Can you ever come first?

[thaibeachlovers]

On ‎9‎/‎30‎/‎2017 at 5:33 PM, 473geo said:

Did you have available funds you could offer without you suffering if not repaid?

 

Also when a western man marries into a family living a subsistence lifestyle how do you calculate financially there should be equal commitment?

No I didn't. Funds loaned were assured to be repaid, but kicking me out ensured no repayment was necessary.

I never said there should be an equal commitment, but gratitude would be a normal expectation in return for financial assistance. All I got was the bottom of a muddy boot on my way out the door.

[billd766]

54 minutes ago, thaibeachlovers said:

We post because we are trying to warn the innocents that arrive in LOS and fall for the first lovely girl that tells them they are "hansum" and that they will "lub you long time", followed by handing over all the innocent's life savings so the beloved's family can live a lifestyle they would never be able to afford without a farang's beneficience. Ending in tears once the money tree ends and the wiser but poor farang is sent packing.

I don't see much specifically personal posted against those living happy lives with the lovely Thai lady, unless especially and unrealistically besotted.

 

What makes you think that newbies will take any more notice of your warnings than for example my postings ,which don't point out any pitfalls but do point out that there are a large amount of good Thai ladies out there.

 

Firstly they would have to read Thai Visa Forum and go threough hundreds of posts by men whining that ALL Thai women are evil and only want farangs fot their money which actually is not true at all.

 

Some Thai women might but not all.

 

There are not many threads on TVF about the good marriages and partnerships simply because people in that kind of a relationship can't be bothered to poast about it as they are too busy enjoying their lives with their Thai families.

 

I can look back ove TVF for 13 or 14 years and about 90% of the posts about Thai women and Thais in general are negative.

 

Two things continually amaze me about Thailand.

 

1   The number of farangs who still come to Thailand, find a Thai lady and get married doesn't seem to have changed much over the years.

 

2   The numbers of farangs who moan and whine about being ripped off by Thai women are fairly constant too. Yet most of them still stay in Thailand, sitting in bars and still moan.

 

If my marriage ever goes tits up, the LAST place in the world I would post about in would be TVF.

[Paul Catton]

2 hours ago, thaibeachlovers said:

Perhaps you are being deliberately obtuse, but if a farang is paying for everything, they should be treated with gratitude and respect.

Of course, if they are contributing nothing more than to support themselves( how many would be in that category? ) they would of course be treated as just another member of the family.

 

I don't know why I even had to explain that.

If you "bought" a significant partner, caveat emptor should apply, Heart to Heart with Hillary is a better red flag.

I get a lot more respect and if ever requiring assistance, from my Thai extended family than my Occidental biological family. All feathers are not tarred by the same brush.

Edited October 2, 2017 by Paul Catton

[transam]

56 minutes ago, billd766 said:

 

What makes you think that newbies will take any more notice of your warnings than for example my postings ,which don't point out any pitfalls but do point out that there are a large amount of good Thai ladies out there.

 

Firstly they would have to read Thai Visa Forum and go threough hundreds of posts by men whining that ALL Thai women are evil and only want farangs fot their money which actually is not true at all.

 

Some Thai women might but not all.

 

There are not many threads on TVF about the good marriages and partnerships simply because people in that kind of a relationship can't be bothered to poast about it as they are too busy enjoying their lives with their Thai families.

 

I can look back ove TVF for 13 or 14 years and about 90% of the posts about Thai women and Thais in general are negative.

 

Two things continually amaze me about Thailand.

 

1   The number of farangs who still come to Thailand, find a Thai lady and get married doesn't seem to have changed much over the years.

 

2   The numbers of farangs who moan and whine about being ripped off by Thai women are fairly constant too. Yet most of them still stay in Thailand, sitting in bars and still moan.

 

If my marriage ever goes tits up, the LAST place in the world I would post about in would be TVF.

I agree, but if mine went tits up I may post the fact because my life has taught me to trust no one...Yeh sad, but I have a few T-shirts...

[Paul Catton]

2 minutes ago, transam said:

I agree, but if mine went tits up I may post the fact because my life has taught me to trust no one...Yeh sad, but I have a few T-shirts...

And the voice of a crooner by all accounts

 

[transam]

1 minute ago, Paul Catton said:

And the voice of a crooner by all accounts

 

[Been there done that]

3 hours ago, billd766 said:

 

What makes you think that newbies will take any more notice of your warnings than for example my postings ,which don't point out any pitfalls but do point out that there are a large amount of good Thai ladies out there.

