Confused over Thai girlfriend

[nickcar]

 It seems to me that she is being more honest with you then most girls would. If the tension waiting for her to make a decision is too much then you have to force it, tell her You will give her a week to decide and tell her that if she doesn’t tell you within that week then you will assume she has chosen her old boyfriend and cut all ties.

 

if not to much tension then wait it out until you cant stand it any longer. 

Good luck 

 

ps  I have always known that if I was in  The position of having to make a choice and didn’t make one then I would finish up with neither of them. 

Edited February 17, 2018 by nickcar

[smotherb]

3 hours ago, phetpeter said:

Its a Thai auction! She is bidding herself to one who offers a better future with love...marriage . from what you are offering is words, you are in her home, her life, she is refusing you to buy anything, reason you are only offering, the new fridge should have been there without offer! You sound  weak! she has told you that you are kind and sweet, but not wanting a full commitment, being strong (sweeping her off her feet!) You will have to up your biddin in this Thai auction. It not money she wants but, long term relationship...Are you ready to commit to that? If not, then drop out.

" . . . It (sic) not money she wants (sic) but, (sic) long term relationship . . ."   Are you sure you didn't mean, "It's not a relationship she wants, but long-term money"?

[smotherb]

3 hours ago, leither69 said:

I fell asleep halfway through this!! If there are any exciting bits, can someone summarise them for me?

Farang meets Thai girl, cannot figure her out.

[ICECOOL]

When I met my second wife(not Thai)  she had had a long term relationship and took a long time to decide.  She chose me and we were together 15  years.  If your the only one with her physically (and it seems emotionally) and she is not demanding money then why not just chill. Seems to me you have inside running. Seems like a normal balanced women. 

[smotherb]

1 hour ago, realenglish1 said:

It's really simple to Tell her it's you or the ex-boyfriend Period If she picks you then you must finish totally with your ex

 

If you choose your ex-BF then  tell her you are not going to be her GIG  (means hidden lover)

 

Very simple

Great advice, somewhat like saying, "eat less and exercise more" for losing weight.

[Retiredandhappyhere]

16 hours ago, Berkshire said:

Great advice.  The only thing I would add--and where Thai women may be a tad different--is they are not as direct and explicit when it comes to delivering "bad news."  They'll send indirect messages and hope the guy gets it, rather than having to come out and actually say it.  Basically to avoid the guy losing face.  The OP isn't getting the message. 

Also, she may not want to let the OP go just now until she is sure the former b/f is back permanently.  In other words, she could be using the OP as a back-up.

[Media1]

She has good qualities but is playing the field. This cancels out those qualities.

You need to be a man and tell her and him. Not to contact her anymore

if was my GF it would be crunch time

 

There's choices the one made now determined how she sees you as a man.Boy or Man

[csabo]

3 hours ago, Benroon said:

Wow - so much bitterness in one post - get burnt did we ? 

Nope. Since you asked,  been with the same girl since I got here 4 years ago. She's amazing in every way. I just see a lot of posts from guys like the OP and probably you who can't smell a rat. You are confusing bitterness with tough truth. 

Edited February 17, 2018 by csabo

[Thaidream]

You can wait it out for a little  while but she has to make a decision and Thais have a hard time with decisions- they must be pushed a little.  If she chooses you- the ex boyfriend has to be told goodbye forever- no friends-. And the reverse is true- if she choose him- you are gone- never to see this girl again or contact her.  Trust me- you cannot be friends with another man's girl or vice versa. It  doesn't work. Deep down inside- you will always wonder what could be and then try to make it a reality.

[Acemaker]

23 hours ago, MaeJoMTB said:

Same needy txting from the guy.

OP you need to learn never to do the needy txt thing.

If she doesn't want to talk, you never contact her again, date another girl and go to places her pals are sure to see you.

Treat em mean, keep em keen, always worked in Essex.

[kingstonkid]

Op

 

Sounds like right now you have a good thing going.  Do not overthink it.  Just enjoy the ride.

 

The only thing I would not do is get financially involved.  ie buying a house or a car or such.  Spend what you are willing to spend.  Do not overdo it.

