Leaving Thailand after 13 Years..

[markusss]

After years of procrastination and all the excuses I've decided that it's time to go back home to Australia. I've had a good life here. I've made lots of good friends, had so many great times, witnessed many changes here in Thailand over the last 13 years, some good, most bad, but I'm not happy here anymore, and haven't been for some time. I seem to be the last man standing at this point due to almost all of my old friends having left Thailand themselves. Has anyone here on this forum lived in Thailand for such an extended period of time and left? How was your experience? Was it hard to readjust to the so called modern life of the west with its mundane 9-5 routine? Did you feel like the odd one out there just as you did here in Thailand? Did you end up moving back to Thailand?

Edited July 20, 2018 by markusss

[poanoi]

i left after 13 years and moved to cambodia,

thinking it was going to be less painful

than any more visa runs to laos,

but i got that part wrong, i have not had so much

unbearable pain in the rest of the world combined

as i had in cambodia, so when my 3 years in exile

was finally up and i was 50, i moved back to thailand.

But: it became cemented injuries, i can no longer live a life,

i have too much pain every second, i wish for death

Edited July 20, 2018 by poanoi

[markusss]

2 minutes ago, poanoi said:

i left after 13 years and moved to camboia,

thinking it was going to be less painful

than any more visa runs to laos,

but i got that part wrong, i have not had so much

unbearable pain in the rest of the world combined

as i had in cambodia, so when my 3 years in exile

was finally up and i was 50, i moved back to thailand.

But: it became cemented injuries, i can no longer live a life,

i have too much pain every second, i wish for death

What was so bad about life in Cambodia for you? I know that no place is paradise, but Thailand used to be fun, relaxed and easy going. These selling points of Thailand have changed a great deal. I've always believed that Thailand was over-policed but sine the entry of the military here it is out of control. Just too much police and military presence in Thai society to be conducive to a happy, easy going lifestyle here. That's my opinion anyway & happens to be the same opinion of many Thais I speak with about this too. But i'm not going to debate anyone about this here. If anyone finds themselves to be very happy here in Thailand as it is today then I'm happy for them too.

[poanoi]

cambodia only ever has low quality foam mattresses,

i broke my back after a single night in the first shithole,

i bought the most expensive spring mattress i could find

for the 2nd shithole, but it was still no quality.

its also a possibility that i broke my back so hard in the first night so nothing can change it back,

i cant even tell if a mattress or chair is good or not, for i never sense comfort

Edited July 20, 2018 by poanoi

[thequietman]

15 minutes ago, poanoi said:

i left after 13 years and moved to cambodia,

thinking it was going to be less painful

than any more visa runs to laos,

but i got that part wrong, i have not had so much

unbearable pain in the rest of the world combined

as i had in cambodia, so when my 3 years in exile

was finally up and i was 50, i moved back to thailand.

But: it became cemented injuries, i can no longer live a life,

i have too much pain every second, i wish for death

OK, I am a little concerned for you.

 

Is everything OK for you now? I hope so.

[mstevens]

I left Thailand 3 years ago after living there for a similar length of time as you.  My feelings were much the same as yours - there was a time when I loved my life in Thailand but those feelings changed over time, eroded and I found myself enjoying myself more when I visited friends and family back home.  Like you, it took a few years to actually make the decision and leave Thailand, sell up everything and move my life and my wife back home.  I don't have any regrets.  That's not to say that I don't miss Thailand because I do miss some things, but with a Thai Mrs we still visit Thailand regularly - about once every 8 months or so.

 

Each of Thailand and our homeland have their respective advantages and disadvantages.  Just be honest with yourself about what you want from life and which country offers you what you're looking for.

 

FWIW, the things I don't like about being back home are the high cost of living, the political correctness and the village mentality.  Many people cannot comprehend the lives we had in Thailand....and most are not even that interested.  But the negatives are relatively minor and are more than outweighed by all the positives.

 

Threads like this come up from time to time and I have read more than a few people say that the culture shock of returning home is greater than the culture shock of moving to Thailand in the first place.  I never experienced any culture shock at home, or "reverse culture shock" as some call it.  At this stage in my life I prefer to live in the West, and know I can still visit Thailand any time.  More and more, I feel Thailand is best enjoyed as a tourist, and not as a resident.

