Lawyer

[Jamesyboi]

Why a lawyer should never ask a question of a witness if he isn't prepared for the answer.

In a trial, a southern small town prosecuting attorney called his first witness to the stand - an elderly grandmother. He approached her and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know me?"

She responded, "Why, yes I do know you, Mr. Williams. I've known you since you were a young boy, and frankly, you've been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you're a big shot when you haven't the brains to realise you never will amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you."

The lawyer was stunned. Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the room and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know the defence attorney?"

She again replied, "Why yes, I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he was a youngster, too. He's lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking problem. He can't build a normal relationship with anyone and his law practice is one of the worst in the entire state. Not to mention he cheated on his wife with three different women. Yes, I know him."

The defence attorney almost died!

At this point, the judge brought the courtroom to silence, called the prosecutor and defence lawyer to the bench, and in a very quiet voice, said, "If either of you bastards asks her if she knows me, you'll be goaled for contempt."