2008bangkok

So why is it that if it got to the point of child court as you couldn't agree, the judge would always recommend the daughter stays with the mother and son stays with the father. That well documented

Exactly, I wouldn't expect to understand what my daughter going through lady wise at 13, not my job either

I don't have anger issues, I take offence to people critizing my integrity as Dad instead of just responding to the actual post I wrote. So far the only 2 people have actually given me any advice after like 3 pages is Kingkenny and Richard, everyone else just like "leave the 14 year old to do what he wants" No I ain't gonna leave him to do what he wants, it is my way and that's it, no other way. And also as IV stated 2 weeks ago he was fine, so stupid comments like you cannot force love is just irrisponsible posting

I have done all that, I'm 3 days away from getting the actual passport back after the 30 day consideration

Let me tell you this smarty. I didn't learn Thai because I wanted the whole family to speak English as they will get there results when it comes to work. As a result of always speaking English to my kids since birth, if you met them and was speaking Englishyou would be gob smacked to even think that there mother tongue is Thai, not even a hint of tinglish or Thai accent in there English, just pure natural English like I speak, all while being brought up in the Thai education system not private. So that my friend is why I decided not to learn proper Thai, just get by

Your just a breath of fresh air you are

I hear ya again, You know unfortunately I hate to say this but it also comes down to a Farang v Thai mentality. Let's just say I go "you know what sod it, I give up, stay with your mother" then I believe I'm letting him down because he doesn't know the opportunity he has with me, mould him into a good man, decent morals, etc, at the moment he is a sheep, he is nearly 6ft 85kg yet wouldn't say boo to a goose, even my daughter bullies him for his money, only a dad can bring that confidence out of him, show him who he is, show him his potential as a man. with his mother who is from the village (and nothing wrong with that) but she doesn't have any of that, can I eat, can I sleep that's it, I gave up trying to have any news related conversations with her years and years ago, so then that's his life then and I can see this as plain as I can see my hands. But maybe I should stop fighting and wait until it's to late and hope that at some point when he is older he comes to me and says sorry Daddy I was wrong, which will never ever happen because by that time he will have a full blown Thai mentality

Excessive, taking your washing out the basket walking 10.meters, pressing 2 buttons then an hour later hanging them out, at 1 month short of 15 years old!! Sorry, I appreciate and listening to your advice but I don't agree with that. When I say tidy your room, I mean i let it slide until it literally becomes and with no exagerationa tip, I have attached example where my tolerance levels snaps.

I hear what you saying however you seem to be missing the point. Although he wants to live with his mum, legally it's not up to him, it's not up to his mum, it's up to me. His mum gave up her parental responsibilities to him the day she signed the divorce papers as did I with my daughter, so she has no more rights to keep him than say you would. I give him advice on day to day stuff but I don't force anything on this apart from where he needs to live. After all let me as you this if your 14 year old boy decided he wanted to go and live on the farm with say his Uncle and not you, would you be OK with this?

I will anwser both posts, Cheers for the advice, yes visa is not an issue or shouldn't be as I'm waiting for it now while still under consideration so any day now. Yes maybe I should hold back for a while, I just worry, if I didn't care id be like sod it I got my visa let him do what he wants and come back when he wants. I like to sit on my patio,. listening to music and have a beer yes but it's not everyday, been 2 weeks now since I did that, I never go out as IV always had kids to take care of till recently. I don't know what to change, I'm sure there are things, I'm a good dad, take care of them well, buy them what they want when they want it, take them out. But in return I'm also old skool and expect them to clean there bedroom, clean there bathroom, do the dishes, clothes etc, none of this they have to do at them.mums as she lives in a studio not even 1 bedroom. So yeah what's easier stay at Daddys and have to do chores and he moans if not or stay at Mummys where she does everything and they can just lie on there <deleted> all night on phones watching YouTube or playing games.

I know exactly how schools work after nearly 15 years of using them. My daughter went to 1 school until she was 6, then she had to leave as the age was met, the next school we found the ages range from 3-13 and the official name for this school is xxxx kindergarten school. My daughter reached 13 in April so should of left the school and gone to secondary school however just before she was due to leave the school decided that they would find extra roomals and the kids who were meant to leave can stay on for another 2 years, I was completely against this and wanted her to go to a proper secondary school but my wife (we were still married at the time) she did it anyway, purely based on the fact it would be closer for her to pick my daughter up. My daughter was also happy as it meant she didn't have to leave the school and her friends, I can see that as it's daunting starting new school. But it would be a lot higher standard education so I wanted a new school. So as it stands she will leave xxx kindergarten school at 15

This is why I don't often use TV anymore, you come on here looking for advice from people who are or have been in a similar situation and can maybe offer their knowledge and all you get off most is non informative information, trolling, trying to discredit you as a person or any other form of abuse they can sling at you. All these responses and your the only one with helpful and factual advice so cheers for that.

