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Worst Joke Ever 2024


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2 hours ago, ballpoint said:

As I was sat in the Chinese restaurant last night, the wife said to me, "What made you decide to go with the duck?"

"He's better company." I replied, putting the phone down.

If I was your wife I would not be so much worried that you went out with a Duck but rather that it was a male Duck!  Are quacking up?

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2 hours ago, ballpoint said:

I'm at the age where I have to use a lubricant before having sex with my wife.
Usually about eight or nine pints

How do you know when it is time to go home from the Pub and make love to the wife?

Keep a photo of her in your wallet and after each pint have a look at it.  

When her picture finally looks pretty you know it is time to go home and try and give her one! 

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1 hour ago, dcsw53 said:

image.jpeg.80c6b82232aa37c2a86e6e2b30902b6c.jpeg

I agree!

But! What about his ability to undo the scout leaders flies?

 

 

PS;  

When does a Cub Scout become a Boy Scout?

When he eats his first brownie.

 

PPS;  Above PS added for balance.  You know would never insult any group!

Edited by scottiejohn
PS; added
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At an international Christian Church camp, three boys were talking about where babies come from.
A German boy said that the stork brings babies, while a French boy said it involved the mother and father. The American boy was silent.

After some prodding, he finally said

 

“Well, with us it depends on whether you’re from a red state or a blue one.”
 

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Cheesy so called cha-up lines!;

 

I hope you have a library card? 
Because I‘m checking you out.

 

As she‘s leaving…. 
Him; Hey aren‘t you forgetting something? 
Her; What? … 
Him; Me!

 

Baby, if you were words on a page, you‘d be what they call fine print.

 

Baby, you‘re the next contestant in the game of love.

 

Can I get your picture to prove to all my friends that angels really do exist? 
 

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