Engagement and sin sod

[smotherb]

5 minutes ago, Destiny1990 said:

So u moving in what rent  is ur mother inlaw going to charge u?

Would not move-in with the in-laws.

[Destiny1990]

Just now, smotherb said:

Would not move-in with the in-laws.

Yeah me neither just get ur own house in the isarn town for goodness sake.?

[smotherb]

Just now, Destiny1990 said:

Yeah me neither just get ur own house in the isarn town for goodness sake.?

Would not live in Isaan either.

[exemplary21]

2 hours ago, Deli said:

Run man, run as long and as far as you can.

Moving in with a mother in law... think twice or even more often.

And paying a sin sod in 2017 ?

 

So you think he should wait until 2018?

 

It's only a month or so away...

[BEVUP]

Did not read all, as you might want to read a lot more on TV

37 not married ? What does that say since they start very young in Issan 

Living with Mum & looking after Neice (more like her daughter)

Oh Nurse & doing Masters degree - Same thing my friend got & ended up marrying 

Engagement - No such thing your either together or not

2 rings & 100,000 bht = A village marriage NOT an engagement ceremony 

[1FinickyOne]

22 minutes ago, smotherb said:

You seem to have overlooked the fact that we did have a "mutually agreed upon settlement."

 

 

You also seem to be confused on the issue of where the marriage takes place somehow cancelling-out the other’s culture. Peoples from different cultures need to understand the other and rid themselves of continued adherence to old-fashioned ideas which oppose the other’s culture. Furthermore, neither my son nor his wife intended on staying in Thailand.

 

 

As far as you taking exception to my opinion that sin sot is no more than a bar fine, that is your problem, not mine.  You say sin sot is a gift for the parents; that seems a very euphemistic way to put it, I see it as paying the parents for the right to have sex with their daughter. That, to me, is very similar to paying mama- and/or papa-san for the privilege to have sex with one of their girls.  You also state that a bar fine is nightly rental, at the rate of sin sot, it would be more long-term than nightly.

 

 

If you had no objection to paying for your bride; that is your choice. I see it as a bar fine.

 

 

As far as the new car smell; indeed, that is part of the issue. You see, the older the bride the less likely she is still virgin and the fact that she is still unmarried at this late date may indicate some shortcoming in her being. Please note, I said “less likely” and “may indicate.”

 

Sure, I knew you would have a comeback... I said I don't really care what your kid does - seems all mutually acceptable... as life should be.... not all of us view life and women in terms of bar fines, expiration dates  and new car smells... that is your choice. 

 

we all have our own - thankfully, I didn't have to marry a virgin... there is a middle ground between virgin and bargirl.. 

though you might not get that, based on your culture. 

[smotherb]

1 hour ago, steven100 said:

and they all should come running after you because you are so handsome ...

You have said similar things before. Do you have so little self-appreciation? I cannot understand the many farangs who rationalize a financial relationship with their wives/gfs. If she is with you only for the money, what value is that for you? Maybe I am too egotistical, but I want a woman who is with me because she wants to be. It seems so many farangs pay their wives/gfs a salary just to stay with them.

[AlQaholic]

RUN!!!! or tell em your gonna get married in your home country and there it is customary that the Brides mother gifts 10 zebras to the groom and dances a wedding dance at the wedding.

[steven100]

2 minutes ago, smotherb said:

You have said similar things before. Do you have so little self-appreciation? I cannot understand the many farangs who rationalize a financial relationship with their wives/gfs. If she is with you only for the money, what value is that for you? Maybe I am too egotistical, but I want a woman who is with me because she wants to be. It seems so many farangs pay their wives/gfs a salary just to stay with them.

yes but .... I am sure she does want some amount of security, that would apply anywhere I would expect.  If some 65yr old farang thinks he can come to Thailand and sweep a 25-35 yr old sweetheart off her feet without giving something then he is mistaken.  She would like him for companionship, someone to enjoy the days with,  and yes, some form of support. 

[mlmcleod]

Sin Sod is BS.  Just another way to soak a farang!  

[RichardColeman]

I'd make sure the niece is a niece first and not her daughter ! .Personally I would not pay it - you will after all be taking care of the family, and this 'girl' is 37, is well past her best days youth wise. I married my wife  - she was 37 - I paid nothing, she was not a bar girl - she was a school teacher. But she knew I would help her family if I needed too. If you pay it - pay it after she signs - not before. You could well be just another in a long line of people. You may find when you come to sign, there is suddenly a reason why she can not.

[smotherb]

1 minute ago, kenk24 said:

Sure, I knew you would have a comeback... I said I don't really care what your kid does - seems all mutually acceptable... as life should be.... not all of us view life and women in terms of bar fines, expiration dates  and new car smells... that is your choice. 

 

we all have our own - thankfully, I didn't have to marry a virgin... there is a middle ground between virgin and bargirl.. 

though you might not get that, based on your culture. 

I do not measure every thing in bar-fines, expiration dates and new car smells. However, when sin sot is concerned they all seem an integral part of the assessment of how much to pay. Certainly there is a middle ground, but I prefer a virgin, would not likely choose one who had been with other men, and would not even consider a woman with kids. However, that is my choice. You, of course, may do as you choose. 

