My Thai Girl Dilema

[whereyoufrom1]

OK I met a Thai girl just over 2 years ago in Samui, I was 29 she was 21 or as I later found out 27. Needless to say she introduced herself to me in the time old fashioned manor of "Hello hansum man, where you from?"

Now I had been to Thailand 6 or 7 times prior to this and had only ever been with 2 short time girls and never really mixed with bar girls, though I had met many a fool with a sad story to tell about his broken heart.

So I got talking with this 21 yo delightful little creature, and me being the smooth tongued debonair charmer that I am really hit it off with this girl. She told me she was leaving for Bangkok in 2 days to go to the hospital and asked if I would give her the bus money, which was not a problem for me.

So after feeding my Heineken baby for several hours she came back to my hotel, I told her we didn't have to have sex, so after her 2 hour shower we hit the sack and had a good nights sleep together.

The following morning I was flying to Bkk, so after having breakfast I got her number, she begged me to call her in 2 days when to show me around. Of course I took it thinking I would never call her, but being a gentleman and not wanting to hurt her feeling swore I would see her soon.

So after 7 days passed I still couldn't get this sweet little thing with the most beautiful smile I had ever seen out of my mind, but I thought to myself don't be an ass she's scamming you, but I went ahead and called, we met up had a real good chat and a laugh, her English were very good which made me think as to how long this girl had been on the game.

The next day I had to go and change my plane ticket so I gave her 2000 baht for the day she looked at me angrily and said she needed more for money shopping, so I gave her 1000 which she thanked me for and we arranged to meet that night.

This was the night of the festival where they let candles go down the river(name I forget), so we went to the river and this delightful little creature suddenly turned into a spoilt 6 yo kid and started demanding that I buy her the biggest flower candles to float down the river, literally every market stall she walked past she said she wanted this needed that, I bought it all for her, then after a while I got pissed off with her and told her she's not getting anything else, this move really did ruin the night.

So we continued the night by the river for another 30 minutes or so, not speaking to one another before going on the sky train back to the hotel, my anger with this girl was at boiling point, so she went to the room and I went for another beer or 2, when I got to the hotel she was trying to kiss and cuddle me, when told her to stop playing games with me the room erupted, I was shouting at her that she is a greedy little nasty liar, telling her she could stay the night but in the morning I wanted her gone.

If you have spent time with a Thai girl you will know what happened next, the waterworks came on like you cant imagine, she was sobbing saying you don't understand my life, you farang you never know Thai people, I felt so bad at this point she is a 41Kg tiny girl and im twice her size at 82Kg, so I hugged her consoled her said I was sorry, which I think I was for making her cry. We talked a little and she asked me if I wanted to go and see her family the next day in Nakan Sawan, I said yes when I really meant no, then we dropped off to sleep.

I had to go into Sukhumvit to pick up my new flight ticket so I gave her the money for a taxi to the Northern bus terminal and said I would meet her later when I had absolutely no intension too. Whilst sat at the Subway restaurant people watching some 3 hours later, an African guy had just spent some counterfeit currency in a local store, the Thai owner came chasing him down the street and as you can imagine about 20 Thais jumped this guy. Earlier on that year I had been in the same business as this African (funny money trade) and it made me think that this could have been me (not that I would have done this in Thailand.) After this chaos something inside me made me want to go and see this girl so much, so I hailed a taxi and went to the bus station, where she stood looking so angelic and happy, and still waiting for me after what was now 4 hours.

We sat on the bus holding hands and all seemed to be forgiven from both our sides it was as if we had cleared the air and everything was going to be honest from now on.

When we got to nakan Sawan I stayed in the hotel, by the bus station, we went shopping the next morning for sea food, after buying more fish then Captain Birds Eye has ever caught we went to meet her family who lived in a village some 15 mile from Central Nakan Sawan. This was a total culture shock but they were all very nice, lots of happy beautiful kids running around with no shoes, they were in what liberal sociologists would call absolute poverty, but they all seemed excited and amused to see this English kid in their presence.

