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fasteddie

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    Worst Joke Ever

    in Jokes - Puzzles and Riddles - Make My Day!

    Posted

    A husband walks into Victoria's Secret to purchase a sheer negligee for his wife.
    He is shown several possibilities that range from €50 to €500 in price -- the sheerer, the higher the price.

    Naturally, he opts for the sheerest item, pays the €500, and takes it home. He presents it to his wife and asks her to go upstairs, put it on, and model it for him.

    Upstairs the wife thinks,... I'm no dummy, 'I have an idea....
    It's so sheer that It might as well be nothing,...
    I won't put it on, but I'll do the modeling naked, ...return it tomorrow, and keep the €500 refund for myself.'

    She appears naked on the balcony and strikes a pose.
    The husband says, 'Good Grief! ....
    you'd think for €500, they'd at least iron it!'

    • Like 3

    Mother of boy viciously assaulted by soldier says she fears for her life after threats to silence her

    in Thailand News Headlines

    Posted

    4 hours ago, tominbkk said:

    I think most people who complain so bitterly on this forum did their best to try and make it here but couldn't figure out how and failed.  Maybe deported.  Then they get bitter and wail about how sour the grapes are.

    Or maybe some people, such as yourself, find Thailand the perfect place to be given the most heinous of crimes can be perpetrated as long as you have influence/money.

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    • Popular Post

    Worst Joke Ever

    in Jokes - Puzzles and Riddles - Make My Day!

    Posted

    An Arab Sheik was admitted to Hospital for heart surgery,
    but prior to the surgery, the doctors needed to have some of his blood type stored, in case the need arose.
    As the gentleman had an extremely rare type of blood that couldn't be found locally,..the call went out around the world. Finally, a Scotsman was located who had the same rare blood type, and after some coaxing, the Scot donated his blood for the Arab.
    After the surgery the Arab sent the Scotsman:
    a new BMW,
    a diamond necklace for his wife, and
    $100,000 US dollars in appreciation for the blood donation.

    A few months later, the Arab had to undergo a corrective surgery procedure.
    Once again, his doctor telephoned the Scotsman who this time was more than happy to donate his blood.
    After the second surgery, the Arab sent the Scotsman a thank-you card and a box of Quality Street Chocolates.
    The Scotsman was shocked that the Arab did not reciprocate his kind gesture as he had anticipated.
    He then phoned the Arab and asked him:
    "I thought you would be more generous than that - last time you sent me a BMW, diamonds and money, but this time you only sent me a lousy thank-you card and a crappy box of chocolates?"
    To this the Arab replied:
    "Aye laddie, but I now have Scottish blood in me veins."

    • Like 7
    • Popular Post
    • Popular Post

    Worst Joke Ever

    in Jokes - Puzzles and Riddles - Make My Day!

    Posted

    As a guitar player, I play many gigs. Once, I was asked by a funeral director to play at a graveside service for a homeless person. He had no family or friends, so the service was to be at a remote cemetery out in the middle of nowhere...

    As I was not familiar with the area, I got lost and, being a typical man, I didn’t stop for directions.. and my Satnav was no use either.

    I finally arrived an hour late and saw the funeral guy had evidently gone and the hearse was nowhere in sight. There were only the diggers and crew left and they were eating lunch.

    I felt badly and apologised to the men for being late. I went to the side of the grave and looked down and the vault lid was already in place. I didn’t know what else to do, so I started to play.

    The workers put down their lunches and began to gather around. I played out my heart and soul for this man with no family and friends. I played like I’ve never played before for this homeless man.

    And as I played ‘Amazing Grace,’ the workers began to weep. They wept, I wept, we all wept together. When I finished I packed up my acoustic and started for my car. Though my head hung low, my heart was full.

    As I opened the door to my car, I heard one of the workers say, “I never seen nothin’ like that before and I’ve been putting in septic tanks for twenty years.”

    • Like 4

    Hat Noppharat Thara beach littered with garbage

    in Krabi News

    Posted

    5 hours ago, Khun Robert said:

    Daily early morning clean up from National Park Rangers, daily afternoon clean up by local Government. Private company collect all the trash bags every evening and put new bags around trees. Big signs in Thai, English and Chinese: Do Not Litter, fine 2.000 Thb everywhere. National Park put many garbage bins in place, 3 at one spot, with pictures and text for recycling.

     

    But in the weekend, No ranger, no Government or private company. Every Monday it is a mess. Garbage bags still empty, garbage bins partly used and the trash everywhere.

     

    Time for enforcing the rule of Do not litter. Fine a few days everybody that leave something behind and people will start learning the hard way. Unfortunately it is not only the Thai tourist.

    At Hat Noppharat it's 99% Thai tourists.

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