Are Thai Ladies Justified In Being Paid Every Month By Their Boyfriend/Husband, Or Does It Create The Perception Of Long Term Prostitution?

[MadameM]

12 hours ago, Shiver said:

Spidey, (...and this is not aimed at Britman quote btw - just a point where I jumped into the thread and nothing more or less), but I think some are being overly harsh to you.  To me it sounds like you've worked out a position you enjoy that works for you that you might suggest is maybe not 100%, but right up there in the high percentiles of success by *your own* standards (they're the ones that count) that works for you.

 

Of all of us on TV, it seems some people only know how to drag people down.  Putting online behaviour aside for a moment, I see this a lot more in everyday life than I'd hope for, and it's as if people who cannot pull themselves up, they want to pull others down.  One phrase I remember from many years ago was "There are two ways of making a mark in life.  1. You get to have a Rolls Royce. 2.  You can scratch someone elses Rolls Royce".  A bit over simplistic of course, but you get the general drift.

I don't talk about anything here that is about what I *really* think feel or do.  It's sanitised, photoshopped, cropped with just enough left in there for people to have a believable CGI Hollywood story.  There are no lies and I'm not misleading, but just trying to keep it to a couple of paragraphs rather than a workshop manual in progress.

If you'd have asked me at 10pm last night what I think of my wife I would paint glowing images.  An hour later close to polar opposite.  Does it matter to TV? No, not a jot.

Here's a fairly typical scenario that I think many will be able to paint their own version in the same framework:

I wake up, and I'm coming out of a dream where there is a bowl of Quaker rolled oats.  I open my eyes and wifey is making her 'slimming' coffee.  I say "if I look online for an image of a cereal can you see if they sell it in Tops/Villa or somewhere?". "Jok finished late already", "yeah that's fine, but I'd like some rolled oats, I don't know how to say in Thai, so if I show you an image would you look next time you're shopping?", "Urg".  "What did I just ask for, were you listening?" "Urg", (louder) "what question did I just ask you?" "no have Jok, 11 oclock *already*!", "yes I know, but I'm not asking about Jok, I'm asking about something else, do you remember?".  I take a deep breath, open my eyes, and she's not even there.

10 mins later she comes back in the house (after taking the dog out for morning 'duties'). "We have an issue that can make this +100 or -100, and it's all about a couple of very small things, will you listen to me". (frustratedly) "What do you want?", "well I was talking about breakfast but forget about that for now I'll find something myself, but I'm now talking about relationships and how to keep it simple in a way that we can both understand each other.  I thought about this and I know you think I think too much, but I'm okay with thinking a lot, as that is what I do to make money, protect what we have and to take care of us and I don't make that you're problem, it just happens without you having to think, but (pauses).... can you listen just for a few seconds please?". "What?", "If I say something and I ask you what the question is, and you don't know, then you're disrespecting me putting the dog ahead of me and so far as I know the dog doesn't pay the rent". "Here!" (slams down a tin of Quaker rolled oats".  I get up and check and yes it's 'yer actual'. "Yes, that's exactly what I was asking for 25 minutes ago, what do you do with them?"

 

....it went on but no resolution, no breakfast, no communication, none of the other kind of 'oats' either.  She's punishing me with her thoughtlessness and she's not happy feeling this way.  I can firewall this and feel nothing.  I've had to become good at that, because I know there's something she's not telling me about that is bothering her and I think I know what it is, and I'm waiting for her to communicate it with me (she doesn't have to worry about it if I'm right, and all could be golden in 1 minute flat), but Thai-Farang, Thinking-communication. Well....

That's why I don't rant about the truth of things too much on here.  The above is an example of why.  It'll just bore everyone.  Better to go on FaceBook and say:
"Hi, how are you?"
"Hi, everything's perfect, here are the best pictures we chose from our last holiday to show everyone how happy and successful we are" (while they cry themselves to sleep).