After 1 more week with her family I had to fly back to London as I was studying a Masters 1 month later in Canada. So we said our goodbyes, I was heartbroken but didn't show it, she cried but I told her to go now kind of angrily because I didn't want her to see my weakness, this hurt her and she walked away slowly as only Thais do.

In between my leaving her and starting school in Canada the Tsunami happened and Thailand was constantly in the news and exacerbated my thoughts for her and the country I had already fallen in love with, so I called her many times to see if she was ok and to hear what was happening in Thailand, once when I called a punter answered, I knew she was back in Samui but to hear another mans voice made me very angry and the next time we spoke/argued she said she will be honest with me now in that she is only doing the job for another 2 weeks as she has found a man who is paying her to stop working.

My journey to Canada was a disaster it was absolutely freezing (-35C), no one wanted to go out and have a laugh, I could do most the work on the course and it also wasn't Thailand, so after 2 weeks and being several thousand pound out of pocket I got back to the UK and was so relieved to be away from that place. The first thing I done when I got home was to call her and tell her I was coming to see her in a few days.

When I was at Heathrow airport I called and said for her to meet me at Bkk airport in 13 hours, I got to Bkk expecting to see my very own precious Thai girl and she was nowhere to be seen, I called and she told me she was with the family her uncle had died a few days earlier and that she couldn't meet me, my first thoughts where she's still on the game in Samui, so I told her to <deleted> off and that she was a liar.

3 or 4 days passed I still hadnt called her, I had slept with a couple of girls in this time both non bar if it matters, both probably more what you'd introduce your mother too but this little thing was now under my skin, so I called and said I will be there in 4 hours, I was half trying to call her bluff expecting her to be in Samui, but when I got there I saw the most beautiful girl I could have dreamt of moving so slowly towards me with that most heart warming smile of hers. We hugged I felt that tingle in the stomach you get when you're with someone you think is special.

The next 3 months were probably the happiest in my adult life. I found out she had been with an Englishman for 2 years hence her English skills, she told me she hadnt done this job that long before she met him, I don't know and probably never will know exactly how long but I think I will give her the benefit of the doubt on this one, what is true is that she is the kindest most giving girl I have ever met or think I could ever meet in my life.

In Samui she lived in a wood hut, had the oldest crappiest phone a Thai girl could have, whilst she took care of her most beautiful face and body, she dressed smart but you could tell she spent the bare minimum on herself, she unlike a lot of the girls who claim too, did genuinely send all her money home to her family, many of whom I thought took total advantage of her sincere kindness and warm giving heart, but she done this as it was accepted by her that it was her duty.

We were in her village one day when a guy had been out fishing was dragging his catch along the floor to eat, it was a flat fish (I wasn't aware these where in rivers) anyhow this man must have dragged the fish 300 metres to where we were and it was pointed out that the fish had its baby on it back, miraculously the fish was still alive and as it had the baby fish no one was prepared to eat it, so my girl paid 150 baht for this creature that was seconds from death so she could take it back to the river with its offspring, so they could live happily ever after, of course the inevitable happened when she got to the river, the fish floated but its baby survived, granted any western person would think this was foolish what she done but it emphasizes her childlike kindness and why it would be impossible not to fall in love with her.

When we were together after my Canada trip she was with me for 3 months, I never paid her a penny, until the day I left and I don't think she was expecting that, she said all the money I have I should use to stay in Thailand. I couldn't personally stay with a girl for a protracted period of time if it was merely a financial agreement. She didn't seem too worried about it said she was with me for heart only.

I don't know if she loved me but we certainly had formed some kind of strong relationship. Leaving was extremely difficult we were both broken hearted I was in no position to take her back to England as I had no money house car job etc……besides that I was still a bit of a jack the lad i liked my freedom, and wasn't 100% sure about marrying a Thai girl and taking her to England.

