Last note from murdered Italian to Thai wife: "You said it was love. But you just wanted my money"

[dfdgfdfdgs]

2 minutes ago, thaibeachlovers said:

Nah, that doesn't work. They just think that if they get married they will be able to get the money anyway.

 

Then make it clear you have no interest in getting married.  In 2018 getting married should be the exception not the norm anyway.

[caulfield2]

You can always try this trick.

 

If you're on a first or second date, take her into a clothing store (in Colombia, it was Studio F) like Gap or maybe Zara or H&M, and see what she attempts to get you to buy for her.  A simple t-shirt?  Nothing? Something more expensive, like shoes or a handbag?

 

Of course, as someone mentioned, that's still not going to catch the "long con" girls.

 

Having been married twice with 10-15 year age differences, I'd say it makes a lot more difference if the girl is closer to 20 and has yet to really experience the world, have a job, make new friends...if I had it to do over, I would never have married a (Russian) model at that age, because almost nobody's really ready at that point, especially to give up their travel, ambitions and be a full-time mother.   Our biggest problem was that she started having a schedule (going to university full-time, working as a hostess/server in a high end restaurant 20-25 hours per week and most of the weekend when I was free)...she started collecting a pile of business cards 5 inches thick from all the men who hit on her despite a wedding ring, and then she started going clubbing and hanging out after work most of the time because she'd never had that type of freedom back home with her stepfather.   That was my fault, because we got engaged within just one week after spending 3-4 months speaking on the phone everyday for at least a couple of hours.  Still not the same as real life, when you travel/spend/buy things, it's very rare you see the normal problems that couples encounter when they get bored or fall into a routine.

 

I think the age difference isn't quite so bad when it's like 45 or 30, but that all depends on your lifestyle...either raising a family together (or with grandparent/s) or deciding not to do that so you can both pursue your ambitions.

 

Of course, the biggest challenge is figuring out a way to be "fair" about money...and being generous without buying someone but not being a Cheap Charlie at the same time, or deliberately testing everyone you date because you're paranoid someone won't or can't like you for yourself.

 

 

Edited January 23, 2018 by caulfield2
grammar

[cardinalblue]

Dog training manual mentioned above is probably inappropriate....

 

operant learning techniques for  children are quite effective though....

[SGD]

2 hours ago, dfdgfdfdgs said:

Thai girls on a con job won't be in it for the long haul after a week of frugal living.  There are so many marks, they'll just go to an easier target.

 

A lot of foreign guys live in really nice condos, they're like palaces compared to where the average Isaan girl lives.  Even just that on its own is enough for a girl to stick around.  Take her back to a 3000 a month apartment with no aircon or flush toilet and see if she meets you again.

 

When you set out in life, hoping to have for yourself and for your kids a better life than the one you experienced as a child, as I did and likely you did, would you really quit looking when you were presented with the same or marginally better home life than you had yourself ?

 

No, you pass on by and keep on looking.

 

 

2 hours ago, dfdgfdfdgs said:

Was talking to a girl off one of the dating sites and she agreed to meet me in my apartment.  She was already on her way on the BTS and I mentioned offhand that my room had no aircon because she said it was hot outside.  She cancelled there and then and never spoke to me again.

 

Another girl we were going to go down to the south islands for a trip and she asked me where we would stay.  I said I don't care where I stay when I go on a trip because I don't spend much time in the hotel.  She suggested a 3700 baht a night place with a jacuzzi.  I countered with an 800 baht a night hotel (steep by my standards actually).  She cancelled the trip.

 

It's easy to suss out the golddiggers.

 

If Bt800 is steep then truly, you need to re-evaluate your benchmarks as that is existence level, not holiday style.
 

Her suggestion showed some desire for a nice trip, with a nod and a wink to what might be an ideal level of comfort for her. It would be normal for a holiday to be a step up in luxury for most people would it not ?

 

In any case, a top hotel would run you much more than Bt3700, which might be considered a daily food budget really. I can see why she might not be enthusiastic at the thought of quasi begpacking with her latest beau from the interweb. I'd have dumped you in a heartbeat as well.

[Easy Come Easy Go]

2 hours ago, darksidedog said:

Not the first and sadly not going to be the last farang to think he has found true love, only to realise it was his Bank Account that was attractive, not him.

The trick is to meet  Thai girl who has a high status job to begin with, i.e bank manger or doctor, and not a bar girl.. That's what I did anyways.