[markusss]

5 minutes ago, mstevens said:

I left Thailand 3 years ago after living there for a similar length of time as you.  My feelings were much the same as yours - there was a time when I loved my life in Thailand but those feelings changed over time, eroded and I found myself enjoying myself more when I visited friends and family back home.  Like you, it took a few years to actually make the decision and leave Thailand, sell up everything and move my life and my wife back home.  I don't have any regrets.  That's not to say that I don't miss Thailand because I do miss some things, but with a Thai Mrs we still visit Thailand regularly - about once every 8 months or so.

 

Each of Thailand and our homeland have their respective advantages and disadvantages.  Just be honest with yourself about what you want from life and which country offers you what you're looking for.

 

FWIW, the things I don't like about being back home are the high cost of living, the political correctness and the village mentality.  Many people cannot comprehend the lives we had in Thailand....and most are not even that interested.  But the negatives are relatively minor and are more than outweighed by all the positives.

 

Threads like this come up from time to time and I have read more than a few people say that the culture shock of returning home is greater than the culture shock of moving to Thailand in the first place.  I never experienced any culture shock at home, or "reverse culture shock" as some call it.  At this stage in my life I prefer to live in the West, and know I can still visit Thailand any time.  More and more, I feel Thailand is best enjoyed as a tourist, and not as a resident.

Great points made here. It's good to read such a positive report. I need all the encouragement I can get at this point. While I don't have a wife or children here, Thailand will always be a part of who I am. The ironic thing is Thailand is the place where I matured and developed real survival skills in terms of taking better care of myself & growing as a person. It's important to remember why I left Australia in the first place. For me it was a sense of adventure, a lust for life, and a need for more than what Australian suburban life could ever provide. I also left drug addiction behind and through language acquisition I found my life and outlook in general to be so much more positive, inspiring & rewarding, to which I continue to this day. I'm not going back the same person I was so I feel ready & determined to use better life choices than the ones I made previously when I lived in Australia. I intend to keep my love for Thailand going through vlogging. I really don't want to lose my language ability which I worked so hard at and was a huge part of me being able to leave my drug dependency behind for good. 

[poanoi]

5 minutes ago, theguyfromanotherforum said:

 

I don't know where your home is, but why don't you go back?

 

I am leaving for Canada tomorrow. I am not sure if I will be back to Thailand. Thailand is just low quality everything. Big issue is I don't know what to do with wife. She is happy here.

 

I can't wait to be in the civilization again and I can't wait to see good qualified doctors who don't pretend to know everything.

i can not make the trip back,

there are so many hopeless steps i cant cope with,

the distances too great, and no amount of money can

persuade the doctors to ever bother with my case.

 

also if i was in such a state that i thought i could do this

enterprise, i would likely just get on with my life,

either here in thailand or very possible a warm plot

of land belonging to EU

[luk AJ]

i can not make the trip back,
there are so many hopeless steps i cant cope with,
the distances too great, and no amount of money can
persuade the doctors to ever bother with my case.
 
also if i was in such a state that i thought i could do this
enterprise, i would likely just get on with my life,
either here in thailand or very possible a warm plot
of land belonging to EU

It is hard to believe that you can’t find a doctor in Thailand who can help you..back pain is terrible and does work on your mood I was in pain for many years 24/7 postponing the inevitable operation. Went to the specialist, fragments of the hernia were grown on my spinal cord, so a very risky operation. Revalidation was long, the outcome was not perfect but I can live painless most of the time. Later I had heart surgery, triple bypass, I survived that as well. Although I could have done the surgery in my home country, I had faith in these doctors and they did a good job. Today I fitness and even play squash once a week. So instead of being negative, do something about your back problem!

[poanoi]

12 minutes ago, luk AJ said:

It is hard to believe that you can’t find a doctor in Thailand who can help you..back pain is terrible and does work on your mood I was in pain for many years 24/7 postponing the inevitable operation. Went to the specialist, fragments of the hernia were grown on my spinal cord, so a very risky operation. Revalidation was long, the outcome was not perfect but I can live painless most of the time. Later I had heart surgery, triple bypass, I survived that as well. Although I could have done the surgery in my home country, I had faith in these doctors and they did a good job. Today I fitness and even play squash once a week. So instead of being negative, do something about your back problem!

there is one thing i dread even more than the pain,

and that is being paralyzed, with pain to top things off.

ideally, i would have a few capsules of 15 gram nembutal

handy when the doctor put me to sleep,

and when i wake up, its not going to take long to verify if

i got better or i need some water to go with the pills

[Sheryl]

7 minutes ago, poanoi said:

there is one thing i dread even more than the pain,

and that is being paralyzed, with pain to top things off.

ideally, i would have a few capsules of 15 gram nembutal

handy when the doctor put me to sleep,

and when i wake up, its not going to take long to verify if

i got better or i need some water to go with the pills

Have you actually been recommended to have surgery by a spinal specialist?

