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Is your Thai companion averse to questions?


Brunolem

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25 minutes ago, atyclb said:

 

because tv show was a long time ago and in america thus the % of familiarity was not high therefore i used the term "marriage" losing face or saving face is something i have no belief in

I'm also American and love the show, what's the % of those two things happening at the same time on TVF.  We think more alike then we think if we do think at all, I think.

 

Loosing face is what we all do a certain % of the time whether we admit it or not, probably more times on TVF.  Saving face is a trait not only reserved for Thais percentage wise, unlike the job market here.  See, I'm doing it right now myself.

 

We are going to Udon Thani to meet my doctor now, then we stay overnight in Nong Khai to pick up my extension stamp Wednesday.  Then we will drive a little up north back home.

 

Talk to you later.  Finally, another American to talk to without all that clutter.  Oh my god will I get hit on TVF now but I can always "ignore" them.

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17 hours ago, timkeen08 said:

I just clicked to read comments from brunolem to bypass my original ignore for this one post.

 

I agree, this guy's attempts at any real intellectual level of knowledge and his lack of any true discussion skills still confirm my initial justification to click on ignore to begin with and is the only thing of value connected to Brunolem.

 

I read your post and now I am reminded why I chose to click ignore.  He is the only member that I have clicked ignore.  Many others I can just ignore them myself without clicking ignore.

 

I am keeping him ignored, I will never click to read his comments on any post again.  I have no interest in what he has to say to anyone else or to read what he says about any of my posts or comments.  I will not waste any more of my time.

 

Thanks

Shutting down your opponent because you don't agree with his position is undisputable proof of a mature intellect...and so is the belief that you are necessarily on the right side of a debate over matters of opinion...

 

While saying that the Earth is round is a non-debatable fact, making a case for divorce from an issue over questions and answers is a highly debatable matter of opinion!

 

Yet, nowadays, many people such as yourself tend to confuse facts with opinions, in the same way that they often confuse words with actions.

 

Finally, try to imagine what this forum would be if all members who don't agree with each other were clicking on the ignore button...

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3 hours ago, atyclb said:

 

the ones that sound like they are arguing are usually the lower class poorly educated ones because they seem to have not learned to speak without yelling.

Must include most areas of China....

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4 hours ago, atyclb said:

 

the ones that sound like they are arguing are usually the lower class poorly educated ones because they seem to have not learned to speak without yelling.

 

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15 hours ago, samsingsong said:

Yes, my experience is very similar to your yours and it's interesting to find that you and others have this problem. I'd wondered if it was something to do with the way Thai people communicate with each other. I often have to ask my wife a question 3 or 4 times before I get a straight answer. She now lives and works in the UK , her English is excellent so it isn't a matter of not understanding. 

This was particularly frustrating when we were renovating our condo some years back. I had to source every item needed and it took a lot of work. e.g. we would be in HomePro or similar store, I'd ask her to ask a store assistant an easy question, maybe something like 'do they have this item in white?' She would be very reluctant to ask but when she did they would talk for about 15  minutes, and often after all that... she still didn't have an answer!

Good to see that despite those difficulties, you have not divorced as suggested by quite a few members in this thread.

 

The aversion for questions is, I think, a combination of "loss of face" issue (if I ask it means I don't know, and if I don't know it means I am stupid), shyness when it comes to talk to strangers, and not being comfortable with a foreign language even when they are quite proficient in it.

 

When it comes to talking at length to ask a question, this has probably to do with the inability of many Thai people to move from A to B in a straight line.

It seems that they'd rather cover all the other letters on their way to B, just to be sure.

 

As weird as it may seem, plumbing provides another example for that.

If you have to install a pipe to go from your pump to a new faucet, for example, you will chose the shortest or the most efficient path to lay your pipes, and you will also calculate how to make the best of the pipes you have in order to limit the connections and the waste.

None of that for your Thai plumber!

He will simply start from the pump, generally take many unnecessary detours, need at least twice as many connections as you do, and end up with many pipes from which only a small part will have been used.

 

Twists and turns, not because they like it, but because they lack training for using common sense...

