I'm concerned about your mental health.
Your comment is alarming, sadly, it's something I hear from time to time.
Maybe you should discuss your situation with your wife and not this group, if she's educated it's a good chance she will understand your concerns and be more compassionate and understanding, it's about your needs and wants not here childish thoughts.
In the past I've discussed this situation with my mates, turn the tap off I say, see their reaction once the funds aren't there, be selfish, they need to be educated.
Good luck, hoping your Jatz Crackers stay in tact and don't become duck food.