Hey, Im sure I'm not the first and won't be the last to not have a good relationship after getting divorced after 16 years, but guess what I'm an adult and can understand the need to stay civil for the sake of the kids, she cannot. You seem to have the same weird mind as the other guy,

I don't have a problem with my visa, it's sorted so that is not what the post was about. Goodbye and thanka for all your unhelpful advice.

Now thats just silly talk, does it matter who is the person to drop or pick up if you have a good relationship. Now that is troll talk

Well that's the price you pay if you want to be a good parent, wouldn't bother me if he did hate me. He will thank me when he on the 100k job.

I agree ????, but it's kinda hard when only 1 person wants to and the other is probably the most stubborn person I know (apart from my Dad lol)

Britman is making stuff up, I already addressed this.and Kingkenny. Just because my son does runners he still loves with me until custody has changed, regardless of where he might put his head down for the night.

You have a very strange way of looking at things, I need the visa to stay here and be with my kids, is that so hard to understand. Who is cherry picking now, I said I can teach him more than the mother giving the different levels in education, common sense etc. Blimey despite all my best warnings she still drives a moped with my daughter on the back every day with no tax, no not, no insurance because she lost the book and cannot be arsed to go 1 mile to get a new one, yes, great parenting. She refused to remove my son from quite possibly the shortest temple school in the area she found him when we split temporarily before, and now she refused to find a new school for my daughter as she finished what they class as kindergarten despite being 13, because the school bizzarly said the kids can stay for another 2 years here, because it's convenient for her to pick her up after work. Great parental skills these, and I should just let it be, despite having full custody. And no, even a smart IT expert isn't paying 500k for a 1900 baht visa.

Nobody is cherry picking anything Kingkenny was posting facts, your making stuff up, or if your not post your source which differs

I didnt split the kids up, I was forced into the whole thing by my wife, she would not help me renew my visa based on child dependant so I would of had to leave Thailand, so the only other option was to give her the divorce she wanted and Thai law says if divorced I must have sole custody of at least 1 child to renew a visa, this was just meant to be a formality and continue as normal but she insisted on having sole custody of the daughter as that is what she really wanted anyway, I didn't want anybody having any full custody to be honest but again it meant I would have to leave the country. The second part of your question, well I think I can teach my son alot more being an ambitious IT expert who has a nice house, compared to a non ambitious mother who decided to change careers to become a cleaner because she was to lazy to find a similar position as a teachers assistant after covid cut backs so got a job as a cleaner instead. Hmm that's gonna rub off well on him

Well, I didn't want to go into specifics but it's not the case of trying to force anybody, for example 2 weeks ago when we sat down I flat out asked him if he was happy living with me - yes, would you be happy if we moved a bit further away from mummy but you can see her when you want - yes, would you be happy if we moved back to the UK in the future - yes. Then as soon as the unruly teenager kicks in and ask him to do some chores or God forbid take his phone off him all hell breaks loose. So it's about managing a difficult situation not trying to keep him as a slave for my own satisfaction

Actually that is not true at all, when a child is 15 and the parents get divorced the court will take into consideration who he wants to live with and have custody, not decide yourself at 15 who you want to live when guardianship has already been agreed. The guardianship finsiws at either 18 or 19. That is my understanding anyway.

I have thought about that yes and it is a worry. But I have come to the conclusion that even in this country they would not cancel a visa of a legal guardian based on an unruly teenager running off to his mother's when he gets a trantrum and feels like it. I'm sure that would be unlawful.

No1, I don't know where she lives and the kids have been told not to tell me but I do know that it's within a mile away and when everything was Ok he would ride up there on his bike, so it's not a problem to send him home,it's actually nearer than his ride to school. No2. I am really trying to keep my cool as I know from experience of living here a long time the police dealing with Thai v Farang they will try there hardest to side with the Thais. So trying my hardest to not go down that route.