benalibina Posted September 25, 2018 Author Share Posted September 25, 2018 5 hours ago, sanemax said: I do agree that its better for the kids to have two Parents and that no decent Parent wants any harm to come to their kids. If the mother thinks differently , then theres not much that you can do about it . If you were to get full custody in Courts then...................the kids would still have one Parent . The only solution is to get on friendly terms with the mother and family Again....i personally do not accept that...evil thrives when good men do nothing. My aim is never to get the mother out of my children's lives. I am not like them/her. If i was then i would make better use of my time and ample money. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
benalibina Posted September 25, 2018 Author Share Posted September 25, 2018 5 hours ago, BritManToo said: Agreed, No point in two parents fighting over the kids like two dogs over a bone. Best for them to have one parent, and no contact with the other. Which is clearly the only outcome possible in this situation. Best for them is to grow up living free, without fear and being loved by both parents who do all together to provide the best future possible for each of the children. All within ones limitations ofcourse. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scorecard Posted September 25, 2018 Share Posted September 25, 2018 2 hours ago, benalibina said: Does anyone know about organisations or people who are knowledgeable about the dynamics of ALL types of abuse ? Thanks. I suggest you quickly contact the Pavena foundation. It;s operated by a Thai lady Khun Pavena who has a pretty good reputation in regard to helping with situations involving women and children. A google search will easily find Khun Pena / the pavena foundation. She seems to act quickly, the fact that a foreigner is involved would not deter her from getting involved, she is respected / works with various organizations including gov't. agencies, the police etc. In fact the police seem to be a little frightened of her. Good luck. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jak2002003 Posted September 25, 2018 Share Posted September 25, 2018 From reading you posts I am a bit unsure of a few things. 1. You don't provide any financial support for you children. 2. You won't go to court to sort out legal custardy. 3. You attempted to take you children from their school in a taxi, without informing their mother, guardians or teachers your intentions, or tell anyone where you are taking them. 4. You won't get a divorce. 5. You are saying the children are abused, but there is no evidence of physical abuse and don't say what they are doing to mentally abuse the children, apart from that the children don't want to always tell you things. 6. You say the mother, aunt, and daughter are all evil. I am not even clear what you want to happen in the end. Are you saying you want the children taken away from their family and put in a children's home, or are you wanting to take them back to live with you only? Quote 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
benalibina Posted September 25, 2018 Author Share Posted September 25, 2018 5 hours ago, scorecard said: I suggest you quickly contact the Pavena foundation. It;s operated by a Thai lady Khun Pavena who has a pretty good reputation in regard to helping with situations involving women and children. A google search will easily find Khun Pena / the pavena foundation. She seems to act quickly, the fact that a foreigner is involved would not deter her from getting involved, she is respected / works with various organizations including gov't. agencies, the police etc. In fact the police seem to be a little frightened of her. Good luck. Thanks i just called and sent email to them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
benalibina Posted September 25, 2018 Author Share Posted September 25, 2018 5 hours ago, jak2002003 said: From reading you posts I am a bit unsure of a few things. 1. You don't provide any financial support for you children. 2. You won't go to court to sort out legal custardy. 3. You attempted to take you children from their school in a taxi, without informing their mother, guardians or teachers your intentions, or tell anyone where you are taking them. 4. You won't get a divorce. 5. You are saying the children are abused, but there is no evidence of physical abuse and don't say what they are doing to mentally abuse the children, apart from that the children don't want to always tell you things. 6. You say the mother, aunt, and daughter are all evil. I am not even clear what you want to happen in the end. Are you saying you want the children taken away from their family and put in a children's home, or are you wanting to take them back to live with you only? Some comments never seem to amaze me. I am the father of 3 kids and just make this all up to pass time ? Throwing around false accusations, writing down lies etc etc...all this because my kids have knowingly such a wonderful life without any of their parents. Jeezz mate. I suggest you read some of my comments and the OP again and sort out your own moral fibre. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sanemax Posted September 25, 2018 Share Posted September 25, 2018 58 minutes ago, benalibina said: Again....i personally do not accept that...evil thrives when good men do nothing. My aim is never to get the mother out of my children's lives. I am not like them/her. If i was then i would make better use of my time and ample money. So, what do you intend to do ? 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
benalibina Posted September 25, 2018 Author Share Posted September 25, 2018 4 hours ago, sanemax said: So, what do you intend to do ? See my OP. I search for any person or organisation who understands about the dynamics of abuse. If i cannot find it then.....its all up to me. It is really sad all but i have always acted based on my own accord and limitations. They treat me like s..t, they treat the children then similar. Do never want to hear later in their lives......why did you not... did you not love and care about us enough.. Etc etc.. Its all a catch 22....nothing will be perfect. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post sanemax Posted September 25, 2018 Popular Post Share Posted September 25, 2018 17 minutes ago, benalibina said: Some comments never seem to amaze me. I am the father of 3 kids and just make this all up to pass time ? Throwing around false accusations, writing down lies etc etc...all this because my kids have knowingly such a wonderful life without any of their parents. Jeezz mate. I suggest you read some of my comments and the OP again and sort out your own moral fibre. I cannot understand why you replied like that . Jak just asked you six questions for clarification . He didnt suggest that were making it all up and he didnt make any "false accusations" , he just asked you some questions . Questions that you failed to answer and accused him of "falsely accusing " you . Your reply doesnt fit to the post that you answered 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
