What's up with the lies?!

[Peterw42]

OP, can you give some examples of the stories told? maybe some sort of lost in translation metaphor. Or trying to show, by example, she understands an idea or concept.

She is saying something like "my last relationship was a trainwreck" and as far as you know she has never been on a train.

 

[LannaGuy]

Thais and Lies are like Chicken and Eggs they just go together. Not because they are 'bad people' but they are taught that honesty and ethics are 'small change' and FACE, or lack of it, is the 'be all and end all' of their existence.  So to lie to 'impress' or to 'deceive' is perfectly acceptable in their small 'gob nai kala' world. 

 

Will take decades if not centuries to alter that paradigm.  

[scorecard]

This scenario is not 'Thai', it happens everywhere in the world.

 

Why? 

 

Many reasons, the most obvious is that the person just wants to impress you and very probably with no ill intent.

 

There are of course many other reasons. 

[Songlaw]

LOS may as well stand for Land of "Say what?!" In LOS, things are seldom what they seem at first blush, if ever. You've perhaps some time ago begun to peel the rather large onion that lies at the root of why this is and discovered yet another layer. Yes, to some degree it is cultural - there are a few things here viewed as malleable - physics, justice, logic, and yes, truth - that are, for the most part, accepted as fundamentally sacrosanct by many, if not most, Western (and, I suppose, other Eastern) cultures. Does this mean that in practice the West is any better at upholding the virtues of reason in matters of importance? Of course not. Thailand just foregoes the pretense that underlies the more finely-honed and sometimes better-obfuscated duplicitousness that exists in the West. At times, I find it maddening. At others, refreshing. I somehow doubt I am the only foreigner who has developed a love-hate relationship with this place, which vacillates, over time. However, as for where my allegiances lie, suffice it to say that the only way I'm likely to leave LOS is either in cuffs or perhaps lining the bottom of a "pine" box. (feel free to insert a collective groan here)

[Peterw42]

If English is your 2nd language then things like past or present tense, satire, metaphors, rhetorical questions etc, may not be understood.

Maybe the Thai GF doesnt understand the difference between 1st and 3rd person narrative.

[tifino]

... also Past/Present/Future tense

[Songlaw]

15 minutes ago, LannaGuy said:

Thais and Lies are like Chicken and Eggs they just go together. Not because they are 'bad people' but they are taught that honesty and ethics are 'small change' and FACE, or lack of it, is the 'be all and end all' of their existence.  So to lie to 'impress' or to 'deceive' is perfectly acceptable in their small 'gob nai kala' world. 

 

Will take decades if not centuries to alter that paradigm.  

This is going to go over like a lead balloon in some circles. Standing by for the fallout. For the record, not saying I entirely disagree. But you have admittedly bigger cubes than I do.

[Songlaw]

11 minutes ago, Peterw42 said:

If English is your 2nd language then things like past or present tense, satire, metaphors, rhetorical questions etc, may not be understood.

Maybe the Thai GF doesnt understand the difference between 1st and 3rd person narrative.

It never occurred to me that this scenario might be taking place in English. A valid possibility, even if it turns out not to have a bearing. Communications here, even under the best of circumstances, are often dubious. I'd kill for a look at a "transcript" of a typical conversation. Okay, maybe not kill...

Edited October 24, 2017 by Songlaw
subject/verb disagreement

[whaleboneman]

1 hour ago, sanemax said:

Please stop all these continuous references to Trump

Or are these Trump forums ? 

He happens to be the most famous pathological liar at the moment and the topic is about lying, so it seems natural that his name would come up. 

[Jonnapat]

If it comes down to "saving face" then you will normally get a lie rather than the truth. That's been my experience anyway.

[theguyfromanotherforum]

5 minutes ago, whaleboneman said:

He happens to be the most famous pathological liar at the moment and the topic is about lying, so it seems natural that his name would come up. 

 

So this thread is about Clintons?

[Tchooptip]

1 hour ago, sanemax said:

Please stop all these continuous references to Trump

Or are these Trump forums ? 

No! it is only a free one  

[tigermoth]

Thai Visa has lost so many viewers through totally mundane and boring items like this that it's well past time the editorial staff were sacked and some people with a smidgen of brain put in at the top.

[sanemax]

21 minutes ago, whaleboneman said:

He happens to be the most famous pathological liar at the moment and the topic is about lying, so it seems natural that his name would come up. 

OK, lets talk about American Politics .

   Some of Trumps so  called lies are fake news , Trump opposers make up lies in order to discredit Trump

[Ossy]

16 hours ago, cornishcarlos said:

My wife will lie to her Mum, just to avoid confrontation or worrying her. Nothing drastic, more bending the truth to suit the situation. Example, we had work done on her old pick up, cost 54k but she told her Mum 42k just to stop her stressing :)

 

Does she lie to me ? Maybe, again for the same reasons probably. Am I bothered, not at all as long as she's there when I get home :)

Yes, white lies, these, and nothing wrong with a white lie, they say . . . told to improve the situation in some way for someone else and not out of any bad motive of the teller.

[Tchooptip]

1 hour ago, Suradit69 said:

Please stop all the fantasy threads about the behavior of "girl friends." Or is this a teenage "romance and dating" forum for adolescents.

 

 

 

 

Please stop all those supposed to be funny answers about other members comments. Or is this a humorous forum?

[nickmondo]

oh dear.  I really cannot believe some of the stuff I read on here.

some of you blokes are either completely stupid, gullible, or just desperate to have a woman in your life.

nuff said

[transam]

3 minutes ago, nickmondo said:

oh dear.  I really cannot believe some of the stuff I read on here.

some of you blokes are either completely stupid, gullible, or just desperate to have a woman in your life.

nuff said

Yes me.....