TL;DR:  Spidey, you know what you like, you lead your life, better to not defend yourself, not complain, not explain, just do what makes you and yours happy.  It isn't perfect but it's better than fighting moquitos with a spanner.

Have a nice Sunday. I'm off to shower, open my eyes proper, see if wifey wants to crack about what is bothering her, and if not I'm going to hang out at a farang friends place with other farangs by the pool and drink some afternoon beers, and I'll no longer be thinking about what 'she' feels.  Monday maybe there'll be toothpaste on the toothbrush again, which is a silent signal of everything okay (or that my breath stinks because I drank beer - the two are not entirely unrelated and I know that, but I'm waiting will a million litres of spare air supply until she has to spit it out of her mind).  Btw, anyone know how to write in Thai "Don't bring a gun to a Drone fight"?

 

Lovely Sunday morning here in California -- no yellow sky filled with smog from 17 wildfires!

Enjoy reading your story... so much that... a Thai wife in California wants to jump in ?

As they said Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus, usually wives have been thinking about something for several long days and nights before they start acting up physically. I have been there and done that with no or little result. Hubby won't get it! You cry your eyes out; you scream your head off -- he won't get it. We have different mindsets chemically or something. So, now and after 25 years, if I want to give him a piece of my mind, I just take away his TV remote control -- to get his attention, and say it! He may be upset; I may be more agitated. Then he yells -- most of the time I yell first. Get up, walk away, bang the door... Six hours later, I come toward him and apologize for my bad temper and harsh words; he takes turn apologize for his ignorance. And, there we go again -- the same old boring soap opera! on a strong, human-relationship foundation. Love is still there, but there're something else that keep two different people together.

 

This line has nothing to do with the topic, but I saw you mention about oat rolls, so my question is where can we find the old-style oat rolls, steel cut oat and oat bran in Thailand or Chiang Rai (I'll be in Chiang Rai in 2 weeks - exciting!). I ate oat-rolls + steel cut oat + oat bran and cook them together patiently. Then have my oat meal with milk and fresh fruits. It reduces my cholesterol down from 294 to 227 in 6 months. I took this recipe out of the checking line in a store when I saw an old, white male with three kinds of oat. I was curious and we started talking. Soon later I try the recipe myself and love my oatmeal for the result and the taste.  O.K. is there any place in the Kingdom that I can buy these three kinds of oat. I am thinking of bringing them with me to Thailand. 

[BritManToo]

9 hours ago, MadameM said:

so my question is where can we find the old-style oat rolls, steel cut oat and oat bran in Thailand or Chiang Rai (I'll be in Chiang Rai in 2 weeks - exciting!)

Makro, YoK and Rimping in Chiang Mai all sell them, American and Thai brands, not expensive either, from around 50bht/Kg and up.

(I already posted this once, not sure about Oat Bran, but two out of three ain't bad))

Edited August 13, 2018 by BritManToo

[Shiver]

23 hours ago, BritManToo said:

Makro sells their own brand 'rolled oats', in the same aisle as cornflakes, usually just to the right.

About 50bht/Kg.

 

PS, don't treat your wife as your servant, and you'll have fewer confrontations in the home.

 

I serve her, so if I'm not to do that, then I'm open to ideas as to what will I do?

[Shiver]

12 hours ago, MadameM said:

Lovely Sunday morning here in California -- no yellow sky filled with smog from 17 wildfires!

Enjoy reading your story... so much that... a Thai wife in California wants to jump in ?

As they said Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus, usually wives have been thinking about something for several long days and nights before they start acting up physically. I have been there and done that with no or little result. Hubby won't get it! You cry your eyes out; you scream your head off -- he won't get it. We have different mindsets chemically or something. So, now and after 25 years, if I want to give him a piece of my mind, I just take away his TV remote control -- to get his attention, and say it! He may be upset; I may be more agitated. Then he yells -- most of the time I yell first. Get up, walk away, bang the door... Six hours later, I come toward him and apologize for my bad temper and harsh words; he takes turn apologize for his ignorance. And, there we go again -- the same old boring soap opera! on a strong, human-relationship foundation. Love is still there, but there're something else that keep two different people together.