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sounds to me that the op could avoid half of his dependency on his wife by having made an effort with the language and asking others directly. Eg for directions.

 

Personally, the kind of relationship described is my idea of a living hell.

Edited by HooHaa
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On 6/4/2018 at 8:57 PM, atyclb said:

 

i have had crowns in thailand but coincidently while in vietnam i needed dental work and discovered high quality at about 20% the cost in thailand. for the thai price (or less) of a root canal i can cover trip and all and have a nice little trip . i also live in thailand

I will look into this fer sure!
I could use some dental work.

Like to visit Hanoi... last visit was Saigon, (Ho Chi Min City... old habits!).
Where did you have your work done?

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3 minutes ago, Bill Miller said:

I will look into this fer sure!
I could use some dental work.

Like to visit Hanoi... last visit was Saigon, (Ho Chi Min City... old habits!).
Where did you have your work done?

da nang.         a nice place and easier to get around than say hanoi or hcm. 

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7 hours ago, HooHaa said:

sounds to me that the op could avoid half of his dependency on his wife by having made an effort with the language and asking others directly. Eg for directions.

 

Personally, the kind of relationship described is my idea of a living hell.

Jeez, why would you marry someone who doesn't even answers your questions ?

7 hours ago, HooHaa said:

Presumably she answered one.

Well I have made an effort to learn the language but my wife still speaks better Thai than me. I could have asked the example question "Do they have this item in white" (it was just an example of how a simple question it could be to answer). 

My wife does answer most everyday questions. Just sometimes I have to ask 2 or 3 times to get a firm answer.

Yesterday I asked if she would like a cup of tea and she said she might have a banana. I said would you like a cup of tea with your banana? She said she didn't know. I said 'well who should I ask then?' Things like that. A little annoying at times, but is my life Hell? Hell NO!!

I'm a very lucky man and my wife is a joy to be with 99% of the time. We've been together 14 years - the best years of my life.

I was just answering the OP's question. 

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7 hours ago, HooHaa said:

sounds to me that the op could avoid half of his dependency on his wife by having made an effort with the language and asking others directly. Eg for directions.

 

Personally, the kind of relationship described is my idea of a living hell.

The language issue has been delt with in a post not far above...please refer to it...

I have made quite an effort since I also learned to read and write Thai, yet I must admit that I didn't repeat the effort to learn Isaan language...

 

You must be either very young, or blessed by the gods, if your conception of a living hell is to have a wife reluctant to answer questions.

Believe me, there are far far worse things to deal with in life.

 

Sticking with the issue of the Thai wife or GF, over the last 20 years I have seen much worse than aversion to questions: women bleeding the farang (wallet) like a leech, steeling money (3 million baht in one case), seeing other men and even having babies with them, addicted to whatever you can imagine, having terrible families, and so on.

 

The truth is that I have yet to meet the kind of perfect Thai women that many members claim to have married...lucky them!

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Very similar approach from mine when something on her mind.

 

Very immature and outrageously inappropriate responses are also common 

 

I would suggest there is something else on her mind or and mundane questions are a distraction

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On 6/5/2018 at 9:57 AM, atyclb said:

 

the ones that sound like they are arguing are usually the lower class poorly educated ones because they seem to have not learned to speak without yelling.

I wanted to respond the other evening re: yours and the other derogatory Isaan loud women bashing but we got back home last night and TVF definitely is not a trip or vacation thing to do and I was too busy today with more important things than responding to, again, ludicrous one liners.  So here it is late at night where my shower is really more important than y'all but here it goes.

 

You & a couple of others were maybe just poking fun at decent folk's expense.  Maybe not, maybe all of you are into making ludicrous and egregious one liners to try and get yourselves noticed.  If that's not a troll it's defenitly at least a gnome.

 

Ludicrous : stupid or unreasonable statement and is deserving to be laughed at.

 

Egregious : a statement extremely bad or wrong and is noticeable to others that know that it is obviously bad or wrong.

 

Regardless, y'all are way off the mark.  I know a bit about Isaan women and non-Isaan women.

