School said I cannot bring my child home for the rest of the school year.

[Muddy Brown]

Background: The Mid Semester break has started, and I went to the school to check next semesters fees so I can pay them for the next semester next week. In the school office I said I wanted to pay for school fees for next semester, but not boarding fees. Just school fees no boarding fees as I want him to live at home next semester (reason is below).  

 

The school provides boarding facilities and I have been paying for boarding since he started in Por 1, 3-1/2 years ago. But the school says I cannot remove him from boarding mid year.

 

My understanding is that I have full authority to decide whether the boy boards or not, and if he chooses not to board any more because of bulling issues, then I have every right to bring him home to live. Or don't I? Does he really have to continue living at the school for another half a year and continue to be bullied?

 

The school is one of the better Thai, fee paying schools, and I am unaware of any legal, education department or govenment print that says once a child starts boarding, they can not be removed. So my question is: can the school bosses really say I can't take him out to live at home, especially since they have not resolved the bully issue since that was brought to their attention (several months ago).

 

Sorry but I dont want to name the school for obvious reasons.

 

 

 

 

 

[FritsSikkink]

You can let him live at home but will still need to pay the boarding fee for the second term.

[prakhonchai nick]

Read the boarding contract.  Maybe you agreed that a full years boarding fees would be paid regardless of whether he stayed or not.

 

Having said that, if the school has failed to deal with the bullying complaint, then they have most likely broken the terms of their boarding contract, no doubt which  ensured the safety and well being etc of children under their care.

 

Take him out and refuse to pay,

[Falcon]

If the school haven’t addressed the bullying issues and insist on you at least paying the boarding fees whether your child stays or not, why not think about taking him out of the school and placing him in another. Depending on where you live, there should be at least a couple of good options. I certainly wouldn’t, and don’t, accept bullying of any kind at my sons school nor would I be told what I can do and not do with my own son. I can never understand a parent putting a child in boarding school anyway, regardless of age. We had a child to watch him growing up and be there for him, not to have him shut away living in a school and only see him now and again but we’re all different I suppose.

[jesimps]

I'd say that it depends whats in the contract. However, if he's being bullied then the school isn't fulfilling their part of the deal ie providing a safe environment without intimidation. It'll involve solicitors though and you could lose. I'd find another school.

[prakhonchai nick]

12 minutes ago, jesimps said:

I'd say that it depends whats in the contract. However, if he's being bullied then the school isn't fulfilling their part of the deal ie providing a safe environment without intimidation. It'll involve solicitors though and you could lose. I'd find another school.

 

 

If the school know that they have failed to address the bullying issue satisfactorily , they are hardly likely to instigate legal proceedings for the balance of the boarding fees. That would just be bad publicity.

[prakhonchai nick]

I have just learned that a well known International school with boarding facilities (no names) have no specific length requirement for boarders. They can leave whenever they want.

[sead]

I took my bullied girl 5 years ago and changed school against her mothers and everyone will. No matter if you have to pay you just ask your kid what the kid wants and do it. Even if that means changing school  The kid needs to feel you care. Now my girl is the most happy 17 year old girl I ever met. With loads of friends etc etc

[misterphil]

I hate bullies. Teach your boy to crack the bullies in the face with a stone in a sock during the night. 

 

They'll think twice about picking on him again. 

[richard_smith237]

31 minutes ago, misterphil said:

I hate bullies. Teach your boy to crack the bullies in the face with a stone in a sock during the night. 

 

They'll think twice about picking on him again. 

 

Indeed... this will serve him well later in life as a prison survival skill... 

 

Or, instead of teach your child excessive violence there are other methods to use against those who attempt to exert their power. 

 

In the Ops shoes, I wouldn't really care what the school said. 

It would appear that have failed to provide a safe boarding environment. I'm assuming he has paid up front fee's for the boarding, at least for the remainder of the term / semester. 

 

Its his absolutely the Op's (and his Wife's) choice. I'd just ignore what the school say unless they are threatening to kick him out of the school which I very much doubt. 

[thesetat2013]

Even if you take your child out of the school.. the litigation to collect any fees they possibly could claim for another term will be lengthy and costly for the school and enforcement is almost impossible in Thailand even with a court ruling.  Then you have the safety factor which in itself is a legitimate reason to withdraw him from being boarded. 

I think the school is demanding the fees in hopes you are stupid enough to believe them and pay it again. 

No school had the right to demand what happens to your child and where he sleeps.. These are your decisions only. 

[D3030]

Why would you want him to continue to go to the same school at all, if you both get bullied?

[jossthaifarang]

Mate, I'm not trolling, I'm just trying to understand why you would even put him/her in boarding school. Why not just keep him at home? If your really that concerned for your child you should keep him at home. Honestly, I would not even consider it for a minute.

 

Again, I'm not trying to wind you up, just trying to understand the circumstances that make one choose to do such a thing to your own child.

[The manic]

On 9/30/2018 at 4:35 PM, misterphil said:

I hate bullies. Teach your boy to crack the bullies in the face with a stone in a sock during the night. 

 

They'll think twice about picking on him again. 

???? No.! 

[Muddy Brown]

Thank you every one for responding to my inquiry. I apologize for not responding until now, but I have actually had login problems with the browser I was using, so have had to install a new browser to write this reply.

 

Just to complicate what I was saying, my grandson decided to change his mind the day before the end of the semester, and so in the end I have paid boarding and school fees for the next semester. His said he changed his mind because he wanted to be with his friends at school... and he says the worst bully has stopped and made friends with him, and another bully is not picking on him as much.

 

In explanation to one of the questions: he boards because I cannot help him with Homework which is mostly in Thai.

So he has to do homework at school where teachers are there to help him every day. also, just as an aside, I also wanted my grandson to live at home, so I can get him started on a self defence program, something like Aikido or JuJitso. So this will have to wait until he completes the next semester (March next year).

 

So keeping this short and to the point... yes I was pretty cranky with the school staff at the time, but I also understand that they are doing what they have been told to do. I was quite prepared to have a confrontation but in the end it was unnecessary and the bullying will be solved when my grandson starts learning some self defense. For now I have organized a system for him to SOS if he needs it, and I have also reassured him I am there for him when ever he needs it.

 

Thats about all I can do. So again, thank you everyone for responding with advice and thoughts. I genuinely appreciate it.