Girl friend adopting my Son

[offset]

I have 100% rights over my son (with a court order) if I wanted my GF to adopt him would I need the permission form his mother

[happylarry]

Yes

HL

[Rhys]

Certainly, you have planned it out.

[offset]

8 hours ago, Rhys said:

Certainly, you have planned it out.

What if I cannot locate his mother does that mean she cannot adopt him

[dotpoom]

On 13/12/2017 at 8:26 PM, happylarry said:

Yes

HL

And rightfully so.....if a lady is going to lose all her rights as a Mother for the rest of her life...she should at least have a say in it ....if she has a possible choice.

   For so many years men didn't and it wasn't nice ....(to say the least).

 

 

 

[grumbleweed]

 

The legal side of it is overrated

Hearing a child call me dad, when she knows I'm not her real father,  is a fantastic feeling that no amount of paperwork could compare with

[thailand49]

Funny,  something is missing? 

 

Why would you want your girlfriend to adopt your child?  Is that your wish or hers, because it should be done willingly.

Regardless, you do need ex permission, beyond that see a lawyer.

[bangkoken]

Listen up. You cannot give your son to another woman without his maternal mothers consent. That's it. What do you think you can give parental rights away on your own? You need her to agree to giving up her parental rights and that has to be court approved.

[Emster23]

42 minutes ago, thailand49 said:

Funny,  something is missing? 

 

Why would you want your girlfriend to adopt your child?  Is that your wish or hers, because it should be done willingly.

Regardless, you do need ex permission, beyond that see a lawyer.

Exactly. If your gf legally adopts your son, then she also gets rights/power she can exert if things go wrong with her as I assume they did with the biological mother. What benefit do you see for you or your son? And I do wonder why you want her to have those rights yet have not married gf?

[bangkoken]

Listen up. You cannot give your son to another woman without his maternal mothers consent. That's it. What do you think you can give parental rights away on your own? You need her to agree to giving up her parental rights and that has to be court approved.

[Cranky]

Why would you want to do such a thing?  Wife yes, It's called a step-mother. 

[GOLDBUGGY]

On 12/14/2017 at 8:06 AM, offset said:

What if I cannot locate his mother does that mean she cannot adopt him

Of course through a Court Order you could do this. But as you already know this is not the easiest path or one you may even want to go down. The mother is also under no obligation to give you any extra rights to this child, even if you find her. 

 

I think the first step in this process would be to show that every effort on your part to find the child's mother was taken. If you could do that and also show the mother has no interest in this child then you would probably get your Court Order. But time and money spent on doing this may not be worth it. 

[prism]

Sounds like a case of abandonment from your son's mother, I'll assume that you were never married to her. Any plans on marrying your GF? Makes sense that a court be more willing to grant adoption to a father's wife that his GF.

Edited December 18, 2017 by prism

[ola33]

I am totally shocked.

 

Go from 100% to 50% or 0% rights over your son if the relationship goes bad

 

Dont  you like your son?

 

 

[dfdgfdfdgs]

Also cannot see why anybody would want to do this unless there is some sort of tax/visa/bureaucratic benefit.

[thailand49]

4 hours ago, Cranky said:

Why would you want to do such a thing?  Wife yes, It's called a step-mother. 

Did I miss the point he was making, which is the reason I ask why?  we aren't talking wife, but girlfriend!

[offset]

47 minutes ago, thailand49 said:

Did I miss the point he was making, which is the reason I ask why?  we aren't talking wife, but girlfriend!

 

After what happen with my child's mom I would never marry a Thai lady

[FritsSikkink]

2 minutes ago, offset said:

 

After what happen with my child's mom I would never marry a Thai lady

So why give them your kid?

[offset]

1 hour ago, FritsSikkink said:

So why give them your kid?

 

Because at 73 years old I do not think I will live forever so I am just trying to plan the best for my child for his future 

[FritsSikkink]

24 minutes ago, offset said:

 

Because at 73 years old I do not think I will live forever so I am just trying to plan the best for my child for his future 

Then you should give marriage a thought as your kid will need money too after you die.

[offset]

1 hour ago, FritsSikkink said:

Then you should give marriage a thought as your kid will need money too after you die.

that is the problem why I asked about adoption to stop his mother getting hold of his land and money marriage is not an option

[m Stender]

this is the most crazy ideas I ever have heard, your GF, not your legal thai wife???????