benalibina Posted September 25, 2018 Author Share Posted September 25, 2018 5 hours ago, sanemax said: I cannot understand why you replied like that . Jak just asked you six questions for clarification . He didnt suggest that were making it all up and he didnt make any "false accusations" , he just asked you some questions . Questions that you failed to answer and accused him of "falsely accusing " you . Your reply doesnt fit to the post that you answered Hmmm...maybe there are too many fabricated posts on here coupled with fake people that it is difficult to distuingish real from fake and truth from fabrications. All the answers to his questions are already on here. What is what i want....i want the children away from their evil aunt and their mother to realise the harm she has caused and put a stop to it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sanemax Posted September 25, 2018 Share Posted September 25, 2018 48 minutes ago, benalibina said: Hmmm...maybe there are too many fabricated posts on here coupled with fake people that it is difficult to distuingish real from fake and truth from fabrications. All the answers to his questions are already on here. What is what i want....i want the children away from their evil aunt and their mother to realise the harm she has caused and put a stop to it. OK , you would like full custody of your children and you dont want their mother involved in their lives . Are you able to do this ? Can you provide home , feed them and devote the time to them ? You would be depriving the children of their mother and family . Whatever you think about the aunty and uncle , the children probably have affections for them and they are taking care of the children. You just have to accept the situation and not to cause any more harm . You have to do what is best for the children and not to be selfish about this . Turning up announced a school ,taking the kids away in a taxi, getting into a physical confrontation , getting the police and teachers involved is of no benefit to anyone . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
benalibina Posted September 25, 2018 Author Share Posted September 25, 2018 5 hours ago, sanemax said: OK , you would like full custody of your children and you dont want their mother involved in their lives . Are you able to do this ? Can you provide home , feed them and devote the time to them ? You would be depriving the children of their mother and family . Whatever you think about the aunty and uncle , the children probably have affections for them and they are taking care of the children. You just have to accept the situation and not to cause any more harm . You have to do what is best for the children and not to be selfish about this . Turning up announced a school ,taking the kids away in a taxi, getting into a physical confrontation , getting the police and teachers involved is of no benefit to anyone . I dont want their mother in their lives ...where did you get that from.? The children have affection....they are manipulated and scared to hurt their aunt and rest of the gang. The fact that you quit coming up for your own kids, does not mean that i need to do the same as well Your last paragraph totally dismisses the fact that i am their father and nobody else. Read....my daughters wanted to go with me....wanted. I asked them twice. Why did they want to go ? Because they did not think they only felt happy to see me. The moment the daughter showed up all changed. I am as good as powerless here because the people here do not care and they are as ignorant, and unwilling to be educated, as you seem to be regarding emotional abuse. Till now at least. Your comments now bring nothing more to the question in the topic. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sanemax Posted September 25, 2018 Share Posted September 25, 2018 1 hour ago, benalibina said: i want the children away from their evil aunt and their mother to realise the harm she has caused and put a stop to it. 7 minutes ago, benalibina said: I dont want their mother in their lives ...where did you get that from.? You should have put a comma between "evil aunt" and "Mother" to make it clear what you meant Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sanemax Posted September 25, 2018 Share Posted September 25, 2018 9 minutes ago, benalibina said: The fact that you quit coming up for your own kids, does not mean that i need to do the same as well Sometimes , you have no other choice . 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
benalibina Posted September 25, 2018 Author Share Posted September 25, 2018 5 hours ago, sanemax said: Sometimes , you have no other choice . Understand, but till now unacceptable for me regarding my kids. Its all very very sad that in 1 life given it has to come to this. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catkiwi Posted September 25, 2018 Share Posted September 25, 2018 Just now, benalibina said: Understand, but till now unacceptable for me regarding my kids. Its all very very sad that in 1 life given it has to come to this. Don't give up. Where there is a will there is a way...not sure who said that but I believe it. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
benalibina Posted September 25, 2018 Author Share Posted September 25, 2018 5 hours ago, Catkiwi said: Don't give up. Where there is a will there is a way...not sure who said that but I believe it. Thanks, my opinion too. I know i am right about this whole shambles but have become limited in my responses to do the right thing. All this hurts every day and seeing that my kids are being abused without them being aware of it is......fill in the blanks... 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scorecard Posted September 25, 2018 Share Posted September 25, 2018 17 minutes ago, benalibina said: Thanks, my opinion too. I know i am right about this whole shambles but have become limited in my responses to do the right thing. All this hurts every day and seeing that my kids are being abused without them being aware of it is......fill in the blanks... The abuse by outer family members is disturbing, and it can be in any country, we had it in our family. My Thai son divorced his first wife then remarried. The relatives of his second wife were unbelievably abusive to his young daughter (who lived with her father / my son). My son tried to push it aside until there was one very serious abusive incident, my son told his new wife to invite her family to their house. When all present he told them in no uncertain terms he would not tolerate their just awful abuse to a small child, his daughter. They laughed at him. He then told his new wife (at the same gathering) to choose between him and his daughter and to ensure the abuse stopped immediately or pack her bags and leave immediately. She answered within a couple of seconds that she would stay. Her relatives did back off, but over the years they have on several occasions asked to have a copy of my sons' will. Never happened, and his wife quickly realized that her brother and sister were crap and just looking for some nasty long-term big cash benefit. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
