Worst Joke Ever 2024

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[ravip]

*A verbal-fight between husband and wife...

 

             *WIFE*
I wrote your name on sand,
it got washed...
I wrote your name in air,
it was blown away...
Then, I wrote your name in my heart & got a Heart Attack!
 

          *HUSBAND*
God saw me hungry,
he created pizza.
He saw me thirsty,
he created Pepsi.
He saw me in the dark,
he created light.
He saw me without problems, he created YOU!

 

                 *WIFE*
Twinkle twinkle little star.
You should know what you are.
And once you know what you are,
Mental hospital is not so far!

 

             *HUSBAND*
The rain makes all things beautiful.
The grass and flowers too. 
If rain makes all things beautiful,
Why doesn't it rain on you?

 

               *WIFE* 
Roses are red; Violets are blue;
Monkeys like you should be kept in zoo.
                               
            *Husband*
Don't feel so angry
you will find me there too
Not in a cage but laughing at you!

 

[GarryP]

On 4/1/2023 at 11:43 AM, dcsw53 said:

 

 

I had some workers in my house when I played that. 55555

[MJCM]

I was at the library, when people began throwing Stephen King novels around. 
 

I could not figure out why. Then IT hit me.

[scottiejohn]

51 minutes ago, MJCM said:

I was at the library, when people began throwing Stephen King novels around. 
 

I could not figure out why. Then IT hit me.

I work a book store and this snobby woman comes in every day asking for the same stupid Stephen King book...

 

And every time she gets rude when I tell her we don't have it.

 

Finally today I lost my temper and screamed at her to take her entitled attitude and get out of the store. There was some profanity involved. I might have been a little harsh, but to be fair...

 

She was asking for It.

Edited April 2, 2023 by scottiejohn

[scottiejohn]

Two Little Boys;
After a heavy rainstorm filled all the potholes in the streets and alleys, a young mother watched her two little boys playing in the puddles through her kitchen window.

 

The older of the two, a five year old lad, grabbed his sibling by the back of his head and shoved his face into a water filled pothole.

 

As the boy recovered and stood laughing and dripping, the mother runs to the yard in a panic.

 

'Why on earth did you do that to your little brother?!' she asks as she shook the older boy in anger.

'We were just playing 'church' mommy, ' he said.

'I was just baptizing him.....in the name of the Father, the Son and in the hole-he-goes.'

 

 

Edited April 2, 2023 by scottiejohn

[scottiejohn]

[scottiejohn]

[scottiejohn]

[ballpoint]

3 hours ago, scottiejohn said:

Two Little Boys;
After a heavy rainstorm filled all the potholes in the streets and alleys, a young mother watched her two little boys playing in the puddles through her kitchen window.

 

The older of the two, a five year old lad, grabbed his sibling by the back of his head and shoved his face into a water filled pothole.

 

As the boy recovered and stood laughing and dripping, the mother runs to the yard in a panic.

 

'Why on earth did you do that to your little brother?!' she asks as she shook the older boy in anger.

'We were just playing 'church' mommy, ' he said.

'I was just baptizing him.....in the name of the Father, the Son and in the hole-he-goes.'

 

 

 

[scottiejohn]

1 hour ago, ballpoint said:

 

Fantastic sketch and comedian. R.I.P.

Thank God I am an atheist!

[still kicking]

[still kicking]

Me in Phuket 

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[still kicking]

 

[MJCM]

[MJCM]

Yesterday my wife thought she saw a cockroach in the kitchen.
 

She sprayed everything down and cleaned thoroughly. 

 

Today I’m putting the cockroach in the bathroom.

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