Which bars to meet 'decent' girls?

[Thetyim]

You said she was smart.

So she will not continue at the same bar but get a new job in another bar. Your poor friend will have to visit every Girlie bar in BKK before you get back, poor lad.

[simon43]

Sure, but she does not know I'm going to check on her this week. If he sees her just the one time then that's enough for me. But you are right - I could run round chasing my tail on this one if I have any doubts.  And if that's the case then I'll just walk away...

[Brian]

Lets now play spot the lie. I'll go first.

She says that she earns 8,000 Bht per month from just working the bar.

Sorry, but the bar owner would quickly go broke at that rate. It is very unlikely that she would earn more than 1,500.

So she has to suppliment this income somehow, and the only ways that she knows how are in the Karma Sutra...

[simon43]

That's what I meant.  She earns about 8,000 bht per month from the naughty stuff with customers

[Brian]

I know the sequence of events to follow on your subsequent trips..

Trip 1) Gold Shop (if this hasn't already occurred)

Trip 2) Mobile Telephone Shop (even if she already has a phone, she will want a newer, smaller, more expensive one). And her old phone, she will want to pass to her mother, father, brother or sister, but in fact she will sell it to one of her friends.

Trip 3) Motorcycle Shop

Trip 4) Real Estate Agent...

[simon43]

Ha! There ain't going to be any gold shop or the rest! I don't need this girl (and maybe she doesn't need me). I'm just trying to be a good samaritan. Sometimes people take advantage of my good nature, but other times the result has been truly rewarding. I know you probably speak from good knowledge of situations like this, but let's wait and see the outcome (which, indeed is likely to be a no no)

[Thetyim]

Any chance you could come back a bit quicker I'm busting to know what happens  ??

Go for it, boy.  Enjoy it while it lasts.

By the way, why are you shown as a Senior Member,

did you take an exam or does it refer to your private parts ??

[poohbah]

Simon,

If you have not already, perhaps you should read Stephen Leather's, "Private Dancer". Yes, it stereotypes and is generally an overly dramatic, worst case scenario take on the farang-bar girl situation, but it is still an interesting read. Basically, though  the story is based on a compilation of real events that he has collected over 15 years.

Free for download at http://www.stephenleather.com/unpub.html

[simon43]

..no idea about the senior member bit..ask George..I just post a load of rubbish here from time to time:)

I'll give that story a read...though maybe it will scare the hel_l out of me about bar-girls:)

Anyway, I'll keep you all updated re events - good or bad!

[Brian]

Hey Hey. I just noticed that all of us on this page are seniors...

[elliss]

where can i get hold off exxtra large hankerchief,s in bangkok.

what,s the name of the dame and bar she work,s , i,ll go under -cover for you,  no fee just expenses, and a second opinion. :blues:

[george]

Good boys are always promoted...

[Brian]

They're all hookers. Every one of them. Pay their

bar fines, take them to a short-time hotel, screw your brains out, then pay them. But whatever you do,

don't get involved. Trust me, it's not worth it."

Excellent quote from Stephen Leather's book.

[singa-traz]

Should we rename LOS, to LOI, Land Of Illusions ... our own Illusions ...  ???

[Brian]

Allways Remember.

No matter how Sexy, Cute, Beautiful she is....

Somewhere... There is a guy who is sick of putting up with her shit.

[bryanjackson]

hey simon,

you do sound like a simple stupid simon to me.  you don't get the picture do you?? if you want more than a short time ######, then dont look in the bars.  never mind, go to the bars and you will get what you deserve.

[simon43]

Oh what a short-sighted and selfish attitude you have! Think bad of everyone who is worse-off than yourself then? Fine - hope you have a happy life.  

Me, I have a very happy life. I enjoy bar-girls and I also enjoy helping those people who are prepared to help themselves. Sure, I get my fingers burnt sometimes, but so what. I've got more chance of getting into that pearly paradise that a thick oaf like you

[Morgan]

Cant see why you think you are offering the girl such a great deal, leave your job go out with me if it works out O.K. If not back to the bar? Is making love part of the deal are you going to pay the going rate to the girl while you find out if you get on. From her point of view your just another punter who came to the bar and paid for sex. So your not going to look very trustworthey in her eyes. All you are offering is a MAYBE and by  the sound of it very little cash no condo/mobilephone/bills payed/shoping trips /or even a one baht gold necklace. I think the girls are just a little smarter than that.   

Morgan

[Rinrada]

Right Chaps ..who wants to meet Lei-Lie.24 years of age,non B.G.Nice lady and has shop with sister in Theparak, but please no A/Hs.Tomorrow my last night in LOS and my appointments book full so will forward any replys (email me)on r/t to the Smoke..... :cool:

[elliss]

please enlighten  me ,  a/hs

     1  absent husbands

      2 after hours

      3 alcoholic hopefulls

      4 abstaining has beens [has beans]

    sorry, i can only score two out of four.   regards

[Thetyim]

My guess is that a/hs stands for the part of your anatomy that you can only see with the help of a mirror.

[D80]

Hmmm... Just got back to check out this topic again... it's been diverted a bit, hasn't it....

Simon, all I'll say is 'be careful', the rest is up to you.

As for meeting nice girls... sometimes I wonder where people who complain about not being able to meet nice girls have been looking.  I know loads of nice girls who would not mind meeting non-Thai men (as in ---> They are not specifically out to get a western boyfriend but are willing to get to know men from different cultural backgrounds).  There are loads of people like that but (definitely/more or less) not in the red light district areas.  

