StreetCowboy

Landing on the moon was a great achievement; landing on Earth, less impressive. Even Colin Macrae managed that.

People who manage 30 - 40 profiles are still real people. Ye're dedonthair, bytheway. Ah'm asrealasthenixtman, dependin' on wha ah'mstoodbeside.

For all I know, William Hartnell was a shirt-lifter. That is his business, not mine.

Go for it -,In a big way! Only Hannibal might complain…

Book binders and bookmakers are not the same

Dr Who is the only physician I would trust on time travel, and even then, I’m not sure he is a proper doctor.

I can see the future discoverer of Time Travel trying to pass the message back. ”They need to have electronics and semiconductors already , to build it. The scientists in the sixties are all zonked on weed and can’t build anything but Apollo fireworks. The 70s are too Cold War- they’d go back and murder Lenin; The …..”

Surely it would be the easiest thing in the world, having invented a time machine, to go back and pass the plans to one’s predecessors. So why have we not invented time machines? Why are they stopping us? Questions are one thing. Resentment another. But actions speak louder. What must we do to steal time machines from the future? If this post has any relevance, I am sure it will be delet…

I’ve signed us up for an organised “fun ride” organised by KL Police 9-11 pm on Saturday 18 March. ”How are we going to rehydrate at that time? The pubs will be closing!” ”I don’t fancy Bukit Bintang on a Saturday night with my bike, though we can take the bikes on the MRT to get home… but I reckon the last train home from there is about 11:30…” ”There’s no way I can drink that fast!” ”OK - we’ll make it ‘Bike with the Bill’ rather than ‘Cruise with the Coppers’, we’ll not hang about, and head on as soon as we finish, and aim to get to our usual haunts around 11 pm.” ”I love it when a plan comes together”

I’d planned a long ride out to Kuala Selangor on a route you’re all familiar with. Young J bailed out with some feeble excuse, which surprised me, as he’s never attempted Bukit Melawati before; if he had, I would well understand, and would have hoped that he would choose a more inclusive excuse, but I was reticent about saying “Oh! Can I join too?” for a reunion of his old class mates. So my buddy and I set off; “We should take it steady, to save our energy for Bukit Melawati” ”I was trying not to think about that” When we got there, there was a new tractor-hauled tram loading passengers at a pay booth at the bottom of the hill, almost blocking the road, and as I cycled past, the security guard cried out “No! Cannot!” “Cannot cycle up?” ”no, cannot…” ”Excellent!” And I turned back and we sped off before he could explain the options available to us. We’d benefitted from a tail wind all the way there, and I was glad that the way home would be shorter, at least in terms of kilometres. And flatter, too, had I not compounded error upon misjudgement to find ourselves climbing the first three steepest humps of The Dragons Back. I looked at the map, and opted for the potentially hazardous DASH highway home; it would be shorter, and flatter, than the older ground-level roads, but I was nervous that it might not be as safe as last time, now that it was open to traffic. I should have worried less about the cars and more about the headwind, and it was an arduous battle into the breeze, with two stops for a bit of a rest in the space of 20 km. I was grateful to get to the final ramp down to the LDP highway, and battled my way through two pints of cider before I could speak. ”Kuala Selangor’s too far” ”Kuala Selangor was ok - it was the way home that was too far” ”Aye, but you’ve no choice but to cycle home”

I’m with the OP - I’d be raging. He’s cleared all that bush wast e, and some gadj sets it on yag when he’s not there to see it. That’s like someone torching your bonfire on November 4th. if I was a Raj, I’d chop off one of his hands so that he could never strike a match again, and warn him that if he started a fire on my property again I’d cut off the other one so’s he couldn’t work a lighter. But I am not, maybe I am too easy-going.

I am less surprised than I am disappointed that there have been so few queries regarding the FIE’s Grand Prix d’Escargots. I’ll assume that was due to reticent shyness. If it was lack of interest, resume browsing now. As you know, my buddy’s sister recruits the competitors with lurid tales of the high life that racers can enjoy, sex, drugs, rock and roll, tracks swimming in beer - whatever snails like to fantasise about. Sadly, not all snails think the same, and while most of the competitors stayed at the starting circle in what appeared to be a massive orgy, my competitor raced off to the skid pan, almost plummeting over the winning line, until he swerved, throwing up a spray of Tiger, to start off on his victory lap. “OK - we’ve not got all night. 90 degrees of a victory lap is enough” By that time, some of the other snails were enjoying a post-coital inspection of the race track.

Can I just check how many UFOs we're actually seeing? I've not seen one, not recently. And I never did before, so same - same. Who else is seeing about nil UFOs, same as they ever did?

