I just heard another great one from my wife :

She was telling me that when she was young her family was very poor .

They only had one small TV with two color"s..............

Black and white

here´s one about a Farang getting the banana treatment:

When I arrived in LOS a few years ago, I briefly travelled around before settling, with an English girl I met in Chian Rai.

For a couple of weeks, every morning, we´d go to local market, wherever we were, and she´d be all chuffed and proud as a peacock, asking in her newly accquired Thai, "I would like two small banana´s please" I would notice puzzled looks on the vendors faces, but I knew no Thai then. Her pointing directly at the banana´s in question clarified and made the sale.

After a couple of weeks, an elder lady vendor in Trat with a glint in her eye, kindly pointed out to this girl that she was, had been been two weeks solid, so proudly asking for two small penises every morning.

We laughed for days.

When my GF couldn't find the garden hose, she said "Where is string for water?"

> She was telling me that when she was young her family was very poor .

> They only had one small TV with two color"s..............

> Black and white

LOL... :-))) Anyway, they obviously weren't THAT poor if they had electricity and any kind of TV at all....

Cheers,

Chanchao

When my GF couldn't find the garden hose, she said "Where is string for water?"

Man I would have loved to see the look on your face with that line!!!!

Any more, this thread cracks me up!!

My ex, trying to ask if we cremate dead people back home, asked "When you have people die, you have BBQ mai?"

My wife just says "Easy old, hard die" ,worries me sometimes.

i was ordering some food and wanted to get some water with my order.:

'nohm yai krap' (not naam)

And then the reply...

'mai mii ka'

-

while looking at mutton in the meat section of a supermarket in qatar my wife asked what kind of meat that was. i realized in a panic that 'sheep' was not a part of my vocabulary. i then tried to explain to the spouse in my toneless thai that that there are a lot of these animals in australia in new zealand.

that description did not cut it and resulted in a misunderstanding. she said 'oh' and started hopping with her hands pulled up to her chest (kangaroo).

everything was set right after i did a little bleating 'bllaaaaAAaa...bllaaAaaa'. at least i think she understands...maybe she was just embarassed.

My Thai wife calls my penus "HIM" and her vagina "she".  You can make up your own jokes!!

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Aren't the thai words for penis "Hum" and Vagina "hee"?

Hey, not all WOMEN say those things!!!!!!!!!!!

I know my colleagues (between 32-45) call boobs........"toom toom"........cracks me up.......

Hey, not all WOMEN say those things!!!!!!!!!!!

I know my colleagues (between 32-45) call boobs........"toom toom"........cracks me up.......

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SK am i right or wrong??

Aren't the thai words for penis "Hum" and Vagina "hee"?

Jim (Nice)

Hoy (OK)

Hee (Crude)

Aren't the thai words for penis "Hum" and Vagina "hee"?

Jim (Nice)

Hoy (OK)

Hee (Crude)

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Ohhhh sorry but maybe she meant HUM "Him" Hee "she" or that was what that boyfriend or husband understood or not??

I just heard another great one from my wife :

She was telling me that when she was young her family was very poor .

They only had one small TV with two color"s..............

Black and white

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Kinda makes sense though doesn't it.....!

totster

I'm in the donut store today on the phone to the wife asking if she wants me to pick anything up for her.

"Yes please, the one I like."

"Which one is that dear?"

"it's glom ."

"huh?"

"and it's got a hole in the middle."

I just 'talk-play play' (kidding)

I was testing the Gf yesterday on the phone to see how much she knew about me (practising for Visa interview)

when i asked her if she knew the name of my company i work for.

"I dont know" she said.

"DHL", i replied

"B.A.L.?" she said

"No No D. H. L" i said again

"B.H. L" she said

"No No . listen A . B. C. D! D! D! (as she knows the alphabet)

"kao jai kao jai" she said

"ok, so where do i work?"

"A.B.C.D.H.L"

She got there in the end!!!!!!!!

spuds,

sorry off topic, but why are DHL thailand such a bunch of &lt;deleted&gt;. Told me that the toys(new) I was sending to NZ were PE's and could not be sent??????????

spuds,

sorry off topic, but why are DHL thailand such a bunch of &lt;deleted&gt;. Told me that the toys(new) I was sending to NZ were PE's and could not be sent??????????

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what do you mean PE's ?

"ok, so where do i work?"

"A.B.C.D.H.L"

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Funny stuff ...

"ok, so where do i work?"

"A.B.C.D.H.L"

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Funny stuff ...

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Brilliant.I fell off my perch I laughed so much, thanks

Your mistreating me because I'm just your 'flower beside way'

On the day before our engagement party, she was talking about how she would have to do that day to get ready. She said to me, "you know, before I engage you, I must go spend morning in saloon."

Cute thing number two: she was fixing dinner and I asked her what she was making, she said, "chimp." I was horrified. I've eaten some strange things in Thailand though, so decided to just go with the flow and sat down to wait for my meal of fried monkey. Was very grateful when I was served shrimp.

A friend and I were dropping off some stuff one day and the security guy was telling us in english to go down 'just past the chicken and turn left'. I think me meant the kitchen. Very cute.

I liked it when my wife wanted to say "What are you doing?". She'd come out with something like "What do you do?. Ocassionally it was a tongue twister for her and would sound something like "What do do you do do what do you do?".

It's a shame her English has since improved as she doesn't make as many mistakes as before.

ME - " ohhh &lt;deleted&gt;!"

GF - "yes very &lt;deleted&gt;"

FG recently learnt a new English word - "delly sh1t". Took me a while to understand whether she was making a coment about food from the delicatescence or what. I eventually realised that she was attempting to say "delicious"

My lady used to tell me that she was going to arabic......Now this really had me worried......

I asked her about going to arabic......she started jumping up and down and moving her arms around......

Aerobics.....Phew!!!!!!

Mixing Thai and english can be fun too....

When my ex was here, I taught the word for the object that allows you to unlock doors.....

She used to crack up when I asked her......you have key !!!