 

Do you actually know he odds of waking up paralyzed (extremely small)

[Sheryl]

references to illegal activity have been removed

[poanoi]

1 minute ago, Sheryl said:

Have you actually been recommended to have surgery by a spinal specialist?

 

Do you actually know he odds of waking up paralyzed (extremely small)

yes, i have been recommended by you to BCH,

i'm currently burning off fat in hope its going to make surgery

easier, but i also dread surgery without

nembutal at the ready,

i dont want a single solitary second paralyzed

[Odysseus123]

1 hour ago, markusss said:

Great points made here. It's good to read such a positive report. I need all the encouragement I can get at this point. While I don't have a wife or children here, Thailand will always be a part of who I am. The ironic thing is Thailand is the place where I matured and developed real survival skills in terms of taking better care of myself & growing as a person. It's important to remember why I left Australia in the first place. For me it was a sense of adventure, a lust for life, and a need for more than what Australian suburban life could ever provide. I also left drug addiction behind and through language acquisition I found my life and outlook in general to be so much more positive, inspiring & rewarding, to which I continue to this day. I'm not going back the same person I was so I feel ready & determined to use better life choices than the ones I made previously when I lived in Australia. I intend to keep my love for Thailand going through vlogging. I really don't want to lose my language ability which I worked so hard at and was a huge part of me being able to leave my drug dependency behind for good. 

I have really enjoyed reading your posts.

 

Yes after seven years full time I returned to Australia (14 years travelling back and forth) for medical reasons and the fact that the climate took an horrendous toll...

 

The reverse culture  shock was a bit daunting but the Aussie health care system has been wonderful...

 

I dunno..different strokes for different folks but one of my more humorous tendencies has been not to trust  any zebra crossing.-with or without lights.I am still amazed that traffic actually stops.Magic.

 

On the other hand ,a decent meat pie from Baker's Delight has been an intergalactic sensation.

 

Just take it easy when you are settling back in..

 

Ody.

[GinBoy2]

Well these threads seem to be coming thick and fast recently.

Without wanting to repeat myself too much, since I've participated in several similar discussions.

10 years and I was done for all the usual reasons, the shine had finally totally worn off.

So, been back in the US just over a year, with a vacation in Thailand for a couple of months over the winter.

Moving back home felt like a weight had been lifted from my shoulders. Life was just so easy again, no more having to deny plain facts that stared me in the face.

When people were friendly, they meant it, there wasn't garbage everywhere, no mangey dogs prowling the streets, when people drove they 'generally' obeyed the rules, cops were cops, and in general everything just worked! Oh yeah, and the power stays on, even after 2 claps of thunder!

The other plus of moving back was, when we returned for a vacation, it felt like a vacation, I could enjoy all those thing that first attracted me to the country, without having all the BS build up over time totally making me miserable.

[euroflash]

I moved back to Northern Europe three years ago after 11 years in Thailand. I am still trying to figure out whether to stay here or move back to Thailand.

 

I moved back mainly to try to find a real job, but now I work online, so that is not really a factor anymore.

 

I tried to make a list of pros and cons of Thailand and my home country and the result was 6-6! So it really is a difficult decision in my case.

 

While I do appreciate the more civil life here, I still hate the grey weather and high cost of living. I also miss the more simple life in Thailand. People in my country seem to complain about such small issues that pale in comparison with the real problems of this world.

 

But I certainly don't miss the visa hassle and dirty streets. At least here I can stay forever.

 

The jury is still out in my case...

Edited July 20, 2018 by euroflash

[Lacessit]

I've been living here for 9 years. A couple of the people I know have died here. My problem with going back to Australia is everything is so expensive, particularly housing and water/power. Against that, my medical costs are almost free there, and the doctors don't think they are gods.

I can live well here in Thailand. In Australia, my diet would probably be toast and bowl noodles.

[markusss]

50 minutes ago, Odysseus123 said:

I have really enjoyed reading your posts.

 

Yes after seven years full time I returned to Australia (14 years travelling back and forth) for medical reasons and the fact that the climate took an horrendous toll...

 

The reverse culture  shock was a bit daunting but the Aussie health care system has been wonderful...

 

I dunno..different strokes for different folks but one of my more humorous tendencies has been not to trust  any zebra crossing.-with or without lights.I am still amazed that traffic actually stops.Magic.

