To snitch or not to snitch that is the question

[OneMoreFarang]

2 hours ago, Once Bitten said:

Well last night was another get together of the local expats and all but one of the original guys who were at the last meeting turned up . For some reason the past conversations we had about Tom's Wife being seen with another man at a resort was not brought up , until I went and mentioned it . 

 

The guy who had been at the resort and had seen Tom's wife said that he felt he could not live with him self if he did not tell Tom what he saw,  even if Tom reacted badly he felt it was his duty as a friend to come clean and not hide things. Tom is due back in a few days  . 

 

The general consensus from every one sitting around the table was that if it was one of them in a similar situation they , including my self would want to be told . One other comment made was that its to late to try and put the cat back in the bag .

 

Only time will tell. 

Does anybody know if Tom reads the TV forum while he is away...

[BobbyL]

2 hours ago, falangjim said:

Okay, you and your posse of friends have made a decision.  Now let it go...unless we read about "Tom" in a future TV article having butchered his wife, is there another reason you feel compelled to drag us through Tom's drama?

 

It is a forum. I think this thread is relatively interesting compared to the usual 'should I date a bar girl' stuff.

 

I hope we find out what happens. 

[OneMoreFarang]

1 hour ago, BobbyL said:

It is a forum. I think this thread is relatively interesting compared to the usual 'should I date a bar girl' stuff.

 

I hope we find out what happens. 

Maybe Tom should date a bargirl and write in this forum about it. Should be interesting.

[Justfine]

14 hours ago, OneMoreFarang said:

Maybe Tom should date a bargirl and write in this forum about it. Should be interesting.

He probably is right now. Only bad when the wife cheats according to some.

[altcar bob]

2 hours ago, Justfine said:

He probably is right now. Only bad when the wife cheats according to some.

Load of rubbish   Let Tom pull the (financial) mat from under his wife, now that would really be interesting

[OneMoreFarang]

51 minutes ago, altcar bob said:

Load of rubbish   Let Tom pull the (financial) mat from under his wife, now that would really be interesting

He could introduce a favorite bar girls to his wife and tell her that from now on the money will go in a different direction.

Tom, please hire someone with a video camera to record this moment. And maybe keep an ambulance on standby.

 

[BobbyL]

I would really like to see what Tom's wife looks like. I have an image in my mind of her being some innocently attractive older Thai women who is going through a new phase of sexual exploration. 

[Justfine]

2 hours ago, altcar bob said:

Load of rubbish   Let Tom pull the (financial) mat from under his wife, now that would really be interesting

Not to worry. She has 3 paying already.

[ncc1701d]

On 2/10/2018 at 6:05 PM, Once Bitten said:

There seems to be differing views as to whats the best way to go.

 

So lets say that    '' Your ''    partner has been seen by a friend in similar indisputable circumstances including photographic evidence  .

 

Putting to one side the eventual outcome of the situation and how you would feel / what you would then do. 

 

 I want to ask You  this ..........

 

 

 Would you want your friend to tell you . 

 

 

 Yes  -  or  -  No 

Yes.

 

so what did you decide to do?

[Once Bitten]

2 hours ago, ncc1701d said:

Yes.

 

so what did you decide to do?

 

YES YES YES 

I have this gut feeling a sort of idea that the majority of men if they were honest with them selves deep down they would want to know if their partner was cheating on them especially if the information came from a friend . Personally if I were to be told by a friend that my wife was cheating on me I would quietly check things out my self before reacting and if I found the information to be false I would then point the facts out to my informer friend and think no more about it. If the information was found to be 100% true , then ….. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[OneMoreFarang]

3 hours ago, Once Bitten said:

 

YES YES YES 

I have this gut feeling a sort of idea that the majority of men if they were honest with them selves deep down they would want to know if their partner was cheating on them especially if the information came from a friend . Personally if I were to be told by a friend that my wife was cheating on me I would quietly check things out my self before reacting and if I found the information to be false I would then point the facts out to my informer friend and think no more about it. If the information was found to be 100% true , then ….. 

 

Now would you be able to do that quietly? And maybe at the same time living together with your wife pretending there is nothing important going through your mind.

 

Many of us think we are rational - until the moment we get really upsetting new. Then we may decide to confront it up front or try to deny it etc. Some of us may even be cool doing that, but I guess not too many people take it easy when a friend tell them his wife is fooling around.

 

[mogandave]

Yes, in much the same way that a good friend would tell you if you had bad-breath or needed to lose weight 

[ncc1701d]

On 2/22/2018 at 3:20 PM, Once Bitten said:

 

YES YES YES 

I have this gut feeling a sort of idea that the majority of men if they were honest with them selves deep down they would want to know if their partner was cheating on them especially if the information came from a friend . Personally if I were to be told by a friend that my wife was cheating on me I would quietly check things out my self before reacting and if I found the information to be false I would then point the facts out to my informer friend and think no more about it. If the information was found to be 100% true , then ….. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

So how did he react?