 

This line has nothing to do with the topic, but I saw you mention about oat rolls, so my question is where can we find the old-style oat rolls, steel cut oat and oat bran in Thailand or Chiang Rai (I'll be in Chiang Rai in 2 weeks - exciting!). I ate oat-rolls + steel cut oat + oat bran and cook them together patiently. Then have my oat meal with milk and fresh fruits. It reduces my cholesterol down from 294 to 227 in 6 months. I took this recipe out of the checking line in a store when I saw an old, white male with three kinds of oat. I was curious and we started talking. Soon later I try the recipe myself and love my oatmeal for the result and the taste.  O.K. is there any place in the Kingdom that I can buy these three kinds of oat. I am thinking of bringing them with me to Thailand. 

One of the many things I love about my wife is she's not a "plate smasher".  She has never ever shouted at me, nor I her.  That would be an end game to me and I'd show her the door, make sure she had enough resources to kick start her life again and close the door behind her.  She'd cry maybe 2 teardrops then move on.  She's stubborn like that and would go and take care of rubber trees with her brother or something.  I'd be 2 years or more before I was ready to trust anyone again.  I've also learned that once she's made her mind up then that never gets re-evaluated.  I've tried to encourage her to re-think things, and once she did just to humour me, but she snapped back to her original opinion and dug in, so I don't try at all now.  That gets complicated when 'A' likes B, B likes C, D likes A and B but not C   etc.  I try to juggle times and places to meet people and coordinate where and who might be doing whatever, and it takes the fun out of it. I burn myself out and my girl thinks I'm wasting her resources on others.  I'm not.  I'm slaughtering my own resources (health and mind) to accommodate others to the point of damaging myself, and eventually I take a Vitamin Leo (or 3) and then I'm a bad person.  If everyone (including my wife) would carry their own bags then I wouldn't be doing that, but it's easier to lean on me on demand and I'm so soft/stupid I try to please all people.  I have several friends, but only 1 wife and she takes exception to not owning the game, when she's actually causing a lot of what she doesn't like about me.  Btw, how much does internet write to yourself therapy cost? ? 

In the current scenario she will eventually say what's on her mind (or tell a friends wife so it can be conveyed back to me which, strangely to me seems to be a common trait here).  If it's about something in my behaviour that she doesn't like, I will counter, give examples and learn together what/when/why/how.  That's fine.

The issue she has now (I think....) is she thinks because I'm with friends who are currently in town, drinking in places that have 'rent able' women, that I must be doing that.  I do *not* do that, never have done her wrong or given reason for her to lose face.  At all.  If I were single then I'd maybe sometimes entertain the idea, in which case I would be a single guy just being about town and still honest, but make it clear that it's nothing more than a short business deal...again Lol.  I chose my girl because I saw something special in her, amplified by her being Unobtanium, and for some reason she accepted, many years ago.  I didn't *need* anyone, I had learned to procure what I needed without anyone else's help.  I'm a lucky man and I know that, but sometimes I think she forgets that she's lucky too, and I feel bad that sometimes I have to install some manners and everything is good for a while.  This is one of those.

Btw, the previous banter about oats.  She made them this morning.  I didn't ask what happened to yesterdays breakfast as I didn't want her to think to much about 'stupt farang, mai tong kit maak'.  Which in Thai probably means "my hovercraft is full of eels" or something.

I must apologise to OP as this is a branch off a branch away from the tree trunk of the original post.

[NonthaburiBear]

14 minutes ago, Shiver said:

  She's stubborn like that and would go and take care of rubber trees with her brother or something. 

How many Thai woman did you know ? all Thai woman are mostly stubborn and submissiveto their partner whichh lead to domination.?  just be wary if she's leave you

[james1995]

You're not going to get any lady with no money.  I don't see any homeless guys with girlfriends in their arms anywhere.

[Golden Triangle]

On 8/11/2018 at 5:48 AM, BritManToo said:

But at least I'm not a racist and know more than one Thai word.

