steven100

just get on the piss every day until your drunk and shag all ya can ......

that's gotta be a dream retirement !!

' a famous private school ' & ' a cheap hotel ' hmmmmmmm .... RIP.

Anything that is older than few years look like shiiite in this country !

and how old are you .... ????

Sounds like someone left the gate open and the horse bolted.

Your fault .... don't blame anyone else ! you should have managed things better if you wanted assurance that this wouldn't happen.

Anyway, sell the mongrels for 4,000 baht each at the market and then get on the piss ....

problem solved !!

Thai gold is the only gift she will accept as mentioned it's a form of cash if ever needed.

The house would be for her mama & papa.

You may build your house anytime after that.

The gold is for her mama & papa, not included as sin sod. ( however, sin sod may not be needed if you build them a house ) ( advise them that if you build them a house you cannot provide sin sod. They will be happy with that.

Was it an attempted burglary ? or was there another reason behind the baiting.

The story appears strange to me ... more to this me thinks !

sounds like there was a lack of planning on your part.

Also , you have been in touch with the ministry of education & your meeting with an attorney .....

Do you think the attorney's costs will be free of charge ?

Why waste more time and money .... didn't you do enough of that already !!

Why not move on .... better planning next time .

They want you to verify that your legitimately married and it's not a fake set up.

You need to provide some photos in the bedroom .... maybe the bed and bathroom ....

This is to show your togetherness ......

Wow, thanks for so many comments, stories and all the advice. It's good to get a broad spectrum of views, so thanks for taking the time. Because my original question was about the "how" of getting married, apologies to those who prefer to discuss the "if" for the lack of background information that might help such a discussion.

This morning I found out that she prefers platinum to gold, and later in in the day I talked to her at length on the subject of marriage and money. When I said that paying for a wedding would be a problem, she said she was not surprised. She said that if we get married legally, then she still wants a wedding party, but only two people need to be there.

So about the sin sod amount; to be fair, I was on a fishing expedition when she mentioned about this, and it's not that falang "should" pay more, just that she believes they do. She might not really know, and if anyone were to guess, they might assume falang pay more. It would be my guess too.

So how much sin sod does she want? Well, it's not that she wants a large amount, but she doesn't want a small amount. Isn't that the same thing? Not exactly. She doesn't want me to spend too much money and have a problem; but as other people have suggested on here, you don't have a small sin sod. It's actually better to have no wedding and no sin sod, than to have a wedding with a stingy sin sod (this is my interpretation, not her words).

@Apiwan2 that is a good point, I do need to meet her friends and family still, and maybe should change my plan in order to do that first, even if only by a few months.

@BKK And Maui - thank you for what you said, "If you make it about money .... they make it about money."

My friends have observed in the past that I'm far too generous with money, especially when it comes to the ladies. So even though my girlfriend has never asked me to spend money on her, I've been quick to do so anyway.

So I'm definitely taking this on board, not because I'm worried about losing some cash for a few years, but because I want to do what's best for a healthy relationship.

@Ian Curtis good point, but no she hasn't been married before.

@Greg Nixon thanks for a really helpful and detailed reply. I never thought of doing it in a temple, so it's almost like a private ceremony without many guests? Do most temples have this?

Sorry that you are unable to have a legal wedding for now, and I hope that will be possible in future for you. For us, we should be able to have this, and it will be necessary if she comes to live here.

I do think ongoing support for the parents might be a better avenue than a lump sum; I've already read much about the Thai culture of supporting the parents, so even though I had a very stern conversation with her at the start about not wanting to send much money back to Thailand, in reality I don't mind doing this.

We have discussed family life, children, work and the climate (she likes cold weather), and we want the same things. I completely agree with the need for communication; I did like the idea of a surprise, but we can talk easily about anything together and it's proving necessary in this case, even though every conversation needs to prefaced with a strong disclaimer that I'm only thinking about possibilities for now! I'm careful to not promise marriage.

@Grauwulf thanks for the good advice; as I say above, I have probably been too generous with money, and the cost of that is information: strip away the money and see if she still loves me. I've been to Thailand before and had the bar girl experience, so I know what that's like! I'm satisfied that my girlfriend is in a genuine office job and far away from that scene.

Yes, I am sending her money every month. A fixed amount equal to 3.6% of my monthly pay packet (after tax). This was entirely initiated by me; I didn't want to live in total comfort when she can't even afford AC (now she has AC, which will save me booking a hotel when I'm staying with her). I made it clear that she must be careful with the money because there's no asking for more. So far she's not asked for a single Baht.