[Dumbfounded]

The lady on the run is a long time yabba/ice addict. Her Italian husband (village ceremony) only visited for 2-3 weeks per quarter spending most of his time in Italy and she is usually running around Pattaya with some Russians when he was not here. The body was discovered approx 4km from the lady's house. I know this as we have a house in the same soi as she in Lamrang, where my in-laws live. I have met the lady on several occasions with her previous Russian boyfriend who paid for her house to be built before he was kicked out. Her Thai husband left her a long time ago and she has 2 kids (6&13) being looked after by the GPs. My wife went to school with her and they are still friends (sort of, in that we would stop and talk for 5 mins when we see her) but you can see something in her eyes that's not quite right and the locals know to keep a safe distance. She slashed the French mans face not long ago after he tried to force his way into her house. Just thought I'd throw in some background info as not a lot has been posted by the media

[caulfield2]

It's not too hard to meet doctors that went to Chula...they're often interested in at least the possibility of going to work abroad, so that's ONE reason they're intrigued by being with a foreigner, besides the fact that Western men can handle the jealousy (not being #1 priority when you're married to your career) and not being able to control someone a lot better than the average Asian guy.  Of course, there are exceptions.

 

It must have been a decade ago, my salary was like 26,000 at a public university and my g/f was earning at least 100,000 combined from her public hospital work and private side gig.   She also had her own car.  That was a nice feeling after a year of songtaews, tuk tuks, motorcycle taxis, etc.

 

 

[Lupatria]

3 hours ago, robblok said:

Yes but you see it more often by large age gap relations (not all of course before i get crucified here for telling it as it is). Good real large age gap relations exists but its like winning the lottery everyone talks about it but few actually win. 

 

In almost all of these stories where an g/f wife kills her husband there is a large age gap and the lady is after the money.

 

Only thing i can say about this.. be careful.. evaluate your relationship to see if your just a meal ticket or if she genuinely wants to stay with you. 

 

Then the old (and told many times) saying make sure your not worth more dead then alive. 

 

I really hope the ex wife and this French guy get the harshest punishment there is. 

Instead of blaming the age gap you may as well blame the wishful thinking of an aging fool. However, R.I.P. Frenchman.

[Bluespunk]

4 minutes ago, Dumbfounded said:

The lady on the run is a long time yabba/ice addict. Her Italian husband (village ceremony) only visited for 2-3 weeks per quarter spending most of his time in Italy and she is usually running around Pattaya with some Russians when he was not here. The body was discovered approx 4km from the lady's house. I know this as we have a house in the same soi as she in Lamrang, where my in-laws live. I have met the lady on several occasions with her previous Russian boyfriend who paid for her house to be built before he was kicked out. Her Thai husband left her a long time ago and she has 2 kids (6&13) being looked after by the GPs. My wife went to school with her and they are still friends (sort of, in that we would stop and talk for 5 mins when we see her) but you can see something in her eyes that's not quite right and the locals know to keep a safe distance. She slashed the French mans face not long ago after he tried to force his way into her house. Just thought I'd throw in some background info as not a lot has been posted by the media

"She slashed the French mans face not long ago after he tried to force his way into her house."

 

That seems fair enough to me.

 

Got to wonder, if what you say is correct, whether the Thai woman or the French guy was the more dangerous of these two.

Edited January 23, 2018 by Bluespunk

[caulfield2]

3 minutes ago, Dumbfounded said:

The lady on the run is a long time yabba/ice addict. Her Italian husband (village ceremony) only visited for 2-3 weeks per quarter spending most of his time in Italy and she is usually running around Pattaya with some Russians when he was not here. The body was discovered approx 4km from the lady's house. I know this as we have a house in the same soi as she in Lamrang, where my in-laws live. I have met the lady on several occasions with her previous Russian boyfriend who paid for her house to be built before he was kicked out. Her Thai husband left her a long time ago and she has 2 kids (6&13) being looked after by the GPs. My wife went to school with her and they are still friends (sort of, in that we would stop and talk for 5 mins when we see her) but you can see something in her eyes that's not quite right and the locals know to keep a safe distance. She slashed the French mans face not long ago after he tried to force his way into her house. Just thought I'd throw in some background info as not a lot has been posted by the media

It's not uncommon for domestic violence to factor into these situations....sure, money might be at the root....but there are a lot of people with psychological issues who don't know how to resolve conflict in a mature way and tend to resort to violence.  That's why it's always another good rule to spend as much time as possible with her best friends and family to get a good sense of what kind of person she is.  You can often judge a person by the company they keep, although nothing is 100% obviously.

[wvavin]

Love? Whoever think of love must be a fool. It is all about money.

[Dazinoz]

2 hours ago, HooHaa said:

speak for yourself.

all of my thai partners have been fine.

How many is ALL? If they are fine why ALL? 

[sandrew33]

2 hours ago, robblok said:

I have no idea.. I hope for your sake you know. I just posted some generalities that are true. I don't presume to know the ins and outs of everyone their relations. Never said all age gap relations are doomed to fail or to end up in murder.

 

Just mentioned that in the news articles we read about most murders there is almost always a big age gap. Can't recall many that have no age gap or were of similar age. But there must be countless age gap relations and not all of them end in murder. I do think that a lot of them are based on money (not bad just not my choice). I got an age gap too with my current gf. 14 years. 

 

Arent you only 30 though??

