Andrew Dwyer

This story, spurred on by the recent posts, is not a joke as such just a funny true story that happened to me:

About 15 years ago I was feeling bouts of discomfort in my back and stomach ( was difficult to locate ) turns out it was a gall bladder stone which was later found by ultrasound and removed by surgery .

Prior to this my local doctor requested a urine and stool sample, gave me two small sample bottles. Never having given a stool sample I had to ask how I was supposed to get the “ sample “ in the bottle ??
His reply, “ shit on some newspaper and take some with a lollipop stick “ !!
On returning home I duly filled the urine sample bottle but wasn’t feeling the urge for “ number 2 “ !
My ex wife came to the rescue with an enema ( the small glycerin torpedo type bought from the pharmacy ).
Never having used one I duly inserted it and waited the required 10 to 15 minutes !!
I had already discounted the newspaper idea as primitive and resorted to perching on the loo holding a piece of kitchen roll flat in my hand under my backside .
Picture the scene, or maybe you shouldn’t [emoji23]

Anyway, I had underestimated the power of the enema and it literally cleared me out so much that I struggled to retain the “ sample “ on the kitchen roll !!
Luckily I didn’t have any overflow and managed to catch the whole thing, the liquid in the enema had caused a watery but solid substance reminiscent of my grandmothers rice pudding ( only brown ! ) and anyone who has had concrete delivered in Thailand will know the type I mean.

The lollipop stick and sample bottle were at the ready but unfortunately I had forgotten to remove the lid of the bottle.

Soo, I had to call the ex in to remove the lid of the bottle while I stood there proudly with no pants on and a “ cow pie “ in one hand.
She burst into uncontrollable laughter which set me off too [emoji23] and I laughed so much that I struggled to retain the 5 pounder on my outstretched hand , the whole situation was surreal yet for some reason incredibly funny !!

I guess you had to be there !!

By that age they're set in their ways.

He can be forgiven as he was just a baby.



But 18 years later seems like he hasn’t evolved much !!

If you’re having a bad day?
Imagine how this lady is feeling !!

Yeah but in U.S. culture people talk about it openly. It's definitely a thing on people's minds. Not sure if that's the case here (or in China). 

Wat Krasai, Ayutthaya.
Popular with the dogs [emoji51]

This sucks.....I guess I will have to leave the Krispy Kreme donuts and the 44 Magnum at home now...

Yes not tarred with the same brush.
 
thailand is not the same. The south, north, north east and central have different language, different food, different life, different people, different crops, different business.
 
In the south we have a lot of Burma people, lot of Islam, lot of Chinese thai, and thai people. Everybody friendly and polite. Respect each other.
 
The very south have a lot the problem. Religion and land. Terrible.
 
Bangkok people are city people, fashion, live in the pollution and a little bit chuby because indoor life. Have good education, and mix people from everywhere in Thailand to work.
 
The north east/ issan. They have good food(sap) good music (morlam sing), a lot is hard working. Very friendly.
 But is primitive people. They eat insect, toads, sometime eat the dog (sakon Nakorn). There have the language, but never have the alphabet, no writing, so they use the Thai one. Most of the older people can not read and there teeth and health not so good. The get liver fluke from the food. They don’t care about education so much.
Many farang marry there, and expectation too much, so have the problem. And think all thai is like issan/Lao people.
Also they have the Yaba and laokao wiskey problem a lot.
 
South issan, Buriram, surin, Sri saket, and Udom is also different, lot of lao/kmer hybrid, Cambodia, and tribe like the Thai Suay. Also primitive.
 
The north people have a lot of different people. The Thai people and the mountain people, Tai Yai, Akha, Lahu, Hmong, Yao, Lisu and the other one. Friendly people also. Good food also.
 
Thailand not the same....so many ways.
Not tarred with the same brush.

As I mentioned in an earlier post my Mrs went up there while I was still in me scratcher sleeping the sleep of the innocent [emoji846] But yep, I can't remember how many steps to get up there 400 comes to mind, but I told the Mrs no way was I going up there,on our travels down south we did find another temple perched on top of a mountain with well over a 1000 steps to get up there, Air Ambulance would be required for me LOL - I'll see if I can find a picture of it, I have one somewhere [emoji846]