Baht. Total waste of money in my eyes but it must have been good for his ego.

For me, I'd rather head back North again and live the village life I used to lead with women about who would never dream of being anywhere near a go-go bar or work in place like Pattaya and Phuket and leave this financial bickering behind.

I love making love to a woman. Sex is, well, it is sex.

I'd better be careful it could be pornographic, let me just say I love it when a woman really climaxes several times.

I am a rockin n rollin 57 and feel like 40 most of the time.

Bring it on and keep bringing it on !!!

26, tall, blond and velly hansum

I'd better not tell that mirror joke I heard yesterday