How do people get anything done with all this kreng jai?

[Csaw]

Like seriously. I really want to know. When is it what it actually is; deception. You say yes when it is actually a no. A promise that it will be done when there is no intention of doing it. Mistakes are never pointed out, so they will always continue to be made...i mean i've heard mistakes are good because you learn from them...but how do you learn from a mistake you never knew you made? Is everyone a psychic where they just instantly know that is it a "consideration" and not just a lie? What is trust built on in LOS? I mean, even the S in LOS, is it even real?

[RickBradford]

Greng jai goes together with 'mai bpen rai', which is code for "I won't criticize you if you don't criticize me."

 

The Thais like it -- it absolves them from having to think, to plan, to take responsibility for anything that goes wrong.

 

If you start to point out how much time and money (usually yours) that is being wasted, it is as though you were 'farangsplaining', somehow violating a sacred code which prevents any progress being made.

 

Look at the bountiful country that is Thailand, and how little they have made of it.

[themerg]

Go back to your home country. 

You don't love or appreciate Thailand.

Love is: Accept me (Thailand) as I am.

[elgenon]

Why would anyone want to live in a country where they don't respect the people?

 

I imagine you didn't stay in your own country because it doesn't measure up to what you want.

 

Dang those Thais. Why do they have to be so Thai?

[connda]

Welcome to Thailand.  Your observation explains why the Thai educational system is such a mess. 

 

Don't question; don't criticize; don't think critically.  Conform. 

 

It doesn't make for a resilient educational system but it works wonders to indoctrinate the masses.

[leither69]

44 minutes ago, themerg said:

Go back to your home country. 

You don't love or appreciate Thailand.

Love is: Accept me (Thailand) as I am.

That's because your brainwashed to accept the norm here, thinkers anywhere question and develop!! Telling people to go home indicates you are a sheep in a flock and don't think for yourself, and In turn spout crass comments to enable you to feel lmportant in a limited environment. Bahhh

[Lacessit]

I would have to say lying, cheating, stealing Westerners have cost me far more financially and emotionally than any Thai ever has.

[dotpoom]

1 hour ago, elgenon said:

Why would anyone want to live in a country where they don't respect the people?

 

I imagine you didn't stay in your own country because it doesn't measure up to what you want.

 

Dang those Thais. Why do they have to be so Thai?

Ha! Ha!...you reminded me of something.

When I went to London for work for the first time in the mid 60's, I met and befriended a fellow Irishman (we were two Paddy's in cockney land). Then a lot of people from different parts of Europe and Africa started to come and live in England too...it was a strange time for a lot of people and some began to feel uncomfortable (including my Paddy friend).

 One night we were having a drink in a bar and we were talking about these things. Then suddenly out loud he says..."If any more foreigners come over here...I'm going back home".

A few of us burst out laughing ..he never knew what we were laughing at.

[Wake Up]

1 hour ago, themerg said:

Go back to your home country. 

You don't love or appreciate Thailand.

Love is: Accept me (Thailand) as I am.

OP has a observation, question, and criticism and you advise him to go home. Love is : Acceptance, kindness and understanding others even if they differ from yourself. Peace ✌️ 

[ncc1701d]

Ha! I had to look it up. But now I understand the op’s frustrations. Applying it within my tgf and family - I can only guess that it goes along with their inability to plan more than a day in advance. To save from an immediate possible conflict, they “krang jai” - not looking forward to whatever the issue is becoming worse because of it. 

[AhFarangJa]

17 hours ago, Csaw said:

I mean, even the S in LOS, is it even real?

Of course it is.....Sharks / Scams / Skimming / Swindle / Sting / Shakedown / Sham / Shady Deals / Sharp Practice.........

But........For me the positives far outway the negatives once you learn to go with the flow. When I come back to the village near Surin the S simply stands for SMILES, Smiles from the locals, Smiles from the shopkeepers, Smiles from the children......Priceless..... I truly hope you find your way here....

[atyclb]

2 hours ago, Lacessit said:

I would have to say lying, cheating, stealing Westerners have cost me far more financially and emotionally than any Thai ever has.

 

 

give it time

[atyclb]

4 hours ago, themerg said:

Go back to your home country. 

You don't love or appreciate Thailand.

Love is: Accept me (Thailand) as I am.

 

 

you silly man.

 

everybody know khazakstan is greatest country in world

[khunPer]

There is an explanation of "kreng jai" here: "Demystifying Kreng Jai".

 

Quote

Kreng Jai, which literally means “awe of heart” but can best be translated into “consideration”, is a cause of much frustration for foreigners who live in Thailand or foreigners with Thai partners. ... Kreng Jai might affect the lives of guileless foreigners living in Thailand in a number of ways.

 

I missed an explanation of "Kreng jai" in the otherwise excellent book about Thai culture for foreigners: "Thailand Fewer"...????

 

[NoshowJones]

3 hours ago, Lacessit said:

I would have to say lying, cheating, stealing Westerners have cost me far more financially and emotionally than any Thai ever has.

 If I ever caught anyone Westerner or Thai or any other nationality stealing from me, it would be soreface time, that has never happened to me in Thailand.

As for lying or cheating, I am not saying it has never happened, but to my knowledge, no individual person has lied or cheated me in Thailand, although several vendors, as with everybody, particularly at MBK, have tried.

Edited October 6, 2018 by possum1931

[NoshowJones]

2 hours ago, Wake Up said:

OP has a observation, question, and criticism and you advise him to go home. Love is : Acceptance, kindness and understanding others even if they differ from yourself. Peace ✌️ 

Unfortunately, there are a minority, but still many, members of the "if you don't like it go home"

brigade here on Thaivisa.

[rumak]

4 hours ago, themerg said:

Go back to your home country. 

You don't love or appreciate Thailand.

Love is: Accept me (Thailand) as I am.

Sounds about right to me !    

[rumak]

3 hours ago, Lacessit said:

I would have to say lying, cheating, stealing Westerners have cost me far more financially and emotionally than any Thai ever has.

ahhh,  a breath of fresh air .   Mainly 2 types of "visitors" here.   One group has managed to get through the adversities (that exist in EVERY country) and have made a life for themselves .   The other group hasn't done quite as well and so blame it on others.  I am pretty sure they would have the same mindset anywhere .  And so the question:  if you don't like it here why don't you leave really is a VERY GOOD  QUESTION.   imho, of course

Edited October 6, 2018 by rumak

[KiChakayan]

4 hours ago, elgenon said:

Why would anyone want to live in a country where they don't respect the people?

 

I imagine you didn't stay in your own country because it doesn't measure up to what you want.

 

Dang those Thais. Why do they have to be so Thai?

One may have all sorts of reasons to stay in Thailand. I do so too, and I claim the right to point the finger to the weaknesses of the Thai character that made this place and "underachieving country" (This is a new development class I try to sell to the World Bank). ????

 

Many Thais are painfully aware of their underachievement and some express resentment, maybe hatred at times, when our overachievement makes them lose face. What amuses me is that the Thais are now brown nosing the Chinese who are some of the worst overachievers of all. 

 

To finish, I watched "Kundun" with my wife yesterday evening and, since she is a short, sexy and clever girl, she said "Oohhh my Budha the same is happening here now"...

[Ctkong]

Kreng Jai in thai culture may be attributed to their Buddhist faith as well as their ‘giving face’ to the other party. They are in contrast to the confrontational nature of western culture and values. 

buddhist believe in karmic consequences and believe the state of a certain incident is because of karmic entanglement. 

[Different]

The famous saying' you can change yourself but you can't change the world.

So, changing one self in Thailand is a journey to figure out the purpose of life, with all civil world and different cultures.  You end up here with wondering if I am here  a 3rd world country, life seems a lot easier and joyful considering money factor and peace of mind.  Ask yourself if wrongs things keep happening to you by others, if so, you are in trouble because it is you having the problem not them.  Then things will turn clearer as you camly hold back and enjoy the ride as it passes by as we know and have seen thousands of expats living here since nam war.

[Jonnapat]

20 hours ago, RickBradford said:

Greng jai goes together with 'mai bpen rai', which is code for "I won't criticize you if you don't criticize me."

 

The Thais like it -- it absolves them from having to think, to plan, to take responsibility for anything that goes wrong.

 

If you start to point out how much time and money (usually yours) that is being wasted, it is as though you were 'farangsplaining', somehow violating a sacred code which prevents any progress being made.

 

Look at the bountiful country that is Thailand, and how little they have made of it.

Great answer

[Jonnapat]

1 hour ago, possum1931 said:

 If I ever caught anyone Westerner or Thai or any other nationality stealing from me, it would be soreface time, that has never happened to me in Thailand.

As for lying or cheating, I am not saying it has never happened, but to my knowledge, no individual person has lied or cheated me in Thailand, although several vendors, as with everybody, particularly at MBK, have tried.

Lucky you!

[marcusarelus]

20 hours ago, RickBradford said:

Greng jai goes together with 'mai bpen rai', which is code for "I won't criticize you if you don't criticize me."

 

The Thais like it -- it absolves them from having to think, to plan, to take responsibility for anything that goes wrong.

 

If you start to point out how much time and money (usually yours) that is being wasted, it is as though you were 'farangsplaining', somehow violating a sacred code which prevents any progress being made.

 

Look at the bountiful country that is Thailand, and how little they have made of it.

Look at the countries around it?  OK.  Laos, Cambodia, Vietnam, Burma?  Thailand has done remarkably well looking at its neighbors.  No significant loss of life in WWI, WWII and Vietnam like the millions of lives lost by its neighbors.  Thailand has a health care system that makes me rather go to a hospital here than in the West (with my insurance I can pick).  The only people I've met who continually downgrade Thailand are the ones who couldn't make it here for whatever reason.  30 million tourists and thousands of expats coming here as opposed to the usual 16 anti Thai posters here.  Who you going to believe? 

[rumak]

1 hour ago, marcusarelus said:

Look at the countries around it?  OK.  Laos, Cambodia, Vietnam, Burma?  Thailand has done remarkably well looking at its neighbors.  No significant loss of life in WWI, WWII and Vietnam like the millions of lives lost by its neighbors.  Thailand has a health care system that makes me rather go to a hospital here than in the West (with my insurance I can pick).  The only people I've met who continually downgrade Thailand are the ones who couldn't make it here for whatever reason.  30 million tourists and thousands of expats coming here as opposed to the usual 16 anti Thai posters here.  Who you going to believe? 

you count only 16?   you are being very kind today  m.a

[Russell17au]

The way that I see it is that you were not happy in your home country and you chose to come here and live but now you are not happy here, instead of whinging and whining about things here go and find somewhere to live where you will be happy. It is all about YOUR choice and YOUR happiness. If you are not happy with something in your life then change it, whether it be where you live, your job, your clothes, you are the one that makes these choices. So get on with your life where you are happy, no one is forcing you to live here

[CharlieH]

Reported post removed.

[The Cobra]

5 hours ago, Different said:

The famous saying' you can change yourself but you can't change the world.

So, changing one self in Thailand is a journey to figure out the purpose of life, with all civil world and different cultures.  You end up here with wondering if I am here  a 3rd world country, life seems a lot easier and joyful considering money factor and peace of mind.  Ask yourself if wrongs things keep happening to you by others, if so, you are in trouble because it is you having the problem not them.  Then things will turn clearer as you camly hold back and enjoy the ride as it passes by as we know and have seen thousands of expats living here since nam war.

Agree with this.

 

Its not always where you are but your attitude towards it, usually its the latter that needs adjusting.

[rumak]

On 10/5/2018 at 6:35 PM, RickBradford said:

Greng jai goes together with 'mai bpen rai', which is code for "I won't criticize you if you don't criticize me."

 

The Thais like it -- it absolves them from having to think, to plan, to take responsibility for anything that goes wrong.

 

If you start to point out how much time and money (usually yours) that is being wasted, it is as though you were 'farangsplaining', somehow violating a sacred code which prevents any progress being made.

 

Look at the bountiful country that is Thailand, and how little they have made of it.

Is your thai nickname Bwana ?  Sounds like you were born a little late for your calling.

co·lo·ni·al·ism

kəˈlōnēəˌlizəm/

noun

 

1. the policy or practice of acquiring full or partial political control over another country, occupying it with settlers, and exploiting it economically.

[MyFriend You]

16 hours ago, connda said:

Welcome to Thailand.  Your observation explains why the Thai educational system is such a mess. 

 

Don't question; don't criticize; don't think critically.  Conform. 

 

It doesn't make for a resilient educational system but it works wonders to indoctrinate the masses.

"Resistance is futile, you will be assimilated"