 

On the other hand ,a decent meat pie from Baker's Delight has been an intergalactic sensation.

 

Just take it easy when you are settling back in..

 

Ody.

Baker's Delight certainly sounds good mate! I am looking forward to all the creature comforts of life in Australia. But I know the novelty will wear off fast. But I'm in my early 40s now. Not the young man I was when I first left and arrived here without a care in the world other than doing what I wanted. The best time for me here was between 2005 & 2008 I think. I had a great bunch of mates & had loads of great times especially with gfs here. While the political dramas were certainly well into play back then, it was still fun and Thais in general were good value and always up for a good laugh. But I seldom have those moments here these days. Life here seems to be consumed by how much the military grip has tightened & and not to mention the hypocrisy of this place which has reached a point where I can no longer follow the news here anymore. But I'm leaving on my own terms & I intend to get a T-shirt printed that reads "I lived in Thailand for 13 years & survived" ? 

[BEVUP]

9 minutes ago, Lacessit said:

I've been living here for 9 years. A couple of the people I know have died here. My problem with going back to Australia is everything is so expensive, particularly housing and water/power. Against that, my medical costs are almost free there, and the doctors don't think they are gods.

I can live well here in Thailand. In Australia, my diet would probably be toast and bowl noodles.

Agree

But I still go to & from Auss & now that my industry is drying up I have to start looking at accommodation.

They most probably not look at me since I have no rental history so would have to stay in van parks which are expensive

Would not be making much inhand money per week 

[markusss]

48 minutes ago, GinBoy2 said:

Well these threads seem to be coming thick and fast recently.

Without wanting to repeat myself too much, since I've participated in several similar discussions.

10 years and I was done for all the usual reasons, the shine had finally totally worn off.

So, been back in the US just over a year, with a vacation in Thailand for a couple of months over the winter.

Moving back home felt like a weight had been lifted from my shoulders. Life was just so easy again, no more having to deny plain facts that stared me in the face.

When people were friendly, they meant it, there wasn't garbage everywhere, no mangey dogs prowling the streets, when people drove they 'generally' obeyed the rules, cops were cops, and in general everything just worked! Oh yeah, and the power stays on, even after 2 claps of thunder!

The other plus of moving back was, when we returned for a vacation, it felt like a vacation, I could enjoy all those thing that first attracted me to the country, without having all the BS build up over time totally making me miserable.

I'm not surprised that these threads of leaving are coming up as often as you said. I'm pressed to find anyone who raves about this place as many of us did back in the day. I'm never one to be a stickler or a complainer but I can't go on making excuses for this place anymore. I'm not saying that Thailand needs to fun all the time. I just don't remember it ever being this serious which I've found to become a completely boring & uninspiring experience. Due to this it's just not worth all the hoops one has to jump through to stay legal and out of the establishment's reach. But I'm not leaving as a hater. I still value  working class Thais & their hospitality which I will always miss and have fond memories of.

[Odysseus123]

7 minutes ago, markusss said:

Baker's Delight certainly sounds good mate! I am looking forward to all the creature comforts of life in Australia. But I know the novelty will wear off fast. But I'm in my early 40s now. Not the young man I was when I first left and arrived here without a care in the world other than doing what I wanted. The best time for me here was between 2005 & 2008 I think. I had a great bunch of mates & had loads of great times especially with gfs here. While the political dramas were certainly well into play back then, it was still fun and Thais in general were good value and always up for a good laugh. But I seldom have those moments here these days. Life here seems to be consumed by how much the military grip has tightened & and not to mention the hypocrisy of this place which has reached a point where I can no longer follow the news here anymore. But I'm leaving on my own terms & I intend to get a T-shirt printed that reads "I lived in Thailand for 13 years & survived" ? 

Well done Markusss-have a great time when you get back.

 

It's hard to say 'bout the kingdom really but I know what you mean.

 

Have a coldie on me!

[Lacessit]

Just now, BEVUP said:

Agree

But I still go to & from Auss & now that my industry is drying up I have to start looking at accommodation.

They most probably not look at me since I have no rental history so would have to stay in van parks which are expensive

Would not be making much inhand money per week 

One of my fallback options for Australia is buying a cheap motorhome. Although some of the prices  are ridiculous, $180 a night for a cabin in a van park in Mildura. Even powered sites are getting expensive, $40 a night.