 

Firstly they would have to read Thai Visa Forum and go threough hundreds of posts by men whining that ALL Thai women are evil and only want farangs fot their money which actually is not true at all.

 

Some Thai women might but not all.

 

There are not many threads on TVF about the good marriages and partnerships simply because people in that kind of a relationship can't be bothered to poast about it as they are too busy enjoying their lives with their Thai families.

 

I can look back ove TVF for 13 or 14 years and about 90% of the posts about Thai women and Thais in general are negative.

 

Two things continually amaze me about Thailand.

 

1   The number of farangs who still come to Thailand, find a Thai lady and get married doesn't seem to have changed much over the years.

 

2   The numbers of farangs who moan and whine about being ripped off by Thai women are fairly constant too. Yet most of them still stay in Thailand, sitting in bars and still moan.

 

If my marriage ever goes tits up, the LAST place in the world I would post about in would be TVF.

So why do you bother to post alot, not really enjoying the live with your family ?

[billd766]

3 hours ago, Been there done that said:

So why do you bother to post alot, not really enjoying the live with your family ?

 

Do ypu think a post count of 13,424 is a lot considering that it goes back to 11th November 2003?

 

That equals about 2.6 posts a day.

 

A bit higher on average than yours but mine does cover a wide range of threads.

[473geo]

11 hours ago, thaibeachlovers said:

We post because we are trying to warn the innocents that arrive in LOS and fall for the first lovely girl that tells them they are "hansum" and that they will "lub you long time", followed by handing over all the innocent's life savings so the beloved's family can live a lifestyle they would never be able to afford without a farang's beneficience. Ending in tears once the money tree ends and the wiser but poor farang is sent packing.

I don't see much specifically personal posted against those living happy lives with the lovely Thai lady, unless especially and unrealistically besotted.

Boll0cks - guys with failed relationships post because they have not got over it and are still bitter!! Seriously who would spend their days  'Trying to warn innocents' except those that cannot move on?

[473geo]

18 hours ago, Been there done that said:

Okay, so you are suggesting that poverty is a valibable excuse for a person to lie, cheat and steal. Fair enough 

 

I'm suggesting desperation is the catalyst often fuelled by poverty, you were close, but no cigar 

[thaibeachlovers]

On ‎10‎/‎2‎/‎2017 at 2:41 PM, billd766 said:

 

What makes you think that newbies will take any more notice of your warnings than for example my postings ,which don't point out any pitfalls but do point out that there are a large amount of good Thai ladies out there.

 

Firstly they would have to read Thai Visa Forum and go threough hundreds of posts by men whining that ALL Thai women are evil and only want farangs fot their money which actually is not true at all.

 

Some Thai women might but not all.

 

There are not many threads on TVF about the good marriages and partnerships simply because people in that kind of a relationship can't be bothered to poast about it as they are too busy enjoying their lives with their Thai families.

 

I can look back ove TVF for 13 or 14 years and about 90% of the posts about Thai women and Thais in general are negative.

 

Two things continually amaze me about Thailand.

 

1   The number of farangs who still come to Thailand, find a Thai lady and get married doesn't seem to have changed much over the years.

 

2   The numbers of farangs who moan and whine about being ripped off by Thai women are fairly constant too. Yet most of them still stay in Thailand, sitting in bars and still moan.

 

If my marriage ever goes tits up, the LAST place in the world I would post about in would be TVF.

They can make up their own mind, but if they were never to get a warning they might never do any research.

 

If people stay in LOS after getting ripped off it's because they realise that what they liked about Thailand didn't vanish because of a bad woman.

Sitting in bars. Some do, but not all. No one makes anyone sit with them if one doesn't like the conversation.

You call it moaning and whining on TVF- we call it warning.

[thaibeachlovers]

On ‎10‎/‎2‎/‎2017 at 3:32 PM, Paul Catton said:

If you "bought" a significant partner, caveat emptor should apply, Heart to Heart with Hillary is a better red flag.

I get a lot more respect and if ever requiring assistance, from my Thai extended family than my Occidental biological family. All feathers are not tarred by the same brush.

LOL.

You have no idea of the relationship between myself and my ex, but you claim I "bought" her. Had you been paying attention, you would know that my marriage failed precisely because I refused to do so.

