fredwiggy

No, it's saying there are also others who look at relationships as transactional because that's all they've ever had. I made bad choices in partners and admit this, because I went too fast without getting to know them better. Some look at women as those who are all only out for whatever they can get. Women sometimes look at men this way also. This doesn't mean they are narcissists. It means that's all they've experienced so far. Everyone has some minor narcissistic tendencies. Some have a narcissists personality they were taught as children. Some very attractive women end up with criminals because of wrong thinking. They think the bad boy is a catch because he's exciting, not understanding it's dangerous. They might have had dull, boring relationships not thinking it might have been them that was the boring one, not knowing how to initiate things which could add excitement, and blamed it on others. I agree that many look at relationships as transactional, especially in poor countries or areas. You said 99% are transactional. I think it's a lot less than that, especially in countries with more independent women. Here, it's a lot more. I don't think with a cockeyed Christian morality. I see things how they are.

I already have been here 68 years and know full well what women do. A woman will love and nurture you if you in reality do the same for her. Ignoring them, expecting them to act a certain way because they're women doesn't see them as people but as slaves to do your bidding. If you haven't learned how to listen to a woman, they will turn away from you, thinking you don't understand them or really don't care. A smart woman who was treated with love by her dad knows how to give and receive love. A smart woman also knows her children will only be in the house for about 18 years, and then it's just you and her. If she neglects you, or you neglect her, what's left of the relationship? Kids cannot fill all of a woman's needs. They take more than give, are selfish and demanding, and are there temporarily. The most important people in a family are the wife and husband to each other. You put kids first, the relationship loses. This doesn't mean you neglect them but more should be given to the partners, as the children also benefit from seeing the love between their mom and dad. You meet the kids needs, but also the partners, as they came first and will be there last. You neglect your wife, of course she will turn away from you and put all her attention on those kids.

Taking time to know a person in all aspects is always the best course of action. I fell in love fast a couple of times and it burned me, as attraction overcame the red flags I saw. You don't have to test them but just keep your eyes open, as people will always show their true selves in time. It can take up to a year to see how a person reacts and acts in all situations, and sometimes more. all depending on how much time you spend together.

Who called you a narcissist? You referred to me as one, when I'm the opposite. I know exactly how a narcissist operates, and where they come from, as I've been the victim of a few, especially here with my ex. Narcissists don't always shed relationships. Some stay with their partners because they give them what they need, especially finances, sex and a house to live in. This doesn't stop them from cheating or degrading. The difference between a narcissist and a normal person is the narcissist will always look at their partner as a thing to use, and maybe discard when they find "better". A normal person looks at their partner as exactly that. Not to use but to cherish and do whatever they can for to make them comfortable with them. I'm sure most relationships here between foreigners and local women start off with the woman thinking their man will take better care of them than the local men here do, which is partly true but not always. Greed drives the women here, here and in other poor countries, especially ones where the men aren't held accountable for the children they help create. One woman hears what the farang husband does for her friend, and she wants the same, so the fantasy grows. That still doesn't take away from the fact these women are still women, with needs, desires and wants. Attraction can still be there, although the first thing in many minds is still that money they might receive. I think it all depends on how old a woman is, and if she's in her lat 30's or older, she might now be looking for companionship more than financial gain, especially if she has her own money. Again, yes, I think most relationships here between us and them start out as the financial kind, and then could grow into something more "normal", where the more important things are companionship, care and love. In other countries where women are more independent, they look more for someone to treat them with respect and loyalty, less so financial, but I think most women still want to be taken care of. Mutual respect, love, a sense of comfort, and loyalty are still the most important things a woman needs, and when they want these things, it isn't a transaction if he also does. There are millions of women and men in the world who would love to have someone to grow old with, as partners and not looking for what they can get out of the deal. Going into a relationship looking at it as a transaction is wrong. People aren't object to use or gain from. Some want companionship more than anything else.

I'm thinking he said the same thing.

I actually stick up for women when they need it. If she's cheating on her husband, he needs to find another and not settle things with this kind of violence. What would you do if you found your wife cheating? Buy him a beer?

Not being man enough? How would you know it was his fault she was seeing (maybe) another man? Maybe she was the problem, and he didn't like what was going on. No reason to kill, just kick her ass out the door and find another that isn't trash. In any event, now he'll be in jail and his wife will continue her behavior with another.

Are you drinking those protein shakes along with other meals? That might be too many calories, as CharlieH suggested. You can use water and protein mix, or low sugar soymilk. Don't use fruit juice. As far as the coffee, don't use 3 in 1. Sugar and creamer extra calories, empty, you don't need. If you order coffee out, get black and ask for a tad of soymilk and bring Splenda, Stevia or Equal with you to add for sweetener., as most Thai coffee shops won't carry these, besides a few having Equal. This is what I do when out and about. Ice coffee, 2 Splenda, Stevia or Equal, and a tad of soymilk, keeping the calories to almost none.