YES, YOUR SONS MOTHER MUST GIVE HER CONSENT TO AN POSSIBLE STUPID ADOPTION, YOU SHOULD REALLY THINK AGAIN

[thailand49]

15 hours ago, offset said:

 

Because at 73 years old I do not think I will live forever so I am just trying to plan the best for my child for his future 

This is a good thing but are you thinking clearly and not desperate?  Reading between your post, one would assume your first wife is Thai?  then you reply

" because of that would never marry another Thai "  just in general... is a very good reason not to allow or push your Thai GF into the adoption.

It is all relative but there is not must of a future to have a child raise unless you are sending them to a good International school and the Thai women is westernized.

Think about this you basically don't trust your Thai GF, you die and she hooks up with a deadbeat Thai guy now your son is being raise and learning from this deadbeat?

Edited December 19, 2017 by thailand49

[offset]

10 hours ago, m Stender said:

this is the most crazy ideas I ever have heard, your GF, not your legal thai wife???????

YES, YOUR SONS MOTHER MUST GIVE HER CONSENT TO AN POSSIBLE STUPID ADOPTION, YOU SHOULD REALLY THINK AGAIN

 

Without knowing the circumstances you call my thinking stupid. I know if his mom got control of him again she will get somebody else to look after him like she planned to do before which was the reason I when thought 2 Court procedures so she could not do this before, she cannot get any of her relations to look after him because she cannot go back to her village where all her family live because she owes everybody money there, so it mean a stranger to me will be looking after him

 

I know the my GF looks after him very good now and he loves her very much so that is why I was thinking on the lines of adoption which I honestly think would be the best think for my son if anything happen to me

 

[offset]

7 minutes ago, thailand49 said:

This is a good thing but are you thinking clearly and not desperate?  Reading between your post, one would assume your first wife is Thai?  then you reply

" because of that would never marry another Thai "  just in general... is a very good reason not to allow or push your Thai GF into the adoption.

It is all relative but there is not must of a future to have a child raise unless you are sending them to a good International school and the Thai women is westernized.

Think about this you basically don't trust your Thai GF, you die and she hooks up with a deadbeat Thai guy now your son is being raise and learning from this deadbeat?

 

My son now goes to a school that is in the top 300 schools in Thailand (there are over 31000 schools in Thailand) and he likes being there, my GF speaks very good English and was a teacher for 5 years

 

I know where and what his mother is doing now which is another reason why I am looking at alternatives to my son going back to her

 

 

[thailand49]

5 hours ago, offset said:

 

My son now goes to a school that is in the top 300 schools in Thailand (there are over 31000 schools in Thailand) and he likes being there, my GF speaks very good English and was a teacher for 5 years

 

I know where and what his mother is doing now which is another reason why I am looking at alternatives to my son going back to her

 

 

The word I use " relative "  do you understand the term?

This is just my opinion since you put yourself out by posting your situation that is normally the situation you get positive and negative replies.  I'm merely pointing out the words out of your own mouth.

Now when it comes to education here and experts outside and even many Thai national scholars criticize Thailand how bad the system is so top 300 out of 31000 my assumption you are talking Thai Government schools. In my opinion and other expert I stand by my opinion regarding the education system here. You do know that majority if not all his academic studies wouldn't even be accepted if he were to live in a western country? The fact you stated the numbers in education just shows how little you know in regards to it here in Thailand.  As for your girlfriend speaking English and you son liking the school doesn't change a thing that government school are no more than a baby sitting service. The more you respond the  more confusing your situation gets by you adding more information which you have left out in your original post. 

My assumption is the girlfriend who speaks English the one you want to adopt you son?  The mother of your son " you know where she is what she is doing looking for alternative going back to her "  as I noted yes you are looking for alternatives but seem lost in my opinion?  if that is the case why are you even thinking about having your girlfriend (speaks English) adopt your child?

Edited December 19, 2017 by thailand49

[offset]

17 minutes ago, thailand49 said:

The word I use " relative "  do you understand the term?

This is just my opinion since you put yourself out by posting your situation that is normally the situation you get positive and negative replies.  I'm merely pointing out the words out of your own mouth.

Now when it comes to education here and experts outside and even many Thai national scholars criticize Thailand how bad the system is so top 300 out of 31000 my assumption you are talking Thai Government schools. In my opinion and other expert I stand by my opinion regarding the education system here. You do know that majority if not all his academic studies wouldn't even be accepted if he were to live in a western country? The fact you stated the numbers in education just shows how little you know in regards to it here in Thailand.  As for your girlfriend speaking English and you son liking the school doesn't change a thing that government school are no more than a baby sitting service. The more you respond the  more confusing your situation gets by you adding more information which you have left out in your original post. 