So, your Thai "family" is wonderful, but whoopy doo, mine wasn't. Not all feathers shine the same.

BTW, my Caucasian hag from hell ex's family were just as revolting as the Thai one so their feathers were indeed tarred with the same brush.

 

Rather than get into personal insult mode with other posters you could have just answered the OP. 

[thaibeachlovers]

13 hours ago, 473geo said:

 

I'm suggesting desperation is the catalyst often fuelled by poverty, you were close, but no cigar 

Boll0cks - There are multi millions of poverty stricken people in the world but they are not all desperate , neither do they all lie, cheat and steal.

People that do so would even if they were rich, and sadly, rich people do often indulge in such.

[Paul Catton]

24 minutes ago, thaibeachlovers said:

LOL.

You have no idea of the relationship between myself and my ex, but you claim I "bought" her. Had you been paying attention, you would know that my marriage failed precisely because I refused to do so.

So, your Thai "family" is wonderful, but whoopy doo, mine wasn't. Not all feathers shine the same.

BTW, my Caucasian hag from hell ex's family were just as revolting as the Thai one so their feathers were indeed tarred with the same brush.

 

Rather than get into personal insult mode with other posters you could have just answered the OP. 

I believe I didn't start negativity and then provide vitriol towards having a wife who is a Thai national and failure of matrimonial harmony.

My viewpoint was not an isolated attack upon you on personal level under the proviso of the initial word of the comment "If".

There is many a comment by yourself on ThaiVisa that I nod in assent with your point of view,  yet likewise a few that crap out.

I'm sorry if the comment offended.

I am most fortunate with Opal and the extended Thai family, Yes,  whoopy doo -whoopy doo and repeat again many times as is correct.

As an aside my ex-Caucasian wife took me to the brink of suicide thwarted by Police intervention.

 

[Been there done that]

2 hours ago, thaibeachlovers said:

LOL.

You have no idea of the relationship between myself and my ex, but you claim I "bought" her. Had you been paying attention, you would know that my marriage failed precisely because I refused to do so.

So, your Thai "family" is wonderful, but whoopy doo, mine wasn't. Not all feathers shine the same.

BTW, my Caucasian hag from hell ex's family were just as revolting as the Thai one so their feathers were indeed tarred with the same brush.

 

Rather than get into personal insult mode with other posters you could have just answered the OP. 

"Refusing to buy a woman", yes thats the way to go. Especially in LOS. A many on here though think its the norm, to buy a woman. This all under the guise of providing security etc etc. In an overwhelming lot of situations for "her" familymembers too. 

Why would a thai woman want a foreigner, because they have alot in common, understand each other easily. Get real, its about money, nothing else. If the ones living in such a situation and are happy with it, good. Do not blame though the ones who warn others about the pitfalls in paradise. Just count your blessings.

[billd766]

5 hours ago, thaibeachlovers said:

They can make up their own mind, but if they were never to get a warning they might never do any research.

 

If people stay in LOS after getting ripped off it's because they realise that what they liked about Thailand didn't vanish because of a bad woman.

Sitting in bars. Some do, but not all. No one makes anyone sit with them if one doesn't like the conversation.

You call it moaning and whining on TVF- we call it warning.

 

Nobody is listening to you though or it wouldn't be happening any more.

[473geo]

8 hours ago, thaibeachlovers said:

Boll0cks - There are multi millions of poverty stricken people in the world but they are not all desperate , neither do they all lie, cheat and steal.

People that do so would even if they were rich, and sadly, rich people do often indulge in such.

I'll have to bow to your superior knowledge on that one.

Bit like Thai Women I guess, they don't all lie and cheat either, perhaps you should try and cultivate the same understanding you give to those who are poverty stricken. 

Edited October 3, 2017 by 473geo

[473geo]

6 hours ago, Been there done that said:

"Refusing to buy a woman", yes thats the way to go. Especially in LOS. A many on here though think its the norm, to buy a woman. This all under the guise of providing security etc etc. In an overwhelming lot of situations for "her" familymembers too. 

Why would a thai woman want a foreigner, because they have alot in common, understand each other easily. Get real, its about money, nothing else. If the ones living in such a situation and are happy with it, good. Do not blame though the ones who warn others about the pitfalls in paradise. Just count your blessings.

oh I count my blessings all right, had a great life loads of fun and interesting experiences and happy as can be now with my lovely wife. No money though...spent it all on women  loved every minute. I guess everyone is different, right?