 

I married the loudest women in Thailand.  My wife is from an upper  class family, I was an army brat sergeants son, & she still is the loudest woman in Thailand.  My wife's family each have more money then me even with my SSA deposits plus my AT&T lump sum retirement & she still is the loudest woman in Thailand.  My wife has a masters degree, I just have a bachelors degree & she still is the loudest woman in Thailand.  My wife was career government with full gold weave covered shoulder pads, I was an engineer/technician with no patent to my name & she still is the loudest woman in Thailand.  My wife was born & raised in Isaan, I was born in America and was raised always moving between Europe and the US every three years & she still is the loudest woman in Thailand & still married to me.

 

Let's pretend my wife was lower class poor uneducated Tesco cashier born in Bangkok & she still is the loudest woman in Thailand & she still is the most beautiful woman in Thailand, even at 60, & still married to me.

 

Haven't y'all been here long enough to know not to believe in hokey barstool farang folklore?

 

Edited by timkeen08
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Well I have made an effort to learn the language but my wife still speaks better Thai than me. I could have asked the example question "Do they have this item in white" (it was just an example of how a simple question it could be to answer). 
My wife does answer most everyday questions. Just sometimes I have to ask 2 or 3 times to get a firm answer.
Yesterday I asked if she would like a cup of tea and she said she might have a banana. I said would you like a cup of tea with your banana? She said she didn't know. I said 'well who should I ask then?' Things like that. A little annoying at times, but is my life Hell? Hell NO!!
I'm a very lucky man and my wife is a joy to be with 99% of the time. We've been together 14 years - the best years of my life.
I was just answering the OP's question. 
So what if you don't ask? Do you get "Why didn't you ask if I wanted a cup of tea" ?

I do [emoji23]

Sent from my X9079 using Thailand Forum - Thaivisa mobile app

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My Thai wife hates questions!

She hates answering questions as well as asking them.

 

Let's start with answering questions.

There are a few options regarding how she might react, none of them good I am afraid.

 

The most common is to answer the question with another question.

Q: are you going to visit your friend later today?

A: why?

 

Yet, if she doesn't like the question, for whatever unknown reason, the answer is more brutal.

Q: are you going to visit your friend later today?

A: why do you ask? this is not your business!

 

In another option, she makes up the answer though not to have to search for it.

Q: are the neighbors going to the temple this morning?

A: yes!

Yet in fact they are not going...

 

She also does that when I ask her to translate a question of mine to a third party.

Q: ask the monk if he would like to visit our house.

A: yes he would!

Q: but you didn't ask him! ask please.

A: he says he doesn't have the time

 

Let's now move to asking questions.

 

With friends and relatives there are never any questions asked, other than related to money, that is.

After spending a good half hour talking on the phone, I come with my stupid practical questions.

Q: so your sister is on the road to visit us, will she stay for dinner, overnight...(or any other issue you might think about)?

A: I didn't ask (the answer is always this one)

 

Now, out in the wild world, I sometime have to force her to ask a question to a stranger.

It feels like she'd rather eat a bar of soap.

For example, I am driving in some city, looking for a place where I have never been before.

Q: let me stop and you go ask directions to this guy

A: why don't you turn around a little bit, I am sure we are close.

After finally gathering the strength to go ask someone, it turns out that we were on the wrong side of the city.

 

One last point.

Being a simple and practical guy, I try to generally formulate my questions so that they can be answered with a few words, or even a simple yes or no.

Well, once my question is delt with between my wife and other Thais, it often takes a good ten minutes of talking to get an answer.

 

Is your personal experience similar to mine, or is my wife a special case (lucky me!)?

This is what you get when you marry a baan nok Isaan bumpkin.
 
And you have issues with Issaan Woman? Bad experiance maybe, Stupid with your money maybe?

Do tell us all what your Issue with them is, We would really like to know! NOT

Sent from my X9079 using Thailand Forum - Thaivisa mobile app

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1 hour ago, timkeen08 said:
On 6/5/2018 at 9:57 AM, atyclb said:

 

the ones that sound like they are arguing are usually the lower class poorly educated ones because they seem to have not learned to speak without yelling.

I wanted to respond the other evening re: yours and the other derogatory Isaan loud women bashing but we got back home last night and TVF definitely is not a trip or vacation thing to do and I was too busy today with more important things than responding to, again, ludicrous one liners.  So here it is late at night where my shower is really more important than y'all but here it goes.