My assumption is the girlfriend who speaks English the one you want to adopt you son?  The mother of your son " you know where she is what she is doing looking for alternative going back to her "  as I noted yes you are looking for alternatives but seem lost in my opinion?  if that is the case why are you even thinking about having your girlfriend (speaks English) adopt your child?

No he is not in a Government school he is in a fee paying school in a Thai/English program, (if with his mother he would be in a government school) it seems like you assume a lot, we have not been with his mother for over 3 years so I am not looking for any alternatives to going back with his mother which I will never do 

 

 

 

 

 

[thailand49]

3 hours ago, offset said:

No he is not in a Government school he is in a fee paying school in a Thai/English program, (if with his mother he would be in a government school) it seems like you assume a lot, we have not been with his mother for over 3 years so I am not looking for any alternatives to going back with his mother which I will never do 

 

 

 

 

 

I don't really want to use the word, but anyone reading the exchanges think I'm out of line feel free to let me know.

Politely, I would just say you are a guy " the light is on but there isn't anyone home"

First, based on your own words coming out of your naive mouth,  there isn't 31,000 fee paying schools in Thailand. As noted, as long as he isn't attending a true International school ( which I don't expect everyone to because they are damn expensive ), even the fee paying ones need to follow the Thai mandate of learning which isn't very much. As noted, you need to do more research into the Thai school system instead of concluding just because your son likes the school and GF speaks English that all is fine.

I don't assume anything just commenting on your "all over the place comments" and I never assume. Want I meant was you want your GF to adopt your son but never again want to marry another Thai women yet you are looking into the alternative that your son goes back to the mother,  I assume if something happens to you? Now stop for a minute before you jump the gun and say you didn't say that go back and look!

I think the big question everyone wants to know with all you have said is why do you want your GF to adopt your son?  Do you even know the process of doing so in Thailand?  I do I've been through it and it isn't easy but maybe if a Thai adopt anything is possible.

Due me a favor don't respond not that I don't want you answer but you be better serve spending you time trying to find out why you want the do the things you do?

Good luck with your problem!

Edited December 19, 2017 by thailand49

[offset]

45 minutes ago, thailand49 said:

I don't really want to use the word, but anyone reading the exchanges think I'm out of line feel free to let me know.

Politely, I would just say you are a guy " the light is on but there isn't anyone home"

First, based on your own words coming out of your naive mouth,  there isn't 31,000 fee paying schools in Thailand. As noted, as long as he isn't attending a true International school ( which I don't expect everyone to because they are damn expensive ), even the fee paying ones need to follow the Thai mandate of learning which isn't very much. As noted, you need to do more research into the Thai school system instead of concluding just because your son likes the school and GF speaks English that all is fine.

I don't assume anything just commenting on your "all over the place comments" and I never assume. Want I meant was you want your GF to adopt your son but never again want to marry another Thai women yet you are looking into the alternative that your son goes back to the mother,  I assume if something happens to you? Now stop for a minute before you jump the gun and say you didn't say that go back and look!

I think the big question everyone wants to know with all you have said is why do you want your GF to adopt your son?  Do you even know the process of doing so in Thailand?  I do I've been through it and it isn't easy but maybe if a Thai adopt anything is possible.

Due me a favor don't respond not that I don't want you answer but you be better serve spending you time trying to find out why you want the do the things you do?

Good luck with your problem!

I will answer you this last time I did not say there were 31000 fee paying schools in Thailand I said there were 31000 schools in Thailand including all government and fee paying schools, the league of results were based on the ONET results from all schools

 

I am not stupid I know how bad the school system is in Thailand but another option I have is to take him to the UK which I am also considering which would mean that I will be alone with him because I not have any close family in the UK but then I have to consider what will happen to him if I am sick or die

 

I am just considering all the options open to me I am not being vindictive but I do honestly not believe the best thing for him would not have to go back to his mother but if that was the only option open to me it would have to be

 

In my first post I only asked a question which I got my answer by the first poster but I looked and listen to all the poster that sent their advice even yours

 

Different to what you think of me I am only trying to find the best thing for my son for the rest of his life and if you knew about his more about his mother you might think different of me

 

 

[maoro2013]

On 12/18/2017 at 8:40 AM, bangkoken said:

Listen up. You cannot give your son to another woman without his maternal mothers consent. That's it. What do you think you can give parental rights away on your own? You need her to agree to giving up her parental rights and that has to be court approved.

In some cases the mother cannot be located in which case the court may rule in favour of the adoption and may depend on the child's wishes and other factors for instance the ability of the adoptive parents to support the child.