Will Wembelleee! Wembelleee! see the same tartan-clad triumph that Twickenham, home away from home for Scotland supporters of a certain age, saw at the weekend? Edinburgh Eagles start their long road to Wembelleee! Wembelleee! at home (the best journeys start at home, other than odessys home).. .at home to Saddleworth Rangers. Live on the BBC, whatsmore! Sadly, it clashes with the Federation Internationale d'Escargots Snail Racing World Championships, so I'll be following it in my wildest imagination, no doubt with depressing reality forced upon me from the BBC Scores and Fixtures page in the morning. Without the bitter disappointment, the sweet anticipation would be like eating only half a gooseberry.

Chinese New Year rolled round to Thaipussam, with Federal Territories Day in between, and I squandered all those opportunities to get my mileage up. My buddy's sister is struggling with the heat and the gradients, and she might be losing enthusiasm - I hope she still has her hunter's instincts about her, as she is charged with rounding up the participants for the FIE Snail Grand Prix, which this year will be coming round next week. I can't promise the same last-minute sprint as last weekend's Cyclocross World Championships - I can't even confidently promise it will last as long, but if past years are anything to go by, the drama and enthusiasm will only be matched by the volume consumed by the expectators.

Top Band! So good to be back home again! cover.

I think I must have an out of date calendar in my head, as I was thinking Saturday was the first day of the Lunar New Year holiday; delayed by rain, I set off to Bangsar for my late Public Holiday Pub Lunch, only to find Ronnie Q’s just opening up at 4 pm. Time being as it was, with a commitment phone the clan in The Old Country at 6, I headed back home, and only later realised - Sunday was the first day, Saturday was not even a holiday, and I could have done some essential shopping… Sunday saw us heading into KL to take advantage of the sparse traffic, but impending rain saw us keeping close to the pubs, and with it pending heavily all around us, we stopped in a bus shelter on the MRR2 highway. “There’s nowhere where it looks brighter” ”Desa Park City’s the closest pubs, but TTDI’s not much further” ”We’d have to come out again if we stopped at DPC” We were supposed to be going a short gentle ride with my buddy’s sister, who is visiting from The Old Country to escape the dismal weather - a pouring monsoon would be a poor escape. The rain was easing off by the time we got to the pub that was once Sids, and we ordered drink and sat down. The rain had eased up somewhat. “Should I message my sister and say we’ll not be riding if it’s still raining at 3?” ”After 2 hours here, we’re not going to want to go on another ride” ”OK. I’ll wait a while, then tell her to come straight here at 3” ”It might stop raining - send the message now, and don’t suggest a time for coming here” And a very convivial afternoon was had by all, while I folded up my mileage target for the weekend, and put it in the bin.

My young lad played the flute. I suggested that, since he went to an international school and did not get the full experience, my Irish mate could hail stones at him as he marched down the street. To be fair, my Irish mate thought that was a stupid idea, and so did my wife. I have not test asked if my son feels he has missed out, but he has switched to the saxophone

Those were the days, my friend. You can YouTube as easily as I. This would not be the first time, we’re I to repeat it, that I told you of my first morning in Hong Kong, finding myself watching the ambulance corp pipe band.

I’ll get to 100 km on the Giant Escape 2 this week - not bad for a shopping bike, but I am hoping we can get my road bike running after last week’s mishap for tomorrow’s longer ride. If I was to rate my bikes in order of “happiness of ride” it would go 1) Fuji Absolute 1.4 shopping bike (misplaced through drunken mishap 2) Avanti Giro AR2 road / cyclocross bike 3) Mondraker mountain bike - my first bike here, far too small for me, but otherwise great 4) Giant Escape 2 - current shopping bike 5) Folding bike - no complaints, it is great for what it is, but it’s my 4th choice ride, other than our annual 20-20-20 ride

A lot of bars serve food. I’m not going to exaggerate the negative impact of food, but I am sure there are studies that link morbidity to diet

You just haven’t reached the safe level yet. Perseverance should overcome prejudice and temerity.

I think his point was that drug addiction related fatality was hereditary.

If you’re racing, read BobFish’s statistics. If you want to get fit, buy the heaviest bike you can pedal. The best way to get fit cycling is to do it often, and for that, you want reliability. And panniers. And lights. And mudguards. And..

I don’t believe in conspiracy theories, but events had conspired to prevent me honouring my Comitment to joining the Bangsar Cycling Group ride this Tuesday recently today. As well as the headstock problem, I had to go to the Client’s office and couldn’t cycle to work. Daunted, but never thwarted, I drove home promptly to get my bike as soon as my meeting finished, and I had time to circle round and confirm Subway was closed, and I’d be cycling on an empty stomach. D was not joining the ride but came along for the pre ride chat, and the young couple looked a bit Leary about joining so many crumblies “ Do you want to go up Mayors Hill?” Our responses varied from ‘Yes’ to ‘Also can’ and ‘I’ll wait for you at the bottom’. Maybe I shouldn’t’ve mentioned bottoms. The Young Couple chose to Go Their Own Way. So the three of us set out. As ride leader, I had the advantage that the other guys were both much fitter than me. It was a pleasure to ride with guys whom I was confident could deal with anything I could ride over, and I hope they enjoyed some slightly different routes.