When i was a young 1950s innocent kid, my mother would always tell me, someday you will find the perfect person. It took me to one night in college with some experience under my belt to realize that the person would not be perfect, but that we would have interlocking neurosis, and in that way, she would be perfect for me...
As to the OP - No No and No...
I chose a woman who I like and respect. And I have no interest in trying to control her.