Worst Joke Ever 2024

[ravip]

Want to know how to fit 71 people in the car?

2 in the front while we handle 69 in the back.

[Zyxel]

[Zyxel]

[Zyxel]

[Tarteso]

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Edited January 11, 2022 by Tarteso

[billd766]

2 hours ago, WorriedNoodle said:

Oddly enough in Thailand they use the metric system, but if you want to buy certain stuff like blue water pipe they use inches (BSP), The other odd thing is that while the pipe diameter is measured in inches, the length of the pipe is in metres. Screws and nails are also sized in inches.

[billd766]

1 hour ago, Zyxel said:

Vorsprung Durch Technik 

[WorriedNoodle]

Twitter explained in 15 seconds:

 

[WorriedNoodle]

[WorriedNoodle]

[WorriedNoodle]

[WorriedNoodle]

[WorriedNoodle]

[WorriedNoodle]

[WorriedNoodle]

[WorriedNoodle]

[WorriedNoodle]

[WorriedNoodle]

[WorriedNoodle]

[Zyxel]

[Zyxel]

[Zyxel]

[Zyxel]

[ballpoint]

Whenever I left a door open, my mum would ask if I was born in a barn.

Which is odd because you'd think she'd remember something like that.

[ballpoint]

Report: BMW developing self-driving cars that tailgate, never use indicators and drive like <deleted> s.

[ballpoint]

I asked my girlfriend to pass me a newspaper.
"Don't be silly," she replied, "you can use my Ipad."
That spider never knew what ******* hit it.

[ballpoint]

District nurse tells father of the newborn that he can go bathe the child.

She goes into the bathroom to see dad holding the infant by the ear and swishing him around the bathtub.

"We don't bathe a baby like that, young man"!!!

"You do when the water's this bloody hot!"

[ballpoint]

I rang the RSPCA yesterday and said, "I have just found my dog lying down in a puddle of blood in my back garden."
"That's awful." she said. "Is it moving?"
I replied "Quite emotional, yes."

[ballpoint]

There hasn't been a new conspiracy theory for ages,
I think the government is blocking them.

[ballpoint]

The Pope was due to give a talk on contraception today, but pulled out at the last minute.