[Justfine]

Better to provide actual proof like photos of car then he can check her story first. Gather the evidence before ruining everything with mere allegations.

[OneMoreFarang]

1 hour ago, Justfine said:

Better to provide actual proof like photos of car then he can check her story first. Gather the evidence before ruining everything with mere allegations.

Should it really be the work for Tom's friends to gather evidence? I don't think so. If it's important to him then he can hire someone to do it for him.

[OneMoreFarang]

If anyone want to read more of the same:

 

My ex continues to be a serial adulterer – should I expose him?

https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2018/feb/25/my-ex-is-a-serial-adulterer-should-i-expose-him-mariella-frostrup

 

Including 959 comments...

 

[Justfine]

Are those newspaper stories even real? They sound a bit cliche and made up.

[OneMoreFarang]

53 minutes ago, Justfine said:

Are those newspaper stories even real? They sound a bit cliche and made up.

I don't know. I am more interested in the comments section. Some comments are obviously predictable but sometimes there are some interesting ideas.

It also shows often totally different points of views - I find it interesting.

[Justfine]

56 minutes ago, OneMoreFarang said:

I don't know. I am more interested in the comments section. Some comments are obviously predictable but sometimes there are some interesting ideas.

It also shows often totally different points of views - I find it interesting.

What ideas do you like?

[Razzler1973]

On 21/02/2018 at 8:39 AM, Once Bitten said:

Well last night was another get together of the local expats and all but one of the original guys who were at the last meeting turned up . For some reason the past conversations we had about Tom's Wife being seen with another man at a resort was not brought up , until I went and mentioned it . 

 

The guy who had been at the resort and had seen Tom's wife said that he felt he could not live with him self if he did not tell Tom what he saw,  even if Tom reacted badly he felt it was his duty as a friend to come clean and not hide things. Tom is due back in a few days  . 

 

The general consensus from every one sitting around the table was that if it was one of them in a similar situation they , including my self would want to be told . One other comment made was that its to late to try and put the cat back in the bag .

 

Only time will tell. 

I honestly thought you were going to say that everyone started talking about the one guy from the original group that wasn't there this time and how someone saw his wife with someone else this time

[Once Bitten]

Ive not been able to attend the last few local expat meet up's so I never really got to hear 100% how things turned out with Tom , just a few vague rumors,  then this morning I went for a walk around a monthly local outdoor market and bumped into the guy who originally told us that he had seen Tom's wife staying at a resort in the company of a man.  So we went for a chat and coffee .

 

Well it seems this guy who had originally spotted Tom's wife felt he had to inform Tom of what he had seen 

 

Apparently when Tom was told about his wife being seen at a resort with a man and then shown the photographs on the guys mobile phone , Tom's first comment was , the Thai man in the photograph accompanying his wife was in fact his wife's cousin .

 

It now seems that in the past Tom all along had a feeling that some thing was not quite right because when the wife's cousin from Bangkok had been to visit  their house Tom had got a funny feeling that they were both acting together a bit to close and adding to the fact that Tom had found out  his wife had been sending regular amounts of money to her '' cousin '' made Tom start to get a bit suspicious. Tom said that he had asked his wife about her sending money to the cousin , and the wife's  answer was that the cousin had money problems and could not meet the monthly finance re payments on his vehicle.

 

So Tom asked the guy who had taken the photographs to transfer them to his mobile phone via Bluetooth . After talking to Tom the guy who took the photographs thought Tom did not seem to surprised or upset at hearing the news or seeing the photographs . 

 

What happened after Tom was given the information concerning his wife and went home , I'm not sure but hopefully on the next local expat meeting I attend either Tom will be there or some one will know the outcome. 

 

 

 

[OneMoreFarang]

Obviously that is interesting news. It's always interesting to know how stories develop and possibly end.

 

But I feel a little concenred how "Tom" will react if he ever finds out that lots of forum readers here knew lots of details before he knew. What will he find more embarrassing? That his wife's cousin was not really her cousis or that "a friend" published his story or that lots of people read about all these details? 

[473geo]

28 minutes ago, OneMoreFarang said:

Obviously that is interesting news. It's always interesting to know how stories develop and possibly end.

 

But I feel a little concenred how "Tom" will react if he ever finds out that lots of forum readers here knew lots of details before he knew. What will he find more embarrassing? That his wife's cousin was not really her cousis or that "a friend" published his story or that lots of people read about all these details? 

Don't be concerned Tom will have enough on his mind without bothering about who knew and when, if, of course, things are headed in the wrong direction.

[BobbyL]

The classic 'cousin' trick. 

[altcar bob]

Tom must be an idiot, Id get shut like yesterday,would not trust any of them,not even my own shadow in Thailand,most other places too

[ncc1701d]

7 hours ago, altcar bob said:

Tom must be an idiot, Id get shut like yesterday,would not trust any of them,not even my own shadow in Thailand,most other places too

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=iuCv_yiJR30