@snowyy73 sorry to hear about your divorce. I wonder if you now know of any way to prevent this, i.e. a pre-nup, are those enforceable in Thailand?

@SilverBeast interesting story, so basically the money that wedding guests leave can effectively pay for a wedding? Or at least mitigate the cost drastically?

@mikecat thanks, I think the idea of coming over to Thailand for a while is very valid and something I hadn't thought of. I suspect the difference in earnings would be more costly than a wedding however.

@Patsycat and @stgrhe thanks for the points about ring size as I have only a rough measurement. I've had platinum resized before but I definitely need to ask that specific question of any jeweller if I go down this road. My issue with buying a ring will be, if I say "no flashy wedding", then it's pointless to splash out on a big diamond.

PS. sorry for the quoting style, but there were so many posts to quote. Thanks again!

' My friends have observed in the past that I'm far too generous with money, especially when it comes to the ladies. '

so let me get this right ... you give her 3.6% of your monthly salary , so if you are getting say conservatively $5k a month that works out to about 5,670 baht / mth ..... or 1,308 baht per week ...

not exactly the big spender are you.

What about the house ? she will want the house soon enough .... do you have the 2,000,000 for that ?

and what about the gold for mama & papa ? do you have the 200k for that ?

You only mentioned the wedding and the wedding party ' She said that if we get married legally, then she still wants a wedding party, but only two people need to be there. ' ....

wow ... that's going to cost you around 800 baht .... that's for a coke and chicken & rice each.

I was going to come to the wedding party but you may not have enough in your budget !!!

Anyway , good luck but just don't spend to much on her .... but I can see you won't ..

This will be the khee niao

.wedding of the year !!

another .. I have a friend ..

Welcome to Thailand ......

It appears the most favourable solution would be to move. ... that would be my choice.

How many times has this question been addressed .......

Bank TT ( telegraphic transfer )

It will be the cheapest and most convenient way.

Immigration are not interested in your personal affairs.

Seek a lawyer is where you start.

could be a quacky type of duck but without getting a bit of a peking at them it's difficult to say.

maybe you're not paying them enough and they don't like the job .....

TheThais are thrashing about figuring who they can pin this on and not have him rat any others out.

What garbage ..... another TV bar stool judge at work.

The Thai police have sufficient evidence to charge as indicted the two suspects in question.

DNA results will become available within the next 24-48hrs and as such may provide conclusive evidence to warrant pending murder charges.

just get rid of them .......

this will set an example to the others that any crap will not be tolerated

After reading the last 2-3 pages of posts I can now clearly comprehend why I avoid TV from time to time.

comments on bribery, dead corpses, boycott the island ...... bla ... bla ....bla

If only some of you could rationalize and use logic thinking .... then read your post again !

Of coarse the BIB had the culprits pinned for the past several days .... they need sufficient evidence to ensure an absolute conviction can be implemented.

I said all along that the criminals would be caught ..... it was only a matter of time ...

As I mentioned earlier ..... and said all along.

They will arrest the culprits as soon as enough evidence is gathered....

as for all the TV judges ........

This really is getting more confusing by the minute ......

"He fled, took refuge in a nearby supermarket and was only able to leave when police were called and arrived on the scene at around 5am. They questioned the two Thai men but no arrests were made."

What a major clusterf#<k!!! Great police work! The whole western world is looking at this case right now, and the effen police let two prime suspects run, after they have made death threads to a friend of the vicitms???

\/\/TF is going on here?????

Thailand, hub of stupidity This make me so angry, I just wanna scream... Un-I=uck!ng-believable!!!!!

Put the whole island population in the slammer, including local police and run forced DNA tests until the suspect is caught!

Are you from the UK by any chance ?

How do you know this guy is straight up and telling the truth ?

You are simply writing your comment based on what you read.... so you read it and it all must be true ??

What do they arrest these two suspicious characters on .. ? insinuating threats ?

The story may need further investigation before any arrest could be made ....

Lets wait and see what develops out of this information before jumping to bar stool conclusions ....

Coming from Shotts, he should be used to violence. By the look of him and his actions he'd probably be better off in nearby Hartwood.

hmmmm ... sounds like a nice place to live.

Story sounds B..S.. to me.

If mafia wanted him gone , he wouldn't be around to talk about it now.

Why the hell would mafia tell him in a bar what they were planning to do .. ?

He sounds like a drunken crazy to me ...