Unfortunately, when you are one of the most exceptional in the world, you have to lower your standards for friends and partners or remain alone. I did once date a woman who was my equal, the sex was good but we constantly fought for supremacy.

 

You have a serious attitude problem, mainly directed at women but I suspect that not many people come up to your high standards, shame really, you could have such a nice life.

[bwpage3]

On 8/12/2018 at 2:59 AM, spidermike007 said:

In the west, your wife would not ask to get an allowance every month. She would be a joint signatory on the account, and take whatever she wanted. I know guys in the US who do not carry cash, because their wives do not want them to. That is the extent of the control they exert. They cannot buy a cup of coffee, without their woman knowing about it. Talk about emasculation to the extreme? What kind of man does not like to carry around some cash?

 

Here, it is sometimes far easier to just give a woman a monthly allowance, especially if she is not working. I do not want my woman to work. I do not want her to be subject to the whims of an idiot boss, and have to work stupid hours, and therefore rarely be at home. And for what? $500 a month, at most? Fortunately that amount of money would not make a big difference for us, and I love the idea of my wife having the freedom to do as she pleases with her time. Her allowance means I do not have to dole out money all month, so she can go out to eat or drink with her girlfriends, buy herself something, or put some gas in the car or bike. It just makes sense. 

Mike I think you are a little overboard with your first paragraph. One shoe never fits any situation and although that comment may sound like someone who was previously burnt in a relationship, it is not always as the case, as nothing is every always the case.

 

I rarely have 20 bucks cash in my pocket. Why? Because in the USA if you have good credit, you will have credit cards that pay points, travel points, cash bonus, Jesus almost anything. At the end of the month I always pay off all my expenditures so no interest is charged. Then I get to see a return (example American Express Blue had 6% cash back for groceries) from all the cards at the end of the month.

 

Even McDonald's is taking credit cards or electronic Apple, Samsung or Google pay.

 

So there is really no need to carry cash.

 

I am not sure the last time I have been in a bank but at least over 1 year. Maybe hit a once in a while ATM but never a need to go in a bank. All daily accounts these days are all payable paperless online. Set them up and off you go.

 

Now I posted earlier on this post, I set my wife up with an American Express Platinum, Citibank Diamond and a host of other cards that she can use whenever she wants to buy herself things, take her friends out to eat or whatever. She has her own car, can fill it up with gas herself and do things like any other normal American woman can do.

 

She has 100% access to the bank and can send her father money or do what ever she needs to do.

 

A lot of posters will go on the war path, "Wait till she takes off and takes everything". Well, if that ever happens you won't find me crying about it. I still have a job and can make money anytime so I could care less about something that hasn't happened the past 10 years.

 

Of course, if people don't understand 1000% the kind of woman you are marrying, I can see how people can be leary about their money around Thai women.

 

It is not say 100% of them cannot be trusted, because in the end trust has to be earned on both sides of the relationships.

 

I didn't grow up planning to marry a Thai and just because a woman is Thai, to me, means absolutely nothing. Given the chance many Thai women can make something of themselves through education and other things.

 

I sleep pretty well at night knowing is something ever happens to me, she has all the knowledge to financially keep the house going, pay the bills and take care of the kid.

 

I think many issues you read about here are because people are on a very small fixed budget and just do not have a backup plan or the amount needed to give their wives more than the 6k baht per month mentioned. Plus many never really trust their relationship 1000%?

 

 

 

 

[JLCrab]

1 hour ago, bwpage3 said:

I didn't grow up planning to marry a Thai and just because a woman is Thai, to me, means absolutely nothing. Given the chance many Thai women can make something of themselves through education and other things.

 

I sleep pretty well at night knowing is something ever happens to me, she has all the knowledge to financially keep the house going, pay the bills and take care of the kid.

 

I think many issues you read about here are because people are on a very small fixed budget and just do not have a backup plan or the amount needed to give their wives more than the 6k baht per month mentioned. Plus many never really trust their relationship 1000%?