benalibina Posted September 25, 2018 Author Share Posted September 25, 2018 5 hours ago, scorecard said: The abuse by outer family members is disturbing, and it can be in any country, we had it in our family. My Thai son divorced his first wife then remarried. The relatives of his second wife were unbelievably abusive to his young daughter (who lived with her father / my son). My son tried to push it aside until there was one very serious abusive incident, my son told his new wife to invite her family to their house. When all present he told them in no uncertain terms he would not tolerate their just awful abuse to a small child, his daughter. They laughed at him. He then told his new wife (at the same gathering) to choose between him and his daughter and to ensure the abuse stopped immediately or pack her bags and leave immediately. She answered within a couple of seconds that she would stay. Her relatives did back off, but over the years they have on several occasions asked to have a copy of my sons' will. Never happened, and his wife quickly realized that her brother and sister were crap and just looking for some nasty long-term big cash benefit. The problem i am dealing with is a worldwide one and only slowly starts to get recognition. Anyone with a heart for children, and who deals on a day to day basis with them, would be willing to think about the dynamics of this abuse. Unfortunately the abuse against women, Metoo discussion, gets way more attention. This is how shortsighted people have become. Abuse is learned behaviour and starts at a young age. So if this is not stopped it will be passed on. Sadly enough i have seen it 1st hand. Their aunt has a 23 yr old daughter. I known her since she was 11/12 yrs old. Always liked her and we got along well from then on. However since all this started slowly she has become like her own mother. Cannot accept my daughters become like them too. Also i do not want my son, like me, to find later in life a woman like his own mother. Its my task as a father to protect my own kids from evil. Unfortunately i am the only one who sees and cared about it. ???? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
benalibina Posted September 25, 2018 Author Share Posted September 25, 2018 Oh yes....all this is possible because of all the enablers. If they would open their mouth, this could never have continued. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
baansgr Posted September 25, 2018 Share Posted September 25, 2018 20 hours ago, BestB said: Family court to have full custody of kids is your only direction Easier said than done. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BestB Posted September 25, 2018 Share Posted September 25, 2018 44 minutes ago, baansgr said: Easier said than done. You can lead a horse to waterbut you can't make him drink Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
baansgr Posted September 25, 2018 Share Posted September 25, 2018 54 minutes ago, BestB said: You can lead a horse to waterbut you can't make him drink Personal experience, I trust you have gone or are going through the process: if you have would be helpful to others if you can post your experience. Firstly a lawyer is needed, extorinate fees, so legal aid is available for us poorer souls, however its a long long long process. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BestB Posted September 25, 2018 Share Posted September 25, 2018 2 minutes ago, baansgr said: Personal experience, I trust you have gone or are going through the process: if you have would be helpful to others if you can post your experience. Firstly a lawyer is needed, extorinate fees, so legal aid is available for us poorer souls, however its a long long long process. Question was NOT what is the easiest and cheapest option, was it? 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
baansgr Posted September 25, 2018 Share Posted September 25, 2018 5 minutes ago, BestB said: Question was NOT what is the easiest and cheapest option, was it? No it wasnt but it isnt that simple Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BestB Posted September 25, 2018 Share Posted September 25, 2018 2 minutes ago, baansgr said: No it wasnt but it isnt that simple It is the ONLY option, there are NO other options. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catkiwi Posted September 25, 2018 Share Posted September 25, 2018 (edited) 6 minutes ago, BestB said: It is the ONLY option, there are NO other options. How do you know that there are no other options? it must be because....a, you are a qualified lawyer. b, you have personal experience with such matters here in Thailand. c, you don't actually know but like to post your opinion anyway. Oh and try not to hit your caps lock button so often... Edited September 25, 2018 by Catkiwi tropo Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BestB Posted September 25, 2018 Share Posted September 25, 2018 2 minutes ago, Catkiwi said: How do you know that there are no other options? it must be because....a, you are a qualified lawyer. b, you have personal experience with such matters here in Thailand. c, you don't actually know but like to post your opinion anyway. Oh and try not to hit your caps lock button so often... Oh, you know of other options, lets hear it Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
benalibina Posted September 25, 2018 Author Share Posted September 25, 2018 Again....my OP is not about divorce or custody. It is about childprotection against abuse and who can help me with finding a knowledgeable person or organisation. Kapom. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catkiwi Posted September 25, 2018 Share Posted September 25, 2018 1 minute ago, BestB said: Oh, you know of other options, lets hear it No I don't but to state, as a matter of fact, that there are no other options is fairly irresponsible, if you don't actually know, isn't it? Unless completely familiar with Thai law, which I certainly am not, we don't know what can be done to solve this poor guys predicament, do we? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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