my gf and I were having dinner with my parents a couple of weeks ago.

My girlfriend started scratching her arm, then she looks at me and says 'cun' really loud.

My mum nearly spat her drink out 

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Priceless!

He he it's so funny to read about farang taking about their girl..Oh i have to improve my English more but what about if Thai girl talk about their farang husband speak Thai? Lol

i was changing flights in the middle east and got back on and a thai gal sat next to me.

she had some very filled bags on the floor , i asked whats in there ?

she replied "berrys" .

grape juice i asked ?

no "berrys" she said.

oh wine then ?

no she said "berrys"

i was getting baffled by now ....

i opened the bag and had a peek and she had 2 bottls of BAILEYS !!

I can't help it but the tears have been rolling my cheaks reading all this...

My first time in LOS, I took a lady for dinner, first time thai food for me so very hot, when we were finished she asked if I wanted a tsjitsju, I politely said no thank you I'm full and pointed at my belly, she again said you want tsjitsju, so I said no thank you again, then she got up and took a tissue to wipe my forehead....

I just thought tsjitsju was some kind of desert....

After that she had to go to her loom

and a few days later a mate phoned me and she asked if that was 'my fliend you'

They're so cute when they do their best speaking Falang.....you just gotta love them.

My hubby's Uncle had a brain anurism, but he was Ok, One evening his wife came to our's for a bbq and I politely enquired after his health, well i have no Idea how to say brain anurism in Thai so I ended up asking if her husband was still "Sick in the head" Luckily everyone had a good laugh at my expense and she didn't hold it against me!

Hi

My cousin Billy came to BKK for the first time on Loy Khratong. He was throwing himself into trying to learn some words and phrases. His favorites were "Jai yen yen" and "Arai gordai!". He also learned "yai" and "lek". He would frequently mix up the word order or mispronounce something.

On the way to Loy Khratong, his date was having a heated exchange witha taxi driver who demanded an extra 200 baht. Billy was wanting everyone to calm down and avoid a scene, and saw an excellent opportunity to use 'jai yen yen'. His memory failed him but he ddi end the arguing by excitedly motioning with his hands and saying loudly, "Hey!...jim yai yai!" (instead of 'jai yen yen').

Bryan

i know its cruel. but i get a lot of laughs after asking my GF to say words with lots of "r"s in them, eg parrallel, strawberry. Makes me laugh every time.

She gets her own back, i cannot pronnounce the thai words begining "NG" she has the same fun from me.

I returned after a four month stint at work and the first time I tried the DVD player in the bedroom the remote wouldn't work. the GF said "batteries dead". I took the cover off and saw they were installed right but looked a bit strange. I then got the remote for a small stereo and took the cover off and noticed the batteries in it looked strange too. GF said those were dead also.

When I popped the batteries out it was apparent that what looked strange about them was that they all had deep bite marks in them. She had chewed on all the batteries to get some more life out of them. I was rolling around laughing for a half hour. She didn't understand my amusement at all.

I also couldn't believe that she was too cheap to buy new batteries and waited for me to return.

Asked my girl friend why she does not get bitten by mozerrs he reply " i have dark skin they cant see me at nite" i found this most ammusing.

recentley sent her a sms telling her i was going to see my Nan (grandmother), i then spent the next few days being questioned about the girl called Nan.

My gfs favouite show on UBC series is "everbody loves lemon".

She works at the English information desk at the airpot, God help us all!

I was awakened one night by a thump round the ear'ole. 'I dreamt you with other lady ' was my wifes excuse

I was awakened one night by a thump round the ear'ole. 'I dreamt you with other lady ' was my wifes excuse

I was once clipped around the ear by a mates wife for looking at a girl while driving my car.......

Her excuse....I thought you were my husband....

She was a farang girl too....

I was awakened one night by a thump round the ear'ole. 'I dreamt you with other lady ' was my wifes excuse

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This same thing has happened to me.....