Good luck anyway, whatever you do.

[Wei]

I agree with D80! There are many nice girls out there who would not mind meeting non-Thai guy, just that over the years, 'Thai girls + Western guys' has created a very stereotype and one sided perception by the society.  

[jasonc]

Simon,

I think you knew you were opening a topic of much heated debate, didn't you.

I commend your staunch position on making up your own mind. Beware the comments of disgruntled expats who were not careful enough to avoid getting burned many times before. Their mission is to stereotype all girls into their own experiences. That said, the reason that there are so many people willing to take the time to debate this subject is because many of these horror stories are correct.

I have become friends with 2 ex-bar girls. I have no plans to have relationships with them other than friendly. I have been given the opportunity to know them as real girls and they are just that. Rural girls who were tempted by big money. I also got to know some of their 'bar sisters' and I can say with certainty that they were NOT good girls. If I was a customer, I would have been fooled though. They lie every day and play mind games like western teen aged girls. It is a very interesting sociological insider point of view, believe me! You don't want to see it!

My point is that my chosen friends are indeed good girls. Neither are working girls any more but they both were last year when I met them and not because of me nor promises I made to them. I do not support them. I do support their actions and I treat them like adults. Keep in mind that this comes at a cost as well... I have been a good guy to these two girls for a while now. I buy their children gifts, I see them all the time, I'm honest to them and as a result they are both in love with me. Not what I'm looking for... University girls are more my speed. I have always communicated with my two friends that we will never be a pair and but they tend not to listen to me about that.

What provoked me to write to you was the fact that you were mentioning the pearly gates. You must NOT think of your actions as something you need to do to SAVE these poor girls! Bad news if you are. Remove your religious righteousness from your mind on this topic. You are not saving anyone. Yes you could have a dramatic impact on the potential future of an exbar girl but that future is a far reaching potential. They are not thinking of working at the bar to pay for their university education. Maybe you've watched "Pretty Woman" too many times... If you are Christian, I think you will be greatly disappointed in the long term behaviors of a girl who would work in the bar at any time of her life. Buddhists don't have sin like Christians do. if you are serious about looking for an inter cultural relationship you might have better luck with girls in the Philippines. They are similar to Thai girls but Catholic.

In short, be very honest with her and YOURSELF. See the signs, they will be in front of your face if you choose to see them. Don't make any promises you have no intentions of keeping. Make up your own mind. Lastly, and most importantly, don't do anything because you feel it is righteous.

So why do I read these forums and this post specifically... because the sexist pig in me finds them very funny... but the humanist side of me doesn't agree with the ###### um and drop them off on the corner mentality. Rather ###### um and be decent to them but don't get fooled. :cool:

[simon43]

Thanks very much for that very interesting reply! I can tell you that I am not religious at all!  I just consider myself a reasonably kind and open-minded guy.  If I can do some 'good' in this world then maybe I will have a good time on the other side, wherever that might be.

I'm well into my forties now and have played with bar-girls in many countries over the years, both in Europe and Asia.  So I certainly agree that the vast majority of them are working because they are either rural poor, and have no choice, or enjoy exactly what they are doing, and don't want any farang to try to entice them away:)

But I have also encountered (very rarely), the bar-girl who works because she thinks she has no other option, and has lost faith in anyway actually being a good samaritan and be willing to help her, regardless of whether she returns their gratitude (in whatever form).

This girl that I met (now about 1 week ago), seems to fit that bill.  She seems smart enough and has the will to make a good life for herself. (By 'good' I'm not knocking bar-girl work, but I mean a job that perhaps generates a more regular income).

I told her that if she really wanted to achieve her ambitions, then I was willing to help her, but she had to have will-power to push herself, and she had to stop bar-work.

OK - The vast majority of visitors to this forum have ridiculed me for my actions, but I can tell you (because an 'associate' has visited the bars every night for the past week), that she has not worked.

I'm not interested in what gratitude she gives back to me.  I am seriously following a relationship with another girl. My contentment will be if she stays off the bar-work and, with my help - gets herself a decent job and future.

Here ends the first lesson from Saint Simon

[Brian]

Simon,

She hasn't been dancing because she's been in my hotel room every night since you left. I know that I have to give her back when you return.  

Please keep us informed how this pans out..

[simon43]

... and I thought she was being a good girl .. (well good for you maybe   )

[wolf5370]

Maybe we can make this a poll, will simon...

1) Get a bride

2) Get an overdraft

3) Get a front row seat

4) All of the above

...

Only joking Si, good luck (you'll need it)

:laugh:

[Brian]

Simon, I'll reply to your message in another thread into this thread so that we don't hijack Enchanted's thread. Although I think we have managed to hijack this thread anyway, but at least it was your thread to start off with....

You know I'm just winding you up... What I'm really waiting for is for you to see her evil ways and dump her... Then give me her details so that I can really find out if she is as cute as you say she is...

Sunook...

[pschef]

I agree with Brian, on the other hand. This story is about a guy living and working in Thailand, had a respectable business. He met his GF then to become wife in Robinsons, she was a sales assistant. Very polite nice looking, can speak a little English. Two years down the road, he finds out she has been seeing a Thai Man since the start. So now then where to find decent ladies, certainly not at Robinsons it seems :laugh: