Worst Joke Ever 2024

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[Zyxel]

[Zyxel]

[Zyxel]

[Zyxel]

[overherebc]

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[roo860]

[roo860]

[roo860]

[oxo1947]

Regrets, I've had a few but then again I've never left the cord from the vacuum cleaner outside the........

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[roo860]

[roo860]

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A woman brought a very limp duck to a veterinary surgeon. As she laid her pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope and listened to the bird's chest.

After a moment or two, the vet shook his head sadly and said, "I'm sorry, your duck, Cuddles, has passed away." The distressed woman wailed, "Are you sure?" "Yes, I am sure. Your duck is dead," replied the vet. "How can you be so sure?" she protested.

"I mean you haven't done any testing on him or anything. He might just be in a coma or something." The vet sighed, turned around and left the room. He returned a few minutes later with an old dog.

As the duck's owner looked on in amazement, the dog stood on his hind legs, put his front paws on the examination table and sniffed the duck from top to bottom.

He then looked up at the vet with sad eyes and shook his head. The vet patted the dog on the head and took it out of the room. A few minutes later he returned with a cat.

The cat jumped on the table and also delicately sniffed the bird from head to foot. The cat sat back on its haunches, shook its head, meowed softly and strolled out of the room. The vet looked at the woman and said, "I'm sorry, but as I said, this is most definitely, 100% certifiably, a dead duck."

He turned to his computer terminal, hit a few keys and produced a bill, which he handed to the woman. The duck's owner, still in shock, took the bill. "$150!" she cried,

"$150 just to tell me my duck is dead?!?" The vet shrugged. "I'm sorry. If you had just taken my word for it, the bill would have been $20, but with the Lab Report and the Cat Scan, it's now $150."

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[ravip]

 

 

[roo860]

[roo860]

[ravip]

A police officer was patrolling late at night off the main highway.
At nearly midnight, he saw a couple in a car in Lovers' Lane, with the interior light brightly glowing.
He carefully approached the car to get a closer look. Then he saw a young man behind the wheel, reading a computer magazine. He immediately noticed a young woman in the rear seat, filing her fingernails.
Puzzled by this surprising situation, the officer walked to the car and gently rapped on the driver's window.
The young man lowered his window. "Uh, yes, officer?"
The cop asked, "What are you doing?"
The young man said, "Well, officer, I'm reading a magazine."
Pointing towards the young woman in the back seat the officer asked, "And, her, what is she doing?"
The young man shrugged, "Sir, I believe she's filing her fingernails."
Now, the cop was totally confused. A young couple, alone, in a car, at night in Lover's Lane and nothing obscene is happening!
He asked, "What's your age, young man?”
The young man said, "I'm 22, sir."
The cop asked, "And her, what's her age?"
The young man looked at his watch and replied, "She'll be 18 in 11 minutes."

[roo860]

Can someone let Heather Mills know I've found her leg.

[roo860]

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