[markusss]

17 minutes ago, Lacessit said:

I've been living here for 9 years. A couple of the people I know have died here. My problem with going back to Australia is everything is so expensive, particularly housing and water/power. Against that, my medical costs are almost free there, and the doctors don't think they are gods.

I can live well here in Thailand. In Australia, my diet would probably be toast and bowl noodles.

I agree about the cost of living. But when I way up the freedom of movement i will gain back again without having to look over my shoulder or check thaivisa for the latest visa rules again, I just feel the Aus is a much better place for me. The right of passage I have is something I've never really considered or really appreciated. But it is my home, and I intend to make the best of it.

[markusss]

3 minutes ago, Odysseus123 said:

Well done Markusss-have a great time when you get back.

 

It's hard to say 'bout the kingdom really but I know what you mean.

 

Have a coldie on me!

I will Ody! Thanks for your good wishes & your valuable input mate ? 

[Lacessit]

Just now, markusss said:

I agree about the cost of living. But when I way up the freedom of movement i will gain back again without having to look over my shoulder or check thaivisa for the latest visa rules again, I just feel the Aus is a much better place for me. The right of passage I have is something I've never really considered or really appreciated. But it is my home, and I intend to make the best of it.

Your situation is different to mine. The retirement visa and extensions is a relatively painless process. 90 day reports are a PITA, but easier if you use an agent.

[Odysseus123]

1 minute ago, markusss said:

I agree about the cost of living. But when I way up the freedom of movement i will gain back again without having to look over my shoulder or check thaivisa for the latest visa rules again, I just feel the Aus is a much better place for me. The right of passage I have is something I've never really considered or really appreciated. But it is my home, and I intend to make the best of it.

Yep...

Glorious blue skies..

"and he sees the vision splendid of the sunlit plains extended.

and at night the wondrous glory of the everlasting stars.."

 

 

 

 

[markusss]

40 minutes ago, euroflash said:

I moved back to Northern Europe three years ago after 11 years in Thailand. I am still trying to figure out whether to stay here or move back to Thailand.

 

I moved back mainly to try to find a real job, but now I work online, so that is not really a factor anymore.

 

I tried to make a list of pros and cons of Thailand and my home country and the result was 6-6! So it really is a difficult decision in my case.

 

While I do appreciate the more civil life here, I still hate the grey weather and high cost of living. I also miss the more simple life in Thailand. People in my country seem to complain about such small issues that pale in comparison with the real problems of this world.

 

But I certainly don't miss the visa hassle and dirty streets. At least here I can stay forever.

 

The jury is still out in my case...

It's definitely a reality check reading your post. It's not all a bed of roses returning home. I think one of the biggest appeals of life for me over the years here is being left alone & not to mention being out of the loop of all the dramas and bullshit that comes from my family back in Aus. While it gets boring being the obligatory farang here which used to make me roll my eyes, I now give it back by calling them some random piece of fruit, which then invites a bit of banter with the locals. But I do have my bad days where I don't want to hear it, but this is where headphones come in handy ?

[GinBoy2]

Honestly family was one of my big pulls to repatriate.

I'm extremely close to my daughters, especially my eldest Even when I was in Thailand we spoke on the phone at least every second day.

A lot of folks who do tough it out in Thailand, generally don't have a lot of family connections. In fact in my experience quite a few seem totally estranged from their family back home.

I could probably live anywhere in the world, in fact I've lived in a whole bunch of countries, from eye candy, to total sh**t holes, but for me at least, that 'blood is thicker than water' thing holds true.

.....as I told my ex wife once, probably prophetically, "I'm related to my kids, I'm only married to you"

[markusss]

11 minutes ago, GinBoy2 said:

A lot of folks who do tough it out in Thailand, generally don't have a lot of family connections. In fact in my experience quite a few seem totally estranged from their family back home.

 

I consider myself one of those folks- Which has made it very easy to stay here for so long. Outside of close friends, I can't say I've felt a longing to be close to my family again. They only contact me when someone has died. In my experience my family only ever got together on 2 occasions: funerals and Christmas. The latter being on the wane since my grand parents died. This has always been a point of interest and even concern from many Thais who can't comprehend a life without a loving family. But it is what it is.

[GinBoy2]

I'm an American Hispanic, and contrary to popular and hysterical propaganda, not not all hispanics breed like rabbits to overwhelm the white folks.

So, unusually for my generation I'm an only child, which does mean that my immediate family is quite small. But, I've always kept a relationship with my cousins aunts etc...the uncles all seem to be dead!

So it does help, having that family thing going on