The chances are slim of course, which is why there are so many divorces. Of course everyone wants something in return but you don't go into the relationship thinking like that. Your needs will be met if you meet theirs. A normal partner wants what's best for the other. If they don't meet your needs, you can leave, but most people who understand their role in a loving relationship know they will get same in return if you're always giving. I always do more than what I see and hear what other men do for exactly this reason. I know the complaints I've always heard from women, in personal life, other's I know , and by reading continuously on the subject, and I've learned and tried, not to repeat those mistakes so my woman is happy. Granted, some are takers, greedy or damaged from childhood, and they might never be satisfied, and will hold back love because of it. But if you give your all, and more, you should get what you need. From what I've seen and heard, most women will never find a man that really loves them unconditionally, and many expect women to be slaves or mothers to them, and that will never work, or if it does, the woman will not be as happy as she should be.

I live here, and see what's going on, and yes, many times they'll have more scooters in the family. Some might only have one or two, and not able to use one indefinitely. But this is where a larger fine works better. And if caught driving while suspended or revoked, because of driving without a license or insurance, the fines go up, and another scooter is impounded. This happens if the police are using computers and actually enforcing laws, which this is all about anyway.

No, just a fact. Two kinds of relationships. Transactional and an actual loving, caring relationship based on nurturing because you want to, and not because there's something in it for you. A relationship should always start, and end up, with one doing what they can for the other, with no expectations in return, but your needs will be met if both do their part. If you knew the definition of narcissism, you would understand what I do here.

Narcissists are the ones that look at relationships as transactional. There are many that look for trust, companionship, care, shared times and a future together as partners and not someone to use or gain from. If yours were all transactional, maybe you should look inward and ask yourself why. This person summed it up rather well................Transactional relationships are those that are focused on exchanging something of value, such as money, goods, services, or information. They are often short-term, impersonal, and goal-oriented. Relational means you are willing to be patient for a longer-term mutual benefit and it is okay if you don't get the full return in the short-term.

Why send him to the Philippines when there are thousands of older women here who would love to have a man, with money, to take care of him? All he needs to do is leave Pattaya and travel Isaan or another large city outside of tourist areas.

Actually when they were younger, they attracted boys, as men shouldn't be interested in teenagers. In their 20's and beyond, is where they should be attracting men, although the problem with that is that most aren't going to stay long after they've gotten sex. That's when a woman learns the ways of most men, which makes them angry.

I know. Okay. Yes.

As would a 1000 baht fine. You don't take their scooters away unless they are driving drunk, operating without a license, insurance or not of age. Then until they get insurance proof, a license and are of age you hold their scooters in impoundment. But the problem there, if you punished everyone that was driving like that, the storage place would be the size of the Superdome. Just like in the US, you have a record of their driving, on a central computer, so they can check their records and see if they're suspended or revoked. of course this would take desire, which isn't something they have because they really don't care.

I didn't assume anything . I didn't say what was most popular here. I see it daily on the TV at my girlfriends house. Much of what Thais listen to is western pop style. If it weren't, all they would have is traditional Thai music. Where do you think most of the dance music they like comes from? Adopted from western style. Look also at the rock concerts. The guitar players have practiced using western tabs.

Not a pride of ownership. Just the freedom to listen to anything I like whenever I go for a drive.

I burn music almost daily. Many of those cd's are burned copies in sleeves. Just like being old school.

I'm not a redneck, so that leaves out Duck Dynasty. La Scala would be a nice night out. So would the opera, a jazz festival, watching Mark Knopfler in concert, Woodstock (I was 13, so missed that one), and Enya on TV. I also understand sarcasm, as I've heard it all my life.

CD's are fun, especially the ones with picture and info. And uploading all of my music would take months from my life. It's easier just to go to my collection, in alphabetical order, and listen to whatever I prefer for that day, and bring the cd's in a box.

True, but if you fine locals, who are doing the majority of the bad driving here, you take money away from those that don't have much, and that's the best deterrent. Taking away their scooters would also work as a lesson. Walking isn't fun, especially if you live in the country.

I don't understand how they correlate. I love music, always have, many styles, and collect the best of those. I can go to my collection and take a box of cd's I'd like to hear while driving somewhere, which is the main place where I listen to them. I do also collect Dvd's, fishing equipment and hunting gear for the same reason. Part time entertainment.

If you stopped assuming you know what others do, you would be taken more seriously. I'm not a bar person, as I'd rather drink socially with my girlfriend and some of her friends. This is Thailand, and of course you're going to hear more Thai music than western, but much of Thai music is stolen from western styles. Much of Thai music doesn't flow smoothly with the lyrics like western music does. You'd have to really understand music and know what talent is to get this. Thais love western pop and rock music, and this is where a majority of their style comes from, although it doesn't sound anywhere as good as the western variety. Thai music, meaning traditional, sounds good, as the lyrics match the music and playing style. You may or may not understand this, as I don't know how much you know about music and what's good or not.

I'm referring to cultures, and not weirdness in society. Most anything is accepted in today's society and that's hardly a good thing. Many people thought Hitler was an okay person, because he had some good ideas, but the real person eventually came out. The same with Pol Pot, Putin, Stalin, Trump, Kim and others.