Criticism

[XBroker]

3 hours ago, BudRight said:

Thais criticize stuff all the time. They just don't like when YOU do it, so they tell you its rude. Really there are pretty different expectations of westerner vs Thai social behavior. 

That seems to be a theme is Asia in general. I think there is more racism involved than we'd like to admit. 

[Brunolem]

10 minutes ago, robsamui said:

How many times have I taken a taxi from way down the end of Sukhumvit into the centre of BKK (20 km) only to find the driver going round aimlessly in circles, half way there? Usually I recognised the 'I'm lost and don't know where to go but I can't lose face ' syndrome and just told the guy to stop, then took another taxi.

Once or twice I got annoyed and told the guy to stop near some other parked taxis, crossed over to them and asked one of the other taxis drivers to shout across and tell my driver where to go (and the other taxi driver just loved it!)

 

They can't admit to not knowing something. Fine. But when it comes to major decisions at government level, its a whole different bag of bananas. But exactly the same thing happens there, too, unfortunately - it crops up every day in the news in one form or another, much to the huge amusement of international observers.

Especially amusing is the fact that when they criticize farangs, which they do in their way, they laugh while repeating "farang may lu luang" (the farang doesn't know anything)!

 

I hear that many times a week and I don't pay attention to it anymore.

 

As for not asking, even though I am the only farang for miles around in my corner of Isaan, in over 15 years not one pupil or student has ever come to see me for some support with his or her homework (English or maths)...and yet they would need it...but, hey, farang may lu luang!

 

 

[robsamui]

36 minutes ago, Brunolem said:

Especially amusing is the fact that when they criticize farangs, which they do in their way, they laugh while repeating "farang may lu luang" (the farang doesn't know anything)!

 

I hear that many times a week and I don't pay attention to it anymore.

 

As for not asking, even though I am the only farang for miles around in my corner of Isaan, in over 15 years not one pupil or student has ever come to see me for some support with his or her homework (English or maths)...and yet they would need it...but, hey, farang may lu luang!

 

 

Yep. The last thing any Thai will do is to ask a farang to help them with their English. (I've often tried to offer help to Thai hotel owners with their (incomprehensible) websites, only for them to go all pouty and have tantrums.) Now I don't bother anymore.

 

This is why ThaiVisa is full of the most absurd images of lunatic translations from Thai to English using Google translate, and we all have constant amusement. Just imagine how dull it would be if they all stopped doing it and asked for help!  :-)

Edited November 13, 2017 by robsamui

[samsensam]

 

an ex gf of mine married a european guy, he paid 2.4 million baht sin sot, she told me he should have paid, and her parents would have accepted, 300,000. anyway he is now a standing joke within her family and friends and as a non-thai speaker i guess he has no idea of their opinion of him. apparently they mock him in thai whenever he visits.

[robsamui]

1 minute ago, samsensam said:

 

an ex gf of mine married a european guy, he paid 2.4 million baht sin sot, she told me he should have paid, and her parents would have accepted, 300,000. anyway he is now a standing joke within her family and friends and as a non-thai speaker i guess he has no idea of their opinion of him. apparently they mock him in thai whenever he visits.

and the connection to Thai people being unable to accept criticism is . . . . 

[Bangkok Barry]

1 hour ago, Brunolem said:

 

As for not asking, even though I am the only farang for miles around in my corner of Isaan, in over 15 years not one pupil or student has ever come to see me for some support with his or her homework (English or maths)...and yet they would need it...but, hey, farang may lu luang!

 

 

 

We visited a friend of a friend of my wife and went to dinner, with her daughter who was taking an English exam the next day related to entering university. A golden opportunity for the girl to practise her English with me. Did she? No. She didn't say a word the entire evening.

[Zyxel]

[fordguy61mi]

On 11/12/2017 at 7:17 AM, kenk24 said:

Most Thai that I know would feel it rude to criticize especially a guest or stranger. This does not mean that they would not be judgmental of someone acting poorly, though they might not voice it. 

 

The closer the relationship, it seems, the more likely they are to be critical. Eg. My wife would never be critical of you speaking Thai incorrectly, whereas if I pronounce something incorrectly, she might let it go, or she might critically correct me... possibly depending upon her mood. 

My wife outright laughs at me when I try to speak Thai. How's that for criticism. lol

[1FinickyOne]

7 hours ago, fordguy61mi said:

My wife outright laughs at me when I try to speak Thai. How's that for criticism. lol

Effective...

 

but keep at it - being able to speak Thai is quite handy and fun if you live here. It will greatly enhance your Thai experience and enjoyment. 

[1FinickyOne]

8 hours ago, Zyxel said:

This looks very interesting - where can I get a copy? 

