Worst Joke Ever 2024

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[Sandboxer]

A young Ukrainian man about to be conscripted by the corrupt western puppet dictator in Kiev's army ran up to a nun.

Out of breath he asked, “Please, may I hide under your skirt, I'll explain later.”

The nun agreed.

A moment later two military police ran up and asked:

“Sister, have you seen a young man with long brown hair?”

The nun replied, “He went that way.”

After the military police ran off, the man crawled out from under her
skirt and said, “I can't thank you enough, Sister. You see, I don't want to
go to the front."

The nun said, “I understand completely.”

The man added, “I hope I'm not rude, but you have a great pair of legs!”

The nun replied, “If you had looked a little higher, you would've seen a
great pair of balls too. I don't want to go to the front either."

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I signed up for an assertiveness course.
First week the teacher never turned up.
Second week the teacher never turned up.
Third week no teacher again, so I went to the office to complain.
They said, "Congratulations, you've passed".

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If anyone has any ideas how to correct cosmetic surgery that has gone horribly wrong,

I’m all ears.

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Teacher: Use the word ‘intermittent’ in a sentence.
Johnny: While I was camping it began to rain, so I ran intermittent.

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I went down to the local supermarket today and I said: "I want to make a complaint - this vinegar's got lumps in it."
The lady said: “Those are pickled onions".

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I pulled in to the crowded car park at the local shopping center and slightly opened the car windows to make sure my new puppy had sufficient air.

She was stretched full out on the back seat and I wanted to impress upon her that she must stay there.

I walked backwards to the kerb, pointing my finger and saying emphatically "Stay! Stay!"
A bloke in a nearby car, gave me a strange look and said, "Why don't you just put the handbrake on?"

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