In the 3 month period we were together the German had arranged her visa, he has a good steady job is 40 years old and from what she says he is a really good guy who has been taking good care of her for the last 2 years and by all accounts is very settled.

As you may have gathered from my last comment we are still in touch and speak to each other every month or so, she knew when I was with her I was almost broke but she said she would prefer to go with me to England as opposed to Germany and have a relatively affluent existence. I made another of my promises and said that in 2 years I will have enough money for you to come and live with me. Now these 2 years are up I am financially in a position of wealth that I never thought I could possibly be in, my business is going very well, I have good friends, life is going very well, i have had several girlfriends in this period and none of them come near to this Thai princess.

My dilemma is do I take this girl away from her settled life the one that most poor Thai girls dream of, I know for a fact she will be happier with me and that her love may one day if not already be genuine for me. My problem is I am still unpredictable and anything can happen next in my life, I will never be able to offer her the stability that her current partner does, she is well aware of this, but still wants to be with me, do I take her or do I stop all contact and let her get on with life.

Edited January 26, 2007 by whereyoufrom1

[PhilHarries]

Criminy, that must set the record for the longest load of old bolleaux ever written on TV.

Do I detect the odour of a large T....?

[buriramboy]

i would love to know when people post topics like this, just exactly what type of replies are they expecting?

i am just pissed off with myself for actually reading the whole ###### thing.

BB

[a2396]

OK I met a Thai girl...

Lived in a wooden hut in Samui, but demanded for 3000 bht for shopping. Sounds like a "Fairy Tale" princess. I missed the part about where the German gets in the picture. I thought you said she was dating an Englishman in your absence??

//Edited by Maestro.

[Jai Dee]

It'd make a wonderful blog.

[Old Croc]

I never got any where near the end. Can someone tell me what the question was please?

And we thought Scamp was long winded!

Another classic first post.

[LaoPo]

[kchu]

Seems like more and more people are reading this story right now. if I were you (you are still young) I will chase what I want...

[JimsKnight]

Slept with two none bar girls and goes back to the bar scene / girl? Madness.

Don't feed the troll!

[zzz9]

jesus crist man.. Do u really think people here have the patient to read all this story /private diary.. ?

[ColPyat]

Seems that ThaiVisa shows itself most welcoming again.

Maybe the OP should have intruduced himself with "I really hate Thaksin..." before going on about his personal dilemma, and then would have gotten a great reception instead of being called a troll after his first post.

[h90]

Criminy, that must set the record for the longest load of old bolleaux ever written on TV.

Do I detect the odour of a large T....?

Phil, did you read it finish?

If can you tell me if there is something interesting comming after Heineken baby? There I stopped to read.

Michael

[smartecosse]

thats funny cos i stopped after the heinekin baby bit as well............

[gburns57au]

Scampy...is that you ???

It is isnt it ????

[Livinginexile]

OK, let me get this straight....

You met a prostitute and you fell in love with her.

She ripped you off.

Told countless lies to you.

Slept with heaps of other men whilst you were together.

She phuked you over, lied constantly and since you last seen her she has been with probably hundreds of men.

So you are asking if you should marry her?

Of course you should young man...go forth and prosper.

[buriramboy]

looks like i am the only idiot who read the whole thing then.

BB

[terry57]

i got half way

[davidjtayler]

I read the first and then the last paragraphs ... no clue about the middle but have a rough idea

[ColPyat]

looks like i am the only idiot who read the whole thing then.

BB

No, you aren't. I'm another one.

And, even worse, as opposed to most posters i believe the guy has a genuine dilemma there, even though it might sound miniscule to all the experts here. But i am sure, given the reception he got here, that he won't bother asking for advice anymore.

Edited January 26, 2007 by ColPyat

[Livinginexile]

looks like i am the only idiot who read the whole thing then.

BB

No, you aren't. I'm another one.