 

 

Edited October 3, 2017 by 473geo

[billd766]

12 hours ago, 473geo said:

oh I count my blessings all right, had a great life loads of fun and interesting experiences and happy as can be now with my lovely wife. No money though...spent it all on women  loved every minute. I guess everyone is different, right?

 

 

 

This must have been your theme song then.

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qt2N6ATyYQE

 

[473geo]

1 minute ago, billd766 said:

 

This must have been your theme song then.

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qt2N6ATyYQE

 

Just off to work made my day thanks 

 

 

[benalibina]

On Sunday, October 01, 2017 at 12:52 PM, sirineou said:

Same here:

I am Greek born but I have grown up in the US since I was a toddler. and consider myself a Greek American, married to a Thai for over 10 years, My older brother has returned to Greece and lives there for many yers now, My older sister is married to a very nice Italian  and has lived in Mogliano a little north of Venice, for at least 30 years, , I have spend a considerable amount of time in a Thai , Greek, and Italian family, and I see little difference. 

There is an order of significance with the Grandparents and parents on the top.

As it should be. Family comes first, even before country.

Think about it logically, husbands come and go (especially farang husbands) , but family (whether you like it or not) is for ever! Would you put your husband before your parents?  Where would you be if he leaves?

 

  

Ofcourse the husband should come 1st. She has chosen him to be her lifepartner. With your sense of justification, no wonder the world is a <deleted> up place. Thanks all to....FAMILY !

[thaibeachlovers]

On ‎10‎/‎3‎/‎2017 at 9:43 PM, billd766 said:

 

Nobody is listening to you though or it wouldn't be happening any more.

I can only try.

[thaibeachlovers]

On ‎10‎/‎4‎/‎2017 at 12:57 AM, 473geo said:

I'll have to bow to your superior knowledge on that one.

Bit like Thai Women I guess, they don't all lie and cheat either, perhaps you should try and cultivate the same understanding you give to those who are poverty stricken. 

I always gave people the benefit of the doubt, but when the people that should support me become backstabbing scumbags it makes it hard to trust anyone. A guy that I was friends with for 30 years backstabbed me to do me out of a year's wage. My first beloved partner in love turned out to be the hag from hell. Etc etc etc. It wouldn't be so bad if they were the only backstabbers in my life, but sadly, they turned out to be just two of many. 

Something is wrong with some of the people I know.

[billd766]

13 hours ago, thaibeachlovers said:

I can only try.

 

Good on you for trying.

 

I gave up on that a few years ago, somewhat disappointed.

[billd766]

13 hours ago, thaibeachlovers said:

I always gave people the benefit of the doubt, but when the people that should support me become backstabbing scumbags it makes it hard to trust anyone. A guy that I was friends with for 30 years backstabbed me to do me out of a year's wage. My first beloved partner in love turned out to be the hag from hell. Etc etc etc. It wouldn't be so bad if they were the only backstabbers in my life, but sadly, they turned out to be just two of many. 

Something is wrong with some of the people I know.

 

You have my sympathy.

 

So far (touch wood) I have been fairly lucky in my life and few if any backstabbers.

[473geo]

13 hours ago, thaibeachlovers said:

I always gave people the benefit of the doubt, but when the people that should support me become backstabbing scumbags it makes it hard to trust anyone. A guy that I was friends with for 30 years backstabbed me to do me out of a year's wage. My first beloved partner in love turned out to be the hag from hell. Etc etc etc. It wouldn't be so bad if they were the only backstabbers in my life, but sadly, they turned out to be just two of many. 

Something is wrong with some of the people I know.

You would be surprised how many of the world population has come through the disappointments you have experienced, although unfortunately you appear to perhaps had more than your fair share!!

The thing being, when you experience the proverbial kick in the nuts, as I am sure we all have on occasion, family are usually the first to step in front of danger, or throw you a line, and provide support.

This has been my experience through life. 

I believe my wife and children are confident, I am, and always will be there for them. To me this is the only way to the number one spot, if that is your requirement. For me I am happy to let the number one position rotate as and when required, I don't need to hold the position if others prove capable, and they do. 

 

[thaibeachlovers]

On ‎10‎/‎7‎/‎2017 at 12:23 PM, billd766 said:

 

You have my sympathy.

 

So far (touch wood) I have been fairly lucky in my life and few if any backstabbers.

You are lucky.