 

i never said issan and lower class poorly educated is certainly not limited to issan.  i  imagine having money would mean access to better education and civility and a better chance of what is considered by some, granted not all, as etiquette. things like  chewing food with mouth closed, not yelling while having a normal non angry or escalated conversation.

 

Quote

 

You & a couple of others were maybe just poking fun at decent folk's expense.  Maybe not, maybe all of you are into making ludicrous and egregious one liners to try and get yourselves noticed.  If that's not a troll it's defenitly at least a gnome.

 

i assure you i was not specifically poking fun and or targeting your wife.

 

in my own experiences and observation in thailand indeed i have noticed gals that dont talk but yell at each other and yes there is no lack of this at entertainment venues or what could be perceived as similar gals but outside of entertainment venues.

 

i really dont care if i get attention or get noticed.

 

 

 

Quote

 

Ludicrous : stupid or unreasonable statement and is deserving to be laughed at.

 

Egregious : a statement extremely bad or wrong and is noticeable to others that know that it is obviously bad or wrong.

 

thank you for the dictionary lesson

 

 

 

 

Quote

 

Regardless, y'all are way off the mark.  I know a bit about Isaan women and non-Isaan women.

 

I married the loudest women in Thailand.  My wife is from an upper  class family, I was an army brat sergeants son, & she still is the loudest woman in Thailand.  My wife's family each have more money then me even with my SSA deposits plus my AT&T lump sum retirement & she still is the loudest woman in Thailand. 

 

fascinating .  

 

 

Quote

 

 

 

 

 

 

My wife has a masters degree, I just have a bachelors degree & she still is the loudest woman in Thailand.  My wife was career government with full gold weave covered shoulder pads, I was an engineer/technician with no patent to my name & she still is the loudest woman in Thailand.  My wife was born & raised in Isaan, I was born in America and was raised always moving between Europe and the US every three years & she still is the loudest woman in Thailand & still married to me.

 

fascinating part 2;  again, not targeting your wife but for me personally i would have serious reservation about dating a gal especially with a masters degree that considers yelling as talking.  but that is just me being a hokey barstool farang

 

 

 

Quote

 

Let's pretend my wife was lower class poor uneducated Tesco cashier born in Bangkok & she still is the loudest woman in Thailand & she still is the most beautiful woman in Thailand, even at 60, & still married to me.

 

Haven't y'all been here long enough to know not to believe in hokey barstool farang folklore?

 

 

the 7 eleven gals and the likes seem to be soft well spoken

 

 

 

 

please do consider raising your lithium dose

Edited by atyclb
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21 minutes ago, atyclb said:

 

please do consider raising your lithium dose

I can only imagine the picture if his wife's mouth is as loud (the term he uses) as his own writing!

 

Another lucky guy who found perfection in a country with a reputation for imperfection...

 

21 minutes ago, atyclb said:

 

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28 minutes ago, atyclb said:

 

i never said issan and lower class poorly educated is certainly not limited to issan.  i  imagine having money would mean access to better education and civility and a better chance of what is considered by some, granted not all, as etiquette. things like  chewing food with mouth closed, not yelling while having a normal non angry or escalated conversation.

 

 

i assure you i was not specifically poking fun and or targeting your wife.

 

in my own experiences and observation in thailand indeed i have noticed gals that dont talk but yell at each other and yes there is no lack of this at entertainment venues or what could be perceived as similar gals but outside of entertainment venues.

 

i really dont care if i get attention or get noticed.

 

 

 

 

thank you for the dictionary lesson

 

 

 

 

 

fascinating .  

 

 

 

fascinating part 2;  again, not targeting your wife but for me personally i would have serious reservation about dating a gal especially with a masters degree that considers yelling as talking.  but that is just me being a hokey barstool farang

 

 

 

 

 

the 7 eleven gals and the likes seem to be soft well spoken

 

 

 

 

please do consider raising your lithium dose

I don't need or never needed lithium.  That's such an old and outdated line, did you look it up in your book of one liners or just read it somewhere?  I can't believe you actually did reuse it.  But you do need something more like reading a book to learn some comprehension skills since you did miss the point that I did make a point about what you wrote AND what the other bashers quoted on that whole thread when you did originally comment on that thread with your one liner after the thread was already bashed.  You don't read the whole post or thread?  Just throw in your one liner or response anywhere.  Don't check what others have posted before or after?  The book is called contextual reading with full comprehension.  Try it.

