Worst Joke Ever 2024

[WorriedNoodle]

[WorriedNoodle]

[overherebc]

2 hours ago, Crossy said:

Breaking news now in uk.

After the road has been dug up the old tarmac and rubble will be used to fill in the Bristol Channel as it was the main route for slave ships in UK.

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[roo860]

[roo860]

[ravip]

I met a surgeon who named his son Naïf (pronounced Knife).
I said what an apt name!    
Then I came to know the following: 

1.  Lawyer’s daughter Sue.
2.  Radiologist’s son Ray. 
3.  Ophthalmologist’s daughter Iris. 
4.  Florist’s daughter Rose. 
5.  Mechanic’s son Jack.  
6.  Archaeologist’s son Doug. 
7.  Thief’s son Rob. 
8.  Gymnast’s son Jim. 
9.  Jeweler’s twin daughters Ruby and Pearl. 
10.  Ornithologist’s son Robin.  
11.  Orthopedician’s son Boney.  
12.  Barber’s son Harry. 
13.  Solicitor’s son Will.  
14.  Accountant’s son Bill. 
15.  Horticulturist’s daughter Ivy. 
16.  Gardener’s son Pete. 
17.   Monarch’s son Prince. 
18.  Dramatist’s daughter Oprah.  
19.  Sanitation engineer’s son John.  
20.   Highway engineer’s son Miles. 
21.   Dietitian’s daughter Olive.  
22.  Actor’s son Oscar.

[Crossy]

For those who believe in "intelligent design":-

• Our knees bend the wrong way.
• Our optical nerve goes through the retina, so we have an ugly software patch in our brains that fills in the blind spot with whatever is next to it.
• Our babies are born only halfway through the gestation process and need to be carried everywhere for a year.
• The female anus is too close to the urethra, making infections of the urinary tract commonplace.
• The male sperm won’t survive the body temperature, so he needs to carry the testicles in a bag outside the body. Many other mammals have the same problem there.
• Our spines weren’t designed for us to walk on two legs, so we get back problems.
• Our teeth need to fit together, meaning that we can’t grow new ones when they wear out.
• Our brains are, incredibly, both so good at pattern recognition that we see things that aren’t there, and so bad at pattern recognition that we don’t see things that are there.
• Our brains are hard-wired to take shortcuts so that we draw the wrong conclusions all the time. Wikipedia has pages and pages just in the list of common fallacies, each requiring a page or two to describe how we can be so terminally stupid.
• We need more water to drink than any other land animal, and yet we can’t sense the smell of it. Most other animals can smell water at least half a mile away.
• We breathe and eat through the same opening, and the plumbing separates way too late, making us basically the only animal on the planet that can choke on our food.
• We need to learn what is edible. Most animals are either born knowing it, or just apply the simple rule “tasty=edible”.

Well, I could go on, but no one who has spent any amount of time in a human body could ever come up with the preposterous idea of “intelligent design”.

 

If we are designed on purpose, the engineer was obviously not very bright and probably drunk (or had a supply of really good stuff).

 

 

[Crossy]

2 hours ago, roo860 said:

 

My baby sister did a TV advert (commercial) with him for a magazine piece. She said he was a wonderful chap, very friendly putting her at her ease.

 

She also did the UK 25th aniversary ads for Ronseal "it does exactly what it says on the tin", also on Youtube.

  

 

[roo860]

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[chickenslegs]

8 hours ago, ballpoint said:

It's just pining for the fjords.

[roo860]