 

You said something about going back to your country if that is the case enjoy it and if it turns into more than fine.  Remember you have just met her.  You are still in the dating and enjoying each other stage.  Take your time and treat her like you would a girl that you were interested in your own country.  

If there is an other guy then so be it.  I would imagine that there are good and bad memories that she has of him.  Just as I am sure you have fond and not so fond memories of your past loves.  

[AGLV0121]

On 2/16/2018 at 5:38 AM, Livinglife1 said:

has anyone experienced this?? 

 

Not sure of where I found this but it summarizes your story.

 

Btw, have you asked here to break up with her ex? And block his phone calls and messages?

 

If she does, then.... Maybe you can (still) trust her. Just maybe.

[Peterw42]

This is a real coincidence because I just got back with my girlfriend of 2 years, we broke up 4 weeks ago. My mum helped patch it up.

She wants me to get a Tesco points card. But everything else is great.

[MrY]

Anybody notice who's missing from this thread..?

[yogavnture]

i have attention deficit disorder. your story is too long. i dont care about her fridge.  why are posting domestic disputes here. do what you want

[MrY]

24 minutes ago, yogavnture said:

i have attention deficit disorder. your story is too long. i dont care about her fridge.  why are posting domestic disputes here. do what you want

dude your post spilled over to second line. keep it short

[Tofer]

Congratulations OP, you got 80 posts so far for your creative writing!

 

If that's not what it was, you need to grow up!

[mickyboy]

find someone else less complicated there millions out there when you go back home someone elde take your place ask yourself would you go along with this if you at home and met a girl in the pub do this to you  they like to keep several guys on the go at once so if you go she has another dont fool your heart over your head 

[MrY]

13 minutes ago, mickyboy said:

find someone else less complicated there millions out there when you go back home someone elde take your place ask yourself would you go along with this if you at home and met a girl in the pub do this to you  they like to keep several guys on the go at once so if you go she has another dont fool your heart over your head 

James Aloysius, is it you?

[F4UCorsair]

Schizo chick alert....bail out now.

Sent from my [device_name] using http://Thailand Forum - Thaivisa mobile app

[newatthis]

On 2/16/2018 at 11:38 AM, Livinglife1 said:

she tells me she had a farang boyfriend for two years but they break up 4 weeks before she met me, she thought they had finished for good but her ex bf mum had called her to say I think you should sort it out.

A farang ex-bf's mother rings up a Thai girl to help sort out their relationship while you're as confused as a baby in a titty bar.. Wow!! This girl has got the whole world tied up in knots.

[GOLDBUGGY]

It may be that she appears to have been honest with you, and that is a good thing. But does that make her a Honest Person? 

 

What has she told her X-Boyfriend about you? Has she told him she is having sex with you, is with you day and night now, and recently asked you to move in with her? I hardly think so! Chances are that if she told him the truth now also, he would not hang around for her either. But why is that so important to you? 

 

Perhaps the biggest advantage you have now over her last BF, is that you are in Thailand now, and he may not be. Which raises the question that if the shoe was on the other foot, and he was here in Thailand when you may not be, what would she be telling you?

 

If she was sleeping with her X-BF then, would she tell you about that? Or would she hide it like she is doing now, with her X-BF, only because he is not there to see this, and thus won't know the truth? Or at least right away and until she finally makes her mind up. If she ever does. 

 

If you continue in this relationship with her then you need to get the truth out to all parties concerned. Which is you, her, and her X-BF. If she asked you to move it with her then this is serious enough to do that. If she refuses to do that then you have to question who she is really lying to. You or her X-BF. You should not have moved in with her until this issue was resolved. 

 

I can understand where you are coming from. She may be a very decent Thai Girl but a bit confused right now, as there are lots of them around to. But Thai Girls all seem to be very insecure. They want serious relationshps a lot more than 2 Week Flings. But sometimes to find this serious relationship they will go on a 2 Week Fling. What she probably wants more is a serious relationship leading up to marriage. So she may not go with the one she likes better over the one who takes her more serious and wants to marry her.      

[tonray]

12 hours ago, Peterw42 said:

This is a real coincidence because I just got back with my girlfriend of 2 years, we broke up 4 weeks ago. My mum helped patch it up.

