Chris Daley

First stop the Thai embassy then straight back home. Nothing else to do in Laos.

It means they want your money.

After the usual fake ajarn + fake science combo on the news and women's daytime shows (because women are the most naive of the population) has anyone else had a constant battle trying to keep the house cool? I have to admit seeing the immigration officers sweating at cheang wattana made me smile. They have turned off the aircon to the entire building. But at home it is getting annoying. We now have a new rule at night "do not put aircon below 27 cuz it will bomb". As for downstairs she won't let me turn it on. Fans only. The slime at work wack it up to 29 and low fan. Some classrooms turn off the aircon and open the door. The heat is unbarable. I feel dizzy when teaching and I am visably sweating. How about you? Do you think women that turn aircons off should wear blue hats? So we can spot them and avoid them?

Measuring men with a tape measure and looking at the wig to work out if they should national service. Hilliarious. Get a hair cut.

First mission: clean drinking water.

Poverty doesn't exsist. We have cured it already with the abundance of natural resources at our finger tips. Not to mention the trillions of dollars that the government sits on. The poverty that remains is created on purpose. Sorry smiley your run hasn't made a difference.

Don't stop at the watch get his shoes as well.

Tip every Seven Eleven into a dumpster and fill the shelves with salads. The population's life expectancy will increase by 50 years.

So if there is a war I'm going to prision and ladyboys go to play dressup and look at their titles. Sounds a tad unfair. Why do we assume a man has the mental strength to endure prision.

10 hours of spoken propaganda and a random jazz instrumental. Got to love Thai radio.

And on your left is a pile of trash.

I sure do. 100 drinks hot or cold. Sweetness level. And a full coffee menu + shots all for 30 baht. Large cup as well. Not to mention the points system is generous. You can get points by adding your phone number after ordering. But it is optional. Just the thought that all those clueless overpriced cafes and lazy chayen shops are going out of business makes me sleep with a smile on my face. How about you? Taobin with its clean, fast and correct orders or Thai street vendors with the smell of urine, clueless staff and overpriced menus?

Do you think AI could manage it? Could it manage ''You teach English why you don speak Thai!?'' One AI could sure replace a lot of human garbage. And imagine how much money it would save the tax payer.

On the walls and partitions you will see a QR code. It is written entirely in Thai and in size 8 font. But I can read it and it said 'review the officer'. I spent 6 hours waiting at 3 desks while two of the desks had no one behind them, the air con for the entire building has been turned off, and the car park is now a scrap yard. So no wonder they clearly don't want foreigners to be able to read it.

I will stay until the girlfriend leaves me. After that I will go back home for a while to cut all ties. Because I don't want them to keep tapping me for money. "You said you would pay for the water purifier remember." "My sisters cousin' baby needs a new school uniform". I will go home and take a rest. Then come back at a later date.

To be born British is to win first prize in the lottery of life. So of course we have one of the best police forces in the world. From the friendly face in town to the specially trained armed response units. We have it all. Thai police are just cute.

Enjoy your unclean drinking water.

Girlfriend wants to move the bed away from the air con due to Feng Shui. Let me add to the lowbirth rates and castrate myself.

I blame Shakespeare. Nasty little plays full of murder, lust and revenge. Play more video games instead.

Sometimes when people mess with air con setting flicking it to 29 and low they end up dead. Justifiable homicide?

A failed rape is still a rape. And he even admits to paying them. Haha. This guy just ended his own case.

What a hair raising experience.

Covered in blood, on cctv and saying he did it. Police are still working around the clock to find the killer.

So you have been arrested for thought crimes. You said "I ain't wearing this mask in me own home." The emergency broadcast pops up on your phone and demands that you stay where you are and do not move. A few minutes later there is a knock at the door. Before you know it you are being dragged into a torture room. How do you escape? Give in? Wait a while then give in so as not to look too cocky? As long as you can last? Or last it out until the end? Could be years. If you admit to their demands you might get off with 10 years of hard labour. Who knows you might be released. After all it was a just a minor slip up. You didn't wear the mask.

Sorry Chalang criminals forgoe their rights to privacy. Freedom of Speech can not be silenced by your money.