 

Or is it you who really needs lithium or something since you do have trouble staying on track and you don't seem to know what's up or down in a thread or is that your way to try to save face again and again by focusing on only some of what others have written trying to take it out of context to try and prove you can't be wrong?  You don't ever write anything beyond one line that makes any real sense.  Is that why you broke my post into parts?  Easier for you to read or try to twist out of contex and go off on a tangent in an attempt to take what I actually wrote out of context with your own words inserted that you think might justify your response? 

 

You do need to stick to one liners even though they are ludicrous, egregious, and as old and used as an old and used old tire.  I'm just going to ignore you without the button right now since I have a better idea of your level of knowledge and skills and I have pretty much figured out your game.  So maybe I will tone it down a little, use smaller sentences, and posts for you although that really does go against my grain and probably won't help you with your face issues.  Goodnight.

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1 hour ago, Brunolem said:

I can only imagine the picture if his wife's mouth is as loud (the term he uses) as his own writing!

 

Another lucky guy who found perfection in a country with a reputation for imperfection...

 

Not even responding beyond the point that I never mentioned my wife's mouth, you did although you said "the term he uses".  Finished with with your crap.  Sorry I didn't notice it was your post to begin with and with your cronies. I am double checking my ignore button.  Write on.

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11 minutes ago, timkeen08 said:

I don't need or never needed lithium.  That's such an old and outdated line, did you look it up in your book of one liners or just read it somewhere?  I can't believe you actually did reuse it.  But you do need something more like reading a book to learn some comprehension skills since you did miss the point that I did make a point about what you wrote AND what the other bashers quoted on that whole thread when you did originally comment on that thread with your one liner after the thread was already bashed.  You don't read the whole post or thread?  Just throw in your one liner or response anywhere.  Don't check what others have posted before or after?  The book is called contextual reading with full comprehension.  Try it.

 

Or is it you who really needs lithium or something since you do have trouble staying on track and you don't seem to know what's up or down in a thread or is that your way to try to save face again and again by focusing on only some of what others have written trying to take it out of context to try and prove you can't be wrong?  You don't ever write anything beyond one line that makes any real sense.  Is that why you broke my post into parts?  Easier for you to read or try to twist out of contex and go off on a tangent in an attempt to take what I actually wrote out of context with your own words inserted that you think might justify your response? 

 

You do need to stick to one liners even though they are ludicrous, egregious, and as old and used as an old and used old tire.  I'm just going to ignore you without the button right now since I have a better idea of your level of knowledge and skills and I have pretty much figured out your game.  So maybe I will tone it down a little, use smaller sentences, and posts for you although that really does go against my grain and probably won't help you with your face issues.  Goodnight.

 

 

lithium  tongue in cheek

 

we all need it and likely cant live without it since it powers so many batteries from cell phones to laptops to cars

 

breaking you post into parts obviously is to show section specific replies 

 

simply silly to think i believe in the concept of face and losing face

 

dont take everything so personally as if it is designed as an attack against you

 

it is not, it is just an analyses and comment.   

 

your attempts to demeanor me referring to contextual reading and reading comprehension or anything i write beyond one liners not making sense is plain silly.

 

no need to try to denigrate or demean you since you do that quite well on your own

 

what is your idea of my level of knowledge and skills?   i'll have you know at the bare minimum i graduated high school

 

 

 

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19 minutes ago, timkeen08 said:
1 hour ago, Brunolem said:

I can only imagine the picture if his wife's mouth is as loud (the term he uses) as his own writing!

 

Another lucky guy who found perfection in a country with a reputation for imperfection...

 

Not even responding beyond the point that I never mentioned my wife's mouth, you did although you said "the term he uses".  Finished with with your crap.  Sorry I didn't notice it was your post to begin with and with your cronies. I am double checking my ignore button.  Write on.