She wants me to get a Tesco points card. But everything else is great.

Why is anyone's mum involved in their relationships in Thailand ?  How old are you ?

[catman20]

31 minutes ago, newatthis said:

A farang ex-bf's mother rings up a Thai girl to help sort out their relationship while you're as confused as a baby in a titty bar.. Wow!! This girl has got the whole world tied up in knots.

well ! shes got his world tied up in knots thats for sure, 

Edited February 18, 2018 by catman20

[Peterw42]

2 minutes ago, tonray said:

Why is anyone's mum involved in their relationships in Thailand ?  How old are you ?

Maybe ask the OP, I was having a joke about it.

Its mentioned in the OP.

[GOLDBUGGY]

On 2/16/2018 at 12:59 PM, Kinnock said:

This is Thailand, not Europe or US, aim for perfection in a partner and you'll find it.  Mood swings, uncertainty, keeping you hanging on - these are all the games girls play when there's short supply of good girlfriend material and the guy is desperately trying to hang on to her.

 

Thailand is like a huge car showroom filled with exotic machinery for you to try, and only when you find that one special vehicle, with the looks, ride, color extras and even your favorite music pre-installed and the Bluetooth set up to your phone do you take one home for keeps.

 

If anyone ever feels they need to post a Thai Girlfriend query on a public forum, then they are with the wrong girl.  Take a few more test drives, find one with a smoother ride and a lower mileage.

My Old Ford has got oodlles of miles on her, but she has never quit on me or ever let me down even once. Cheap to own and run also. Wash her down and Wax her, and doll her up some, and she looks like new. Or at least in the dark anyway. 

 

Just the other day I passed 3 newer models on the highway all parked with there hoods up. Exotic Machinery may be more eye catching, but that doesn't mean there performnace is any better, or even as good, as the older more trusted models.

 

Guys who keep trading in there Older Models for newer ones every few years are never happy with what they have. Many times they end up with something far worst. Then comes the time when they run out of money and are stuck with the one they don't like. Maybe wishing they kept that Old Ford like I did.  

[GOLDBUGGY]

On 2/16/2018 at 9:39 PM, Berkshire said:

Great advice.  The only thing I would add--and where Thai women may be a tad different--is they are not as direct and explicit when it comes to delivering "bad news."  They'll send indirect messages and hope the guy gets it, rather than having to come out and actually say it.  Basically to avoid the guy losing face.  The OP isn't getting the message. 

She asked him to move in with her after contact with her last Boyfriend. 

 

What kind of Thai Woman Message does that say to you?

[GOLDBUGGY]

21 hours ago, leither69 said:

I fell asleep halfway through this!! If there are any exciting bits, can someone summarise them for me?

No! Nothing you would find interesting.

 

So just continue on sleeping the rest of your life away. 

[GOLDBUGGY]

20 hours ago, falangjim said:

Somehow I got to the end of that post, but my intestines are now in a pressured, explosive knot. Oh! There goes a small fart. It squeaked out, unexpected like. Now where was I? Ahhh...you're having troubles with your Thai girlfriend, whose friends 'really like you, and that's important...Oh my God, another rush of air just flew out my rearend, and that one had a bit of heat to it. Ok. Sorry. Yeah, so your holiday dream girl turns out to have an exboyfriend, and his mum has been in contact with her trying to patch it all up. But you still get the occasional booty call...*whoosh!*OMG, that one came with a turtlehead. Touching cloth as the Brits say. Ok. Where was I? Ah. She has to make a decision, and so do you by the looks of it, since you dragged your dirty laundry out onto a public forum hoping for an answer you already know in your heart (or gut) to be true. I think I'll go back and re-read the feature story about the slob in Buriram, and how his one-eyed wife has to wipe his butt. At least that couple are commited.

By the way you were talking in your post, looks to me like you need somebody to wipe your butt right now to. 

[saakura]

22 hours ago, hobobo said:

But remember, Thai girls see farangs as a huge car showroom filled with exotic machinery as well! I've known some who'd take a different model for a test ride several times a day!

I think you hang around prostitutes too much.