 

[BritManToo]

1 hour ago, bwpage3 said:

I think many issues you read about here are because people are on a very small fixed budget and just do not have a backup plan or the amount needed to give their wives more than the 6k baht per month mentioned. Plus many never really trust their relationship 1000%?

 

Or maybe some people learned from previous mistakes with wives while others have learned nothing and are doomed to repeat.

Edited August 13, 2018 by BritManToo

[MadameM]

23 hours ago, BritManToo said:

Makro, YoK and Rimping in Chiang Mai all sell them, American and Thai brands, not expensive either, from around 50bht/Kg and up.

(I already posted this once, not sure about Oat Bran, but two out of three ain't bad))

Can't be happy enough. Thanks a lot ka.

Good excuse to drive to Chiang Mai once in a while!

[MadameM]

19 hours ago, Shiver said:

  Btw, how much does internet write to yourself therapy cost? ? 

 

The Internet write can't heal my pain, if any ? Being just retired for the past two months excites me to continue practice writing in English that I've spent 12 years to master it -- as a second-language learner level. I found posts in ThaiVisa are resourceful, interesting, and fun. I burst out laughing many times reading you, gentlemen, snapping on each other, and that gets my hubby's attention many times.

Talking about therapy, therapist, psychiatrist and all, I've been through all of those. It's so common and fashion-liked in the US with no absolute result costing you a fortune!  I eventually found that the foundation I was bringing up to as a good Buddhist is my strong hold for most of my emotional problems. I just let go, skip reading things that upset me, never watch Fox News, and refuse the existence of self. At 61, I'm contented. 

In term of the contexts are going out of the topic, I am thinking about a healthy tree -- keep on growing up (so many pages) with all kinds of branches, leaves, flowers, and fruits. The weak tree will die short, skinny, and fruitless.

[NonthaburiBear]

4 minutes ago, MadameM said:

The Internet write can't heal my pain, if any ? Being just retired for the past two months excites me to continue practice writing in English that I've spent 12 years to master it -- as a second-language learner level.

 

koy koy rean roo na krup..

are you Thai ?  .

[MadameM]

1 minute ago, NonthaburiBear said:

koy koy rean roo na krup..

are you Thai ?  .

คนไทย ร้อยเปอร์เซ็นต์ค่ะ

[bwpage3]

22 hours ago, BritManToo said:

Or maybe some people learned from previous mistakes with wives while others have learned nothing and are doomed to repeat.

Interesting comment however, the male was the one that chose the wife in the first place?

 

May not be so much about sharing money as it is picking the right woman.

 

Some men are just habitually doomed to pick the wrong ones over and over.

[JLCrab]

And some men even though they 1000% trust and pick the right woman/wife are just habitually doomed to the need to tell everyone about it over & over.

[Spidey]

Just now, JLCrab said:

And some men even though they 1000% trust and pick the right woman/wife are just habitually doomed to the need to tell everyone about it over & over.

Yes, I can see how that would stick in the craw of someone who had habitually failed to pick the right woman.

 

Sorry, I won't mention it again.

[JLCrab]

1 minute ago, Spidey said:

Yes, I can see how that would stick in the craw of someone who had habitually failed to pick the right woman.

 

Sorry, I won't mention it again.

I don't pick Thai women -- they pick me.

[Spidey]

Just now, JLCrab said:

I don't pick Thai women -- they pick me.

Well there you go, that's your mistake! Thai women are notoriously bad at picking men. Better to choose for them. My wife isn't good at picking shoes, I pick them for her.

[JLCrab]

That's OK -- if I wasn't bad, they wouldn't have picked me.

[BritManToo]

1 hour ago, bwpage3 said:

May not be so much about sharing money as it is picking the right woman.

Some men are just habitually doomed to pick the wrong ones over and over.

 

I'm not sure that any woman is 'the right woman'.

But I only ever picked from the ones with nice tits.