 

 

nah, it cant be, you are guy that espoused "contextual reading with full comprehension" . and even wrote to me

 

"The book is called contextual reading with full comprehension.  Try it."  (post #232)

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1 hour ago, timkeen08 said:

I don't need or never needed lithium.  That's such an old and outdated line, did you look it up in your book of one liners or just read it somewhere?  I can't believe you actually did reuse it.  But you do need something more like reading a book to learn some comprehension skills since you did miss the point that I did make a point about what you wrote AND what the other bashers quoted on that whole thread when you did originally comment on that thread with your one liner after the thread was already bashed.  You don't read the whole post or thread?  Just throw in your one liner or response anywhere.  Don't check what others have posted before or after?  The book is called contextual reading with full comprehension.  Try it.

 

Or is it you who really needs lithium or something since you do have trouble staying on track and you don't seem to know what's up or down in a thread or is that your way to try to save face again and again by focusing on only some of what others have written trying to take it out of context to try and prove you can't be wrong?  You don't ever write anything beyond one line that makes any real sense.  Is that why you broke my post into parts?  Easier for you to read or try to twist out of contex and go off on a tangent in an attempt to take what I actually wrote out of context with your own words inserted that you think might justify your response? 

 

You do need to stick to one liners even though they are ludicrous, egregious, and as old and used as an old and used old tire.  I'm just going to ignore you without the button right now since I have a better idea of your level of knowledge and skills and I have pretty much figured out your game.  So maybe I will tone it down a little, use smaller sentences, and posts for you although that really does go against my grain and probably won't help you with your face issues.  Goodnight.

 

goodnight to you also

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5 hours ago, atyclb said:

 

goodnight to you also

You just can't let anything go without trying to have the last word can you?   Even if it's just the same type of jibberish.  Say what you want from here on out.  Your the 2nd basher bater I've used the button with.  Two peas in a pod.  How's that for a one liner.  Oh, that's right I will never know you response.  Just talk to yourself and you can jabber on about it with someone else cause you can't let go.  That's obsessive compulsion or an addiction at least.  If you do respond to me you are in serious need of help.

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10 hours ago, timkeen08 said:

Not even responding beyond the point that I never mentioned my wife's mouth, you did although you said "the term he uses".  Finished with with your crap.  Sorry I didn't notice it was your post to begin with and with your cronies. I am double checking my ignore button.  Write on.

The "loudest woman" in Thailand...your writing...

There are not many ways to be loud...if the sound doesn't come her mouth, from where then?

 

And try to refrain using the ignore button everytime you disagree with someone, it makes you look like a West Coast snowflake...

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10 hours ago, timkeen08 said:

I don't need or never needed lithium.  That's such an old and outdated line, did you look it up in your book of one liners or just read it somewhere?  I can't believe you actually did reuse it.  But you do need something more like reading a book to learn some comprehension skills since you did miss the point that I did make a point about what you wrote AND what the other bashers quoted on that whole thread when you did originally comment on that thread with your one liner after the thread was already bashed.  You don't read the whole post or thread?  Just throw in your one liner or response anywhere.  Don't check what others have posted before or after?  The book is called contextual reading with full comprehension.  Try it.

 

Or is it you who really needs lithium or something since you do have trouble staying on track and you don't seem to know what's up or down in a thread or is that your way to try to save face again and again by focusing on only some of what others have written trying to take it out of context to try and prove you can't be wrong?  You don't ever write anything beyond one line that makes any real sense.  Is that why you broke my post into parts?  Easier for you to read or try to twist out of contex and go off on a tangent in an attempt to take what I actually wrote out of context with your own words inserted that you think might justify your response? 

 

You do need to stick to one liners even though they are ludicrous, egregious, and as old and used as an old and used old tire.  I'm just going to ignore you without the button right now since I have a better idea of your level of knowledge and skills and I have pretty much figured out your game.  So maybe I will tone it down a little, use smaller sentences, and posts for you although that really does go against my grain and probably won't help you with your face issues.  Goodnight.

No lithium then, but what about anger management?

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