Are Thai Ladies Justified In Being Paid Every Month By Their Boyfriend/Husband, Or Does It Create The Perception Of Long Term Prostitution?

[starky]

On 8/8/2018 at 2:14 PM, Bill Miller said:

About what I was going to say.
As I often tell my faen it is "our" money.
I do not have a set schedule or monthly amount, but I did promise to "help out", and manage to get about the equivalent of her monthly wage (32,000 baht) to her one way or another. "Yes, darling, I would love to go visit your dad". I really do like the old gent, and do not mind paying for the airfare, etc.
She (almost) never asks for money. Sometimes she mentions e.g., "Oh, I sent xxx amount to my p'sao". Older sis  is in poor health and unable to really work the farm anymore. XXX amount x2 or 3 will mysteriously show up in waan jai's bank account.
No sick buffaloes, etc. I know the whole family. Once a couple of years ago a big storm damaged the roof.  I have photos, and was happy to contribute towards the cost of materials. In their community no labor cost as such, because the neighbors come together to help each other. A few bucks extra for food and drink and all are happy.
The Thailand I came to discover is there, negative opinions expressed on TV  not withstanding.
I will happily agree that the immigration situation, OTOH....?

No no no it's not true aren't you aware the all Thai women are evil harridans either waiting for their partners to die or secretly stealing money on the sly whilst hooking up with their "brother" and spending the rest on drugs, alcohol and hi lo.

[AdamTheFarang]

8 minutes ago, starky said:

No no no it's not true aren't you aware the all Thai women are evil harridans either waiting for their partners to die or secretly stealing money on the sly whilst hooking up with their "brother" and spending the rest on drugs, alcohol and hi lo.

Starky have you had many bad experiences?

[starky]

Just now, AdamTheFarang said:

Starky have you had many bad experiences?

Sarcasm not your forte? Lol

[The Deerhunter]

On 8/9/2018 at 8:54 AM, smotherb said:

Small, compared to western women

OK if you like that sort of thing.  555!!!

[The Deerhunter]

On 8/9/2018 at 12:47 PM, NonthaburiBear said:

got the picture..both ?

Together?  555

[AdamTheFarang]

14 minutes ago, starky said:

Sarcasm not your forte? Lol

No a genuine question answer it!

[starky]

2 minutes ago, AdamTheFarang said:

No a genuine question answer it!

Ok! No!! zero bad experiences in Thailand or with girls in general!!! How's that!! Should I use more punctuation to make my point more succinctly???? But then again I walk in to most relationships with both eyes open and leave upstairs for thinking and downstairs for dancing. How about you?

[The Deerhunter]

41 minutes ago, starky said:

No no no it's not true aren't you aware the all Thai women are evil harridans either waiting for their partners to die or secretly stealing money on the sly whilst hooking up with their "brother" and spending the rest on drugs, alcohol and hi lo.

I still cant get over the fact that many guys who complain about "bad greedy Thai women" met their lady in a bar as a hooker and then complain that she is greedy for money or unfaithful etc etc..  This is not to say that there are no trustworthy ladies "working in the entertainment industry."  I have met a number here and overseas and have friends still happily married 10 and 15 years later.  But I think if you meet a girl in such circumstances you have to look a bit harder.  Would they take a girl who has been working a brothel or parlour back home for 3 to 10 years, marry her and expect everything to be roses?  They have been routinely exposed to a lot of unpleasant things in that life.  Start with a probably a poor family role model backgound, poor education and add gambling, drugs, violence, alcohol, crime, police corruption and lying for a living.  It is not easy to shrug off.  Some can.  Many can't.

Edited August 11, 2018 by The Deerhunter

[NonthaburiBear]

11 minutes ago, The Deerhunter said:

Together?  555

I was joking, as i never much care how tall my ex or my GF is ... as long as she doesnt have a balls, so its  mai pen rai.

[starky]

3 minutes ago, The Deerhunter said:

I still cant get over the fact that many guys who complain about "bad greedy Thai women" met their lady in a bar as a hooker and then complain that she is greedy for money or unfaithful etc etc..  This is not to say that there are no trustworthy ladies "working in the entertainment industry."  I have met a number here and overseas and have friends still happily married 10 and 15 years later.  But I think if you meet a girl in such circumstances you have to look a bit harder.  Would they take a girl out of a brothel or parlour back home and marry her and expect everything to be roses.  Gambling, drugs, alcohol, crime and lying for a living is not easy to shrug off.

Exactly! And if you come here and grab a hooker, I agree with you they are plenty of good ones floating around, or were, and get <deleted> over by a girl who has zero advantage in wisdom, knowledge, experience or education then more fool you ya silly old <deleted>.

[The Deerhunter]

Just now, NonthaburiBear said:

I was joking, as i never much care how tall my ex or my GF is ... as long as she doesnt have a balls, so its  mai pen rai.