[smotherb]

11 minutes ago, steven100 said:

yes but .... I am sure she does want some amount of security, that would apply anywhere I would expect.  If some 65yr old farang thinks he can come to Thailand and sweep a 25-35 yr old sweetheart off her feet without giving something then he is mistaken.  She would like him for companionship, someone to enjoy the days with,  and yes, some form of support. 

I believe a man has to have something to offer a woman other than money. I also would not want a woman who could only spread her legs as her contribution to the relationship. I suggest any old man who has something going for him to choose a younger woman who is intelligent, productive and wants him; someone who could contribute to the relationship rather than just drawing from it. If she has few marketable skills, help her get an education, a good job, and self-esteem. Help her be able to support herself and not need you financially; then, when she stays you know you have something. If she leaves, well, maybe you made a bad choice; such is life. However, if money is all you have to offer her, well then a financial relationship is all you can get.

[smotherb]

19 minutes ago, mlmcleod said:

Sin Sod is BS.  Just another way to soak a farang!  

Learn a little more of Thai society my good man. Sin sot is also for Thais, not just to soak a farang.

[BuddyDean]

Living with MIL and an illegitimate kids......the nurse might make 15k.....sounds like Hell to me...and rough on your own finances.  Cars motorbikes, medical bills, tuition....there will be something new every week, if not day.

[Mantadive]

I simply put the money into a joint account and showed the bank book all were satisfied 

[PerkinsCuthbert]

Have to say, before I read about it in ThaiVisa, in thirty years here I'd never heard of sin sod.

I must have led a charmed life.

[Destiny1990]

When a farang gay and a thai gay marry why then the farang gay needs to pay the Sin Sod?

[sead]

I want to know how long you have been together and how often you see her?

[brewsterbudgen]

Have to say, before I read about it in ThaiVisa, in thirty years here I'd never heard of sin sod.
I must have led a charmed life.

Plenty of expats live here without the remotest interest in the culture!

Sent from my SM-G930F using Thailand Forum - Thaivisa mobile app

[brewsterbudgen]

When a farang gay and a thai gay marry why then the farang gay needs to pay the Sin Sod?

If the farang is the husband then why not?

Sent from my SM-G930F using Thailand Forum - Thaivisa mobile app

[puffy]

16 hours ago, mlmcleod said:

Sin Sod is BS.  Just another way to soak a farang!  

But Sin Sod is not exclusively for Farang, Thai people pay it also.

It is only Farang who complain, because it is not part of their culture.

Yet they are happy to buy an engagement ring costing a months salary

and shell out near 1 million baht on the wedding in the west which is near how much

the average wedding costs in the west.

And anyone who equates this to a bar fine must think buying anything ever for someone

else is the same as a bar fine, Only a person who takes hookers and probably been scammed

before, has this distorted view of reality and women.

[alien365]

4 hours ago, Deli said:

Run man, run as long and as far as you can.

Moving in with a mother in law... think twice or even more often.

And paying a sin sod in 2017 ?

 

I live with the  in laws and things are great. My wife and I work  rather long hours so they clean the house, cook every meal for us, do the laundry, cut the grass and keep the garden looking nice. They never ask for any money  and don't demand anything from me. Yet their faces light up when they see us come home from work every day.

 

I do understand how it is not for everyone though, and I guess my situation is more of an exception.

[tryasimight]

3 hours ago, Destiny1990 said:

So u moving in what rent  is ur mother inlaw going to charge u?

I thought English was the only acceptable language in this forum.

[Eddie664]

2 hours ago, BEVUP said:

Did not read all, as you might want to read a lot more on TV

37 not married ? What does that say since they start very young in Issan 

Living with Mum & looking after Neice (more like her daughter)

Oh Nurse & doing Masters degree - Same thing my friend got & ended up marrying 

Engagement - No such thing your either together or not

2 rings & 100,000 bht = A village marriage NOT an engagement ceremony 

There are several girls in Thailand that are around 37+ that have never been married. Know some and have a Thai friend in Norway who knows several.

This is not in a village, but in one of the larger cities in Isaan. Some still practice engagement, but not all :)

Niece or daughter not sure, but have to find out........

[Eddie664]

1 hour ago, sead said:

I want to know how long you have been together and how often you see her?

Known her for about 6 months and have seen her everyday after she finished work for the last 3 months.

[Ridler]

2017 and foreign man are still falling for that old trick, and others are encouraging it

if you were in the US or Europe would you pay it? No you wouldn’t but come to Thailand and you go all stupid

[PerkinsCuthbert]

1 hour ago, brewsterbudgen said:

Plenty of expats live here without the remotest interest in the culture!

Sent from my SM-G930F using Thailand Forum - Thaivisa mobile app
 

A sadly ignorant response. You know nothing of my background.

Do try to post something a little more knowledgeable.

[Eddie664]

Just now, Ridler said:

2017 and foreign man are still falling for that old trick, and others are encouraging it

if you were in the US or Europe would you pay it? No you wouldn’t but come to Thailand and you go all stupid

Thai culture and US/Europe culture are to different tihngs.

[brewsterbudgen]

A sadly ignorant response. You know nothing of my background.

Do try to post something a little more knowledgeable.

I know nothing about you. But I stand by my comment, which was made about expats in general, but could understandably be applied to your, rather lacking in knowledge about Thai culture, post.

 

Sent from my SM-G930F using Thailand Forum - Thaivisa mobile app