And, even worse, as opposed to most posters i believe the guy has a genuine dilemma there, even though it might sound miniscule to all the experts here. But i am sure, given the reception he got here, that he won't bother asking for advice anymore.

You been in the same boat Col?

[buriramboy]

whats the dilema?

marry a girl you can't trust or don't marry a girl you can't trust.

Let me ponder that one for a while and i'll get back to you.

BB

[Bananaman]

Dude, helluva long post.

I commend you for having the patience to write it and myself for having the patience to read it!

I fear there is no right or wrong answer here and only you can truly decide what is the right to do. There are plenty of us here who will tell you that you'll never change the inherent nature of a bar girl (the old "you can take the girl out the bar..." scenario) while there are others who have married them and undoubtedly have loving and mutually beneficial relationships. I'd suggest you spend more time with your girl in Thailand before you think seriously about marriage, you can't possibly get a real idea of what she's likes by taking her out of her natural environment. If your current life doesn't allow for that then I'd say you're just taking too great a risk by jumping into wedlock and trying to get her into the UK. Are you ready to deal with all the cultural differences between you and do you know exactly what they are? Furthermore, do bear in mind that pretty faces, kind-heartedness, attentiveness and undying devotion are characteristics found in women across the country and it's unbelievably easy as a western guy to get hooked in by them without considering the bigger picture.

[Boo]

only got halfway through but what the heck, marry her boy, she sounds like a keeper

[sibeymai]

the OP obviously hasn't read a single thread on TV, otherwise he'd know the answer already.

[sibeymai]

oh, by the way, if it doesn't work out with the Heineken baby, I'll give you the mobile number of my ex-wife...........

[ColPyat]

looks like i am the only idiot who read the whole thing then.

BB

No, you aren't. I'm another one.

And, even worse, as opposed to most posters i believe the guy has a genuine dilemma there, even though it might sound miniscule to all the experts here. But i am sure, given the reception he got here, that he won't bother asking for advice anymore.

You been in the same boat Col?

No.

Got any other personal questions?

[ColPyat]

Dude, helluva long post.

I commend you for having the patience to write it and myself for having the patience to read it!

I fear there is no right or wrong answer here and only you can truly decide what is the right to do. There are plenty of us here who will tell you that you'll never change the inherent nature of a bar girl (the old "you can take the girl out the bar..." scenario) while there are others who have married them and undoubtedly have loving and mutually beneficial relationships. I'd suggest you spend more time with your girl in Thailand before you think seriously about marriage, you can't possibly get a real idea of what she's likes by taking her out of her natural environment. If your current life doesn't allow for that then I'd say you're just taking too great a risk by jumping into wedlock and trying to get her into the UK. Are you ready to deal with all the cultural differences between you and do you know exactly what they are? Furthermore, do bear in mind that pretty faces, kind-heartedness, attentiveness and undying devotion are characteristics found in women across the country and it's unbelievably easy as a western guy to get hooked in by them without considering the bigger picture.

Congratulations for the first answer here to the OP's question that is neither rude, nor besides he point.

[TAWP]

I read the whole thing too, but not sure I got everything...things would indicate she got herself another sugardaddy and keeped working the bar and he had others...and he still dream about his LTGF...well, don't they all seem to do that? Why does so many men fall for them? Is it the level of control they enforce or what?

[h90]

OK, let me get this straight....

You met a prostitute and you fell in love with her.

She ripped you off.

Told countless lies to you.

Slept with heaps of other men whilst you were together.

She phuked you over, lied constantly and since you last seen her she has been with probably hundreds of men.

So you are asking if you should marry her?

Of course you should young man...go forth and prosper.

maybe they can aggree that after married, she does not sleep with every men comming arround, just with the OPs friends.

that will keep the friendships in good condition and her happy.

[TakingAVacation]

You keep writing long-winded troll posts like that and you're going to need a work permit soon...

Besides, there was no sex in the beginning, and so since this is Thailand, I knew something wasn't right and stopped right there...