My "home ex" and my current Thai wife get along well.  Have friends the same.

[NonthaburiBear]

13 minutes ago, The Deerhunter said:

My "home ex" and my current Thai wife get along well.  Have friends the same.

That's good...i wonder how its gonna be when you have both Thai Ex and current wife, as Thai woman are very jealous and unstable emotional behaviour. my GF always checkin me evrytime "tam arai ror ka "  or  tam ngan nueay mai ka ?... which lead try to check whether i work or having an affair with another girls..especially Thai woman. but back to OP topics, shes never ask me anything and never want to recieve anything from me except some small portion of share payment when we go on a date ( she's Isaan girl)  ,but i know i have to be ready when she say "time to get a new farungs" .. ?

[swissie]

9 hours ago, BritManToo said:

I've always equated 'papa' with 'someone I wouldn't have sex with'

Whereas 'daddy' is entirely different if a bit pervy.

I insist that they call me ATM. As soon as they start to call me Papa, Daddy, Teerak etc, I run for the hills.
Cheers.

[AdamTheFarang]

2 minutes ago, swissie said:

I insist that they call me ATM. As soon as they start to call me Papa, Daddy, Teerak etc, I run for the hills.
Cheers.

Wow so deep.

[BritManToo]

10 hours ago, The Deerhunter said:

Would they take a girl who has been working a brothel or parlour back home for 3 to 10 years, marry her and expect everything to be roses? 

Why not?

I find women to be almost completely interchangeable, choose a shape and size you like and any lady fitting that description will do.

They way they behave is more to do with you, than with them.

[NonthaburiBear]

24 minutes ago, BritManToo said:

Why not?

I find women to be almost completely interchangeable, choose a shape and size you like and any lady fitting that description will do.

They way they behave is more to do with you, than with them.

yes but the percentage are small.Some man thinks they can change their GF from their past and end up mostly in dissapointment.  One thing that you can change is to change yourself, WTH you want to be with a nice decent woman and find it in a bar or Prostitution. I'm not saying theyre  utterly bad people, i make friends out of them..for the sake of positive way only.

just my 2 cents na krup

Edited August 12, 2018 by NonthaburiBear

[MadameM]

21 hours ago, Spidey said:

Absolutely true. I have always considered women to be my equals. With my UK wife we shared all the household tasks, apart from, I refused to do the ironing and she refused to do the gardening. Once I'd retired (she hadn't), most of the household tasks fell to me, particularly the cooking which had always been a hobby and I enjoyed the task.

 

When I got together with my Thai wife, it was by far the hardest thing to adjust to. I am not allowed to set foot in the garden, even to do the donkey work. I had been looking forward to cultivating a garden in the tropics. I'm not even allowed to water my beloved orchids.

 

I recently had a top of the range, European style kitchen installed (albeit my wife had the worktops fitted uncomfortably low for me) with the hope of rekindling my love for cooking. I still haven't been allowed to make as much as breakfast in there.

 

I have lost count of the number of years it is since I cut my own nails. Something my farang wife would bluntly refuse to do.

 

When I moved to Thailand I was the ideal weight for my height. Now I'm several kilos overweight. My wife prefers me this way as it sends the message to her friends and family that she's "taking good care" of her husband. Man bring home bacon, wife cook it.

 

As for sex, her wish is my command - I'll say no more than that, but it's brilliant!

 

It's a Thai woman's role in life to take good care of her man, it's ingrained in them, you'll never change it.

 

Rather than beat your self up for your chauvinistic behaviour, just lie back and enjoy it - it's your duty!

 

A Thai wife here would say, "... all come out of L O V E! dear." 

Edited August 12, 2018 by MadameM
typo!

[Spidey]

Just now, MadameM said:

A Thai wife here would says, "... all come out of L O V E! dear." 

Exactly.

[MadameM]

Just now, Spidey said:

Exactly.

Apologize for typo. Such a bad grammar  -- would say, in fact ?

[JLCrab]

30 minutes ago, NonthaburiBear said:

you want to be with a nice decent woman

Does that presume one is a nice decent man?

[NonthaburiBear]

30 minutes ago, JLCrab said:

Does that presume one is a nice decent man?

i wont answer that question?

[theguyfromanotherforum]

20 hours ago, Spidey said:

As I've said, in a previous post, my wife was a chef in a restaurant before I moved here. Earned 12k baht/month, 12hours per day six days per week. As I hardly ever saw her, it was my idea that she gave up work.

 

Clearly you didn't read or, more likely understand my post, it's the Thai way not just the Thai/ferang way.

 

I give my Thai wife a small allowance (6k) 1 k she sends to her 2 teenage children who live with their father, 1k she puts in a savings account and the rest she spends on personal items, trips to the salon, gifts for me etc.