[wavemanwww]

It can also work both ways. I know a lovely Thai woman who is a close friend of my LONG term Thai wife. Her friends Aussie husband died about a year ago. They were both in love and had lived a few years together by this stage and he bought a house whilst living together. She worked here not relying on his handouts to support her family back home, as most if not all Thais do.

 

Well her husband died last year from cancer at a youngish age. The brother straight away flew up from Sydney took over their family home and locked her out of her own home. Then put the house on the market knowing it's worth a few bucks,

 

I told my wife her friend has a good case to take him to court as she is a legal wife, and thus owns at least as a minimum half the house. My wife said, she doesn't want to upset the family but is very sad for how they treated her. Her attitude was, "life goes on"!.

 

So in summation: Falangs can be as greedy as Thais! Don't be too quick to judge.

[robblok]

6 minutes ago, sandrew33 said:

 

Arent you only 30 though??

How I wish... though the age gap with the GF would give some problems then could end up in jail. I am 43.

[7of9rocks]

3 hours ago, petedk said:

How about making a few thousand photocopies of that letter and handing it to foreign men as they arrive at the airport?

 

Sad story though. Similar stories of murder or suicide seem to happen far too often.

a long time ago, before landing at the airport, the flight attendants would pass out pieces of paper to each passenger, informing us that the penalty for dealing with drugs was death.      they should--as petedk suggested--inform newbies that dealing with thai chicks can be as deadly as dealing with drugs....

[wgdanson]

2 hours ago, trainman34014 said:

Lol...Cheap Charlie personified !

Next time, just ask for 5 Baht.

[NCC1701A]

3 hours ago, isaanbanhou said:

relationship advice or an excerpt from a dog training manual?

My Thai girlfriend after watching me use food as a reward to tame and change the behavior of some ferrel cats around the house said she was "same as the cats".

[bkkdawg]

3 hours ago, Orton Rd said:

Many of us could have that carved on our tomb stones 

Only if you're a Mug

[micmichd]

3 hours ago, Orton Rd said:

Many of us could have that carved on our tomb stones 

Read this if you think Farang women are different: 

https://www.stickmanbangkok.com/readers-submissions/2009/11/the-rosetta-stone-of-womens-behavior/

 

Remember you're taking away younger women's time if they care for you. And keep in mind that most have children to feed. 

So, what about paying them a decent salary? 

[White Christmas13]

3 hours ago, HooHaa said:

speak for yourself.

all of my thai partners have been fine.

So why did you not have just one?

[wombat]

3 hours ago, dfdgfdfdgs said:

 

  Just don't pay for her or her family at any time. 

well, hey. that solved that.

[wombat]

2 minutes ago, White Christmas13 said:

So why did you not have just one?

spread the love cupcake, spread the love.

[Fish Head Soup]

The Italian guy broke the 'golden rule'. Only ever date women who are money rich orphans with high flying jobs in the city and are desperate for a farang twice their age to be faithful to.

 

It's really all rather simple. Love? huh!

[impulse]

7 minutes ago, NCC1701A said:

My Thai girlfriend after watching me use food as a reward to tame and change the behavior of some ferrel cats around the house said she was "same as the cats".

 

She's right in one respect.  Getting a woman dressed, primped, and out the door on the way to anywhere is just like herding cats. 

 

Unless it's somewhere she really wants to go.  Then it's like getting between a cat and its catnip.

 

 

[Jerry780]

3 hours ago, HooHaa said:

speak for yourself.

all of my thai partners have been fine.

Yeah but Thai boys are really in for the long haul!!

[SOTIRIOS]

,,,the bigger point is everybody in Thailand, including the government and the courts knows that Thai women have been lying to and cheating foreign men for at least 50 years, if not longer, and nothing has ever been done about it..

 

...murdered or not...they all have their lives ruined one way or another...

 

...nothing is ever done about it...they pretend the phenomenon doesn't exist...and even the western countries don't have the !@#$%^& to address these rampant crimes...

 

....save your blaming the victims that should have known better bs.....

 

...people are entitled to dream of finding a life mate or a love....

 

...predators that pretend and take advantage of them should be arrested...jailed...and have their assets seized....

 

...and the victims should be helped....

 

...as is clearly indicated by the !@#$%^ who used and abused 5000 men.....these psychos have nothing to fear because they are never punished....

 

.....but read front page news about how a handful of their country mates were deceived and cheated...

 

...go figure.....

 

[Dazinoz]

9 minutes ago, White Christmas13 said:

So why did you not have just one?

Yep. I asked how many was ALL. And why ALL if they were fine.

[Bluespunk]

12 minutes ago, White Christmas13 said:

So why did you not have just one?

It wasn't them, it was him...

[HooHaa]

11 minutes ago, Jerry780 said:

Yeah but Thai boys are really in for the long haul!!

ah, i see what you did there.

yup gay jokes sure are funny