[newatthis]

9 hours ago, samsensam said:

 

an ex gf of mine married a european guy, he paid 2.4 million baht sin sot, she told me he should have paid, and her parents would have accepted, 300,000. anyway he is now a standing joke within her family and friends and as a non-thai speaker i guess he has no idea of their opinion of him. apparently they mock him in thai whenever he visits.

Now that just shows cruel hearts.

[JLCrab]

I have 1st edition this version Transliterated Thai to English (with the written Thai) which is great because that way all the 'nam' words are together and all the 'jai' words are together. Out-of-print.

 

[Zyxel]

4 hours ago, kenk24 said:

This looks very interesting - where can I get a copy? 

I bought it at the now defunct Bookazine about 15 years ago. I don't know if they still sell it at other bookstores like Asiabooks. I scanned the cover, it might help you to find it. There is also an address that you might use.

[Cranky]

Can someone please explain why it is OK for our hosts to simply laugh out load as if I've just told a thigh-slapping-rib-tickler whenever I complain or point out something is not quite as it should be.

 

Case in point when explaining (much like the water leak story earlier) water does not actually run uphill so why the flying duck did you put the drain hole at the highest point in the bog, in the corner furthest from the shower.  HAHAHAHAHAHAH I get back.  Now, being a dumb farang I quite genuinely enquire what is so funny, you can guess the rest...

 

Face. Take it out, shoot it, bury it and consign it to history where it belongs, the world has evolved; deal with it.  I for one have had enough of it being used  - and accepted - to explain everything from total incompetence to being caught stealing, or worse. 

[Jip99]

6 minutes ago, Cranky said:

Can someone please explain why it is OK for our hosts to simply laugh out load as if I've just told a thigh-slapping-rib-tickler whenever I complain or point out something is not quite as it should be.

 

Case in point when explaining (much like the water leak story earlier) water does not actually run uphill so why the flying duck did you put the drain hole at the highest point in the bog, in the corner furthest from the shower.  HAHAHAHAHAHAH I get back.  Now, being a dumb farang I quite genuinely enquire what is so funny, you can guess the rest...

 

Face. Take it out, shoot it, bury it and consign it to history where it belongs, the world has evolved; deal with it.  I for one have had enough of it being used  - and accepted - to explain everything from total incompetence to being caught stealing, or worse. 

 

 

 

The same inane laughter occurs when they have narrowly missed death following misjudgement/ignorance of a driving manoevre.

 

 

[OneMoreFarang]

4 hours ago, Cranky said:

Face. Take it out, shoot it, bury it and consign it to history where it belongs, the world has evolved; deal with it.  I for one have had enough of it being used  - and accepted - to explain everything from total incompetence to being caught stealing, or worse. 

I have an idea about "Face" but I am not so sure if I completely understand the concept. I think it is a good idea to try that people don't lose face, especially in front of others. Most people all over the world don't like to be criticized, even if they are wrong. I think it's a good idea to tell people something like "did you thing about this and that option and maybe that is better ..." or something similar to that. That gives them a chance to accept criticism a lot easier at is someone says: You are wrong! You have to do it like this!

 

Unfortunately lots of Thais get even upset if someone tries to tell them nice and soft that maybe they are wrong...

[OneMoreFarang]

4 hours ago, Cranky said:

Can someone please explain why it is OK for our hosts to simply laugh out load as if I've just told a thigh-slapping-rib-tickler whenever I complain or point out something is not quite as it should be.

I am not sure if this is a good explanation, but I try. From time to time I play pool with a guy who has a hard time to relax. Sometimes, when he makes a mistake, he is really angry at himself and says something like "I am an idiot, why did I miss that simple shot" in an angry voice. And obviously after that he does not relax any better. Recently when I played with him I made a similar mistake and I said "great shot" and I laughed. He asked me why I am not angry and laugh and I told him: If I am angry at myself this situation is not going to get better. I laugh and hopefully my next shots are better. He though about it and at least that night he relaxed some more.

And I guess that is what your host tries to do. Laugh about it and hope the situation does not get serious. Because if she or others would take you serious then probably there would be no laughter and maybe even a bad atmosphere. I guess most hosts don't want a bad atmosphere - especially in Thailand.

[fordguy61mi]

13 hours ago, kenk24 said:

Effective...

 

but keep at it - being able to speak Thai is quite handy and fun if you live here. It will greatly enhance your Thai experience and enjoyment. 

I'm working on it. We have 6 more years here in the US before I get a pension, then off to Thailand at least in the winters (We live in Michigan, beautiful summers here). Hopefully I can manage enough functional Thai by then to get by without my wife talking for me all the time.

[stephen tracy]

On ‎11‎/‎13‎/‎2017 at 10:14 AM, Toscano said:

Many foreign men married to Thai women will tell you they are subjected to constant criticism .  Try to defend yourself and you are accused of starting an argument .  Many of us try to be too kind and gentle with these women , they need a strong partner to keep them in line , make them understand who's boss .  

Your wife is a very lucky lady.