 

Yes, I have lifted her out of poverty, is that a bad thing? It's something that I'm proud of, something good that I've done with my life and have been amply rewarded for it. She's worked hard all her life, was thrown out of the house with just the clothes on her back when her Thai husband moved his mia noi in. She's a fantastic person and if I can give her a happier life, she thoroughly deserves it.

 

When my farang wife gave up work to look after our 2 small children, I gave her an allowance (much greater than 6k baht!).

 

You need a trip to reality, it's not Thai women that are cynical and mercenary, it's the bitter and twisted farangs who need to get over themselves.

 

It's not Thai way....it's poverty way.

 

Ask any educated Thai woman earning good income if she would stoop so low.

20 hours ago, Spidey said:

As I've said, in a previous post, my wife was a chef in a restaurant before I moved here. Earned 12k baht/month, 12hours per day six days per week. As I hardly ever saw her, it was my idea that she gave up work.

 

Clearly you didn't read or, more likely understand my post, it's the Thai way not just the Thai/ferang way.

 

I give my Thai wife a small allowance (6k) 1 k she sends to her 2 teenage children who live with their father, 1k she puts in a savings account and the rest she spends on personal items, trips to the salon, gifts for me etc.

 

Yes, I have lifted her out of poverty, is that a bad thing? It's something that I'm proud of, something good that I've done with my life and have been amply rewarded for it. She's worked hard all her life, was thrown out of the house with just the clothes on her back when her Thai husband moved his mia noi in. She's a fantastic person and if I can give her a happier life, she thoroughly deserves it.

 

When my farang wife gave up work to look after our 2 small children, I gave her an allowance (much greater than 6k baht!).

 

You need a trip to reality, it's not Thai women that are cynical and mercenary, it's the bitter and twisted farangs who need to get over themselves.

 

She have up her 12k a month job to get 6k a month allowance?

 

Obviously you are not telling a full story.

 

 

[BritManToo]

3 hours ago, theguyfromanotherforum said:

She have up her 12k a month job to get 6k a month allowance?

1

I think he forgot + all expenses, the 6k would just be 'pocket money'.

Add the house, car, motorbike, school and uni fees for all her kids, latest iPhone, money for her parents and it's probably more like 30-40k/month.

[baansgr]

Maybe thats why Im a singlr Father

[Shiver]

On 8/11/2018 at 11:48 AM, BritManToo said:

But at least I'm not a racist and know more than one Thai word.

Unfortunately, when you are one of the most exceptional in the world, you have to lower your standards for friends and partners or remain alone. I did once date a woman who was my equal, the sex was good but we constantly fought for supremacy.

 

Spidey, (...and this is not aimed at Britman quote btw - just a point where I jumped into the thread and nothing more or less), but I think some are being overly harsh to you.  To me it sounds like you've worked out a position you enjoy that works for you that you might suggest is maybe not 100%, but right up there in the high percentiles of success by *your own* standards (they're the ones that count) that works for you.

 

Of all of us on TV, it seems some people only know how to drag people down.  Putting online behaviour aside for a moment, I see this a lot more in everyday life than I'd hope for, and it's as if people who cannot pull themselves up, they want to pull others down.  One phrase I remember from many years ago was "There are two ways of making a mark in life.  1. You get to have a Rolls Royce. 2.  You can scratch someone elses Rolls Royce".  A bit over simplistic of course, but you get the general drift.

I don't talk about anything here that is about what I *really* think feel or do.  It's sanitised, photoshopped, cropped with just enough left in there for people to have a believable CGI Hollywood story.  There are no lies and I'm not misleading, but just trying to keep it to a couple of paragraphs rather than a workshop manual in progress.

If you'd have asked me at 10pm last night what I think of my wife I would paint glowing images.  An hour later close to polar opposite.  Does it matter to TV? No, not a jot.

Here's a fairly typical scenario that I think many will be able to paint their own version in the same framework:

I wake up, and I'm coming out of a dream where there is a bowl of Quaker rolled oats.  I open my eyes and wifey is making her 'slimming' coffee.  I say "if I look online for an image of a cereal can you see if they sell it in Tops/Villa or somewhere?". "Jok finished late already", "yeah that's fine, but I'd like some rolled oats, I don't know how to say in Thai, so if I show you an image would you look next time you're shopping?", "Urg".  "What did I just ask for, were you listening?" "Urg", (louder) "what question did I just ask you?" "no have Jok, 11 oclock *already*!", "yes I know, but I'm not asking about Jok, I'm asking about something else, do you remember?".  I take a deep breath, open my eyes, and she's not even there.