But anyway back to the topic, we were in 7-11 one night to get a bite to eat and i was looking at microwave meals. My wife pointed out one and informed me it was her favorite. I said "thats cool, but i like this one". The looked at me like i was dumber then a box of rocks and exclaimed "Its not cool, you heat it up!"

shes a cutie..........

My FG was telling me one day that there was a movie on TV that evening that she wanted to watch : "Rah Rah Cough". I told her that I'd never heard of the movie and said I'd look it up in the UBC magazine. I eventually realised what she was trying to say when she pointed to 'Lara Croft, Tomb Raider'.

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Sounds like you after 6 Archa's

I was teaching one of the new girls how to count. She nearly got it right.1,2,3,4,5,6,7,11

The FG was driving back from town yesterday and I made a comment that she was exceeding the speed limit. She said "you fart more than me!"

I couldn't disagree with the accuracy of the statement, though.

Okay, how many of you got surprised on the last voting day by your tee-rak telling you she "have to go out to make the erection"...? I still kid her about that one. And she and her friends always have a good giggle at my Thai, especially the time I wanted to sit down on a Korean. (gao-li instead of gao-ee)

I love it when they try to say 'itch' or 'itchy'.

Try it.......

well, the first thing coming to mind is: "French fly" ! I always ask her: where, in the sky ?

Not as amusing as some of the others, but still makes me smile - when I'm driving and she wants me to stop somewhere:

"Drop here"

HAD A GF LONG TIME AGO WHEN I LIVED IN KATA... ONE DAY SHE WAS GOING SHOPPING FOR FOOD IN PHUKET TOWN SHE ASKES ME "WHAT DO YOU WANT FOR LUNCH" I SAY "OH A TUNA SANDWITCH WOULD BE GREAT" COMES BACK COUPLE OF HOURS LATER WITH A WHOLE FRICKEN TUNA ABOUT 8 POUNDS I DID THE RIGHT THING THOUGH FED THE WHOLE BUNGALOW COMPLEX AND MARRIED THE GIRL

When my wife and I first got together I asked her to teach me some Thai. After a while I became frustrated with it so I gave up.  A couple of my friends were teasing me why I have given up so quickly so I asked my wife to say these words in Thai to them - (kao) - rice, mountain, horn, and white. Nearly impossible to learn!

Kao: You forgot 'Knee' and 'Him'.

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Rice, moutain, horn, white, knee, him.

That's six and there are five tones.

How, help, please? i'm even more confused now!

Also isn't 'kao'='him' also good for 'her?' I normally say 'Kao poo ying/chy' to say 'that girl/boy' is this correct?

B

I love it when they try to say 'itch' or 'itchy'.

Try it.......

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a few more to try;

blue suade shoes

oodle of noodles

cheese an' rice

I believe 'kao' can be he/she/it in a rising tone.

of course the worst thing you can hear from your thai girl is "solly, hab peliod"

of course the worst thing you can hear from your thai girl is "solly, hab peliod"

Depending on the timing and circumstances. "solly, no hab peliod" could be worse.

> a few more to try;

> blue suade shoes

> oodle of noodles

Then there's always the perennial 'she sells seashells on the sea shore'. Or the difference between 'sheep' and 'cheap'. And the one investment guaranteed to make either brain or tongue explode:

http://www.amazon.com/gp/reader/0394800389...256#reader-link

Try it.

Cheers,

Chanchao

My wife and her aunt were talking about a Toyota they liked,called "Toyota Witch" the said. I thought it was a funny name for a car,but then again;Isuzu trucks have "new Dragon power" stickers on them so I didn't think that much about it.

Later,out driving,stuck in traffic jam as usual I saw a car ahead that I didn't recognize but it looked nice,told my wife what I thought and she said "That's a Toyota Witch".

Drove a bit closer to look at it,saw a logo on the rear door that read "Wish".

Still funny name for a car,but at least a very different meaning than "Witch"

especially the time I wanted to sit down on a Korean.

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I'm still trying to figure this out!

My thai girlfriend keeps calling me joke instead of jon , wonder why!