[theguyfromanotherforum]

14 minutes ago, tigermoth said:

Thai Visa has lost so many viewers through totally mundane and boring items like this that it's well past time the editorial staff were sacked and some people with a smidgen of brain put in at the top.

 

Someone decided to show their brand new white high horse in a pub.

[Ossy]

My wife seldom lies - I think! - but on the odd occasion when I've been sure she's lied, she has done it with amazing, almost frightening coolness and expertise. The lie has been mouthed in an instant and with few, if any, give-aways, either in her manner of the soundness of the lie itself.

 

The interesting result from this scenario is that I've spent many hour, over my sunset beer, wondering just how or why her lying expertise developed into the occasional deadly weapon that it has.

[sanemax]

My experience with a not too honest Thai girl .

Fair enough, met her in a bar .

Used to go there and watch football and nothing else .

Over the course of time, got friendly with one of the girls .

Someone nice to sit and have a drink with .

She would often exaggerate , sometimes say things that werent true , but it was all jovial, banter, pulling your leg , rather than vicious lies .

   Her and her friends used to talk to customers and invent whole new Worlds about themselves , it was like a game . 

   I can understand why they did it , rather than sitting there , telling their life story, which was rather dull, to a different person every night , why not invent a whole new interesting person ?

   It was all just banter , "aving a larf"

I eventually moved in with her , the little jovial lies continued , harmless and nothing serious .

The untruths became more and more elaborate .

   She would tell me something , I would then mention it to my felang friends over a beer , what I said would then turn out to be untrue and I got a reputation for telling lies , even though I said those things in good faith .

   She would tell me that one of her friends is pregnant , I would tell my felang friends , turns out she wasnt pregnant and all my friends think that Im a liar

    I then had to question everything she said , confirm it with other people or see proof .

It became draining .

   She was saying untruths for absolutely no reason at all .

I eventually understood why .

If she didnt know something , she would just imagine what the truth is and that would become the truth .

    As her friend was living with her BF , she may become pregnant , so, in her belief, she was pregnant , really didnt matter to her, as to if she actually was or not .

   So, I came to the conclusion that she wasnt actually lying , it was worse than that , she couldnt tell the difference between reality and her imagination .

   Her imagination became her facts

[csabo]

My gf only lies when she says she doesn't want anal. 

[Ossy]

1 hour ago, LannaGuy said:

Thais and Lies are like Chicken and Eggs they just go together. Not because they are 'bad people' but they are taught that honesty and ethics are 'small change' and FACE, or lack of it, is the 'be all and end all' of their existence.  So to lie to 'impress' or to 'deceive' is perfectly acceptable in their small 'gob nai kala' world. 

 

Will take decades if not centuries to alter that paradigm.  

Hells bells . . . I've been brain-picked, again. My observations and conclusions to a T

[sanemax]

1 hour ago, Songlaw said:

 Yes, to some degree it is cultural - there are a few things here viewed as malleable - physics, justice, logic, and yes, truth - that are, for the most part, accepted as fundamentally sacrosanct by many, if not most, Western (and, I suppose, other Eastern) cultures. Does this mean that in practice the West is any better at upholding the virtues of reason in matters of importance? Of course not.

Those virtues that you speak of are the result of thousands of years of progression and development .    

     If you were to dismiss and ignore those virtues , you may as well go and live in a tree

[seancbk]

25 minutes ago, Tchooptip said:

Please stop all those supposed to be funny answers about other members comments. Or is this a humorous forum?

 

This is the Farang Pub forum so you'll get a higher than normal level of daft comments.   

Thankfully the completely unfunny puns haven't started appearing (yet).

[murraynz]

big problem for thais--their culture and upbringing teaches them to lie{saving face etc}.   a lie is a lie....small lies and 'white" lies soon become a habit, which the leads to larger lies...its a major problem here

[Songlaw]

2 minutes ago, sanemax said:

Those virtues that you speak of are the result of thousands of years of progression and development .    

     If you were to dismiss and ignore those virtues , you may as well go and live in a tree

Not sure what your point might be, but the deliberate use of my text outside of its original context gives me a clue. The other distinct possibility, given the venue, would be comprehension. Perhaps a re-read is in order?

[LannaGuy]

1 hour ago, scorecard said:

This scenario is not 'Thai', it happens everywhere in the world.

 

Why? 

 

Many reasons, the most obvious is that the person just wants to impress you and very probably with no ill intent.

 

There are of course many other reasons. 

 

Is is VERY Thai and happens here much more than anywhere I have ever encountered. Most Thais are born lying or at least raised lying. Everywhere lies, of course, but I don't know anywhere else who have developed the 'Hub of Lying' quite like the Thais have.  It's why people say 'Don't Thai to me".

[captainhornblower]

2 hours ago, AjarnMartin said:

I would have thought: “Significant Other”?

 

First is probably more accurate!!

[LannaGuy]

43 minutes ago, Ossy said:

Yes, white lies, these, and nothing wrong with a white lie, they say . . . told to improve the situation in some way for someone else and not out of any bad motive of the teller.

Yes very Buddhist  (not). Buddha taught Right Speech which basically is  "Say what you will do and do what you say"  not the twisted Thai version "I feel bad and will lie to save my face".

 

Lying, even 'white' is Un-Buddhist and the reason Thais do it is cultural. They are brought up that it's unimportant it's how you 'look' to society. I rarely trust a Thai it's like trusting a snake not to bite you.