10 mins later she comes back in the house (after taking the dog out for morning 'duties'). "We have an issue that can make this +100 or -100, and it's all about a couple of very small things, will you listen to me". (frustratedly) "What do you want?", "well I was talking about breakfast but forget about that for now I'll find something myself, but I'm now talking about relationships and how to keep it simple in a way that we can both understand each other.  I thought about this and I know you think I think too much, but I'm okay with thinking a lot, as that is what I do to make money, protect what we have and to take care of us and I don't make that you're problem, it just happens without you having to think, but (pauses).... can you listen just for a few seconds please?". "What?", "If I say something and I ask you what the question is, and you don't know, then you're disrespecting me putting the dog ahead of me and so far as I know the dog doesn't pay the rent". "Here!" (slams down a tin of Quaker rolled oats".  I get up and check and yes it's 'yer actual'. "Yes, that's exactly what I was asking for 25 minutes ago, what do you do with them?"

 

....it went on but no resolution, no breakfast, no communication, none of the other kind of 'oats' either.  She's punishing me with her thoughtlessness and she's not happy feeling this way.  I can firewall this and feel nothing.  I've had to become good at that, because I know there's something she's not telling me about that is bothering her and I think I know what it is, and I'm waiting for her to communicate it with me (she doesn't have to worry about it if I'm right, and all could be golden in 1 minute flat), but Thai-Farang, Thinking-communication. Well....

That's why I don't rant about the truth of things too much on here.  The above is an example of why.  It'll just bore everyone.  Better to go on FaceBook and say:
"Hi, how are you?"
"Hi, everything's perfect, here are the best pictures we chose from our last holiday to show everyone how happy and successful we are" (while they cry themselves to sleep).

TL;DR:  Spidey, you know what you like, you lead your life, better to not defend yourself, not complain, not explain, just do what makes you and yours happy.  It isn't perfect but it's better than fighting moquitos with a spanner.

Have a nice Sunday. I'm off to shower, open my eyes proper, see if wifey wants to crack about what is bothering her, and if not I'm going to hang out at a farang friends place with other farangs by the pool and drink some afternoon beers, and I'll no longer be thinking about what 'she' feels.  Monday maybe there'll be toothpaste on the toothbrush again, which is a silent signal of everything okay (or that my breath stinks because I drank beer - the two are not entirely unrelated and I know that, but I'm waiting will a million litres of spare air supply until she has to spit it out of her mind).  Btw, anyone know how to write in Thai "Don't bring a gun to a Drone fight"?

 

Edited August 12, 2018 by Shiver

[NonthaburiBear]

1 hour ago, baansgr said:

Maybe thats why Im a singlr Father

...but have giks?

[spidermike007]

In the west, your wife would not ask to get an allowance every month. She would be a joint signatory on the account, and take whatever she wanted. I know guys in the US who do not carry cash, because their wives do not want them to. That is the extent of the control they exert. They cannot buy a cup of coffee, without their woman knowing about it. Talk about emasculation to the extreme? What kind of man does not like to carry around some cash?

 

Here, it is sometimes far easier to just give a woman a monthly allowance, especially if she is not working. I do not want my woman to work. I do not want her to be subject to the whims of an idiot boss, and have to work stupid hours, and therefore rarely be at home. And for what? $500 a month, at most? Fortunately that amount of money would not make a big difference for us, and I love the idea of my wife having the freedom to do as she pleases with her time. Her allowance means I do not have to dole out money all month, so she can go out to eat or drink with her girlfriends, buy herself something, or put some gas in the car or bike. It just makes sense. 

[BritManToo]

1 hour ago, Shiver said:

I'd like some rolled oats, I don't know how to say in Thai, so if I show you an image would you look next time you're shopping?"

Makro sells their own brand 'rolled oats', in the same aisle as cornflakes, usually just to the right.

About 50bht/Kg.

 

PS, don't treat your wife as your servant, and you'll have fewer confrontations in the home.

 

Edited August 12, 2018 by BritManToo

[The Deerhunter]

19 hours ago, NonthaburiBear said:

That's good...i wonder how its gonna be when you have both Thai Ex and current wife, as Thai woman are very jealous and unstable emotional behaviour. my GF always checkin me evrytime "tam arai ror ka "  or  tam ngan nueay mai ka ?... which lead try to check whether i work or having an affair with another girls..especially Thai woman. but back to OP topics, shes never ask me anything and never want to recieve anything from me except some small portion of share payment when we go on a date ( she's Isaan girl)  ,but i know i have to be ready when she say "time to get a new farungs" .. ?

At my age I dont want to buy another one.  If this one wears out, I will just rent from now on.  Oh, we are not talking about motor bikes???  Might pop over to that thread about how to ask a Thai girl out.  Maybe get some pointers in case i need them.    555

Edited August 12, 2018 by The Deerhunter

[The Deerhunter]

10 hours ago, BritManToo said:

Why not?

I find women to be almost completely interchangeable, choose a shape and size you like and any lady fitting that description will do.

They way they behave is more to do with you, than with them.

I bow to your experience if it disagrees with all my experiences.