1. Finish your dump.
2. Grasp bum gun with your right hand, by the handle, edge yourself to front of your dump bowl.
3. Pointing the gun at your burnt plum at about 2 CMs, (Be careful not to press trigger early of all hell breaks loose) squeeze the trigger slowly, (Pressure warning), and allow water to wash your bum., using your left hand , 2 fingers, to gently caress your said burnt plum, (do not take too much pleasure or time doing this), only long enough to clean your butt.
4. When happy all your dump is now down the pan, use some tissue to pat your arse dry. Throw the tissue in the receptacle - not down the pan. If there is no tissue, your kecks will dry it for you when you hoist your trousers.
5. Redress, flush the toilet, wash your hands - and walk away, happy in your new-found achievement.
Job done!