Mind you I was only backstabbed because I was too generous. If one never puts oneself in a position that others can take advantage of, one will not be backstabbed.

Now, where is that time machine?

[thaibeachlovers]

On ‎10‎/‎7‎/‎2017 at 1:23 PM, 473geo said:

You would be surprised how many of the world population has come through the disappointments you have experienced, although unfortunately you appear to perhaps had more than your fair share!!

The thing being, when you experience the proverbial kick in the nuts, as I am sure we all have on occasion, family are usually the first to step in front of danger, or throw you a line, and provide support.

This has been my experience through life. 

I believe my wife and children are confident, I am, and always will be there for them. To me this is the only way to the number one spot, if that is your requirement. For me I am happy to let the number one position rotate as and when required, I don't need to hold the position if others prove capable, and they do. 

 

You wuz lucky.

My parental family were right up there in the "got a problem, not my problem" category, and both of my "partners in life" were pretty lacking in support when I needed it.

I guess I was too naive at a critical point in my life, and I just didn't learn the lessons soon enough.

Unfortunately, I am among millions of others in the same boat.

[billd766]

On 9/27/2017 at 2:10 PM, billd766 said:

I live in rural Khampaeng Phet with my wife and son.

 

When we were building our bigger house we built a small house for my wife to live in while our house was being built and for her parents when they were ready to leave BKK.

 

My wife had her mother up to stay with us for about 5 years until the MIL died about 2 years ago.

 

Her Dad is in BKK in hospital with dengue fever and Alzheimers and my wife went down to help out yesterday leaving me and our 13 year old son here as he has exams to finish.

 

She has 3 brothers, 2 of whom work full time and the third is a casualty of the drug wars and though he can look after himself he can't look after Dad as well.

 

I am not sure what will happen at the end of term, whether she wants our son to go down or stay here until something happens one way or another. Hopefully her Dad will recover and we can bring him up here to relax and recover.

 

Am I upset about the fact that she has gone to help out her Dad?

 

Not in the slightest.

 

I knew about this long before we were married 17 years ago (and have known each other about 24 years) and I accept it as a normal thing.

 

Unlike the west when parents get old and stuffed into a retirement home and visited once a month, many Thai families support and look after each other. This is why many Thai women leave their children with her parents, find work elsewhere and send money back every month.

 

 

 

Sadly her Dad passed away on Wednesday night/Thursday morning, so we pulled our son from school on Friday and Monday and we are all in Bangkok for the cremation on Sunday.

 

My son and I will go home on Monday and he will go back to school Tuesday, I will be sort of be back to normal while my wife, her brothers and the family sort out Dad's estate. I will expect my wife back when I see her but hopefully by the end of the month.

[samsensam]

On 27/09/2017 at 8:10 AM, billd766 said:

I live in rural Khampaeng Phet with my wife and son.

 

When we were building our bigger house we built a small house for my wife to live in while our house was being built and for her parents when they were ready to leave BKK.

 

My wife had her mother up to stay with us for about 5 years until the MIL died about 2 years ago.

 

Her Dad is in BKK in hospital with dengue fever and Alzheimers and my wife went down to help out yesterday leaving me and our 13 year old son here as he has exams to finish.

 

She has 3 brothers, 2 of whom work full time and the third is a casualty of the drug wars and though he can look after himself he can't look after Dad as well.

 

I am not sure what will happen at the end of term, whether she wants our son to go down or stay here until something happens one way or another. Hopefully her Dad will recover and we can bring him up here to relax and recover.

 

Am I upset about the fact that she has gone to help out her Dad?

 

Not in the slightest.

 

I knew about this long before we were married 17 years ago (and have known each other about 24 years) and I accept it as a normal thing.

 

Unlike the west when parents get old and stuffed into a retirement home and visited once a month, many Thai families support and look after each other. This is why many Thai women leave their children with her parents, find work elsewhere and send money back every month.

 

 

 

Unlike the west when parents get old and stuffed into a retirement home and visited once a month

 

really?! if this is your experience of your family and friends then i pity you. in my experience; family and friends are extremely supportive. grandparents help out with child care, the elderly are extremely well cared for not only by family but supported by a welfare system and professional health care system.

 

i dont know where you come from but in my country being involved with your children is normal and i would not swap this for thai culture of  'abandonment' of children by fathers who refuse to take responsibility for their children and/or absent mothers. in fact divorced/separated fathers protest and take legal action to be more involved with their children.