 

Maybe you're right and women with nice tits are the wrong sort.

Edited August 14, 2018 by BritManToo

[Kadilo]

3 hours ago, JLCrab said:

And some men even though they 1000% trust and pick the right woman/wife are just habitually doomed to the need to tell everyone about it over & over.

.....until she becomes a wrongun the strangely you never hear about them or their portfolio again. 

Edited August 14, 2018 by Kadilo

[Shiver]

On 8/13/2018 at 3:05 PM, NonthaburiBear said:

How many Thai woman did you know ? all Thai woman are mostly stubborn and submissiveto their partner whichh lead to domination.?  just be wary if she's leave you

Not sure I follow.  I mean she's stubborn in sticking to what she believes (however right or wrong - and I being farang she assumes I know nothing of course, except to be the cleaner upper of all the f'ups she and others make).

 

I don't care to mention in public how many women I knew.  I've had just two Thai gf's, the latter being my now wife.  I don't try to control, I only suggest.  I've tried to make her leave for a month one time when she got too comfortable that there was everything on a plate.   She instantly cr'pped herself because she knows that although I'm gentle and kind, I don't pull punches.  Harmony was quickly restored.

[Shiver]

On 8/14/2018 at 10:28 AM, MadameM said:

The Internet write can't heal my pain, if any ? Being just retired for the past two months excites me to continue practice writing in English that I've spent 12 years to master it -- as a second-language learner level. I found posts in ThaiVisa are resourceful, interesting, and fun. I burst out laughing many times reading you, gentlemen, snapping on each other, and that gets my hubby's attention many times.

Talking about therapy, therapist, psychiatrist and all, I've been through all of those. It's so common and fashion-liked in the US with no absolute result costing you a fortune!  I eventually found that the foundation I was bringing up to as a good Buddhist is my strong hold for most of my emotional problems. I just let go, skip reading things that upset me, never watch Fox News, and refuse the existence of self. At 61, I'm contented. 

In term of the contexts are going out of the topic, I am thinking about a healthy tree -- keep on growing up (so many pages) with all kinds of branches, leaves, flowers, and fruits. The weak tree will die short, skinny, and fruitless.

 

Good to hear about the avoidance of Fox News.  You truly are naturalised.  Does the same apply to avoiding Thai soaps though? ???

 

 

 

Edited August 15, 2018 by Shiver

[NonthaburiBear]

19 hours ago, sand th said:

2018 and this shit still around geeez

those kind of "ive been living in thailnd for 5 days" and acting like " i know everything im smart i must judging ppls in this poor country the way i like"

 

how about go back live in your sh**** country and stop acting like an idiot

everyone come to thailand because of sh** country ,until they realize rotten apples are evrywhere, not particullary in Thailand. Most of Thai love where i live and grow up in Bali..which turned out boring for me ..

[I am More Thai Than You]

23 hours ago, sand th said:

2018 and this shit still around geeez

those kind of "ive been living in thailnd for 5 days" and acting like " i know everything im smart i must judging ppls in this poor country the way i like"

 

how about go back live in your sh**** country and stop acting like an idiot

Oh dear. Another one of those who feels the need to express his Thai-ness.?

Edited August 15, 2018 by I am More Thai Than You

[MadameM]

11 hours ago, Shiver said:

 

Good to hear about the avoidance of Fox News.  You truly are naturalised.  Does the same apply to avoiding Thai soaps though? ???

 

 

 

Huh! What do you mean by avoiding Thai soaps? 

[JLCrab]

On 8/14/2018 at 7:15 PM, BritManToo said:

I'm not sure that any woman is 'the right woman'.

But I only ever picked from the ones with nice tits.

 

Maybe you're right and women with nice tits are the wrong sort.

I sure hope so.

[NonthaburiBear]

18 minutes ago, MadameM said:

Huh! What do you mean by avoiding Thai soaps? 

kao jai mai ? 55555

[MadameM]

1 minute ago, NonthaburiBear said:

kao jai mai ? 55555

Beat me!